No Coincidences

Tag: beautiful

  • Beauty

    Beauty

    What is beauty to a boy?

    As a boy growing up, the idea of beauty evolves so rapidly.

    As a toddler, anything that can be put in your mouth is beautiful.

    As you begin to walk, a ball becomes the epitome of beauty.

    As you get older, you appreciate the beauty of the world around you: mountains, snow, that very climbable tree.

    You start to appreciate animals for their beauty: your dog’s soft fur, the majestic power of horses, the effortless flight of birds.

    And inevitably, as you get older (the timing is different for every one of us), one day a girl catches your eye. It’s a new feeling of appreciation. Have girls always been this…pretty? I actually remember that particular moment in third grade. I still remember her name. I still remember thinking for the first time: this is beauty.

    And you continue to grow.

    Now you’re in fifth grade, you might get your first crush. And it’s all giddy excitement.

    Sixth grade, it’s still fun and interesting—this beauty that girls hold. You’re fascinated by it. For some of us, it becomes all we can think about.

    Now you enter high school. And many start to broaden their thinking. You still appreciate the beauty you did as a kid—in that delicious snow cone, the sound of a basketball bouncing, the unique beauty of a fish dangling on a line, the forests, the sky…

    But all of these things pale when compared to the beauty of the female sex. And you start to believe that they are a species of their own. You long to understand them.

    The world has long tried to shape, mold, and distort your view of what true beauty is. As you go through high school and grow, girls become a central theme.

    And then one day, in high school or after (again, the timing is different for everyone), you see someone — and you realize there is more. Not only is this person beautiful—you can see that immediately—but there’s more. You notice grace, you see confidence (or lack thereof- both are beautiful). You notice demeanor, kindness, a way of speaking. A way of being.

    This is someone you want to be around.

    And if you’re lucky, that person wants to be around you too. And now this person is light, air, and sustenance. Being around them energizes you. You realize: this is beauty.

    And then you get married.

    You notice there are blemishes. They do things that annoy you. They have habits you don’t understand. Somehow, your mind doesn’t reject them. Because, like the distant and jagged edges of a mountain, you know the imperfection of this person adds to their character and to their beauty.

    One day, it all changes again.

    She starts to grow around her belly. Everything the world has tried to convince you isn’t attractive starts to happen. You realize you never knew what beauty was. She literally glows.

    She grows, and she glows.

    And then your world is flipped upside down. Because you see a miracle happen before your eyes. The beauty! After that moment, you can never look at this being you’ve started a life with the same. You will never go back. You realize you have been in the presence of a Goddess—not in the cliché way we use that word nowadays, but an actual being sent with miraculous powers from a place above.

    The life she bore and created grows. And you look at this little life, and you look at the woman who brought it to you, and you try to wrap your mind around this beauty.

    The craziest part is, from this moment on, the woman—your wife—often feels her least “attractive.”

    And you look at her, and you realize there has never been anything more majestic, more miraculous, more beautiful than this person.

    This once girlfriend. This once fiancée. This wife. This mother. This person.

    She thinks the miracle she has borne has subtracted from her beauty, because the world often tells her it has. That she has lost her once great power.

    This couldn’t be farther from the truth. You want to know the truth?

    This person is the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

    This person is beauty.

  • The Trinity

    The Trinity

    I’m not going to cite a bunch of scriptures supporting my point.  In my experience that does nothing because individual scriptures can be interpreted in a million different ways.  Any scripture I give that seems clear as day to me to show God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three distinct personages is quickly explained away and followed up with another scripture that someone believes shows they are one being. 

    Instead of trying to convince anyone of this doctrine, I more want to give my thoughts on it.  I also want to briefly discuss the importance of this doctrine and why I believe it has been so adamantly fought over throughout the centuries. 

    First, the “they are one” controversy with the many scriptural references is so easy for me to understand.  They are one in intent and purpose, so they are one.  Christ, when praying to His Father said, “let them be one, Father, as you and I are one.” (John 17:21-23)  Why would Christ say this?  Given the doctrine of the trinity, was Christ praying that his apostles would morph together into one super spiritual being?  No, it doesn’t make sense.  What Christ was praying for was literal.  “Let them be one, as you and I are one” – in intent, purpose.

