No Coincidences

Tag: Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

  • Attack in Michigan

    Attack in Michigan

    For those who didn’t hear, there was a shooting at an LDS church 18 days ago. I’m not sure if this was big news outside of LDS circles. Sad when there is “just another shooting.”

    For these last two weeks I’ve considered writing something about the attack.

    It felt like something I should write about.

    But I didn’t know what to say. Especially with all the conversation that started to come up around it, I didn’t really want to contribute to that.

    But again, I felt like it was something I should write about.

    The first thing I felt when I heard the news was a real, deep sadness. A quick, deep sadness, like a punch of sorrow to my gut.

    The next thing I felt was a little ashamed of myself. There are shootings often. Unfortunately. When this happened, it hit me hard. I found other recent shootings that I hadn’t heard anything about. Every shooting brings me sadness. Why did this one impact me so much more? I guess because this shooting happened against my people, I felt it more.

    I don’t like thinking in terms of “my people.” Polarized, tribal views is one of the major issues in America right now.

    Still, these were my people. I now had images of being with my congregation on Sunday when a nightmare might start. These were followers of Christ. These were my brothers and sisters.

    What happened in Michigan hit me. But it’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the response.

    What should separate members of the body of Christ? How should members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints act? How should true followers of Christ respond to an act of violence against them?

    If we are true studiers of the Book of Mormon, true understanders of the Gospel, and true readers of the Bible, we should know that the response should be love and compassion. No matter how hard that is.

    So when I read that a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, not a member of the attacked congregation, but a member nonetheless, when I heard someone started a fundraiser for the family of the man that did something indescribably wrong, I held back tears.

    I encourage you to read that last link becuase Dave Butler, the man who started the fundraiser, makes some good and important points.

    It’s not easy to forgive your enemies.

    Is this a story of forgiveness or is it a story of empathy, love, and compassion? It is an example of all those things. This was just a way for a community of people to show all those attributes in a difficult circumstance.

    We have a commission to look after the widowed and fatherless. There was now a family that needed that. The human family showed its true character when it stepped up to help the widowed and the fatherless.

    If we could just show more love, compassion, forgiveness, and empathy in this world, how different would it be?

    I am proud of my church.

    I am proud of Jesus Christ’s church.

    I’m proud of our members and what we represent. I know that aggression against the followers of Christ will increase. I wrote about this last week. I hope our faith is ready to withstand the trials that await us.

    I hope that throughout our trials we can always remember that love, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness are always the right choice.

  • Parenting Without Faith

    Parenting Without Faith

    Moments where you feel like a good parent doing good things sometimes don’t come often enough. And then one comes that is so impactful it brings you to tears.

    Ivy claimed to be sick this morning. I thought she was making it up until I saw her throw up with my own eyes.

    So she stayed home from school. Without any guidance or prompt, she went upstairs on her own and laid down in her bed. This is very un-Ivy like. She was definitely sick.

    I got a show setup on a laptop for her so she could lay in bed and relax. I brought it to her, and she didn’t want it, she just wanted to rest. Ivy was definitely sick.

    An hour later she came to my room and said she did want a show. We walked back to her room, and I started to get it setup. She said she needed to throw up and inexplicably walked away from her throw up bucket and passed her bathroom down the hall to my bathroom.

    Luckily, she made it in time.

    She knelt in front of the toilet. She looked so big, her little four-year-old body, already knowing how to properly throw up in a toilet. Any parent can relate to and feel the pain of watching their child throw up.

    I held her hair and rubbed her back.

    Ivy stood up.

    She said, through little sobs and stutters as she caught her breath, “Daddy, I ask Jesus in my bed to help me. Will you pray for me at my bed? I asked Jesus to help me stop throwing up.”

    Those words don’t fully capture it. I cannot properly put in words the sweetness, the tenderness, the humility, the vulnerability, the faith, the innocence of what was coming out of Ivy’s mouth. What I put above was roughly what she said. But it was so much more. It was soft, it was gentle, it was pleading.

