No Coincidences

Tag: Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

  • Repentance

    Repentance

    3 Nephi 11:32 reads: 

    “And this is my doctrine, and it is the doctrine which the Father hath given unto me; and I bear record of the Father, and the Father beareth record of me, and the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men everywhere to repent and believe in me.” 

    3 Nephi 11:37-38 reads:

    “And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things. 

    And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” 

    These were some of the first recorded words Jesus Christ spoke to His other flock in the Americas (John 10:16).

    Hugh Nibley says, 

    “Who is righteous in the Book of Mormon? There’s a very simple definition of righteousness in the Book of Mormon, as in the book of Ezekiel. One is righteous because he is repentant, and a person who is not repenting is a person who is not righteous. That’s all there is to it, because we’re all wicked and we all need to repent all the time. “Say nothing but repentance to this generation” (D&C 6:9). The first word of the Lord to the Nephites was, “This is my doctrine…and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men, everywhere to repent…” (3 Nephi 11:32). You have to do that. And as Ezekiel tells us, if a person has been righteous all his life but he’s not repenting any more, he’s wicked (see Ezekiel 18:20-32). Of course, he may have been wicked all of his life, and if he’s repenting now, he’s righteous. It makes no difference. So, always repent, always keep repenting. “But behold, all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people shall dwell safely in the Holy One of Israel if it so be that they will repent” (1 Nephi 22:28).

    I’ve thought a lot about that Hugh Nibley quote since I read it. 

    Can it be that simple? Is it that black and white? 

    Good person = someone repenting 

    Bad person = someone not repenting 

    Does this mean deathbed confessions are adequate? Does this mean if you confess your sins and repent the day before you die that you are righteous? 

    Yes and no. 

    I believe Hugh Nibley’s point is powerful. Repentance=righteousness. Unrepentance=unrighteousness.  

    There’s another part of this equation. Repentance=change. 

    I think back on the eight years I was inactive from church. One of the most distinct aspects of that time period was not praying. I never prayed. Praying made me feel guilty. Since I was not praying, naturally I was also not repenting. At the time I couldn’t repent. Not only due to the fact that I wasn’t praying, but also because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to stop doing the things I was doing. I couldn’t repent and then go continue to do what I was doing. I hope I’ve never taken for granted the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know I do. But I try so hard not to. 

    As I’ve been back at church these last 10 years, I haven’t missed a day of repentance. I repent at least once and sometimes two or three or four times a day. My nightly prayers have a consistent feature, no matter what – asking for forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made. I often try to think back through my day and think of the mistakes I made and the things I could have done better. 

    Repentance causes change. If I repented during the years of my inappropriate behavior, it would have been insincere, or it would have led to change. I wouldn’t have been trying to change. My repentance started when I was ready to change. That isn’t to say I should have waited as long as I did. But I do believe Heavenly Father has an unimaginable amount of patience with us. I think we’ll one day marvel at how much love and patience He possesses.  

    Repentance has a negative connotation. It shouldn’t. Repentance makes us better. As Ivy put it one day when I asked her, “Why do we want to be like Jesus?” 

    “Because He is nice.” Repentance makes us nicer. Repentance makes us better. It isn’t a negative thing at all.  

    Are there nice people that don’t “repent.” Of course. But repentance is bigger than that. It’s a humility. It’s recognizing our faults. It’s recognizing we have nothing without all that God has given us. It is a desire to change and be even better than we were the day before. 

    So are deathbed confessions valid? That’s not for me to decide. I know repentance results in change. Ultimately God will decide. It’s not for us to judge. And that’s the most important point to make. When someone shows up to church for the first time, someone who has made a million mistakes and a million bad life choices; when that person shows up to church, you love them. You love and accept and forgive. Leave the rest for God to decide. A person coming to church and trying to change should be shown as much love as a church congregation can muster.

    The miracle of the Atonement is that it is eternal – backwards and forwards. Forever. Christ is always there waiting for us when we’re ready. When we’re ready to start repenting, then we are ready to start changing, and then we can start to be ready to go see Him again. Hopefully, through so much repentance, we can become like Him. That’s the ultimate goal.  

  • Abraham’s Sacrifice

    Abraham’s Sacrifice

    “Yet Abraham himself came from a troubled family – his father, who had abandoned the true worship of God, tried to have Abraham sacrificed to false gods.”

