No Coincidences

Tag: comfort

  • Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

    Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

    We’ve been having a difficult time with Ivy’s sleeping the last couple weeks.  This morning I woke up and Beth was awake.  I asked if Ivy got up during the night.

    Beth laughed.

    Not a good sign.

    Beth said yes Ivy did get up during the night.  She said she was rocking Ivy and could tell that Ivy was not going to go back to sleep.  So she did something drastic.

    Warning: this strategy is not recommended, and we know full and well this is NOT a good idea. 

    Beth said she GOT IN IVY’S CRIB WITH HER.  My first thoughts, it didn’t break?

    I looked at Beth and said instead, “…is that ok?”

    Beth responded that of course no, it’s not ideal.  It’s not safe and the crib could have broken.  All bad things.  Like the title of the post says, Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures. 

    Beth continued to tell me that after a while she got out of the crib and successfully returned to our bedroom. A hero had slain the dragon. A cute little booty-up-in-the-air-dragon, but a dragon nonetheless.

    She said she got into bed and Ivy started to stir and cry.  Beth asked me if I remembered in the middle of the night her saying, “oh no.”  Beth told me I then started patting her on her back.  I vaguely remember this.

    But then a miracle happened!  Ivy went back to sleep.  Hallelujah.

    After hearing Beth’s tale, I started to meditate to prepare for the day. My mind drifted to this story as the mind is wont to do during meditation. I thought about that moment when Ivy cried and very well should have continued screaming until one of us came to get her.

    A past successful night of sleep resistance. The smug face of a champion saying, “I’m the boss here,” cross-legged and all.

    The coolest visual came to me as I was meditating. You see, that night was the first time in months that I slept a night without getting out of bed. MONTHS.

    This is the visual that came to me. Ivy started to cry, and God said, “someone do something!” And a legion, thousands of angels came pouring out of heaven to comfort and console Ivy back to sleep. Heavenly Father was like, “give that man one full night in his bed.”

    It was a true miracle and that’s the only possible explanation.

    So I say, thank you Heavenly Father, I sure needed that.

    After a good night’s sleep

    Sleep training here we come.

  • RIP Coach

    RIP Coach

    I often think about the people God put around me in my life.  I’m obviously not the center of the universe, but sometimes, when I think about all those who have looked out for me throughout my life, it’s hard not to feel like that.

    There’s an individual in my life who played a critical role at two of the most important junctures in my life.  He was a dear friend, coach, mentor. 

    What’s so funny is, Coach Gonzalez never actually coached me.  Jessie Gonzalez was the athletic director at my high school.  Coach Gonzalez got close with most of the teams he looked over as athletic director.  The basketball program was no exception.

    My senior year at Cimarron we went to a tournament in Hawaii.  Coach Gonzalez came on that trip to “watch” us, or chaperone, I guess.  On that trip, Coach Gonzalez went from Coach Gonzalez to Gonzo, or just Coach.

    Gonzo looked out for me throughout high school.  Many don’t know this now, but I needed a lot of looking out for at that time. 

    I had bonded with Gonzo a bit on the Hawaii trip, but he wasn’t someone I would have considered a close friend or confidant.  That is until I really, really needed someone to talk to.  Then he was there, at the most difficult time of my life.  Somehow, for reasons I won’t understand until I see the bigger picture, Gonzo was the phone call I made.  He helped me through some very difficult things. I look forward to speaking to God, and Him showing me how critical that moment was.  I look forward to seeing why Gonzo was there at that precise moment, and why God made sure I reached out to him.

    We stayed in loose contact as I left high school.

    Gonzo had a few of us he took under his wing and looked out for.  I felt truly blessed to be “one of his boys.”

    After high school, this fascinating thing happened where the roles Gonzo played in my life morphed.  He went from 100% mentor to 50% mentor and 50% friend.  Gonzo was only 11 years older than me.  Not that many years, in the grand scheme. 

    In 2015 I went to a birthday party in Houston.  It was a relative of Gonzo’s and made no sense for me to be there.  It was really just an excuse to go to Houston and see Gonzo, who had moved to Michigan, and I hadn’t seen since high school.  That trip is so memorable.  I’m not going to elaborate any further.  During that trip Gonzo stayed a 50% mentor but also became one of my closest friends, a lifelong friend.