    This pleading was not with adultlike “this needs to get done” energy, but with patient understanding. This request came with complete innocence. Coming from your four-year-old who is normally all chaotic, joyful energy, these calm, sweet moments can be so jarring.

    I explained to Ivy that Jesus might help her stop throwing up, but I promised her that even if she didn’t stop throwing up, He would be with her and help her. I told Ivy, “You know when Jesus died for you?” She nodded, as this is something we talk about often. “When He died for you, He felt what you just felt, that hurt and pain and sickness of throwing up, He felt it. So even if you throw up more, He is with you.”

    Ivy said, “Even when I get big owies, He feels it.”

    I took Ivy back to her room. I put a show on for her to watch. She lay in bed.

    How do parents parent without faith?

    This parenting thing is hard enough. How could I explain to Ivy that she’s throwing up and in pain and I don’t know why and there’s nothing I can do about it?

    In the last couple weeks, my knee has been healed, my daughter with potential hip dysplasia has been blessed (what happens is yet to be seen), and my Ivy has known that even though she’s sick, Jesus is with her and helping her and there’s a reason for it.

    How do you raise kids without this?

    I don’t know.

    The last thing Ivy said during our conversation at the toilet, “Jesus is God, that is why I ask Him for help.”

    Jesus is our God. Heavenly Father is our Father. They watch over us. As I sit here with tears in my eyes, my sweet daughter laying in bed suffering with a little tummy ache, writing this out, I’m reminded that Jesus is God. And I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t know that. It would be so hopeless otherwise.

    He died for us, and He knows our pain.

    I wish we could all have the faith of a 4-year-old.

  • Developing Patience in Turmoil

    Developing Patience in Turmoil

    I gave a talk in church on 6/29/25. Since I put so much time and effort into typing out the thoughts for the talk, I like to put it into a blog post.

    The problem with my talks is I don’t prepare exactly what I’m going to say. I prepare more of an outline and try to “let the spirit guide.” I enjoy this way of speaking.

    On a sidenote, I know I’ve mentioned before my overwhelming fear with public speaking. It has gone from overwhelming to manageable. The last time I spoke in church I decided to wing it and try to speak without any preparation. I only used personal experiences and stories that time speaking but still filled 15 minutes. 6/29/25 was my first time speaking since that time “winging it” a few months ago. I think trying that made the mental fear of speaking in church a lot easier. After going in with no notes or preparation at all it and everything working out fine, surely if I prepare a little it will all work out, right?

    I guess I’m gaining some confidence.

    Anyways, I wanted to share the thoughts I put together from this recent talk.

    The topic I was assigned was “Developing Patience in Turmoil.”

    Beth was speaking ahead of me so I knew my introduction was going to be extra flexible. I had something planned just in case, but I expected to either use something I heard from Beth’s talk or something unplanned. I went with something slightly unplanned. As I’d just walked up from the pews with my girls, removing Ivy from my lap just before walking up, I made a comment about the aptness of my topic given I was brushing fishies and other snacks from my clothes as I walked up. Patience in Turmoil was a good topic for me to consider.

    From here, I’ll just put my notes from my talk, which give a rough feel for what I said that day in church.

    So…  turmoil.

    As I pondered this topic I really focused on that word – turmoil. What a word.

    What is turmoil? What does turmoil look like?

    “Turmoil refers to a state of great commotion, confusion, or disturbance. It can describe a situation marked by uncertainty, agitation, or a lack of order. It can also refer to inner turmoil, which is a state of emotional distress or conflict.”

    As I started thinking about this word, more and more circumstances, thoughts, stories, and examples kept coming to me:

    Me and my girls trying to go to the zoo. Crying, screaming, lost keys, searching.

    Turmoil – church with little ones. The pew we have commandeered in this our new ward has become a place of turmoil from the hour of 9:00am-10:00am every Sunday.

    Turmoil – a 7-hour drive to California with children. Patience.

    Turmoil – an aunt, mentor, and best friend dying of cancer. Patience.

