No Coincidences

Tag: callings

  • A Ward Family

    A Ward Family

    When Beth and I got married, we were required to leave our ward or church building we had been attending. That ward was for young single adults (YSA). As we were no longer single and saying goodbye to the days of young, it was time for us to leave.

    That ward held an important place in my heart. It was that ward that helped me come back to Christ. It was the leaders there that helped me re-establish my faith. It was the people there that helped me feel welcome and helped me to stay.

    I didn’t want to leave.

    Beth said we had to.

    After the YSA ward Beth and I joined a family ward that didn’t last long before it was split, boundaries were reset, and we joined another ward.

    We’ve now been in the Chaparral ward for most of our marriage.

    We recently moved so we’re joining a new ward, a new group of people, a new building. It won’t be that different, aside from the people.

    And yet it’s been really hard for me to say goodbye.

    We’re just moving down the street, I’ll still see some of the people from our old ward sometimes. But it won’t be the same.

    I compared it to moving away for college. Moving away for college was really difficult for me. I love my family. I knew when I left for college that everything was changing. I also knew it was something I had to do to grow.

    When I left for college, of course I’d continued to see my family. They’d only be a 5-hour drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every day. I wouldn’t talk to them every day. We wouldn’t be in the same house.

    In the same way, leaving our ward, they’d just be a 15-minute drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every Sunday. I wouldn’t talk to them every week.

    I guess I just don’t like goodbyes.

    It’s difficult saying goodbye to my family every time I leave home.

    And that’s when I realized that the Chaparral Ward in the Scottsdale Arizona North Stake had become my family, and I would miss them.

    My calling in our ward for the last year was Elders Quorum President. Before that I was an Elders Quorum counselor so I’d been in the Elders Quorum Presidency for the Chaparral Ward for a couple years. I had pages and pages of notes. Tons of spreadsheets. Tons of information, and thoughts, and to-dos for and about these people I had come to care a lot about. As I compiled it all into one email for the person taking my place, I realized I wouldn’t need most of this information ever again.

    As I closed 15 browser tabs on my computer that I’d had open for a year, it was like saying goodbye.

    A ward family is unique and special. I will miss those people. I will miss those relationships.

    A little over a year ago the Chaparral ward received a new member. A man was baptized into our ward. Soon after his baptism, he moved to a new area, so he left our ward. But he was still family. He started dating a woman from our ward and they were sealed in the Gilbert temple recently. Beth and I were privileged and blessed to be there.

    Beth and I found a babysitter that very morning, just in time to get to the temple. We were one of the last to arrive and walk into the sacred sealing room. We had only been out of the Chaparral ward a couple weeks. As we walked into the sealing room, we looked around at all familiar faces, all faces from the Chaparral ward. I realized that for this couple getting married, with no local family or family in the church, this was their famliy: Ward Family. Everyone there were members of their church. Everyone there loved them. This is the significance of a ward family. This is the power and the love of a church.

    I guess this is what Christ wants. It’s why His church is important. Over time we spend so much time with these people. We love and we serve. During my time in the Chaparral ward I thought about this group of people so much, sometimes at the expense of my family. Sometimes my family needed me but I was at someone’s new home at 8am Saturday morning helping them move. Often I would be on my phone with someone needing help while my girls crawled over me. The time put into those people I loved so much connected me to them.

    A new Elders Quorum President comes in and the ward will continue with business as usual. All will continue seamlessly. This is the structure of Christ’s church.

    It’s the love of Christ that allows us to serve in these callings. I’m grateful for that calling. It was so hard. I couldn’t believe I only served in that calling for a year because it felt like so much more. That calling stretched my limits and taught me a lot.

    I’m grateful that Christ asks us to serve when we’re so incapable.

    But now I say goodbye and we move on to new opportunities, new people, new chances to serve.

    “To ten million fireflies, I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes

    I got misty eyes as they said farewell.”

    -Owl City

  • Suffering, a Moment, a Breakdown

    Suffering, a Moment, a Breakdown

    I want to share a story that just happened to me.

    I don’t know why it happened. I don’t know what happened. That’s why I’m writing it. Maybe writing it down will help me to understand.