    The second, extremely critical cross roads in my life-  I was trying to return to church.  Who did I turn to?  Who talked me through a year plus of difficulty, repentance, trials, temptations, questions, doubts, uncertainties?  Countless hours were spent on the phone with him.  He was going to see me through.

    Gonzo isn’t a member of my church.  He’s a member of a grander organization.  He’s a brother and an angel that was here to look over me and guide me.  I’m not sure I’d be an active member of my church today without his guidance. That was the power of Coach.  He didn’t need to be a member of my church to help me with something so important.  He only needed to listen, love me, help me.

    Another moment I’ll never forget, I was only a couple months into trying to return into activity in the Church.  Satan was hard at work in those first months.  I could go on and on about what he put before me during those months.

    One of those temptations was a staycation at my favorite place at the time, Talking Sticks Resort.  I was still playing poker.  During this weekend that TSR gave me a free suite to stay in, there was a huge summer pool party.  My room overlooked the pool, of course.

    Imagine me for a moment.  Just a couple months into not drinking.  Here I am at Talking Stick Resort, in a super nice room, overlooking a pool filled with beautiful people and all my temptations.  I was literally in the great and spacious building.  I had alcohol in the fridge.  For those who don’t know this feeling, I can’t describe the pull.  I don’t have words to describe the need to drink alcohol, go to the pool, let myself fully embrace this staycation.

    I had worked so hard.  I was going to church and making good choices.  Surely, I could give myself this one weekend, right?

    I was going to drink and join this party.  There was really no doubt.  As much as I told myself I wouldn’t, I was going to. 

    I can’t remember if I called him.  There’s a chance he called me.  I talked to Coach Gonzo.  In true Jessie fashion, he didn’t tell me not to drink.  He talked me through it.  He told me it was a choice I had to make.  He reminded me how hard I’d worked to return to church and stop drinking.

    Then, almost nonchalantly, as if an afterthought, Coach said the most critical thing.  He said, “You can drink and get wild and crazy, but man, after not drinking for as long as you’ve gone, tomorrow is going to suck.  That hangover is going to be bad.  Hangover aside, how are you going to feel about yourself in the morning?”

    That was all I needed to hear.

    For those wondering, I did join the pool party.  I hung out, walked around.  I didn’t embrace the party.  I owe Jessie, Coach, Gonzo for that.  I may owe him my now 5 years of sobriety.

    Jessie Gonzalez left this stage of his coaching journey 6/8/21.  He had some new people to coach and mentor, and he couldn’t do that here.  I will miss him dearly.  I already wonder who I will turn to when I need to be guided through the next trial.  Part of me thinks he could move on because he already got me to the point where I can take care of myself.  Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t need him anymore. The greater and more comforting truth is that you always need a mentor and friend like Gonzo, and he’s still there for me, more than ever now.

    He was light.  And he was joy.  Nobody brought together a room like him. 

    He protected me from harm while here, both physically and spiritually.

    I thought of something interesting last night.  It hit me that Gonzo likely, just recently, had his life review.  It brought me so much joy to think of him getting to see all the good he had done.  I considered him getting to see every moment he impacted me and how big a role he played in my life.  I thought about the net of goodness and light he spread while he was here.

    It brought a smile to my face to know that he got to see his Savior.  He was embraced, and loved, and free from the difficulties of this world.

    He can coach in purity now, for, a purer heart there never was. 

    I miss him a lot now. Though I can’t hear his voice or see his face, he’ll continue to be with me, coaching from above. I look forward to the reunion.

    I love you Jessie, Coach, Gonzo, and I thank you for all you did for me.

  • Organized Religion

    Organized Religion

    What do you think the point of organized religion is?

    I had an obvious realization recently, only recently.  The point of organized religion is to bring you closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  If organized religion doesn’t bring you closer to God, then why do it?  I think it’s why we see so many people disenfranchised with organized religion.  In their hearts and souls, they know and hope what organized religion will bring – closeness with God.  When it doesn’t do that (and in fact sometimes does the opposite) they move away from it.

    The second point of organized religion: to bring us peace. 

    This second part isn’t as simple as “I belong to a church so I am happy and peaceful.” We know that Christianity is not always comfortable. This peace is bigger than worldly comfort. This peace is the knowledge that you are right with God. This peace is more eternal than this life.