    Turmoil – parents dealing with a daughter struggling at school.

    Turmoil – a good friend who’s 12-year-old daughter is dealing with a serious health issue. He just took her to Colorado for treatment.

    Turmoil – Mayo clinic down the street from us, how many people are dealing with turmoil there right now?

    Turmoil – a 14-year-old girl I coached this season whose father dies of an unexpected heart attack in the middle of a basketball season leaving her and her mother alone.

    Turmoil – Sister Ogle’s talk last week, turmoil in the unknown of church, if we should go, if we belong.

    Turmoil – a teenager that feels like they don’t belong.

    Turmoil – depression, sadness, uncertainty.

    Turmoil – worrying about how you’re going to pay the bills.

    Turmoil – not getting invited to the party.

    Turmoil – missing your best friend.

    Turmoil – a young boy that wants to come back to church but can’t give up all the bad habits he’s developed.

    That last one was me 10 years ago. Some of the others are me now. Some of the others are friends and loved ones of mine. Some of the other examples, I’m guessing, are you, in the audience.

    Turmoil. Turmoil. Turmoil.

    As I prepared for this talk, I really thought about this word. Turmoil. There are an infinite number of ways to experience turmoil. And here’s the thing, because you’re here on this earth, you’re experiencing turmoil. I know you are. I am. We all are. That’s part of this life.

    When I’m preparing a talk, I like to consider the message I can give that might help one person. But with this word, turmoil, there is too much variety, and yet we’re all experiencing it.

    It’s going to get a lot more turbulent in the coming years. We better get used to living in turmoil.

    *Phew. Depressing right? Yeah. I know. I really brought the mood down. Thank you for coming to hear me speak. Have a great Sunday….

    Just kidding. Let’s try to get uplifted.

    Let’s get back to my topic. Another word DEVELOPING.

    I thought about this word a lot too. Developing. How do you develop anything? You have to practice.

    You can only develop patience in turmoil if you’re practicing, meaning, living in turmoil. What an interesting concept. We don’t want to be in turmoil. We are constantly trying to make sure we’re not in turmoil. That means when life throws turmoil at us, we should use it. Don’t waste turmoil. Don’t waste opportunities to grow, and practice, and learn, and be better.

    So we’ve established we’re all living in turmoil, what do we do with it? Let’s get into the happy part of this topic.

    Patience.

    Ultimately patience is a peace around things we can’t control. Patience is trust in God. Patience is an inner calm.

    I have a blog I post spiritual thoughts to weekly. When I received my topic, I opened my computer to start formulating thoughts for this talk. I was reminded of a document I’ve had open on my computer for weeks, a blog post I’ve been working on titled “Was Satan Impatient?” I think it’s fascinating if you read and study Satan’s story in the scriptures closely, I believe there is evidence that he was extremely impatient to come to earth. I don’t think he trusted God’s plan. He thought he knew better, and he wanted to do things his way on his timeline.

    Now we’re not Satan but, sound familiar?

    Patience. Patience. I will use the word peace synonymously with patience. I think peace is patience.

    What can we do to have patience when everything around us is so hard, and we just want it to be better NOW?

    Real life strategies to develop patience:

    Meditation. I meditate for 10 minutes every day, no excuses. This often entails lying flat on the ground while two young girls literally crawl on top of me, slap, and otherwise torment me. Sometimes I get 10 minutes of actual quiet, prayerful, thoughtful, breathing and stretching time. Rarely. I started practicing meditation almost exactly one year ahead of Ivy being born. No coincidences. I think I needed to start that practice to be able to develop the patience I’d need to be a dad.

    Prayer. We have to be praying. Without prayer it is so easy to get quickly wrapped up into our day to day lives. We can be so focused on this earth that we forget where we came from and where we’re going. We should be praying multiple times a day to our Father and talking to Him like He’s our Father. We should be asking Him for help to be able to see the bigger picture and to have the patience we need to endure the trials and challenges we receive in this life.

