No Coincidences

Category: Uncategorized

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • The Trinity

    The Trinity

    I’m not going to cite a bunch of scriptures supporting my point.  In my experience that does nothing because individual scriptures can be interpreted in a million different ways.  Any scripture I give that seems clear as day to me to show God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three distinct personages is quickly explained away and followed up with another scripture that someone believes shows they are one being. 

    Instead of trying to convince anyone of this doctrine, I more want to give my thoughts on it.  I also want to briefly discuss the importance of this doctrine and why I believe it has been so adamantly fought over throughout the centuries. 

    First, the “they are one” controversy with the many scriptural references is so easy for me to understand.  They are one in intent and purpose, so they are one.  Christ, when praying to His Father said, “let them be one, Father, as you and I are one.” (John 17:21-23)  Why would Christ say this?  Given the doctrine of the trinity, was Christ praying that his apostles would morph together into one super spiritual being?  No, it doesn’t make sense.  What Christ was praying for was literal.  “Let them be one, as you and I are one” – in intent, purpose.

    Second, what sense does a unified being make?  I know we are human, and we don’t understand much of anything about the true nature of Heaven, of eternity, of what is next.  I have faith in a lot, but I understand little.  Maybe the next life is filled with multiple personality Gods and beings that I’m meant to worship.  Maybe God can split into three personages.  Maybe He did this to make us understand some deep, important principle.  Maybe?  Or maybe every person who counseled over this principle (the famous Nicene Creed) and ultimately came to a decision we follow hundreds of years later didn’t understand.  God isn’t setting out to confuse us.  He doesn’t want us to NOT comprehend Him.  He wants us to know how much He loves us.  He wants us to know He SENT His only begotten son, who also loves us.  He wants us to know the Holy Spirit can be a constant companion to us.  He doesn’t want to confuse us.  He isn’t throwing out stumbling blocks all along the way to make things more difficult.  This life isn’t intended to be a maze of confusion that we may be lucky to determine what God wants us to know.  He wants us to seek Him and to seek truth.  He WANTS us to understand.  God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are three separate, distinct beings.  I don’t know this (yet), but I have faith and hope that it’s true.

    The Godhead: One In Purpose – ToGather Saints

    Joseph Smith saw them.  That’s why that moment was so significant.  They didn’t speak to Him from the clouds.  They appeared in their bodies.  To show him, “you are like us, and we are like you.”  They have bodies of flesh and blood.  Christ really came here, His Father’s Son, to attain a body and die for us.  That principle is pure and beautiful.

    Have you ever wondered why Christ ate fish and bread with the apostles after his resurrection?  Why was that account included in the scriptures?  The scriptures are full of important information, obviously.  Why was this seemingly unimportant detail included?  Not because Christ was trying to make His apostles comfortable.  It was included because it was important.  Christ was showing that He had a body.  Just as we, when we are resurrected, will be resurrected with our bodies. 

    This brings me to the third point, exactly why this doctrine was fought so hard against for all of history.  Satan is cunning.  Satan knows what is and isn’t important to our salvation.  With the fervor and aggression Satan has fought this doctrine with, it seems obvious to me how important it is.  This doctrine is so important because the corruption of it distances us from our Heavenly Father.  That is Satan’s great purpose.  What greater way to distance us from our Father than corrupting His image into some unknowable, un-understandable, un-comprehendible being?  It is the opposite of what God is.  He knows us, He understands us, He comprehends us, and he wants us to understand Him.  This bizarre trinity He’s been morphed into makes it so hard to communicate with Him.  How do you communicate a triple being you can’t imagine?  Not the same, personal way you can communicate with your own father.  Not the way your loving Heavenly Father wants you to communicate with Him.  A father that sent His only begotten Son to save the rest of His spirit children. 

    I wish I could be more eloquent on this topic.  Of all topics I wish I had a poet’s or philosopher’s eloquence for, this is it.  Because it’s important.  But I’m not a poet or a philosopher.  My words fall short of what I want to portray.  I wish so much that everyone could know Heavenly Father the way I feel and know Him.  He and Christ are so important to me.  Combining them in one takes away one of the most important persons in my life.