    Why don’t organized religions do these two things?  Some do, and I’m not discounting those who come closer to God and find peace in any faith.  My point stands, that a lot of people have moved away from organized religion.  Why?  Why don’t most organized churches bring us closer to God or bring us peace?  They don’t have the proper authority from heaven to do so.

    God, through revelation has told us exactly what we need to do to come closer to Him and to have peace:

    1. Faith in Jesus Christ
      • Start by simply believing in Jesus Christ.  Believe He was born, believe He lived, believe He is the son of God, believe He died for you and your sins.
    2. Repentance
      • Once you believe, be better.  Don’t take for granted the suffering Christ went through for you.  Pray to God and ask forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and continue to make.
    3. Baptism
      • Religion has corrupted this simple principle.  All God asks is you make a symbolic gesture to show that you have faith in Him, faith in Jesus Christ, and will remember them.  Then use that show of faith to change and be better.  God has asked us to be baptized.  Follow His commandments and be baptized. 
    4. Gift of the Holy Ghost
      • The world is ever distracting and evil.  God has given us someone to provide strength.  The Holy Ghost is one with God and Jesus Christ and can be with us always.
      • I have the perfect example to help illustrate the important role the Holy Ghost plays.  I received a text from a friend one afternoon while I was working telling me his dad had passed away.  My friend didn’t want me to find out over social media, so he texted me.  When I read it I initially thought selfishly.  I was at work.  There wasn’t anything I could do.  I wanted to kneel and pray and cry.  But as I was sitting there something happened.  As clear as if a person whispered in my ear, I heard and felt a message.  Clear as day I knew important things.  This was my friend.  He was hurting.  Clear as day, “go to your friend.”  I’m not affectionate, it’s hard for me, ask my wife.  Beth knows that better than anyone.  It’s not in my nature to want to go comfort and cry with a friend.  That seems hard and vulnerable.  But in that very important moment I know the Holy Ghost came to me and directed me.  I know it was important for me, and I believe it was important for my friend.  The Holy Ghost did that.  I know that because I’ve worked so hard to be able to hear when the Holy Ghost speaks to me.  I have so many examples of that.  I could go on for days about the important moments that the Holy Ghost guided me.

    After the Holy Ghost, the final step: endure to the end.  Take the sacrament each week to renew your covenants from baptism.  Repent every day.  Remember Jesus Christ every day.  That’s it.  That brings you closer to God.  I know because it has for me.

    People don’t change overnight.  I know to many it seemed like I changed overnight.  I didn’t.  It was years of slowly changing habits, changing thoughts.  Many saw first-hand who I used to be but didn’t see the slow, gradual change to who I am now.  I always told myself I was “good.”  What good was me telling myself I was good if my actions and my selfishness said otherwise?  Four years ago, if I received the text I mentioned above I would have said “I’m sorry” and “let me know if you need anything.”  Today, I’m different.  I’m different because of Jesus Christ.

    What’s important?  I know why I’m here.  I know where I come from.  I know where I’m going. This brings peace.

  • Recovery Update

    Recovery Update

    Quick update on my recovery.  Nothing short of a miracle. The cover picture you’ve already seen is my head and arm today. It’s amazing. Read to the end to see the healing my head has gone through. Be warned, it is NOT pretty.

    There has been real fear that I would have a permanent divot in my head.  Like a mini crater.  It was a likelihood that I would have a permanent bald spot.  There were concerns about it healing and sealing up properly.  There were many concerns. 

    I never concerned myself with much of this.  It was something Beth and others would discuss.  For one, I’m old, married, with a kid anyways.  I always thought a bald spot would bother me.  Once you get old, who really cares.  Secondly, I didn’t concern myself with it because I knew it would work itself out.

    Where I used to fear touching because there was a hole and I didn’t want to fully know what was going on back there, is now just a scab.  Where we thought I might have a permanent crater and baldness, you can’t even tell there is an injury.  My hair has grown long and now it blends in with the scab that has filled in my head.

    There was some concern about how my arm might heal.  I briefly had thoughts about whether the healing skin would tighten up and restrict movement.  It’s my shooting shoulder!  I set aside those concerns.  It would heal or it wouldn’t.  I wish I had the poetic ability to properly describe how it has transformed.  From extremely painful, you’ve seen the pictures, to basically looking like a scratch.  As of right now, it looks like I got a mild sunburn.