    Look at the world as a child. LINK Ivy recently started saying in every prayer, “Heavenly Father, thank you for everything we have. And thank you for everything we don’t have.” How often do you thank Heavenly Father for everything you don’t have? I’ve never done that. That is childlike patience. Be grateful for everything Heavenly Father has given you and everything He hasn’t.

    An extremely impactful book I read when coming back to church was Visions of Glory. Something I learned from that book was to see the bigger picture. See that every person and every reaction you have, every pain and challenge is meant to change your very being into being more like God. By being on this earth, you are becoming God-like. This viewpoint, I think, can give us great patience especially when the people around us make life difficult. If you look at those people not as a hindrance but as someone sent here specifically to teach you something, that person becomes an essential and important element of your growth. There is power in this perspective.

    In a similar vein – Another thing we can do is think infinite – think eternal.

    In my personal opinion, the best talk President Nelson has given since becoming the prophet is Let God Prevail. I love this talk.

    How does President Nelson describe her as she is grieving over her father’s approach to death? Miopic. Think about that – President Nelson, the nicest, kindest, gentlest, sweetest soul on this earth. His granddaughter-in-law’s father is dying, and he describes her as miopic or nearsighted. I don’t think there was any malice in those words, just love. In that talk, President Nelson says this,

    “I am very proud of our precious granddaughter-in-law. During this heart-wrenching time in her life, dear Jill is learning to embrace God’s will for her dad, with an eternal perspective for her own life. By choosing to let God prevail, she is finding peace.”

    I will add, she is finding patience in turmoil.

    This is our ultimate strength in our battle to have patience in turmoil. Our greatest strength is to look beyond the troubling moment. Our greatest strength is to look beyond the earthly turmoil.

    I think patience is a Godly virtue. Here is a philosophical quandary for you – if God knows the beginning from the end, can He have patience? If He knows the beginning from the end, it can’t be described as patience, right?

    But here’s the thing, can WE know the beginning from the end…?

    Your immediate gut-reaction answer, I’m sure, like me, is “no.” – we can’t know the beginning from the end.

    Think about it. Can we know the beginning from the end? We can’t know all the details. We’re not omniscient. But do we know the end? We do know the end. We do know Jesus Christ died for us. We do know that ultimately God will prevail. We do know that we will leave this earth and return to a kind, loving, gracious Heavenly Father. We do know everything will be made right. Do you know that? I really want you to ask yourself that question, do you know these things to be true?

    *Give those present time to ponder this question.

    If you know these things to be true, what is there to fear? You can have all comfort through any turmoil. Does that make it easy? Of course not. This life isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to stretch us.

    Now consider the great power of this knowledge.

    I would also like you to consider the great power and responsibility in sharing this knowledge with others.

    God has neither patience nor impatience. God has perfect faith. And that’s what He wants us to learn – to have perfect faith.

    Quick aside – does God have patience with us?

    As someone who was lost for so many years, and needed a lot of time to figure out just how much I needed God in my life – I will tell you resoundingly YES, God does have patience with us. He let me be lost until I was ready. God let me live in turmoil because that was what I chose. We don’t have to choose turmoil. Life will give us enough.

    So much of the world chooses to live in turmoil. Some don’t know there is a better option. How many people do you know that seem so lost? Share your light with them. Share the knowledge you have – Of a loving Heavenly Father that you knew and know, of a Savior and brother who loves you.

    We don’t have to choose more turmoil in our lives. Which leads me to…

    A final thought – we must not mistake patience for complacence.

    I feel like I have an interesting relationship with patience / complacence. My friends make fun of me for the happy-go-lucky, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to way I go about life. You know why I think that way? Because everything does work out. And everything will work out.

    The way to develop patience in turmoil is to remember that it will ALWAYS work out. No matter how hard it is. Difficulty serves a purpose.

    But we must not be complacent. Sometimes I fall into complacency.

    Just because the world is in turmoil doesn’t mean we become complacent.

