No Coincidences

Tag: blessed

  • Possessions in America

    Possessions in America

    *Note – I wrote this in 2021 when video games hadn’t yet become a completely abstract concept.

    When my roommate moved out after living together for 10 years, he left his Wii, controllers, games, fit board, all of it. Not an exorbitant amount of value in the gaming device and equipment. Maybe a couple hundred bucks.

    I’ve since lent that to my family-in-law partly so I can play it when I’m there. I have other gaming consoles at home I can play so it’s nice to have one there to use.

    I believe this is a difference between America and most of the rest of the world.

    We have such an excess of stuff that when we move out, we just leave it.

    We have such of excess of stuff that we leave it at other family’s houses so we can use it while we’re there.

    Most of the rest of the world would sell the console, games, and equipment for a couple hundred dollars which could make a big difference. Here in America, our land of plenty, it’s not worth the hassle.

    I’m not saying this to disparage America. I’m not saying this as an all-encompassing fact either – that because you live in America a couple hundred bucks doesn’t matter.

    What I’m saying is, we should remember how blessed we are. If you have any doubt about your blessed status consider the screen you’re reading this from, the comfortable thing you’re sitting or laying on, your air conditioning, and all the comforts that surround you.

    Christmas just passed and amidst family, and big meals, and presents, and all the excess we have, I hope we don’t forget how lucky we are.

    Let us not take for granted all we have and all we’ve been given.

  • Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    I recently shared Beth’s amazing talk given on the natural man being an enemy to God. That can be read by clicking HERE.

    The following week I was asked to give a talk on the topic, “how can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?” I thought I’d share that as well. My written talk was more of an outline, but here were my notes.

    Introduction

    Good morning!

    If you were here last week then you saw my wife already introduce us when she spoke.  For those that weren’t here, I am Brayden Quackenbush.  My wife goes by Beth, and we have a 1-year-old daughter named Ivy.

    Brother Patterson commented after Beth spoke last week, quote “Clearly you, like me, have married up.”  So of course, the Bishopric has asked me to speak today, more likely for you to see that principle of marrying up in action for yourself as opposed to any spiritual enlightenment I am meant to impart.  I hope along with demonstrating the marrying up principle, my talk can also provide some uplifting spiritual content for you today.

    Topic – faith

    The topic I was asked to speak on today is, “How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?”

    Let’s start with the what.  What is faith?

    Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

    Elder Dallin H. Oaks said QUOTE: “‘Faith without works is dead.’ But ‘Works without faith is even deader.’”

    How do we increase our faith?

    Read the scriptures every day.  Pray every day.  Go to church each week.  Serve others.  Go to the temple.

    For those of you that have zoned out – Okay, let’s take a quick pause.  I know I’ve lost most of you.  You’re thinking, great, he started his talk with 5 things I’ve heard 1 MILLION times.  And then you started zoning out.  Come back to me for a second.  I’ll say it again for those who REALLY zoned out.  Come back to me.

    I could go on and on with quotes about what faith is and give ideas you’ve heard over and over and over about how to increase your faith and be exemplary latter-day saints.  In my time back at church, I’ve learned that personal experiences are powerful.  Repetition is good.  There’s a reason we hear the same things over and over.  Read scriptures, pray daily, go to church, attend the temple.  Of course, these things are good and of course these things are important.

    How?

    But HOW do we really show more faith in Jesus Christ in our daily lives.  – This is an interesting question – how?  How is so independent of anyone else’s how. How isn’t a hypothetical.  It’s an action. Faith is a principle of action.  For that reason, I can’t tell YOU how to live with more faith in Jesus Christ.  What I can do is tell you what has helped me.

    It always benefits me to hear of others’ habits, stories, experiences and how they strengthened their faith.  I hope some of my thoughts can help someone here today.

    A little background about me – I spent 7 years of my life, from age 18-25 with zero church activity.  I was about as far from the church as I could be.

    It was wholesome books brought me back. Books that started making me ask the questions – why am I here?  Where am I going?

    The books that most impacted my journey back to church, and influenced my faith in Jesus Christ were Visions of Glory by John Pontius, Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage, and of course, the Book of Mormon.

    To increase our faith, we must know in whom our faith resides.  That is Jesus Christ.  This is the first how I suggest, that helped me.  President Russell M. Nelson has repeatedly implored us to study the life of Jesus Christ, understand His ministry, understand His life, understand Him.  With more of an understanding of Him, more love for Him will naturally develop, and it will become easier to follow Him and act in faith.

    What other how’s have helped me in my daily life?