    Come Follow Me Curriculum

    And you thought your parents were bad. They ever try to sacrifice you to false gods? 

    When I read that above quote, I thought about something I’d never connected in my mind before.  

    The story of Abraham almost sacrificing his son Isaac is a well-known biblical story of true faith. What I’d never connected with this, though, was the almost sacrifice of Abraham by his father many years prior. 

    There’s a lot to unravel there. 

    What occurred to me was this: Not only was this an unbearably difficult test Abraham was given; to sacrifice and kill his most precious, only son. It also, likely, spurred up painful memories of when Abraham’s father offered him as a sacrifice. (If all things are a type and a shadow of greater things, and Abraham represents God in sacrificing His only begotten son, what does this say about God?) 

    In that moment, with the added guilt and pain of losing his precious son, did Abraham also wonder about the damage he was causing his son? If by some miracle Isaac surived, how would he feel about almost being sacrificed? Abraham went through the same with his father.

    Another way to think about this – Abraham’s father is demonized for his part in almost sacrificing his son. Abraham is revered for his almost role in sacrificing his son. What is the difference? Well, the difference, I assume, is the intent, the heart, and the being to whom the sacrifice was being offered. 

    But how, in that moment, did Abraham have such faith, such trust, such knowledge, such understanding to know he was doing the right thing and sacrificing his son to the right God? Didn’t his father believe the same thing once upon a time? 

    This is one of those blog posts where I don’t have answers to my own questions. This is something I will have to ponder upon, research, and think more about.   

    If anyone has comments or can enlighten me, please do. 

  • Guilt

    Guilt

    Every once in a while, I feel guilt for things I did, the person I used to be, the people I hurt, the pain I caused, the horrible things I was a part of. I know it seems…like I haven’t really changed if I only feel that guilt every once in a while. Guilt is an interesting thing. 

    Every once in a while, I look back on who I was. I’ll feel some guilt for the worst things I was a part of. I think I’ll always feel that, in this life, to some extent. It’s like a prick in my side, as the scriptures would say. It stays with me because I need to be reminded of where bad choices lead.

    The most interesting thing about the guilt of my past is it’s not really there, anymore. By this I mean, when I think about it, I more think about the people I hurt, and I feel sorry. But those feelings have become distant, like an old me.

    I know there will be, or I hope there will be, some people who read this that I did hurt. I know they’re going to read this and scoff. “Oh good for you, you’ve been forgiven. What about me? The person you hurt.” That’s the guilt that still hits me sometimes.

    I have tried to reach out to some people from my past, especially early on. There were things I had to say and people I had to speak to before the weight of my guilt could be lifted off me. It’s intrersting…for years I didn’t let go of some of the weight I was carrying. And it was a weight. It was slowly killing me.

    I haven’t been forgiven because of myself. I haven’t chosen to forgive myself.

    I know a lot of my friends who have only known me in the last few years read this. They might sometimes wonder what makes me so passionate about church, God, the gospel, etc.

    I know a lot of my friends and people who knew me back when I was in full “of the world” mode and they now wonder, “What the heck changed? When did he become a God nut?”

    I know there are people from high school who will think similar things.

    I hope this explains a little bit about why I’ve become so passionate to share about Jesus Christ, to talk about Jesus Christ, to write about Jesus Christ. I hope for everyone who knew me in high school, everyone who knew me through college, everyone who knew me through church, I hope this can explain why I can’t stop talking about Jesus Christ.

    At least once a week I cry in gratitude. Because when I think about my past, it’s not really there anymore. Like I said, some guilt will always be there. But the overwhelming sadness at who I used to be is gone. I shed tears once a week asking God why. Why did He save me? What am I worth to Him?

    I can’t be ashamed of Jesus Christ anymore. I was ashamed and embarrassed to be a believer and outward worshiper of Him for too long.

    Today, I feel with an all too real sensation that He died for me. He suffered, and bled, and was scourged, and was insulted, and humbly took it, for me. Without Him that guilt would still be killing me. I’ve been washed clean by His blood. And that’s why I’ve changed. For all those who used to know me, that’s why I am the way I am now. Because the feeling of what Christ did for me is too real of a feeling.

    This forgiveness didn’t come over night. I didn’t one day feel great. It was months and months of being on my knees, crying, begging. It was reaching out to certain people. It was being humble enough to admit I made so many mistakes. And over time, I don’t know exactly when it happened, but one day my guilt was a thing of the past. Sometimes I feel guilt because my guilt is a thing of the past.

