No Coincidences

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Joseph Smith’s Long Night

Two thoughts from reading A Marvelous Work and a Wonder about Joseph Smith –

From his story of Moroni coming to his bedroom three times throughout the night:

Joseph Smith is up all night having visions. In the morning he goes to work the farm and his dad can tell he’s out of sorts and sends him home. On his way home he literally collapses with exhaustion.

It occurred to me – wouldn’t it have been convenient for Joseph Smith to have gotten this instruction at any other time besides in the middle of the night when he had to do hard heavy labor in the morning? Didn’t God know Joseph Smith was going to collapse on his way back home? Didn’t God care?

God rarely asks us to do easy things. Things aren’t meant to be convenient. Things are meant to make us grow.

Another thing, the collapse led directly to Moroni returning and Joseph being told to return to his father. Do you think when Joseph collapsed with exhaustion he might have wondered, “Why did he have to come in the middle of the night?” Joseph didn’t know the end from the beginning. He was directed to his father who believed Joseph when he said he saw an angel and his father told him to immediately go follow the commands he was given.

Which leads to another thought I had.

What kind of fascinating teenager was Joseph Smith? Today, a teenager says, “I don’t feel good I can’t go to school” and parents are skeptical. Joseph Smith, in a situation where many teenagers would be trying to avoid intense manual labor, told his father he saw an angel “that commanded me to *cough not farm today, I mean, go get some plates from a hill *cough take a nap, I mean, yeah.”

And that father, instead of thinking, “My lazy teenage son was up too late playing video games (or whatever teenagers did in the 1800s) and now he doesn’t want to work,” thought instead, yes, that was a vision from God, I believe you, go do what the angel told you to do.

Jokes aside, the point I’m trying to make is that Joseph Smith must have been a fascinating young man. His father believed him. I wonder if, when he came back without the plates, his father wondered if he’d been duped into letting his son have an afternoon nap on a hill. This appeared to not be the case. Joseph’s family believed him from the beginning. For four years when he visited the hill annually. For months when he had nothing to show for the plates he had recovered. It was some time before he started to provide real evidence, a translation. Before the translation started, his entire family just had to take his word for it.

Again, what kind of extraordinary person was a 14-year-old Joseph Smith that his father immediately believed he did see an angel, he was commanded to do something, he was not making it up. I believe he must have been a very honest young man. I believe he was young, still a rough stone, but destined to eventually become a prophet of God.

December 7, 2023
The Higher Law and the End of Blood Sacrifice

Christ fulfilled the law. This was why blood sacrifices were done with after His last and great sacrifice. But what does this mean, practically?

The Israelites practiced God’s law which was a law of reparations. You take out the eye of an enemy maliciously, you take out his eye. Someone kills your brother, you kill him. The problem with this is obvious. Blood begets blood and when does it end?

This is why the Israelites practiced the law of sacrifice. They took an animal, that had nothing to do with bloodshed, or theft, or lying, and instead of continuing the constant cycle of reparations, they sacrificed the blood of the animal. This is obviously what Christ represented when He died on the cross. He paid the price for all our sins, because we are incapable of paying such a price.

This is why Christ preached a higher law. No longer was it an eye for an eye but it was turn the other cheek. No longer was it sue for damages but give your second coat. Christ’s point was that after He died for our sins, animal sacrifices would be done away with, there was no more putting your sins off on a goat. Christ was teaching the end of strife. Someone wrongs you, forgive them and move on. This put an end to the vicious cycle of payback and recompense.

Who was the greatest example ever of this? Jesus Christ never asked us to do something He didn’t do first, when He was up on the cross, and forgave those who had scourged, beaten, and crucified Him.

But of course, justice still had to be paid for a wrong done. That’s where Christ came in, paying the ultimate and last sacrifice with His blood. So, we flawed human beings, who sometimes commit wrong without even meaning to, can be forgiven. This is the miracle of what Christ did for us, the miracle of His atonement, the miracle of His forgiveness, and the miracle of the higher law.