    I’ve mentioned I want to focus on faith being a principle of action.  If you have faith in Christ, it should move you towards action.

    For me, after knowing who my faith resides in, it’s helped to be conscious of what I want to accomplish.  Showing more faith in Christ daily needs to be a conscious goal.

    1. Daily affirmations
      • The cartoonist behind Dilbert, his name is Scott Adams, he talks about a habit he developed in his early 20s.  What he did was, every single day, he wrote 15 times a statement over and over.  For example, “I Scott Adams will become a famous cartoonist.”  This was before he’d ever written a comic.  Most of you have heard of Dilbert.  His second affirmation was “I Scott Adams will write a bestselling book.”  He also accomplished this goal.
      • Write what you want to accomplish in your relationship with Jesus Christ, your family, or your greatest desire.  The act of writing it each day will make it a focus in your life.
      • Examples could be:  I will love others.  I will be a loving father/mother.  I will increase my faith in Jesus Christ.  I will bring others unto Jesus Christ.  I will return to live with my Heavenly Father.
      • This makes this a focus every single day.  How did Scott Adams become a famous cartoonist?  Faith.  Now he wouldn’t say it, but that’s what he did.  He put something out there, he focused on it every single day for years and he made it a reality. 
      • Make your faith a focus in your life.
    2. This leads to another how – focus on your thoughts. 
      • A book I read recently stated that rock is sculpted one chip at a time.  Concrete is poured then molded.  People are formed one thought at a time.
      • I hope the daily affirmations example shows the power in our thoughts.
      • Guard every thought.  Any time a judgmental or unkind thought enters your mind, remove it.  Remove impatience.  Remove anger.  It is possible.  Our thoughts are ours to control.  Once you control the negative thoughts, move to loving thoughts.  Keeping your thoughts focused on God and Jesus Christ as much as possible will help.  
      • Matthew 22:37-39 “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.”
    3. The third thing that has helped me is to study the scriptures with a purpose.
      • I have a close friend who is not a member of this church.  He has read the Book of Mormon multiple times and doesn’t believe it’s divinely inspired.  He believes it was written by a man and not translated by a prophet of God.  I’ve read the Book of Mormon every day for 4 years alongside an online commentary noting every time I find something from Hugh Nibley or some other LDS scholar that can’t be explained by an uneducated farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  The note in my phone now includes well over 100 notes that can’t be explained by an ignorant farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  Each day I’m excited to find another unexplainable feature of the Book of Mormon.  That strategy has worked for me.  But I invite you to think about something that can make you interested and excited to read a little scripture each day.  By the way, if you’re interested in seeing my list of “proofs” I would love to share them.  It strengthens my testimony of this work and of the love Jesus Christ has for us in providing these “proofs” of the divine nature of the Book of Mormon to those who seek them.
    4. A fourth, and to me personally, the most important thing that has helped me with my faith is to feel the atonement of Jesus Christ.
      • Can you feel your love and appreciation for Christ and His gospel?  Really feel it, inside of you.  Feel the emotion of it.  For some, your conversion moment may be so long ago that you haven’t thought about it in a long time.  Remember what it was like to realize this was true.  Think about the comfort it brought you.  Remember the feeling of knowing that Christ died for you, and He allowed you all this.  Family, love, peace, eternity: It’s because of Him.  Close your eyes.  Remember that moment.  Feel that moment.  Do that often.
      • The best time to feel this appreciation for Jesus Christ is during the sacrament, it’s why we partake of the sacrament – to remember Him.
      • You need to feel, truly feel, what Christ has done for you.  I’ve had more of a challenge doing this during the sacrament since my daughter Ivy entered my life.  Sometimes I miss the quiet time of closing my eyes and thinking about what Christ did for me that day 2000 years ago.  But then recently I’ve found an amazing substitute.  During the sacrament I’ve found it extremely beneficial to stare at my daughter.  I think about not only what Christ did for me, but I remember that He gave her to me, He saved her, and He allows her to be mine forever.  If you aren’t brought to the verge of tears every so often when you partake of the sacrament or think about what Christ did for you, you NEED to think about it more.  Focus on it and feel it.
      • We’ll be taking the sacrament in a few minutes.  I invite you to focus on Christ.  Think where you’d be without Him.  Think about what He’s done for you eternally.  Eternal glory, forgiveness, love, peace for ALL eternity. Have you thought about the word eternity?  Forever.  That’s what He’s given you.  Feel it in your heart and thank Him with all your might, mind, and strength.
    5. The fifth important part of my faith has been to repent daily.  There is always something to repent for, no matter how good we think we are, we always fall short, and that’s ok.  Because of Him.