    It’s 1/2/25 at 9:00 in the morning. It’s my first day back at work in something like 2 weeks. I’m driving to a client’s office. I’m listening to a podcast called Y Religion. They’re discussing 50 relics of the restoration; 50 items from the time the gospel of Jesus Christ was being restored.

    They mention a microphone used by Spencer W. Kimball. I love Spencer W. Kimball. He is one of my favorite prophets.

    As I’m writing this, I’m remembering what they talked about before this microphone. What they talked about before this microphone was the original manuscript of Jesus the Christ written by James E. Talmage. They emphasized that the writing of Jesus the Christ, one of the most impactful books of my life, was inspired by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints attempting to re-emphasize its focus on what is most important: Jesus Christ.

    The podcasters said sometimes the culture needs to be reminded of what our most important focus is.

    I wondered if the Church needs that reminder again today.

    I remember thinking that President Russell M. Nelson, a prophet today, is trying.

    They talked about the microphone. Brad Wilcox, the provider of one of my all-time favorite talks/speeches/dissertations (His Grace is Sufficient) started talking about Spencer W. Kimball. He shared a story from when he was on his mission and for the first time would hear a radio broadcast of General Conference. Back in those days, certain countries only got Conference in written word months after Conference completed. Brad Wilcox as a young missionary was disappointed when the radio turned on and he realized it was just a translator. Of course it was a translator. The message needed to be broadcast to this particular area in Spanish.

    Then, he said, Spencer W. Kimball came on the radio with his telltale, well-known scratchy voice. The small group of saints asked Brad, “Who is that????”

    He replied, and as he told the story he choked up, “That is the prophet of God.”

    On the podcast, they then started to discuss the sacrifice that Spencer Kimball went through – losing his vocal cords and continuing to preach, speak regularly, and guide God’s church.

    I thought about that sacrifice.

    What have we gone through?

    Have we lost our vocal cords and then been asked to continue to preach?

    I thought about that sacrifice. I thought about that prophet of God. I thought about that voice.

    And while I was driving in the car, I was crying. I didn’t even know I was crying. I didn’t know why I was crying. I still don’t know why I was crying.

    I started thinking about why I was crying.

    They talked about the kindness of Spencer W. Kimball and how losing his vocal cords made him so gentle, so empathetic to the suffering of others.

    I thought about my current calling as Elders Quorum President.

    I thought about how much I fall short in that calling.

    I thought about telling my quorum that I’m a bad ministering brother. But I try. And asking them, who are also bad ministering brothers, to also try.

    I thought about all the suffering I’ve learned about in our ward since becoming president. I thought about all the loneliness and sickness and illness and suffering and heartache.

    I thought about my daughters.

    I thought about the client I was about to see and some of the personal things he had told me about his family when he invited me to a Suns game once.

    I thought about the suffering of his family.

    I thought about all the suffering my daughters would have to endure in this life.

    And I asked why.

    And I cried harder.

    And I reminded myself of why.

    We know the why. Luckily, I know the why. I’ve written about it here a hundred times.

    And then I pulled up to a light. And I looked directly at a homeless man. And I thought about giving him a dollar. And I wondered if the light was going to change. And I thought about how I didn’t want him to have to limp over to me for a dollar. Then he started to limp over to me. And I let him pass. And I let him walk back by me. And I wondered if he had a drug addiction.

    And I thought about all the suffering in the world.

    And I cried.

    I wrote this. And I still don’t know quite what it means.

    I know the world is going to get a lot harder and there’s going to be a lot of suffering.

    And I’m going to ask why, despite knowing the answer.

    And I realize that sometimes knowing why will make it easier, maybe even help, and sometimes, maybe it won’t.

    And I worry about my daughters.

    And I worry about this world.

    And I worry about all the lost and lonely people.

    And I wonder why.

    And I want Jesus Christ to come back so it can stop. I want to help. But my efforts seem so small and fruitless. I’m a bad ministering brother and a bad Elders Quorum President and I wonder, I can’t possibly be who God needs in this position now.

    And I feel so small.

    And I just want Christ to come back and fix it all.

    But I know before that happens this all has to get a lot harder. It has to get so much harder.

    And I worry.

    And I have faith.

    And I wonder if my faith is enough.

    And I cry.

    So I wipe my eyes and blow my nose, hoping the client can’t tell that I’ve been crying. And I go about my day, always with why in the back of my mind.

