Tag: calm

  • Developing Patience in Turmoil

    Developing Patience in Turmoil

    I gave a talk in church on 6/29/25. Since I put so much time and effort into typing out the thoughts for the talk, I like to put it into a blog post.

    The problem with my talks is I don’t prepare exactly what I’m going to say. I prepare more of an outline and try to “let the spirit guide.” I enjoy this way of speaking.

    On a sidenote, I know I’ve mentioned before my overwhelming fear with public speaking. It has gone from overwhelming to manageable. The last time I spoke in church I decided to wing it and try to speak without any preparation. I only used personal experiences and stories that time speaking but still filled 15 minutes. 6/29/25 was my first time speaking since that time “winging it” a few months ago. I think trying that made the mental fear of speaking in church a lot easier. After going in with no notes or preparation at all it and everything working out fine, surely if I prepare a little it will all work out, right?

    I guess I’m gaining some confidence.

    Anyways, I wanted to share the thoughts I put together from this recent talk.

    The topic I was assigned was “Developing Patience in Turmoil.”

    Beth was speaking ahead of me so I knew my introduction was going to be extra flexible. I had something planned just in case, but I expected to either use something I heard from Beth’s talk or something unplanned. I went with something slightly unplanned. As I’d just walked up from the pews with my girls, removing Ivy from my lap just before walking up, I made a comment about the aptness of my topic given I was brushing fishies and other snacks from my clothes as I walked up. Patience in Turmoil was a good topic for me to consider.

    From here, I’ll just put my notes from my talk, which give a rough feel for what I said that day in church.

    So…  turmoil.

    As I pondered this topic I really focused on that word – turmoil. What a word.

    What is turmoil? What does turmoil look like?

    “Turmoil refers to a state of great commotion, confusion, or disturbance. It can describe a situation marked by uncertainty, agitation, or a lack of order. It can also refer to inner turmoil, which is a state of emotional distress or conflict.”

    As I started thinking about this word, more and more circumstances, thoughts, stories, and examples kept coming to me:

    Me and my girls trying to go to the zoo. Crying, screaming, lost keys, searching.

    Turmoil – church with little ones. The pew we have commandeered in this our new ward has become a place of turmoil from the hour of 9:00am-10:00am every Sunday.

    Turmoil – a 7-hour drive to California with children. Patience.

    Turmoil – an aunt, mentor, and best friend dying of cancer. Patience.

    Turmoil – parents dealing with a daughter struggling at school.

    Turmoil – a good friend who’s 12-year-old daughter is dealing with a serious health issue. He just took her to Colorado for treatment.

    Turmoil – Mayo clinic down the street from us, how many people are dealing with turmoil there right now?

    Turmoil – a 14-year-old girl I coached this season whose father dies of an unexpected heart attack in the middle of a basketball season leaving her and her mother alone.

    Turmoil – Sister Ogle’s talk last week, turmoil in the unknown of church, if we should go, if we belong.

    Turmoil – a teenager that feels like they don’t belong.

    Turmoil – depression, sadness, uncertainty.

    Turmoil – worrying about how you’re going to pay the bills.

    Turmoil – not getting invited to the party.

    Turmoil – missing your best friend.

    Turmoil – a young boy that wants to come back to church but can’t give up all the bad habits he’s developed.

    That last one was me 10 years ago. Some of the others are me now. Some of the others are friends and loved ones of mine. Some of the other examples, I’m guessing, are you, in the audience.

    Turmoil. Turmoil. Turmoil.

    As I prepared for this talk, I really thought about this word. Turmoil. There are an infinite number of ways to experience turmoil. And here’s the thing, because you’re here on this earth, you’re experiencing turmoil. I know you are. I am. We all are. That’s part of this life.

    When I’m preparing a talk, I like to consider the message I can give that might help one person. But with this word, turmoil, there is too much variety, and yet we’re all experiencing it.

    It’s going to get a lot more turbulent in the coming years. We better get used to living in turmoil.

    *Phew. Depressing right? Yeah. I know. I really brought the mood down. Thank you for coming to hear me speak. Have a great Sunday….

    Just kidding. Let’s try to get uplifted.

    Let’s get back to my topic. Another word DEVELOPING.

    I thought about this word a lot too. Developing. How do you develop anything? You have to practice.