    That concludes my how’s of developing and strengthening faith daily, but I hope you can search out your own.

    Why?

    The last thing I’d like to talk about is the why.  Why do we need to develop more faith?  Why does our faith matter?

    When this work truly touches your heart, what do you do?

    In a book called Faith in the Service of about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the armed forces, a U.S. Air Force Chaplain gave the simple quote: “I am a convert to the gospel, and I am indebted to the missionaries who saved me spiritually.”

    Do you consider your membership of this church being spiritually saved?

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland when speaking of the Apostle John’s great desire to remain on the earth said:

    “The Apostle John asked the Lord if he, John, might remain on the earth beyond the normal span of life for no other purpose than to bring more souls unto God.  In granting that wish, the Savior said that this was ‘a greater work’ and a nobler ‘desire’ even than that of desiring to come into the presence of the Lord ‘speedily.’”

    From the book Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, “Like all prophets and apostles, the Prophet Joseph Smith understood the deep meaning of John’s request when he said, ‘After all that has been said, [our] greatest and most important duty is to preach the Gospel.’”

    I’ll ask again the question; do you consider your membership to this church as being spiritually and eternally saved?  You have been saved by Christ.  Then save others.  If you saw someone on the roadside bruised and bleeding, would you help them?  And yet we’re surrounded by masses of people missing what we have.  They’re not physically bruised and bleeding. Worse, they’re spiritually bruised and bleeding.  Reach out, share your faith, love, serve, share a Book of Mormon, have a real conversation, invite to church, invite to an activity.  Many people don’t want to be saved because they don’t know they’re drowning.  That’s fine.  You still cast out a life jacket.  The world is lonely, the world is sad, the world is divisive, the world is angry, the world is hurt.  And we have Jesus Christ in our lives.  To whom much is given much is expected.  And we, us, you, here in this room, you have been given as much or more than most individuals in all of human history.  Think about that for a moment.  Billions and billions of God’s children and you live now, in Arizona, in the United States, in a free country, with the saving ordinances of Jesus Christ in your life. You live with a knowledge of God as your father, you live in the dispensation of all times, the fullness, You are peaceful, you are happy. Many of us are prosperous spiritually as well as physically.  And more important than all the physical benefits of our existence – you know where you come from, why you’re here, and where you’re going.  To whom much is given.  Has anyone ever been so blessed as us in this room?

    When we feel how truly blessed we are, when this gospel and the love of Jesus Christ touches your heart, what do you do next?  You share it.

    Don’t be discouraged by the world we live in today.  Even Christ was rejected by many.  Many are called and few are chosen could also apply to the masses that don’t want to come unto Christ.  It is still our sacred duty and loving responsibility to share it.

    I hope that we can strengthen our faith in Christ through righteous habits.  Make it a conscious decision.  Guard our thoughts.  Study with purpose.  Feel the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Repent daily.  These have helped me.  I hope we all can find our own ways to show more faith in Jesus Christ.  And when we do, and our faith is strengthened, strengthen others.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • What to do with all the Love

    What to do with all the Love

    I was meditating and thanking God for all He has given me in this life.  It was the day after Thanksgiving.  I had just watched Ivy with so much love around her, as detailed in Love has Afforded Me Much.  Ivy was surrounded by aunts, uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins, second cousins, great uncles, great aunts and the list goes on.  She was receiving so much love.

    That visual again brought me to realizing and remembering that was me 30 years ago.  I was the one having love poured out on me.  It brought me to a repeated thought: what did I do to deserve this?

    What did I do to deserve the family I was born into?  Now, how lucky I am to be one half of the uniting of two families – the Quackenbushes and the Cannons.  How blessed will Ivy be from a life of love from those two extended families she’s been born into? 

    How blessed have I been from being born into the Leaches and the Quackenbushes? An un-quantifiable amount of blessed.

    Where does that blessing come from?  Where does it stem from?  What was the catalyst of this blessed, love-filled life I’ve been given?  The catalyst, the starting point, is the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Three of my four grandparents converted to the church.  My fourth grandparent came from a faithful family back to the days of Joseph Smith.  I am forever grateful for my grandparents and the generations of love and family they’ve created.

    A similar story can be said from Beth’s side of the family, the Cannons and Vauterlauses.

    The thought that occurred to me while meditating, to add to how Love has Afforded me Much, was this: I started to pray to God to please bless all those who didn’t have all the love Ivy had on Thanksgiving Day.  All those who don’t have great family dynamics, who feel lonely, who feel lost, who feel afraid; I asked God to let them feel His love.  I asked Him to spare no angels in pouring out blessings on those who don’t feel loved in this world.