    Guilt is an interesting thing.

    I still make many, many mistakes.

    If there is anyone reading this that is still scoffing, thinking, “Well you were a jerk to me, screw you.” Please forgive me. You can comment here anonymously and really lay into me. I know there are still things I might need to make up for. Christ forgave me but others might still have to. Please reach out to me if I ever hurt you so I can try my best to ask for your forgiveness.

    For anyone reading this who thinks their choices are who they are. Your choices make you only if you continue to make them. As soon as you decide to change someone will be there to change you. Guilt doesn’t have to be with you forever. It can be washed away. Trust me, it’s a miraculous feeling. 

    I sometimes wonder how I could change so drastically. Being a person who said things like “washed clean in the blood of Christ” or “Christ saved me.” I never thought I would say things like that. They sound so corny. Then, in quiet moments by myself I’m overwhelmed by God’s love and that He gave His Son to die…for me. Then I decide I’ll be as corny as I have to be. I can’t be embarrassed anymore. I just can’t. Because I know Christ was never embarrassed to claim me. Through all my mistakes and through all the moments He should have turned His back on me, He never would, He never did. He always loved me. 

    I haven’t been forgiven because of myself. I’ve been forgiven because of Him. It’s the greatest gift I’ve ever been given and it’s free to us all. 

    It’s why I still cry EVERY time I hear this song: 

    And I Stand All Amazed:

    Video “Remembering in Whom We Have Trusted” by Elder Allen D. Haynie 

    *I wrote this sometime around 2019. As I edited it to post in 2026, I felt some sadness at things that are less true than they were 7 years ago. For example, I no longer cry at least once a week. I think about this sometimes. I really used to cry once a week, during the sacrament, when I thought about what Christ did for me. It’s less often now.

    While I want to retain that passion and that burning feeling of gratitude within me for what Christ has done for me, it’s also kind of beautiful that I’m less emotional. Part of the reason I’m less emotional is because I feel less guilt about past deeds. I think over time the Atonement of Jesus Christ has more and more healed my soul and my guilt.

    I still owe Him a tremendous debt of gratitude. I still owe Him everything. I hope to hold to those emotions while also being able to let go of past guilt as best I can. It’s a balance. A balance afforded me by the Great Healer.

  • Monumental Moment

    Monumental Moment

    I’ve written about seemingly small moments in my life that made a huge difference on the trajectory of my future. I’ve mentioned a postcard. I’ve also mentioned a seemingly inconsequential invitation to join a basketball team (from that same link). I’d like to elaborate on that basketball invitation story.

    I was so nervous my first time coming back to church that I made my roommate come with me so I didn’t have to go alone. It had been years since I’d been at church.

    I only remember one thing about that first day back at church, and it was after sacrament meeting ended. I’d just sat through my first sacrament meeting in I’m not sure how many years. I was self-conscious, uncomfortable, ready to leave, when the person in front of me turned around in his seat.

    “Hey, do you play basketball?” He asked.

    I remember being blown away. I remember thinking, “Wow! The spirit is powerful here! How did he know???”

    I’ve thought back on that moment. Yes, the spirit was powerful that day. But not in a mystical, this stranger in front of me received a supernatural message that I loved basketball, kind of way. The world would consider that a powerful spiritual experience. What actually happened was equally as powerful, yet more easily “understood” by worldly standards.

    The truth is, as I now suspect, the person who sent that postcard went the extra mile. When I asked about going to church, after telling me where they met and what time, she also reached out to the Bishop of that ward. In hindsignt, I’m pretty sure I was brought up in ward council, a meeting where leaders of a church ward discuss pressing matters.

    I’m sure I was mentioned. I’m sure Kelsie, the postcard giver, told the bishop I liked basketball. That person who turned around in their chair to ask if I liked basketball was in that meeting. I’m sure he was looking for me.

    Is this any less miraculous?

    Is it any less of a miracle that an individual, who had never spoken to me before had heard of me and knew I needed friendship extended in my direction? A complete stranger stepped out of his comfort zone and said hi to a stranger and asked a seemingly random question. A complete stranger didn’t care if I was the worst basketball player in the world, he still asked me to join a city league team with him. 