    You can only develop patience in turmoil if you’re practicing, meaning, living in turmoil. What an interesting concept. We don’t want to be in turmoil. We are constantly trying to make sure we’re not in turmoil. That means when life throws turmoil at us, we should use it. Don’t waste turmoil. Don’t waste opportunities to grow, and practice, and learn, and be better.

    So we’ve established we’re all living in turmoil, what do we do with it? Let’s get into the happy part of this topic.

    Patience.

    Ultimately patience is a peace around things we can’t control. Patience is trust in God. Patience is an inner calm.

    I have a blog I post spiritual thoughts to weekly. When I received my topic, I opened my computer to start formulating thoughts for this talk. I was reminded of a document I’ve had open on my computer for weeks, a blog post I’ve been working on titled “Was Satan Impatient?” I think it’s fascinating if you read and study Satan’s story in the scriptures closely, I believe there is evidence that he was extremely impatient to come to earth. I don’t think he trusted God’s plan. He thought he knew better, and he wanted to do things his way on his timeline.

    Now we’re not Satan but, sound familiar?

    Patience. Patience. I will use the word peace synonymously with patience. I think peace is patience.

    What can we do to have patience when everything around us is so hard, and we just want it to be better NOW?

    Real life strategies to develop patience:

    Meditation. I meditate for 10 minutes every day, no excuses. This often entails lying flat on the ground while two young girls literally crawl on top of me, slap, and otherwise torment me. Sometimes I get 10 minutes of actual quiet, prayerful, thoughtful, breathing and stretching time. Rarely. I started practicing meditation almost exactly one year ahead of Ivy being born. No coincidences. I think I needed to start that practice to be able to develop the patience I’d need to be a dad.

    Prayer. We have to be praying. Without prayer it is so easy to get quickly wrapped up into our day to day lives. We can be so focused on this earth that we forget where we came from and where we’re going. We should be praying multiple times a day to our Father and talking to Him like He’s our Father. We should be asking Him for help to be able to see the bigger picture and to have the patience we need to endure the trials and challenges we receive in this life.

    Look at the world as a child. LINK Ivy recently started saying in every prayer, “Heavenly Father, thank you for everything we have. And thank you for everything we don’t have.” How often do you thank Heavenly Father for everything you don’t have? I’ve never done that. That is childlike patience. Be grateful for everything Heavenly Father has given you and everything He hasn’t.

    An extremely impactful book I read when coming back to church was Visions of Glory. Something I learned from that book was to see the bigger picture. See that every person and every reaction you have, every pain and challenge is meant to change your very being into being more like God. By being on this earth, you are becoming God-like. This viewpoint, I think, can give us great patience especially when the people around us make life difficult. If you look at those people not as a hindrance but as someone sent here specifically to teach you something, that person becomes an essential and important element of your growth. There is power in this perspective.

    In a similar vein – Another thing we can do is think infinite – think eternal.

    In my personal opinion, the best talk President Nelson has given since becoming the prophet is Let God Prevail. I love this talk.

    How does President Nelson describe her as she is grieving over her father’s approach to death? Miopic. Think about that – President Nelson, the nicest, kindest, gentlest, sweetest soul on this earth. His granddaughter-in-law’s father is dying, and he describes her as miopic or nearsighted. I don’t think there was any malice in those words, just love. In that talk, President Nelson says this,

    “I am very proud of our precious granddaughter-in-law. During this heart-wrenching time in her life, dear Jill is learning to embrace God’s will for her dad, with an eternal perspective for her own life. By choosing to let God prevail, she is finding peace.”

    I will add, she is finding patience in turmoil.

    This is our ultimate strength in our battle to have patience in turmoil. Our greatest strength is to look beyond the troubling moment. Our greatest strength is to look beyond the earthly turmoil.

    I think patience is a Godly virtue. Here is a philosophical quandary for you – if God knows the beginning from the end, can He have patience? If He knows the beginning from the end, it can’t be described as patience, right?

    But here’s the thing, can WE know the beginning from the end…?

    Your immediate gut-reaction answer, I’m sure, like me, is “no.” – we can’t know the beginning from the end.

    Think about it. Can we know the beginning from the end? We can’t know all the details. We’re not omniscient. But do we know the end? We do know the end. We do know Jesus Christ died for us. We do know that ultimately God will prevail. We do know that we will leave this earth and return to a kind, loving, gracious Heavenly Father. We do know everything will be made right. Do you know that? I really want you to ask yourself that question, do you know these things to be true?