November 30, 2023
Ivy Thoughts Part 4

After a discouraging post last week, and on this Thanksgiving day when there’s so much to be grateful for, it’s time for another happy installment of Ivy Thoughts. Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 for reference.

We had a bit of a fly infestation in our area for a couple weeks. Flies were in our home. We talked to neighbors and learned it was everyone. This led to a couple weeks of me constantly swatting flies. It became a fun recreational activity for me. Make lemonade out of lemons kind of thing. Now, Beth says if Ivy hears her make any loud sound in the kitchen, Ivy will yell, “You killin a fly mommy?”

All these dead flies have led to another interesting development. We were on a trip to the Grand Canyon and Ivy started talking about how someone died. I looked at Beth questioningly. I hadn’t heard Ivy talk about death before. Beth asked me if I knew where this discussion on death was coming from. I started scouring my memory for books we’d read, shows we’d watched, movies we’d seen, discussions we’d had in front of her. I couldn’t come up with anything. Beth informed me that Ivy’s interest (or knowledge in?) death started after all the dead flies she’d been seeing. It’s crazy what these kids pick up and how they learn things.

We went to an NBA Finals party at a friend’s house. Ivy and Sage were the only two kids invited. They’re cool like that. But it was basically a bunch of guys I play basketball with, a couple wives/girlfriends, then Beth and I with our two girls. The hosts got Ivy a box of Barbies to play with. This was Ivy’s first experience with Barbies and boy did she take to them. The next day Beth reported an exchange Ivy had with her Fisher Price Little People (her old favorite toys). It was a reenactment that went something like this, “People say, ‘What you want for Christmas?’ And I say ‘ummm I want Barbies like at the party’ and they say, ‘okay we tell Santa.’”

Sage

Sage

I was reading Ivy a bedtime book. Somehow, this night, she got ahold of Beth’s phone during bedtime and was scrolling through Beth’s pictures, which are almost all Ivy and Sage, obviously. Ivy wasn’t paying much attention to the book. I thought about giving up, but reading to her at night is one of my favorite parts of any day. It wasn’t the first time I was reading to an un-captivated audience. In an attempt to get Ivy’s attention, I said, “Look! A fireman!” Pointing to a fireman in the book. Ivy, without looking up from the phone, said, “That’s right, Dad.” It was a terrifying look into my future.

The very next morning Ivy and I were sitting on the couch eating fruit and watching the only movie that was allowed in our home while Ivy’s awake for 6 months, the Polar Express. She was entranced by Polar Express, despite it being her (twice a day for ~6 months, let’s go with) 360^th viewing. I said to her, “These strawberries are really good.” Without looking away from her movie she replied, “That’s right, Dad.”

Proud moments are one of the best parts of being a parent. Proud moments happen about as often as “not proud” moments. We try our best to laugh at the not proud moments and dwell on the proud moments. A “not proud” moment is every time Ivy throws food on the floor. I had a recent proud moment. It was just her and I hanging out in the living room. Beth and Sage were napping. Ivy and I were trying to decide what we wanted to do. Options included playing a game, building a tower, or playing with her Little People.

Then Ivy caught me off guard. She said, “We clean?”

I responded, “You want to clean the room?”

Ivy said, “We clean. Mommy be so proud?”

I told Ivy that Mom would be so proud if we cleaned the room. Instead of playing a game, we spent the next 30 minutes cleaning the room. It was awesome.

I don’t know how Beth will feel about me sharing this story but it’s too funny. Also, it’s not true, so it’s fine. For whatever reason, Ivy got obsessed with the idea of stinky breath. For other random obsessions see other Ivy Thougts posts for mentions of Zach, fried rice, and puppets. I believe this obsession originated from Beth telling Ivy she needed to brush her teeth, or her breath would stink. The other day, Beth was cuddling with Ivy on the couch. Ivy was sitting with her head on Beth’s shoulder. Beth looked down at Ivy and said, “I love you. I’m so glad I get to be with you.” Ivy looked up at Beth and said, “Your breath stink.”