    Second, what sense does a unified being make?  I know we are human, and we don’t understand much of anything about the true nature of Heaven, of eternity, of what is next.  I have faith in a lot, but I understand little.  Maybe the next life is filled with multiple personality Gods and beings that I’m meant to worship.  Maybe God can split into three personages.  Maybe He did this to make us understand some deep, important principle.  Maybe?  Or maybe every person who counseled over this principle (the famous Nicene Creed) and ultimately came to a decision we follow hundreds of years later didn’t understand.  God isn’t setting out to confuse us.  He doesn’t want us to NOT comprehend Him.  He wants us to know how much He loves us.  He wants us to know He SENT His only begotten son, who also loves us.  He wants us to know the Holy Spirit can be a constant companion to us.  He doesn’t want to confuse us.  He isn’t throwing out stumbling blocks all along the way to make things more difficult.  This life isn’t intended to be a maze of confusion that we may be lucky to determine what God wants us to know.  He wants us to seek Him and to seek truth.  He WANTS us to understand.  God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are three separate, distinct beings.  I don’t know this (yet), but I have faith and hope that it’s true.

    The Godhead: One In Purpose – ToGather Saints

    Joseph Smith saw them.  That’s why that moment was so significant.  They didn’t speak to Him from the clouds.  They appeared in their bodies.  To show him, “you are like us, and we are like you.”  They have bodies of flesh and blood.  Christ really came here, His Father’s Son, to attain a body and die for us.  That principle is pure and beautiful.

    Have you ever wondered why Christ ate fish and bread with the apostles after his resurrection?  Why was that account included in the scriptures?  The scriptures are full of important information, obviously.  Why was this seemingly unimportant detail included?  Not because Christ was trying to make His apostles comfortable.  It was included because it was important.  Christ was showing that He had a body.  Just as we, when we are resurrected, will be resurrected with our bodies. 

    This brings me to the third point, exactly why this doctrine was fought so hard against for all of history.  Satan is cunning.  Satan knows what is and isn’t important to our salvation.  With the fervor and aggression Satan has fought this doctrine with, it seems obvious to me how important it is.  This doctrine is so important because the corruption of it distances us from our Heavenly Father.  That is Satan’s great purpose.  What greater way to distance us from our Father than corrupting His image into some unknowable, un-understandable, un-comprehendible being?  It is the opposite of what God is.  He knows us, He understands us, He comprehends us, and he wants us to understand Him.  This bizarre trinity He’s been morphed into makes it so hard to communicate with Him.  How do you communicate a triple being you can’t imagine?  Not the same, personal way you can communicate with your own father.  Not the way your loving Heavenly Father wants you to communicate with Him.  A father that sent His only begotten Son to save the rest of His spirit children. 

    I wish I could be more eloquent on this topic.  Of all topics I wish I had a poet’s or philosopher’s eloquence for, this is it.  Because it’s important.  But I’m not a poet or a philosopher.  My words fall short of what I want to portray.  I wish so much that everyone could know Heavenly Father the way I feel and know Him.  He and Christ are so important to me.  Combining them in one takes away one of the most important persons in my life.

    This truth is eternal, and this truth is important. 

    To learn more about the truth of the Godhead, visit here:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/article/do-members-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-believe-in-the-trinity

  • Ivy James Quackenbush 12/4/20

    Ivy James Quackenbush 12/4/20

    Ivy came today. I’m writing this in a bit of a haze. I keep getting told to get used to it.

    Beth started having contractions around 2AM this morning. Apparently I asked her if she was OK around 2:30AM. Don’t have a complete recollection of that.

    Around 5AM her water broke. We were at the hospital around 6AM. Beth got checked in and I believe was around 3.5cm.

    At 6:30AM I received a text from my father-in-law (shout out Keith Cannon), “Of course we’re praying for Beth and Ivy. But also for you. I hope you stay conscious. Good luck.”

    Between 6AM and 8:30AM things moved very quickly.

    At 7:57AM I texted my mom and told her Beth seemed to be in so much pain. They wanted her to finish some pitocin.

    I think it was 8:30AM when they came back in and kind of freaked out. Beth was in excruciating pain and at about 9cm. 10cm (I learned) is what is needed to start delivery.

    I started getting our stuff together while they quickly wheeled her to the delivery room. When I came out into the hallway they were gone. I started wandering and came upon a man in scrubs. I asked him if someone came this way and he asked who. I told him he would have known if they did. I walked down the other hall and came up to a nurse. She asked what I was looking for and I said, “the screaming.” She led me to the delivery room.

    I texted my mom from the delivery room at 9:07am, “Close.”

    They finally got the epidural in at that time which made things drastically better. Beth improved immediately.

    From 9:07AM to 9:23AM Beth went from writhing, screaming, and crying in pain to texting my mom. “Epidural has kicked in and I’m 10cm. I’ll probably deliver in an hour or so. They were shocked how fast I was moving.”

    I’ve heard over and over about this thing that happens when becoming a father. I can’t emphasize it enough. I can’t say it with adequate enthusiasm or exaggeration.