    *Give those present time to ponder this question.

    If you know these things to be true, what is there to fear? You can have all comfort through any turmoil. Does that make it easy? Of course not. This life isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to stretch us.

    Now consider the great power of this knowledge.

    I would also like you to consider the great power and responsibility in sharing this knowledge with others.

    God has neither patience nor impatience. God has perfect faith. And that’s what He wants us to learn – to have perfect faith.

    Quick aside – does God have patience with us?

    As someone who was lost for so many years, and needed a lot of time to figure out just how much I needed God in my life – I will tell you resoundingly YES, God does have patience with us. He let me be lost until I was ready. God let me live in turmoil because that was what I chose. We don’t have to choose turmoil. Life will give us enough.

    So much of the world chooses to live in turmoil. Some don’t know there is a better option. How many people do you know that seem so lost? Share your light with them. Share the knowledge you have – Of a loving Heavenly Father that you knew and know, of a Savior and brother who loves you.

    We don’t have to choose more turmoil in our lives. Which leads me to…

    A final thought – we must not mistake patience for complacence.

    I feel like I have an interesting relationship with patience / complacence. My friends make fun of me for the happy-go-lucky, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to way I go about life. You know why I think that way? Because everything does work out. And everything will work out.

    The way to develop patience in turmoil is to remember that it will ALWAYS work out. No matter how hard it is. Difficulty serves a purpose.

    But we must not be complacent. Sometimes I fall into complacency.

    Just because the world is in turmoil doesn’t mean we become complacent.

    “There’s nothing I can do about evil in the world.” – there is.

    “There’s nothing I can do to make a change” – there always is.

    “Nobody is interested in the gospel anymore” – not true.

    “There is no good in the world, it’s all backbiting, lying, and hatred.” – NOT true.

    With your knowledge of eternity, you have power to change and shape this world and the minds, hearts, and outlooks of those around you.

    Be positive. Be patient. Be loving. Be sincere. Be honest. Be like Christ.

    What can we do amidst turmoil?

    Don’t miss the mark. Why can we survive in turmoil? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we push forward? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we have faith? Jesus Christ.

    Why is there no reason, ever, for us to fear? Jesus Christ.

    Why is there no reason for us to give up hope? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we cheer for joy, even amongst death, and emotional pain, and everything Satan can possibly throw at us? Jesus Christ.

    Don’t miss the mark. Don’t forget that He did it. He died. He came back. You will come back. You will one day stand by Him. And you’ll know you’re on the winning team. You’ll know this whole life experience, all the pain, all the doubt, all the heartache – He felt it too. And what was its purpose? Its purpose was to make you something you can’t even imagine.

    Will it be worth it?

    When we kneel before Jesus Christ and thank Him, will we even remember the pain?

    There is joy in pressing toward the mark. Don’t forget what you’re aiming for. Jesus Christ is the mark.

    Patience ultimately is peace. We can only have peace in this world if we focus on Jesus Christ.

  • Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    In November of 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I’m not doing anything real impressive.  I spend the first 10 minutes of every day laying on my back on the ground.  I started by listening to guided meditations on YouTube.  Now I have the Calm App on my phone which I highly recommend.  I rotate between guided meditations and simply laying with my eyes closed, in prayer and thought.  Early on I found meditation to be extremely beneficial.  My days would start off right.  I would be calmer and more patient with any challenge that arose throughout the day.  I know this is hard to gauge and measure.  Maybe I wasn’t calmer or more patient, but I felt more calm and patient.  That has to be almost as good.

    When I started meditating, I immediately noticed answers to prayers.  Those 10 minutes have become the most important 10 minutes of my day.  I look forward to that time to spend with my own thoughts and with God.  It’s an opportunity to slow down and think about what I want to accomplish; in life and for that day.  It’s time to stop and consider all that I have to be grateful for.

    I think I’ve written about his before, but when I was coming back to church, initially a big help was basketball on weekend mornings.  For years my weekends were spent out late.  When I was trying to stop drinking and stop going out as much, Saturday morning (7am) basketball became critical.  It was something I could look forward to.  It motivated me to stay in on a Friday night so I could get up early and play.  I also played Sunday mornings.  They were my two favorite days every week.