    The third thing aside from my head and arm that was a concern was the helicopter bill.  Our initial bill was for $46,198.50. You can imagine this would cause some amount of stress.  I can say that Beth was pretty stressed about it.  I say this with little pride, I like to think she was positively affected by my calm outlook.  This is more due to our different demeanors than anything.  It’s something I’ve written about before.  Where Beth is pragmatic and planning, I like to think God will take care of it.  See The Chance of Faith for more on that.  God is likely more on Beth’s side.  But I was not worried.  We would have to pay it, or we wouldn’t.  Either way, God was watching.

    Despite my lack of worry and naïve, innocent belief that all would work out, I was still not looking forward to paying $46,000.  For that reason, it was quite a relief when, after Beth’s work with forms and paperwork, our bill was dramatically decreased.  I won’t give the exact amount, leave some intrigue, but I will say the decrease was ridiculous.

    What’s the moral of the story?

    I’m lucky?

    Yes, I am.

    I mentioned when I was on the ATV my brother gave me a priesthood blessing.  I asked him 3 days after the accident what he said in the blessing.  He replied that I was blessed that I would heal, and Beth wouldn’t lose me anytime soon. Again, my healing has been nothing short of miraculous.  Anyone who has seen my head progress over the past 6 weeks is blown away.  It’s unbelievable. 

    Am I lucky?

    Yes, I am.

    When I was 25 years old, I was ordained an Elder and given the Melchizedek Priesthood.  I was so excited I invited every person I knew to be there.  I was receiving the power and authority of God, to act in the name of Jesus Christ.  I could heal, bless, baptize, and give the gift of the holy ghost.  It was the most important moment in my life at that point.

    Here is my testimony.  The priesthood is the power and authority of God gifted to His children here on earth.  When my brother laid his hands on my head and blessed me with health, it wasn’t the average prayer.  The power that coursed from his hands to my bleeding head, the authority I myself had given him just months prior, that power literally healed me.  That blessing was in affect and ordained by God.  My brother worked hard to be worthy to bless me in that moment.  That blessing came from heaven.

    The priesthood authority is not mythical.  It is not imaginary.  It is a real power to act in God’s name.  When I was blessed on that ATV, I was healed.  I know it as sure as I am still breathing and typing this. 

    It’s a miracle how I’ve healed.  I couldn’t heal like this without divine authority.  I couldn’t heal like this unless God intended it to be.  I was blessed by his power and authority.  Why was I at peace throughout this process?  Because 3 days in I asked my brother what he blessed me with that day.  When he said, “you’ll heal,” I knew it would be.  There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. 

    I can’t thank my Heavenly Father enough for what he has blessed me with.  Last week I was able to bless my daughter with the same priesthood authority.  I know the blessing I gave my daughter was ordained by God and will also be in full affect.  I can’t thank God enough for the priesthood He has blessed me with.  How it blesses my life and my family’s life every day.

    I know that the authority to act in God’s name must come by the proper channels.  I know that Joseph Smith was visited by Peter, James, and John and given the keys to this priesthood power.  I know the Church of Jesus Christ was restored and we are blessed by His delegating those keys to us, to simple, flawed man.  He has trusted us with power.  I am grateful to Joseph Smith for restoring the priesthood power and authority.  I’m grateful for every blessing I’ve received and given in my life. 

    I know that God has authorized this. I look forward to the day when I can kneel before him in humble amazement and ask how He could love us so much, that He would give us all He has.

    This my testimony in the sacred name of Jesus Christ.

    ________________________________________

    I will provide some picture evidence of the miraculous nature of my recover.

    *****WARNING*****

    Please don’t keep scrolling if you get queasy easily. These are pictures I refused to look at until today. You can call me a wimp, but I had to step outside for some fresh air after seeing them. You’ve been warned.

    2/1/21:

    2/3/21

    2/8/21:

    2/16/21:

    2/18/21:

    2/24/21:

    3/3/21:

  • God, Sin, and Joy

    God, Sin, and Joy

    *Edit -Two days before posting this I read this in Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins:

    “Let’s consider the habit of smoking cigarettes… They contribute to everything from cancer to heart disease… People have every reason in the world not to smoke. Yet the tobacco industry continues to profit, and millions of people continue to smoke cigarettes, with more starting all the time. Why is that?