Sage

Do you have a little hype person for every time you go to the bathroom? I do. We recently had a road trip back from St. George to Arizona. We stopped 4 times. Every time I took Ivy with me to the bathroom and every time she stood behind me at the urinal and said, “Go Daddy go! Go Daddy go!” She’s been doing this for months and it’s really quite encouraging.

I showed Ivy a picture of her as a baby and asked, “Do you know who that is?”

“Sage,” she responded.

I told her, no, that was baby Ivy.

She responded, “Oh… I love her.”

We should all love ourselves the way Ivy loves baby Ivy.

November 23, 2023
November 2023 Israel-Palestine Conflict

I wrote about the Israel-Palestine conflict earlier this year.

Here we are 10 months later. I encourage anyone to go read my original post. I just did. It helped me refresh in my mind the complexity of this issue. This issue clearly isn’t going away in our lifetimes. I think it’s only a matter of time before this issue could impact our actual lives so it’s good to be aware of what’s going on.

Before I write this, be aware that I am aggressively avoidant of the news. It’s so conflicting and I don’t trust it. If I’m going to look into this topic, I’m going to do a lot of research and reading. Beth just said she didn’t know how to interpret the news because she’ll hear one thing and then the complete opposite from moment to moment. So, some of what I write here might be considered politically incorrect. I don’t care.

I recently accidentally listened to a soundbite from the Republican presidential debate. Someone was asked what Israel should do to the terrorists, Hamas. The response was so… aggressive. I had a bunch of other adjectives there at first, for what the response was. I removed them because I don’t want to offend anyone. That said, I will voice my opinion here. I hope anyone reading who would use aggressive terms about what Israel should do will consider the complexity of the situation before proclaiming that Hamas must be destroyed by any means necessary.

I just went to search for exactly what was said by that Republican candidate and found an article in the Washington Post with the title:

“Candidates use violent rhetoric on Israel-Gaza war without mentioning humanitarian aid“

I think it’s immensely important to remember that the pursuit of vengeance is causing more atrocities to be performed.

Terrorism is bad. Obvious statement? Of course. So is retaliation, withholding food, water, and medical supplies to innocent people, bombing hospitals, war crimes.

Division.

Pro-Israel or pro-Palestine. These are labels.

This entire world is focused on creating more divisions among us. Satan reigns in the hearts of men.

The world is not black and white. The Book of Mormon is a story of two groups of people that couldn’t coexist. They had a centuries-long feud based upon an argument over the right to rule. It is written from the perspective of the Nephites so it can often incorrectly be characterized as a story of good guys versus bad guys. The story of the Nephites and the Lamanites is not a story of good guys and bad guys. It is a story of two groups of people with differing views, ideologies, politics, and cultures that each felt they were in the right.

The world is not black and white. It is seldom as simple as good guys and bad guys. That’s what we’re seeing in the Middle East right now. A study of the Book of Mormon can show us exactly where this kind of feud leads. It can only lead to complete destruction on both sides.

Some quotes from my last post on this conflict –

“What’s worse is what is being done to Israeli people, we are becoming animals.”
Two Blue Lines

“It’s clear that there will not be peace if we continue to demolish innocent peoples’ houses…”
Two Blue Lines

“All former Shin Bet (Israel’s internal security service, think the FBI) leaders were unanimous; Israel must talk with the terrorists. They must talk with anyone that might talk to them. Peace cannot come through military or tactics or fighting or intelligence.”
Israel-Palestine Conflict

“When conflict becomes decades of conflict, an eye for an eye becomes 100,000 eyes for 100,000 eyes.”
Israel-Palestine Conflict

The two great commandments of God are to love and to love (Matthew 22:36-40).

This conflict doesn’t end until forgiveness and love supersede vengeance and bloodshed.

Now, look at the cover picture, at the top of this post. Look at it closely. Stare at it. Put yourself there. Be the man in that picture for a fraction of a second. I did. That’s why I’m writing this post. My heart breaks for those caught in a war. My heart breaks for those who want nothing to do with this conflict, caught in between angry, vengeful, hateful factions. My heart breaks for men and women holding their dead children in their arms.