    Then it occurred to me.  Love has Afforded me Much.  God has given me a surplus of love.  A love I can’t quantify.  It’s my responsibility to share that excess of love I’ve been blessed with, with God’s children, my brothers and sisters across the globe.  I pray that I can share the love that’s been given to me with those around me.

    I believe the greatest thing I can do to share that love, the greatest thing any one of us can do that have been given (Luke 12:48) so (D&C 82:3) much (Boyd K. Packer), is to share the source of that love.  The source of that love is Jesus Christ, His Gospel, His Church.  It is our responsibility to share with others what has blessed us so.

    Love is important.  Supporting someone, listening to someone, loving someone, these are all noble.  But what of generational love?  What of the love that permeates through families – of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren?  That’s what my grandparents created.  That love started with missionaries sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with three of my grandparents, and with the gospel being shared to one of my Great Great Grandparents by Joseph Smith.

    I am grateful for this Church.  I am grateful for the blessing it has been to me and my family.  I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me this greatest of all blessings.  I feel a noble responsibility, a beautiful weight to share it with others.  My wish is that the world can accept Jesus Christ and experience the love he has to share. 

    I love Jesus Christ, and I am forever grateful to Him. 

  • Love has Afforded Me Much

    Love has Afforded Me Much

    Ivy is the first grandchild on both sides.  Ivy has 13 aunts and uncles.  She has two sets of grandparents who, while around her, make no qualms about her being the princess of the universe and most important thing to ever come to earth. As I watch her with family, I’m blown away by the amount of love.  She is loved so much.  Beth and I love her so much.  See The Greatest Moment of My Life Every Day for further evidence.

    I wonder how much this love positively impacts Ivy’s future.  How much does it impact the person she will become?

    As I watch her, something occurred to me recently.  I was surrounded by this same love growing up.  I wasn’t the first grandchild on either side, but I was surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and grandparents that loved and adored me.  Love was poured out upon me without measure as a baby.  Not only was I loved by those I could see, but I was made to know that God and so many I couldn’t see also loved and cared about me.

    While watching Ivy, it occurred to me how lucky and blessed I was to be surrounded by all that love.

    How much was I positively impacted by the love I was surrounded by?  How much did it shape who I am today?

    Not all children are given this great gift.

    It was a humbling thought.  It’s humbling to consider all that I’ve been given.  If I ever get prideful about any good qualities I may have, I can quickly look at all the attention, direction, and love I’ve been given in my life and realize there is nothing to be prideful of.  I have been afforded much.

    And to whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48, D&C 82:3).

    This used to be a daunting scripture.  Now it is a great responsibility, and a great blessing.

    As I’ve gotten older, I have become more aware of how blessed I was to be raised with the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  That is why I write this blog.  That is why I try to talk to friends, family, coworkers, etc. about the Book of Mormon.  That’s why I share my testimony of Jesus Christ.

    I am grateful for The Family A Proclamation to the World for what is teaches authoritatively and without reservation about the importance of the family unit.  My family unit has blessed my life in so many ways.  I wish every child could be loved like I was, like I still am, like Ivy is.

    God expects me to share the love I’ve been given.  Not in a prideful way, but with a humble recognition of how lucky I truly am.

    The two great commandments are to love and to love.  When you receive love, you must give love.  That’s what God asks from us.

  • RIP Coach

    RIP Coach

    I often think about the people God put around me in my life.  I’m obviously not the center of the universe, but sometimes, when I think about all those who have looked out for me throughout my life, it’s hard not to feel like that.

    There’s an individual in my life who played a critical role at two of the most important junctures in my life.  He was a dear friend, coach, mentor. 

    What’s so funny is, Coach Gonzalez never actually coached me.  Jessie Gonzalez was the athletic director at my high school.  Coach Gonzalez got close with most of the teams he looked over as athletic director.  The basketball program was no exception.

    My senior year at Cimarron we went to a tournament in Hawaii.  Coach Gonzalez came on that trip to “watch” us, or chaperone, I guess.  On that trip, Coach Gonzalez went from Coach Gonzalez to Gonzo, or just Coach.

    Gonzo looked out for me throughout high school.  Many don’t know this now, but I needed a lot of looking out for at that time. 

    I had bonded with Gonzo a bit on the Hawaii trip, but he wasn’t someone I would have considered a close friend or confidant.  That is until I really, really needed someone to talk to.  Then he was there, at the most difficult time of my life.  Somehow, for reasons I won’t understand until I see the bigger picture, Gonzo was the phone call I made.  He helped me through some very difficult things. I look forward to speaking to God, and Him showing me how critical that moment was.  I look forward to seeing why Gonzo was there at that precise moment, and why God made sure I reached out to him.