  • Why Do I Care?

    Why Do I Care?

    I’ve been thinking recently. Why I care about this?

    This being – the Gospel, the Church of Jesus Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ in general.

    Let’s start with Jesus Christ in general. I feel like I write about this constantly and it’s the constant conclusion to one of my posts, so I’ll be brief here. I care about Jesus Christ in general because He has given me everything. The least I can do in return is share Him, follow Him, try my best to be like Him.

    Let’s go broader. Why do I care about the Gospel and the Church of Jesus Christ? That, I think goes in line with why I care about Jesus Christ Himself. If I care about Him, then I would care about His church, and I’d want to share His gospel. That lines up.

    You’ll notice I distinguished the Church of Jesus Christ with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is what I want to focus on and think about here.

    Why do I care to share that I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Why do I invite people to church? Why do I invite people to activities? Why do I share Book of Mormons? Why do I invite people to meet with the missionaries? Why do I share being a latter-day saint? Why do I talk about it? Why does it matter? Why do I care? Why do I keep doing it with such little success?

    It’s something I think about relatively often. The why?

    How do I stay motivated to write spiritually themed blog posts every week not very many read and fewer still are interested in?

    Why do I keep having gospel discussions with people and trying to convince them that this is the restored Church of Jesus Christ – when everyone I talk to disagrees, or worse, doesn’t care?

    Why do I keep inviting people to church and activities when they never come?

    Why do I keep sharing scriptures and conference talks that no one reads or listens to?

    Why is being a “Mormon” important?

    Hmm.

    Sounds depressing right? Sometimes it’s hard. Being a member missionary is hard. It’s discouraging. It seems like an endlessly fruitless effort.

    And yet I’m not being persecuted or crucified so I have really nothing to complain about compared to saints from earlier times.

    So, I’ve distinguished “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” from “The Church of Jesus Christ” but that’s really the answer to the question of why. I do all these things, no matter how hard or discouraging, because I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Church of Jesus Christ. I believe they are one and the same. I believe this is Christ’s restored church. I believe it is the way back to Him. I believe I was called and sent here to share it. That’s why I do it. That’s why I care.

    I have a friend who converted to this church who once said something I found fascinating. He said, basically, “Whether it’s true or not, I don’t care. This church brings me happiness. It’s made my life better. It’s made me a better person. It’s made me feel closer to God. Is it true? Is it the One True Church? I don’t know. Really, I don’t care.”

    He doesn’t care because for him it’s about his well-being. This church has helped his life and brought him joy. What does he care about the rest of it? While I think in a completely different way, I can appreciate this line of logic, this way of thinking. This person is an extreme pragmatist. So when he said this statement, it told me a lot about him.

    Does what this individual said make him any less of a latter-day saint and disciple of Christ than me? I’ll say, I think it could, but it doesn’t. This person is still one of the most faithful, serving, selfless, Christ-like individuals I know. Ultimately his why doesn’t matter as much as who he is becoming, which is more like Jesus Christ.

    I consider that person’s why somewhat temporal. ‘This church has been good to me and brought me joy, I’m for it.’

    My why is different.

    My question is, what if the church doesn’t bring you joy? What if it makes your life worse? This friend of mine might leave if that were the case. Right now he has no reason to leave.

    Maybe this is why so many leave. They don’t see how the church is benefitting them.

    This friend and I have a mutual friend. The mutual friend is very interested in religion and so we’ve had religious conversations together. After a few discussions, my friend said the mutual friend would never join the church. He said the mutual friend had too much to lose. His family would disown him, his wife would hate him, his whole life would change. It would be too hard. Should that person join the church?

    My friend would say no.

    Again, my why is different.

    I look at that and say, “Is it true?”

    Response from hypothetical person, “Well…”

    “No well, is it true?”

    If it’s true, if God sent a prophet, and that prophet established a church, and it’s Christ’s church – if it’s true – what else matters?

    Is it true?

    I believe it is.

    That’s why it matters. That’s why I care. That’s why it’s so important to me.

    I’ll write more on the temporal vs spiritual benefits of the church another time. But for now, I wanted to share that.

    Is it true?

    Yes.

    Then it matters. It matters more than anything else on this entire earth.