I want to write about what I learned when I struggled with something at church. I apologize for not going into specifics because I don’t want that to be the point. I want to write about what I learned from my struggle. To be clear, it was not a faith crisis. It was a policy/decision that I struggled with. I think almost all of us can relate to this for some topic, to some extent.
The first thing I learned is that God will speak peace to us, if we need it and if we can accept it. In my case I was questioning something and asking myself, “was that right?” I was pretty worked up about it. I was upset and confused. At some point, I stopped thinking about it. At the time I didn’t realize what was happening. I somehow moved on. I came to a feeling of peace about it. Initially, I attributed it to my general lack of caring about things I can’t control. But then it worked itself out, or God worked it out, and I look back and realize He spoke peace to me. I can almost hear Him, “Peace, my son. Don’t you know my hand is in these things? Don’t you know I will care for my children? Have faith.”
I believe God blessed and helped me. I believe the Holy Ghost spoke peace to my soul. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t even question it. Maybe I showed a fraction of faith and God rewarded me with peace. I more think He loves me and gave me that peace because I needed it. Either way it became a non-issue for me. Things would work out.
But, no matter our faults or potential mistakes, God will make things happen the way they need to happen.
I learned an important lesson. Despite how I think things should go or how I think things should be done, God has an order to His church. Decisions are made by those in authority. End of story. Satan ended up where he was because he fought God’s authority.
This gets me into the second thing I learned.
Throughout history, there have been things that are hard for people to understand. This has happened since before the restoration of the gospel. For the entirety of human history, and especially Christ’s Church, there have been aspects of it that man couldn’t understand, comprehend, or sometimes accept. We fall into this recency bias where we think we’re the only ones who struggle with church policy. In Adam’s day, his children had issues with “church policy.” In Moses’s day the Israelites disagreed with him often. In Joseph Smith’s day and up to right now with Russell M. Nelson, there are policies that we don’t understand. This isn’t unique to me. This is constant throughout the history of man.
In my opinion, it is okay to question. The restoration started with a question. We must be careful with doubt. Doubt can be a part of faith; in fact, it is a part of faith. If there weren’t some small part of doubt, it wouldn’t be faith. It would be something known. What we must be sure of is that our faith is stronger than our doubt.
The third thing I’ve always known but have learned to truly appreciate is that our testimony must be based on something sure. If our testimony is based on Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon, it will all work out.
My testimony is built on something much bigger than any policy.
My testimony is built on Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith being a prophet of God, and the Book of Mormon being an inspired and true translation of an ancient book, given to us by God’s hand. I know these things because I’ve prayed about them. I know these things because I’ve felt them. Some recent archaeological discovery is not going to dissuade me from the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I won’t let some recent finding by society make me doubt things of God.
I refuse to let my testimony of the important things be shaken by a policy. We must do our best not to get hung up on a moment. I can’t fully comprehend eternity but I still try to put things into an eternal perspective. The bigger picture is that God guides this church. It doesn’t mean our issues, doubts, and questions will be resolved today, next week, next month, or even in this life. But it will get resolved. I know that. And if you’re experiencing a faith crisis I would suggest praying. Don’t always ask for your question to get answered or for it to be “resolved” by your definition. Ask for peace. And then be willing to accept that peace and move on. That’s important. You will receive peace. But if you dwell and dwell and dwell on the doubt the peace will leave, Satan will win back his portion. Have faith that your question will be answered at some point and move forward. I know that’s easier said than done in many instances.
There are so many things I don’t understand. Faith comes with the hope that I’ll one day understand.
I think that’s the lesson to take from this. God is watching. He loves us. Things will work the way they need to. When we get ourselves worked up, worried, concerned, frustrated, even angry, He can speak peace to our souls if we seek it. He can speak peace to our souls even if we don’t know how desperately we need it.
I’ll end with a quote I heard from a recent meditation:
“If we can accept that life has changed even though it’s hard, if we can surrender to the fact that all we can do is move on then we won’t experience the same level of stress we would have had we resisted our circumstances. And if we can remind ourselves that this pain we’re feeling will change, that it will soften… we’ll heal and feel joy again much sooner. So, in times when there’s nothing that we can do to change our circumstances, in times we feel stressed and uncertain and overwhelmed, the most kind and compassionate thing we can do for ourselves is to surrender to what is.”
I would add, surrender to God. If we surrender to Him, He will take care of us.
No Coincidences 