    This truth is eternal, and this truth is important. 

    To learn more about the truth of the Godhead, visit here:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/article/do-members-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-believe-in-the-trinity

  • Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Remember last week when I wrote about The greatest moment of my life every day? Yeah, well here’s the dark side of that smile.

    There’s a serious question/joke every new parent has heard at least 100 times.  Are you getting any sleep?

    Why are we asked this question?

    Because it’s a REAL concern.

    Ivy trying to eat my hand when she should be sleeping

    So, for all those wondering, how has our sleep been?  I wrote about the First 48 Hours.  How have the first five months gone? In a blur would be one way to answer.

    I could go on for a while about sleep training and how much work and effort Beth has put in.  This isn’t a mommy blog so I won’t go into all the detail.  I will say Beth has done an awesome job helping Ivy to sleep.  She usually puts her down between 7pm-8pm.  Ivy will sleep until 6:30am-7:00am with at least one wake-up in the middle of the night.  Some of these wakeups just take putting the pacifier back in her mouth.  Sometimes it’s an hour feeding her a bottle and helping her back to sleep.

    Physically restraining a stubborn baby

    Before I provide my spiritual thought on this, I will stress two points:

    1. Ivy is pretty good overall with her sleeping.  We are blessed.  Beth reminds me of this.  While I have no frame of reference, Beth is in touch with all the mommy’s of the world and knows that babies don’t always sleep the way Ivy does.
    2. Beth does the heavy lifting most nights as I work in the morning.

    As I proceed with my thoughts on getting sleep with a newborn, please refer back to points 1 and 2 often.  Every time you’re thinking, “well Beth is doing all the work, of course you (enter your feelings about my thoughts)…” or “of course it’s not that bad, not all babies sleep like yours has!”  Please refer back to those points.  I am aware of how blessed we’ve been in point one, and I’ve been in point two.

    That said.  My thoughts.

    It hasn’t been that bad.  There.  I said it.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD.  I’ll say this, I think lack of sleep isn’t as bad as interrupted sleep.  There’s something about having to get up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, even if it’s quick and you can go back to sleep.  That’s what made the first couple months so difficult. 

    I recently heard another father describe the newborn sleeping phase as something like advanced sleep deprivation training for the military.  As he said that, I thought, “huh, I don’t think it was THAT bad” (see point 1!).

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth, I made some big changes to everyday habits of mine.  For one, I’ve cut out sugary drinks completely.  For those who know me, that included Hawaiian Punch or soda with lunch and dinner.  That’s A LOT of sugar.  I cut out the juice and soda about 18 months ago.

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth I read a book that led to two other changes.  I started doing a breathing exercise once or twice a day.  According to this book it’s the single most important thing anyone could do to immediately improve their health.  The other thing this book prompted me to start doing was change my breakfast habits.  I’ve always had breakfast every day no matter what. My breakfast every morning is usually cereal and milk.  My cereal is most often not of the healthy variety.  Berry Colossal Crunch (Cap’n Crunch knockoff) and Cinnamon Toasters (Cinnamon Toast Crunch knockoff) are still in my kitchen from our last order before I changed this habit.  Instead of artificial sugar for breakfast, I’ve transitioned to fruit every morning.  Usually grapefruit and blueberries, apples, oranges, or bananas.

    For those keeping score, I’ve cut out Hawaiin Punch, soda, and cereal in the form of straight sugar.

    For those of you wondering if I still eat candy.  Emphatic YES.  Maybe one day this can be cut down in my life.  We’re not there yet.

    As I pondered on the past 5 months, and the difficulty, something occurred to me.  Like I said above, I don’t think it’s been that bad.  Difficult, not debilitating.  As I thought about this, I thought about a scripture.

    Mosiah 24:14-15 reads:

    And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

    And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

    I think this is the most I’ve ever related to this scripture.  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like for burdens to be made light.  The lack of sleep should be killing me.  I have to be on-call every few weeks for work.  A call at 3 in the morning that would take 2 minutes used to infuriate me.  It would ruin my night and the whole next day.  Now a 3am-4am feeding session is a pretty regular occurrence.