    When I first saw Ivy James Quackenbush my heart expanded, my world flipped upside down. In an instant I realized I would do anything, I would give my life without a second thought and at a moment’s notice for that beautiful soul. She was perfect, so beautiful.

    I wish I could put it into words, but they’re not enough. My life as I knew it was over. And I knew it. This little thing was the new center. The center of my universe- along with Beth.

    Watching what Beth went through, so much pain, to bring this life into the world. I instantly had something open up inside of me. Appreciation for my mother. ‘She went through this for me?!?!’ Love and awe at the strength of my wife and all women. How can a man walk out on a wife after seeing her bring the most important thing in the world, into the world? I thought of so many mothers – Eve, Mary, my mom, my wife. My Ivy.

    How can women be treated the way they are in the world when they are the entire world? They’re why we’re all here.

    I loved these two in a way I didn’t know was possible.

    I couldn’t stop staring at Ivy. The gravitational pull of the universe had changed.

    Beth held her and she screamed. Let the record show I cut the cord. She screamed and it was simultaneously the most fascinating and most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I didn’t know a scream could be so powerful.

    I put my finger out and Ivy grabbed. She stopped screaming. The nurses started to take her for measurements and she wouldn’t let go of my finger. My heart!

    I followed her. The thoughts I hadn’t let start because her coming had always been surreal started to flood my mind: I’m going to play basketball with her. I hope she loves basketball. We’ll play together. We’ll be best friends. I hope I never hurt her. I hope I can always protect her.

    How does Heavenly Father love me? I’m a little closer to understanding today. I’m a little closer to understanding what true love is.

    Ivy James Quackenbush and Elisabeth Brooke Quackenbush. My family.

    7lb 3oz 21in 10:59am. Perfect.
  • The Social Dilemma (Netflix)

    The Social Dilemma (Netflix)

    What is truth?

    How do we know?

    If you haven’t watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix, watch it as soon as possible.  Could end up being the most important documentary of our generation.  Given that we are the generation of documentaries, that would make it the most important documentary ever.

    Why is this documentary important?  Because it’s real and it’s happening now. 

    What will be the downfall of America?  Have we given Civil War enough consideration?

    Let’s do a quick thought experiment.  What happens if Donald Trump wins the election this November?  There will be 165 million mad people.  Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

    What happens if Joe Biden wins the election in November?  There will be 165 million mad people.  Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

    Of course, 165 million people is an exaggeration because not everybody is this passionate, or angry, or inflamed about the upcoming election.

    Let’s call the number 30 million on each side.  Sound much better?

    Why is this happening?  Why are people always so angry?

    There is an increasing gap between what we would deem the “center.”  Center of anything.  Not overly passionate about one side or the other.  I’m not just talking about politics.  I’m talking about anything.  The middle is gone.  The “hear the other side,” “hear them out,” “hear their opinions,” are disappearing.  We’re turning into a world of people who think we know everything while not knowing anything.

    So much from The Social Dilemma gave me an intense feeling of anxiety.  One statistic mentioned was that a study showed lies are spread on the internet/social media 6 times more quickly than truths.  What happens if a lie always has a 6x head start on the truth?  What happens is what we’re seeing happen.  Contention.  Hatred.  Vitriol.  Anger.  Confusion.  Aggression.  Fighting.

    This brings me to the most important point.

    What is truth?

    Can we even know what truth is?

    Truth is a concept society is starting to wonder exists.  How do we find something our society is starting to believe is a myth?

    This is where I turn off all my non-religious friends, but I would ask my non-religious friends:  What is your truth?  What do you turn to when everything around you is chaos, and confusion, and darkness?

    I don’t say this to spread the divide more.  I say this to invite others to find truth and make that truth love-based at all costs. 

    I love God because He loved me first.

    What is truth?

    God is truth. 

    He’s my truth.  Maybe He isn’t yours.  But you must find a truth to hold to dearly.  This truth must be centered on love.  We’ve seen what hate-filled “truth” results in.

    How do we survive in an age of disinformation?

    What do we do to protect ourselves?

    I think first we follow all the suggestions given during the credits of The Social Dilemma documentary.  I will list those here and then add my own suggestions.