I am not Pro-Israel or Pro-Palestine. I am Pro-peace. I believe we all should be.

November 16, 2023
Embrace the Chaos: Parenting a Toddler

On the heels of my Mr. Feeny post I had a revelation.

Growing up, I have vague memories of staying up late with my mom at a very young age. I remember sitting with her on the couch while she folded laundry watching Law and Order or CSI. While these are vague memories, they’re powerful memories.

The last few months have been a battle with Ivy. I won’t go into all the details to avoid seeming like a completely incompetent parent. To give you a tiny glimpse into it, Ivy requires us to lie next to her bed and hold her hand for her to sleep in her bed. She’ll then sleep there for a couple hours until she wakes up and realizes we’re not there, then come into our bed. That lying next to her bed phase waiting for her to fall asleep can be 10 minutes or it can be three hours.

I am completely open to suggestions on how to get your toddler to sleep.

I will maybe try suggestions but more likely laugh in the face of any suggestion that implies you can get a toddler to do anything they don’t want to do.

Beth and I have really tried to add some structure to Ivy’s life. Before she become a full-blown 2 year-old with all the personality and stubbornness of an aged mule, I think we did a good job. We still try to get her to bed between 7pm and 8pm. See the above paragraph for notes on “trying” to get her to go to bed.

Last night, I laid next to Ivy for 30 minutes while she sang, did some sort of dance lying down (I just know her feet were moving a lot), went through all her books (it was pitch black), and repeatedly re-adjusted the holding of my hand. After 30 minutes I stood up and left the room. I had a Jazz game to watch. She followed.

Beth went to bed around 9:00pm.

Ivy and I stayed up until 10:30pm watching the game. We laughed, we high-fived, we hugged, we danced, we cheered (quietly), we cried (they lost).

“Education is not about obscure facts and little test scores. Education is about the overall effect of years of slow absorption of concepts, philosophies, approaches to problem-solving. The whole process is so grand and all-encompassing that it really can’t be threatened by the occasional late-night no-hitter. It is important that a boy (or girl) spend time with his (or her) father.”
Mr. Feeny

I may remember that night for the rest of my life. It was not a no-hitter, just the sixth regular season game in an 82 game season. But I may remember that night forever because it was so great.

This led me to sending my mom a text, which read:

“I’m more and more trending toward your way of doing things. What’s the point in having a battle of contrition with a 3yo that I’ll never win? Trying to put her to sleep at 8pm and lying next to her bed for hours on end hoping she’ll fall asleep. Why? So she can sleep for 2 hours then get up and get in our bed anyway? Not to mention if she doesn’t go to sleep, she’s at her peak best behavior ever. She’s sweet, nice, and plays quietly on her own, only occasionally asking if you want to play with her. It’s all going to come back around anyway. Either she’ll nap really good today at school or she’ll go to bed early tonight because she’s actually tired (doubt it). It’s also kind of the best when she’s being so nice and we get to stay up until 1030 watching the Jazz, cheering, clapping, hugging, and crying together. Multiple times I made her jump during her quiet playing because I got loud. Every time she looked at me like, “Uhm, trying to have some peace and quiet over here.” So she gets to see what we feel like all day every day. I’m failing to see the true downside. Teaching discipline? Avoiding chaos? We’re way past that. You can’t discipline a 3yo. She does whatever she wants when she wants and dares us to do something about it. She’ll come around, I’m sure. But for now, just embrace the chaos, I think, is the way to go.”

I remember those nights with my mom.

Maybe Ivy will remember some of these nights with me.

I always hoped I’d have super well-behaved, obedient, and disciplined children. I think, on the toddler scale, Ivy is turning out to be exceptional in those categories. BUT – the idea of a disciplined toddler is like the fantasy of a well organized and controlled tornado – it really doesn’t exist.

I think the occasional late night Jazz game is way more valuable than discipline. I think.

Embrace the chaos.

November 9, 2023