    “There’s nothing I can do about evil in the world.” – there is.

    “There’s nothing I can do to make a change” – there always is.

    “Nobody is interested in the gospel anymore” – not true.

    “There is no good in the world, it’s all backbiting, lying, and hatred.” – NOT true.

    With your knowledge of eternity, you have power to change and shape this world and the minds, hearts, and outlooks of those around you.

    Be positive. Be patient. Be loving. Be sincere. Be honest. Be like Christ.

    What can we do amidst turmoil?

    Don’t miss the mark. Why can we survive in turmoil? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we push forward? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we have faith? Jesus Christ.

    Why is there no reason, ever, for us to fear? Jesus Christ.

    Why is there no reason for us to give up hope? Jesus Christ.

    Why can we cheer for joy, even amongst death, and emotional pain, and everything Satan can possibly throw at us? Jesus Christ.

    Don’t miss the mark. Don’t forget that He did it. He died. He came back. You will come back. You will one day stand by Him. And you’ll know you’re on the winning team. You’ll know this whole life experience, all the pain, all the doubt, all the heartache – He felt it too. And what was its purpose? Its purpose was to make you something you can’t even imagine.

    Will it be worth it?

    When we kneel before Jesus Christ and thank Him, will we even remember the pain?

    There is joy in pressing toward the mark. Don’t forget what you’re aiming for. Jesus Christ is the mark.

    Patience ultimately is peace. We can only have peace in this world if we focus on Jesus Christ.

  • A Ward Family

    A Ward Family

    When Beth and I got married, we were required to leave our ward or church building we had been attending. That ward was for young single adults (YSA). As we were no longer single and saying goodbye to the days of young, it was time for us to leave.

    That ward held an important place in my heart. It was that ward that helped me come back to Christ. It was the leaders there that helped me re-establish my faith. It was the people there that helped me feel welcome and helped me to stay.

    I didn’t want to leave.

    Beth said we had to.

    After the YSA ward Beth and I joined a family ward that didn’t last long before it was split, boundaries were reset, and we joined another ward.

    We’ve now been in the Chaparral ward for most of our marriage.

    We recently moved so we’re joining a new ward, a new group of people, a new building. It won’t be that different, aside from the people.

    And yet it’s been really hard for me to say goodbye.

    We’re just moving down the street, I’ll still see some of the people from our old ward sometimes. But it won’t be the same.

    I compared it to moving away for college. Moving away for college was really difficult for me. I love my family. I knew when I left for college that everything was changing. I also knew it was something I had to do to grow.

    When I left for college, of course I’d continued to see my family. They’d only be a 5-hour drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every day. I wouldn’t talk to them every day. We wouldn’t be in the same house.

    In the same way, leaving our ward, they’d just be a 15-minute drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every Sunday. I wouldn’t talk to them every week.

    I guess I just don’t like goodbyes.

    It’s difficult saying goodbye to my family every time I leave home.

    And that’s when I realized that the Chaparral Ward in the Scottsdale Arizona North Stake had become my family, and I would miss them.

    My calling in our ward for the last year was Elders Quorum President. Before that I was an Elders Quorum counselor so I’d been in the Elders Quorum Presidency for the Chaparral Ward for a couple years. I had pages and pages of notes. Tons of spreadsheets. Tons of information, and thoughts, and to-dos for and about these people I had come to care a lot about. As I compiled it all into one email for the person taking my place, I realized I wouldn’t need most of this information ever again.

    As I closed 15 browser tabs on my computer that I’d had open for a year, it was like saying goodbye.

    A ward family is unique and special. I will miss those people. I will miss those relationships.

    A little over a year ago the Chaparral ward received a new member. A man was baptized into our ward. Soon after his baptism, he moved to a new area, so he left our ward. But he was still family. He started dating a woman from our ward and they were sealed in the Gilbert temple recently. Beth and I were privileged and blessed to be there.