    Weekend Warrior

    Sunday morning basketball never conflicted with church.  I was in the Young Single Adult Ward which didn’t meet until 1pm.  I could easily play 7am-10am and have a few hours to shower, relax, read, study, and pray before church began.

    One Sunday morning I got up to play like I always did.  I was walking around my room getting dressed.  It was time to walk out the door to leave so I bent over to pick up my gym bag.  As I started to stand up the craziest thing happened.  My back completely gave out.  Luckily, I was near my bed (which still resided on box springs on the floor, like I liked it) so I literally fell sideways onto my bed.  I was in excruciating pain.  I called my mom and she said to take some ibuprofen, the basic mom guidance stuff.  I still had it in my mind that I could go play.  I was 26 years old, surely, I didn’t actually throw my back out…right?  I quickly realized, I did.

    Me that weekend

    As I laid in my bed, I wondered what to do.  I loved reading my scriptures, especially Sunday mornings after basketball and before church.  So, I pulled out my scriptures and continued to read where I’d left off in the book of Alma.

    I remember reading the story of the sons of Mosiah that morning in Alma 17-27.  I remember being struck by one thing: the sons of Mosiah were offered the kingdom.  They were each individually asked to be the king of their people.  They were asked to rule, to have power, to have the comforts and honors of the world given to them for the rest of their life.  Instead, they chose to forsake worldly possessions and go on a mission to the Lamanites.  One by one they chose to reject kingship and go to a land of people that were open about their desire to kill any Nephite that came into their presence, let alone a Nephite set to inherit the Nephite kingdom.

    What inspired Ammon and his brothers, the sons of Mosiah to forsake the kingdom and instead choose to preach the gospel?  They saw an angel.  I can’t describe exactly what happened to me that day, studying in my bed.  Something happened.  I was so filled with the spirit.  I felt like I was floating.  It was the most uplifting and edifying scripture study I’d ever had.  I grew so much that morning.  I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since.  That morning, along with learning so much about the sons of Mosiah and who I wanted to be, I also learned the value of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

    I don’t think basketball was the worst thing to do on a Sunday morning, far from it.  I think those first few months of Sunday morning basketball had a huge impact on me and helped me stay away from activities it was important for me to stay away from at that time.  That morning though, I came to a crossroad.  The temptations of prior months had lessened.  I was immersing myself in the scriptures and praying daily.  That morning I learned how much I could gain on Sunday mornings. 

    I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since that morning I threw my back out.  Instead, every Sunday morning I try to pray, read, and study.  My study isn’t as good as it has been in the past, I can always improve.  But, staying in on Sunday, preparing for church, praying, pondering my blessings, being with my wife, has become my favorite part of every week.

    In November 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I meditate 7 days a week.  There’s a strange phenomenon I’ve experienced during this time.  I meditate every single day.  But, on Sundays, something is different.  I don’t meditate with the hopes of becoming emotional.  I enjoy it when it happens.  I enjoy feeling the spirit so strongly that, as I lay on the ground in gratitude to my Heavenly Father, tears sometimes come to my eyes.  It happens every so often.  What I’ve noticed is it happens mostly on Sundays.

    Without fail, as I lay and meditate on Sundays, I will be moved by the grace of Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father.  I will contemplate the Atonement of my Savior.  I’ll consider the suffering He went through for me.  I’ll think about where I’ve been and where I am now.  I’ll wonder how God can love us so much.

    Grace of Christ

    I bear testimony that Sunday is a special day.  It’s not special because it’s specifically Sunday.  That’s the day we, our society, have set aside as a day to worship.  It could be Monday or Friday, doesn’t matter.  What matters is it’s a day for the Lord.  It’s important because it’s a day set aside for God.  He has given us all our days, our lives, what is one day a week in return?  I know that the Sabbath day is a special day.  I know it holds power.  I know it gives rejuvenating strength in a world that unceasingly sucks our spiritual resolve from us throughout the week.  I know it because I’ve experienced it.

    I would invite everybody to spend some time every Sunday morning in prayer.  I promise you will feel something special.  The Sabbath day is profound.  Keep it holy.  It was a long journey for me to truly appreciate the power of the Sabbath.  I know that we’re blessed for keeping the Sabbath holy.  In the scriptures, keeping the Sabbath is said to be what separates God’s people from the world.  Keep the Sabbath holy and I promise God will pour out blessings on you.  I know because he has on me.