    We stayed in loose contact as I left high school.

    Gonzo had a few of us he took under his wing and looked out for.  I felt truly blessed to be “one of his boys.”

    After high school, this fascinating thing happened where the roles Gonzo played in my life morphed.  He went from 100% mentor to 50% mentor and 50% friend.  Gonzo was only 11 years older than me.  Not that many years, in the grand scheme. 

    In 2015 I went to a birthday party in Houston.  It was a relative of Gonzo’s and made no sense for me to be there.  It was really just an excuse to go to Houston and see Gonzo, who had moved to Michigan, and I hadn’t seen since high school.  That trip is so memorable.  I’m not going to elaborate any further.  During that trip Gonzo stayed a 50% mentor but also became one of my closest friends, a lifelong friend.

    The second, extremely critical cross roads in my life-  I was trying to return to church.  Who did I turn to?  Who talked me through a year plus of difficulty, repentance, trials, temptations, questions, doubts, uncertainties?  Countless hours were spent on the phone with him.  He was going to see me through.

    Gonzo isn’t a member of my church.  He’s a member of a grander organization.  He’s a brother and an angel that was here to look over me and guide me.  I’m not sure I’d be an active member of my church today without his guidance. That was the power of Coach.  He didn’t need to be a member of my church to help me with something so important.  He only needed to listen, love me, help me.

    Another moment I’ll never forget, I was only a couple months into trying to return into activity in the Church.  Satan was hard at work in those first months.  I could go on and on about what he put before me during those months.

    One of those temptations was a staycation at my favorite place at the time, Talking Sticks Resort.  I was still playing poker.  During this weekend that TSR gave me a free suite to stay in, there was a huge summer pool party.  My room overlooked the pool, of course.

    Imagine me for a moment.  Just a couple months into not drinking.  Here I am at Talking Stick Resort, in a super nice room, overlooking a pool filled with beautiful people and all my temptations.  I was literally in the great and spacious building.  I had alcohol in the fridge.  For those who don’t know this feeling, I can’t describe the pull.  I don’t have words to describe the need to drink alcohol, go to the pool, let myself fully embrace this staycation.

    I had worked so hard.  I was going to church and making good choices.  Surely, I could give myself this one weekend, right?

    I was going to drink and join this party.  There was really no doubt.  As much as I told myself I wouldn’t, I was going to. 

    I can’t remember if I called him.  There’s a chance he called me.  I talked to Coach Gonzo.  In true Jessie fashion, he didn’t tell me not to drink.  He talked me through it.  He told me it was a choice I had to make.  He reminded me how hard I’d worked to return to church and stop drinking.

    Then, almost nonchalantly, as if an afterthought, Coach said the most critical thing.  He said, “You can drink and get wild and crazy, but man, after not drinking for as long as you’ve gone, tomorrow is going to suck.  That hangover is going to be bad.  Hangover aside, how are you going to feel about yourself in the morning?”

    That was all I needed to hear.

    For those wondering, I did join the pool party.  I hung out, walked around.  I didn’t embrace the party.  I owe Jessie, Coach, Gonzo for that.  I may owe him my now 5 years of sobriety.

    Jessie Gonzalez left this stage of his coaching journey 6/8/21.  He had some new people to coach and mentor, and he couldn’t do that here.  I will miss him dearly.  I already wonder who I will turn to when I need to be guided through the next trial.  Part of me thinks he could move on because he already got me to the point where I can take care of myself.  Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t need him anymore. The greater and more comforting truth is that you always need a mentor and friend like Gonzo, and he’s still there for me, more than ever now.

    He was light.  And he was joy.  Nobody brought together a room like him. 

    He protected me from harm while here, both physically and spiritually.

    I thought of something interesting last night.  It hit me that Gonzo likely, just recently, had his life review.  It brought me so much joy to think of him getting to see all the good he had done.  I considered him getting to see every moment he impacted me and how big a role he played in my life.  I thought about the net of goodness and light he spread while he was here.

    It brought a smile to my face to know that he got to see his Savior.  He was embraced, and loved, and free from the difficulties of this world.

    He can coach in purity now, for, a purer heart there never was. 

    I miss him a lot now. Though I can’t hear his voice or see his face, he’ll continue to be with me, coaching from above. I look forward to the reunion.

    I love you Jessie, Coach, Gonzo, and I thank you for all you did for me.