    People may learn to enjoy the experience of smoking, but is that what got them started?.. What happened when they first smoked? They hated it. They coughed and gagged and felt nauseated. Their body said, ‘This stuff is terrible. Get it away from me.’ In most cases if your own physcal evidence tells you something is bad, you would expect to listen. So why don’t people do that with smoking? Why do they continue to smoke until the body gives in and finally becomes addicted?

    They do it because they’ve been reframed as to what smoking means, and then that new representation and state have been anchored into place. Someone with a great deal of knowledge about persuasion has spent millions and millions of dollars to convince the public that smoking is something desirable. Through skillful advertising, clever images and sounds were used to put us in positive-feeling states; then those desired states (paradigm shift) were associated with or linked to a product called cigarettes. Through massive repetition, the idea of smoking has been linked with various desirable states. There’s no inherent value or social content to a piece of paper wrapped around tiny tobacco leaves. But we’ve been persuaded that smoking is sexy, or suave, or adult, or macho…

    How crazy is this? What in the world does putting carcinogens into your lungs have to do with any desirable state? But advertisers do on a mass scale exactly what we’ve talked about in this book. They put out images that put you in a receptive, elevated state-and at the peak of the experience, they anchor you with their message. Then they repeat it on television, in magazines, or on the radio so that the anchor gets constantly reinforced and triggered.”

    My own emphasis (underlines) and commentary (in parentheses) were added. Eerie. This book is copyright 1986. Do you think advertisers have let up? Do we think Lucifer is deciding to go easier on us? Anyone reading the above might say, “well cigarettes aren’t cool anymore, and they’re definitely not advertised the same.” Go to any bar and look at the mass of people outside. Then if you really think things have changed, pay closer attention to the next liquor/beer commercial you see. Shouldn’t take long. We’re bombarded by them all day, every day. I’ll now get to my original post. That was a long side-tangent.

    ___________________________________________________

    Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once gave an address at BYU where he talked about a discussion he had. The discussion was about the influence of evil and the consequences of bad choices.  Elder Cook was given an interesting hypothetical: how would Lucifer present his plan to an advertising agency?

    “The adversary described his dilemma: he and his followers had rebelled and rejected the Father’s plan and had come to understand that they could not prevail against God. Lucifer understood that while the Father’s plan was about joy and happiness, his own plan resulted in grief and misery. The problem, Lucifer explained to the ad executive, was how to attract followers.”

    Lucifer would determine that the only way he could win would be to achieve a “paradigm shift.”  He would need to convince us that what he wanted us to do would result in happiness, joy, and freedom while following God would result in misery, lack of freedom, and bondage. 

    “This hypothetical meeting serves a useful purpose. The truth is, not only do the enemies of the Father’s plan attempt to undermine the doctrine and principles of the plan, but they also attempt to mischaracterize the blessings that flow from the plan. Their basic effort is to make that which is good, righteous, and joyful seem miserable.”

    It’s an amazing thing to consider how humans gravitate towards what destroys them.  As the lyrics from OneRepublic’s song Counting Stars says, “Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.”

    Consider the most obvious examples.  Everyday millions of people drink literal poison.  Here’s the amazing thing, you just read that and depending on who you are you thought of a different beverage from someone else.  There are multiple poisonous drinks consumed every day.  Am I referring to soda or alcohol?  Both?  How about cigarettes?  I’m blown away every time I see someone smoking one.  Like, “you know that is actually decaying your body from the inside out right?”  Don’t care.

    There are certain things that we have been asked to avoid in this modern day.  We don’t always know why we avoid certain things.  What I do know is that faithfully trying to follow God leads to blessings, both spiritual and temporal.  

    This leads to an important question.

    Why do you think God doesn’t want you to sin?

    Is it because He wants to control and tell you what to do?

    Why wouldn’t He just force you not to sin then?  He’s God.

    Why does God hate and abhor sin?

    God hates and detests sin because He know what the results of sin are: unhappiness, pain, suffering.

    God doesn’t hate sin; He hates the unhappiness it leads to.

    God is love.  God is peace.  God is joy.