    1. Uninstall apps from your phone that waste your time.
      • Hint: most of them.
    2. Turn off notifications.  Especially for anything that vibrates your leg that doesn’t provide an immediate and important alert you need to see at that moment.
    3. Use a search engines besides Google.
    4. Never watch a video recommended to you anywhere:  Facebook, Youtube, etc.  If it’s not something you went there to search for and to watch, just don’t watch it.
      • Wayyyyy easier said than done (but let’s all try!)
    5. Use a Chrome extension to remove recommendations.  Below are some options.
    6. Before you share anything online, fact check, consider the source, do the extra research (make sure it is GOOD).
      • If it looks like it’s designed to push your emotional buttons, it probably is.  Don’t share it.
    7. You vote with your clicks.  If you click on clickbate you’re perpetuating the problem.  Reward GOOD material.
    8. Get different kinds of information.
      • If you are on Twitter, add people who have different opinions from you.
      • Talk to people in the real world about real issues.
      • When you find enough people in the real world to talk to, delete your Twitter.
    9. Delete the social media accounts you really don’t need, that you don’t feel are healthy, that are taking you away from life.  Delete it and embrace the freedom!
    10. Get out of the system.
    11. The World is beautiful.  Live.

    For Families:

    1. Don’t give devices to your children.  Don’t allow them on social media.  Just don’t.
    2. Minimal screen time.
      • Set a limit and stick to it.  It was suggested to ask your child what they think is a good amount of time to spend looking at a screen each day.  Your child will often give a reasonable response.
      • Create that limit and then give rewards for going under it.  Set a 7 hour per week limit for screen time and your child spent 6 hours?  1-hour reward is a bowling trip or mini golf outing.  I used to love incentives like these as a kid.  I hope kids still do.
    3. No devices in the bedroom a set amount of time before bedtime. This will also help with sleep because you’re removing blue light which signals to your brain that it’s time to wind down.
      • Here’s a suggestion – read a book instead of your phone!
    4. Treat Social Media how Latter-day Saints treat dating – not before 16.

    Here are my suggestions.  If you can- delete it all.  Just do it.  I can almost promise you’ll feel better within a couple weeks, after the withdrawals stop.

    Me personally, I have a Facebook.  I use it so I can share my blog.  It’s good to have.  I see the use.  I’m working on limiting my scrolling down my timeline to zero and especially not watching suggested videos in my feed.  Suggested videos inevitably lead me to watching video after video of garbage material.

    Another thing that has helped me a ton has been moving the Facebook app from my main page.  I have it on page two.  That way I’m not constantly slapped in the face by that addictive, dopamine-igniting red alert symbol.  I have my Gospel Library on my home screen and if I find myself instinctively (or robotically) looking at my phone I do my best to open the scriptures and read those instead. 

    I understand all these things are easier said than done.  It’s not easy to delete social media.  It’s not easy, I get it.  I’m right there with you.  Technology is so good.  It can be used for so much good.  Why don’t we start using it for good again? 

    That brings me to my last point.

    My final and most important point.  What can we do to make a difference:  Share GOOD stuff. 

    Emphasis on GOOD MATERIAL.

    By good material I don’t mean you like it, or it tickled your fancy.  I mean it is GOOD.  It is wholesome.  It is kind.  It doesn’t make you explosively emotional but makes you feel gentle in your emotions. I mean good as in the good guided by the spirit.  I mean good as in loving.  I mean good as in spreading positivity. 

    I’m guilty like everyone else.  I see a post from the Church, and I scroll right through.  The AI (artificial intelligence) involved sees that (how scary is that?!).  They know I scrolled quickly past something GOOD.  We each need to make a conscious effort to spend time on the good stuff.  Read the good stuff.  Watch the good stuff.  If you don’t have good stuff on your Facebook timeline, use AI for good!  Go to google and search for Jesus Christ, the scriptures, conference talks, missionary messages.  You know how when you search for that cute new jacket for winter and there are suddenly cute winter jackets on your timeline?  Works the same way for good stuff.  Search for good stuff.  You’ll see more good stuff.  Spend more time with the good stuff. 

    This is how we can combat and fight the echo chamber of hatred.  This is how we remove political polarization.  This is how we remove lies.

    In the steps above I mentioned fact-checking what you share.  How about this? Spiritually check what you share.  Stop.  Say a prayer.  Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is spreading goodness, positivity, or love. If not, it can be deleted.

    I often pray before I write, and I often pray before I share what I write.  I always hope what I write is guided by something bigger and better than me. 

    Spiritually check everything you do online.  Is this making me a better person?  No.  Get it out of here.  Could this make someone’s day, bring a smile, alter someone for the better – SHARE IT. 

    This is what we can do.  This is how we can make a difference.

    I don’t ever say like and share on my blog posts because it’s become such a stupid thing to say.  But we need to say it for the things that deserve it.  Maybe we should change it to “LIKE AND SHARE GOODNESS.”

    So, if you think this was worth reading, did something positive for you, or helped you in any way, please share it.

    We can all do our part by sharing goodness.

    You can join the discussion and learn more about the Social Dilemma documentary at TheSocialDilemma.com

    I think this is important and I think it should be something we all start thinking about.  Let’s start thinking about it.  Let’s start doing our part.