    As a basketball player, that last part is significant. I would hesitate to ask someone I’d never seen play basketball to join my team. How do I know that person can dribble a basketball? How do I know whether or not that person knows how to play team basketball? How do I know whether or not that person is a nightmare on the basketball court?

    The invitation that day was about more than basketball. That invitation came from an individual who had heard about me, a wayward soul trying to come back, and followed a spiritual prompting to invite me to play on a basketball team- basketball skills be darned.

    That person’s name was David Lake and I owe him a great debt. I have thanked him for that moment. Such a tiny moment. I know he didn’t think about it much after doing it. That was just the kind of person he was. In that moment, a stranger knew me, cared about me, and invited me. 

    That moment made all the difference in my life.

    It’s amazing how a seemingly tiny moment can change the trajectory of a life. Where am I if not for that monumental moment? Did I come to church the next week? Did I meet my wife? Do I have Ivy, Sage, Wren – my own eternal family? 

    There are some moments that carry more weight than others, no matter how seemingly inconsequential.

    My invitation to anyone reading- the next time you’re at the grocery store, or the dog park, or the gym, or at work, and that strange thought comes to your mind while you’re conversing with someone, “Invite them.” Do it. You don’t know the profound blessing that can change a person’s life because you decide to step out of your comfort zone and invite a stranger.

    If you have been blessed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ, share it. Invite others. It’s the least you can do to thank your Heavenly Father for this gift He has given you.

    Beth and I were laughing how roommate Chris is in this picture but I’m not. David Lake prominently placed.
    Beth and I actually met through church basketball. Crazy huh? As you’ll see in this picture, couldn’t be seen too close to her, would be too obvious.
    A future wife, future best friend I still coach with, many lifelong friends, and saving Bishop all in one picture. That’s a miracle.
  • Incommensurable

    Incommensurable

    I was listening to a podcast about the incommensurability of Joseph Smith being able to describe what the translation process for the Book of Mormon was like.  

    Incommensurable is like indescribable, without relation to anything, unquantifiable.  

    Joseph Smith had many experiences, including the First Vision, that were incommensurable and therefore difficult for him to describe.

    I’ve written 330+ posts at this point. In many of them, I’m trying to describe incommensurable things. I’m trying to describe my testimony. I’m trying to describe my experiences. I’m trying to describe a change that has happened inside me. I’m trying to describe things I know to be true. These things, without the reader feeling my emotions, my heart, my chest, my mind, without being in my skin, words can’t describe many of the things I try to write and share. 

    I wish I could hand the testimony I have of the Book of Mormon and of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for me into the heart of every person I ever meet, if only for a moment (I want it back!). But I can’t. I wish I could give to someone how I know the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve tried before. I can’t. 

    I wish I could describe so that you, the reader, could understand what I felt when I left the Bishop’s office and knew, just knew with all my heart, that Christ was going to forgive me for everything I had done. I wish I could describe the feeling that washed over me. I wish you could feel my tears. I wish you could feel that experience. 

    Many of you have in your own way. Some of you haven’t.

    Tears come to my eyes just thinking back on some of these moments in my life.

    Incommensurable.  

    I want to state something clearly, since I can’t use words to properly describe my testimony and knowledge of my Savior. Here are facts to review. 

    I have changed. 

    I am a father. 

    I am a different person than I was 5, 10, or 15 years ago. I am far, far, far from perfect. Embarassingly far from perfect. Shamefully far from perfect. I recognize that. But –

    If you see anything good in me, it’s because of Jesus Christ.

    If you think I have any admirable qualities, it’s because of Jesus Christ. 

    If you think I’m any sort of decent father, it’s because of Jesus Christ. 

    If you think I’m any sort of decent person, it’s because of Jesus Christ.

    Everything good I am and everything good I can be is because of Him. 

    I am not a father without Him. I am not a son without Him. I am not a friend without Him. 

    Everything good I am, is because of Him. 

    For those that haven’t had revelatory experience of knowing that Christ is your Savior, and feeling what He has done for you, I invite you to sit and ponder all your mistakes. Ponder the pain you’ve caused others. Ponder all the bad. Realize He forgives you because He loves you. Then ponder all the good you’ve ever done. All the help you’ve ever provided. All the smiles you’ve caused. Consider all that is good about you, and thank Him. Whether you realize it or not, it’s because of Him.