    I think about this often.  I used to wallow in my sin and wonder why I was so miserable.  Now that I’ve drawn closer to God, I’m so much happier.  I see others stuck in the same pattern I was in and I desperately wish they would see there is another way.  You don’t need to drink alcohol until you forget, to find happiness.  You don’t need the lifestyle you think is bringing you joy, but you know is not.

    Does God want you to be happy?  An emphatic YES.

    Does God want you to have freedom?  An even more emphatic YES.

    God would rather you have freedom even more than happiness.  Otherwise, He would force you to make the choices that bring you joy.  He refuses to do that.  Your freedom means more to God even more than your happiness.  To find true happiness you must choose it.  To find true love you must gravitate towards it.  We see this in what He’s given us, our agency. We always have the option to choose.

    God’s plan, the Plan of happiness is meant to do just that.  Bring happiness.

    That doesn’t mean we all find joy the exact same way.  That doesn’t mean we’re all on the same path.  But I do believe the path of greatest joy leads to the being who gave us this whole experience.  If life is hard, come to God and he will lighten your burdens.  If life is joyful, we owe it to Him.  Joy, growth, and freedom go hand in hand.  We are meant to find these things during our mortal journey. 

    I use alcohol as an example because I believe it’s the easiest to use as an example, and because it’s what I have personal experience with.  I’ve tried that life.  I know alcohol doesn’t bring happiness.  In fact, the terrible impact of alcohol on young brains and adult lives is now medically established. 

    A study from Harvard in the 1940s on success and happiness found:

    “This study contains three significant insights.  First, adult happiness has a high correlation with childhood family happiness, especially love and affection from parents.  Second is the importance of a healthy, stable marriage to lifelong happiness. Third is the negative effect of alcohol on marital and lifetime success and happiness.  Alcohol abuse touches one-third of families in the United States and is involved in one-fourth of hospital admissions.  It plays a major role in death, bad health, and diminished accomplishment.”

    The above quote was from the 1940s!! Has alcohol consumption gone down?

    Notice the three things this study found that lead to happiness:

    1. Love and affection from parents
    2. Stable marriage
    3. Alcohol avoidance

    It’s no wonder the family has been attacked so aggressively the past 80 years. The paradigm shift has officially happened. Society says it’s about me, not my kids, kids take away MY freedom. Divorce. Drink and be merry. This isn’t happiness.

    When the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored on the earth, soon after, the advice was given to abstain from strong drinks (Doctrine and Covenants section 89).  The Word of Wisdom has blessed my life.  It was established a century before studies started to prove its temporal benefit.

    The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings happiness.  I know this personally, from my experience following it.  It only occurred to me recently that many of my friends and people I care a lot about really don’t think this happiness is an option for them.  I know many of my friends and people around me are happy.  That’s not what I’m saying.  What I’m saying is there is always more joy to be gained.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ isn’t an exclusive club.  I wasn’t chosen to be a part of it because I’m lucky.  I’m a part of it because it makes me happy, and that option is available to everyone. 

    I know a lot of people think “organized religion” or “God” or maybe even “a family” isn’t meant for them.  I just want to remind anyone taking the time to read, happiness is for everyone.  Happiness is something we all can find.

    I know many of my friends think I’ve become a religious nut.  Good.  I have.  The reason is because I’m happier than I’ve ever been.  I used to invite people around me to bars, or parties, or to gamble. I’ve invited people to participate with me in things I thought brought me happiness.  So why wouldn’t I invite every person I come in contact with now that I’ve found real happiness?

    I wish I could shout it from the rooftops.  I wish I was bolder about it than I am.  I wish I could tell the entire world:  you deserve to be happy.  Find your happiness, however you need to.  But I will tell you this, Jesus Christ is the source of all love.  Therefore, He is the source of all truth and light.  For that reason, He is the source of all happiness.  I’ve learned that for myself and hope we all can, on our timeline.

    I know where I come from.  I know where I’m going.  I know why I’m here.  I know what happens when I leave here.  I know I’ll be with my family forever.  I know my daughter and my wife, who I’ve known for countless days, going all the way back to our premortal existence, I know I will be with them for eternity.  This is true joy.

    I know these things.  Knowing these things bring me comfort.  Knowing these things makes me happy.  The choices and changes I’ve made in my life have brought me happiness I never thought I deserved.  This happiness is for everyone.