    What explains that I haven’t gone into a fit of rage?  For one, I love Ivy passionately. That helps.  But I can’t help but feel like my burdens have been made light.  Heavenly Father knows my prayers have picked up, needing this assistance.

    I’ve wondered how the change in my eating habits has helped my energy.  Does God miraculously give us more energy and uplift us?  He can, of course.  I believe more often He would like to help us by allowing us to help ourselves.  I believe these new habits were inspired and I was guided to them.  I believe it has lightened my burdens, and God continues to lighten my burdens.

    I’m still working on the cheerfully and patient parts.  That I could always improve on.  But I am grateful for God and His help these first few months.  I’ve felt His presence and assistance every day.

    In the end, all the lack of sleep in the world is worth that smile.

  • The greatest moment of my life every day

    The greatest moment of my life every day

    The greatest moment of my life happens every morning.  By that I mean, almost every day I have a new moment that is the new best moment of my entire life.  It’s awesome. 

    I start work early every morning.  I’m already up and working (hopefully) when Ivy starts to wake up.  Beth has the monitor by the bed, so I can hear when Ivy starts to stir.

    When I see Ivy in the morning, her face is the most pure form of joy I’ve ever seen.  In turn, that brings me the most joy I’ve ever experienced.  Seeing her light up and grin ear to ear and be SO happy, it’s indescribable.

    I can imagine her thinking, “Oh, you’re still here!  This is amazing!  You’re still my dad!  I’m so glad to see you!”

    That’s what her smile says to me.

    This parenting thing is super hard.  It’s beyond exhausting (more to come on that in the next post).  There’s a lot of stress and pressure.  The life of a tiny human is in our hands, after all.

    But that moment where Ivy smiles at me in the morning, makes this, without question, the best experience of life.

  • The Last Juror

    The Last Juror

    The Last Juror was written by John Grisham in 2004. It is his 18th novel written. I read a lot of nonfiction so a break into a fictional story is always a breath of fresh of air.  But diving into a book from an experienced novelist like Grisham is particularly refreshing.

    This is the first novel from Grisham based in Ford County, Mississippi since his first novel ever written, A Time to Kill which was published in 1989.

    I enjoyed this book a lot and finished the 355 pages in a handful of sittings.  It’s one of those books where it’s difficult to stop because at every stopping point there’s some sort of cliffhanger that keeps you reading.  You expect something like that from such a great writer. It’s amazing to read a Stephen King or John Grisham and spend half the time enjoying the book and the other half marveling at their literary capabilities.

    The plot of the story is an interesting one.  It is based around a 23-year old college dropout that purchases a failing newspaper and the story that goes with his maturation as a small business owner and only provider of news in a small town.  I wonder if the name “John Grisham” weren’t attached to this book if a publisher would ever give it a second glance.  The plot doesn’t scream thriller, but when you’re a talented writer anything can become an entertaining journey. A name goes a long way when you’ve shown the sort of success Grisham has shown.

    Like I said, I enjoyed the story.  It kept me engaged.  I was interested.  I never felt bored or dragged along.  I was always interested in what was going to come next.  That said, I don’ think everyone would enjoy this book.  I could easily see most readers becoming bored with the story.  Some readers may feel the story is particularly slow through stretches in the middle.  With reading so much nonfiction, I’ve become so used to reading through slow or dry parts of books.  It’s hard to say if this is truly a page-turning fiction or if my perception has been skewed. 

    If someone is going to read one book a year, find another more acclaimed book.  There are so many phenomenal books out there, options are endless.  If anything, read Grisham’s first couple books. I haven’t read his first books (yet), but I imagine they are great given how many novels and movies have followed.

    I wouldn’t read this book a second time but I’m glad I read it once.  It was an interesting and engaging story to me.  I look forward to reading some of Grisham’s earlier novels as time goes by.

    After writing this my curiosity took me to the internet to see how others felt about this book.  Obviously, feelings about a book will vary wildly depending on the source, but what I found is this novel is generally well received.  Of the 3 dozen or so novels Grisham has written this is often rated as one of his better books. 

    Maybe my fiction-good-book-radar isn’t as messed up as I thought it was.