    Beth and I found a babysitter that very morning, just in time to get to the temple. We were one of the last to arrive and walk into the sacred sealing room. We had only been out of the Chaparral ward a couple weeks. As we walked into the sealing room, we looked around at all familiar faces, all faces from the Chaparral ward. I realized that for this couple getting married, with no local family or family in the church, this was their famliy: Ward Family. Everyone there were members of their church. Everyone there loved them. This is the significance of a ward family. This is the power and the love of a church.

    I guess this is what Christ wants. It’s why His church is important. Over time we spend so much time with these people. We love and we serve. During my time in the Chaparral ward I thought about this group of people so much, sometimes at the expense of my family. Sometimes my family needed me but I was at someone’s new home at 8am Saturday morning helping them move. Often I would be on my phone with someone needing help while my girls crawled over me. The time put into those people I loved so much connected me to them.

    A new Elders Quorum President comes in and the ward will continue with business as usual. All will continue seamlessly. This is the structure of Christ’s church.

    It’s the love of Christ that allows us to serve in these callings. I’m grateful for that calling. It was so hard. I couldn’t believe I only served in that calling for a year because it felt like so much more. That calling stretched my limits and taught me a lot.

    I’m grateful that Christ asks us to serve when we’re so incapable.

    But now I say goodbye and we move on to new opportunities, new people, new chances to serve.

    “To ten million fireflies, I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes

    I got misty eyes as they said farewell.”

    -Owl City

  • A Corny Video but Compelling Witness

    A Corny Video but Compelling Witness

    I came across this extremely corny 8-minute video that I had to share.

    It depicts a somewhat realistic interaction between two high schoolers that is then transported (classic short video trope) into a courtroom debate.

    I’m poking fun at the video because it really is quite cringy. But I love it. Which is why I’m sharing it.

    This video made me think of this post I wrote recently:

    Is the Book of Mormon true? Yes.

    The other day I overheard someone talking about how they don’t believe in God. I didn’t talk to them. But later I daydreamed about what I could have said. I daydreamed about walking up to them and telling them I know God exists. I imagined this imaginary person asking ‘How do you know?’ I would then explain about the Book of Mormon, and that because of it, I can know that God exists. This imaginary person would then ask, ‘How do you know the Book of Mormon is true?’ At which point I could try to explain in less than 1000 words as even my imaginary friend starts to gloss over and not understand/comprehend/care about what I’m saying.

    That’s what this short video made me think of. This video made me think of all the people I wish I could convince that the Book of Mormon is true. And along with that, all the people I wish I could convince that this matters, and it’s important.

    A quick recap from the video and from myself because I can’t help myself –

    Joseph Smith dictated the Book of Mormon without notes or source materials, nothing in front of him, in 65 working days. Today tens of thousands of people his same age stress and fret over 10-page term papers with sources included. The Book of Mormon is 531 pages.

    So he was a literary genius? Quite the contrary, could hardly write an understandable letter.

    So he faked for decades being an illiterate farm boy while dictating the greatest fictional literary work of all time? Uhm, okay. “This would require a beyond creative, theological genius to compile a book that radiates with the spirit.”

    Not to mention the things no one in his day knew about that have since come to light. Things it would have been impossible for him to know.

    As this video says, it’s not about proving the Book of Mormon is true with facts.

    It isn’t fiction. But I can’t prove that to anyone (as much as I think I actually can…). You have to read it then you have to ask God. And then if you get your answer, what next?

    A reminder of what the Book of Mormon asks us to do – prove it. Then be baptized and remember Jesus Christ, the redeemer of this world.  

    Moroni 10:3-5:

    3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

    4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

    5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

    Mosiah 18:8-10:

    8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

    9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

    10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

    If this book is true, what else matters!?!?

    Family = eternity.

    Jesus Christ = resurrection and eternal life.

    Heavenly Father = our Father, we are sons and daughters of God.

    If the Book of Mormon is true these things are true! Don’t day to day issues seem smaller when you realize you will live forever, with your family, as a divine being alongside THE divine beings?

    What a message.

    Read the book. Prove for yourself.