No Coincidences

Tag: Conversion

  • Influence of One

    Influence of One

    I’d like to relay a powerful story from LeGrand Richards’ book Just to Illustrate. In the book, he tells the story of meeting a man who claimed his father was one of the first converts of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Mississippi in 1840.

    This was shared with LeGrand in 1940. Since the conversion of his father in 1840, his father and his father’s descendants had contributed 100 YEARS of missionary service to the Church of Jesus Christ. Fifteen of the man’s descendants were at that time serving active missions. LeGrand relates that a couple years later he met that same man who told LeGrand the number was now 160 years of missionary service.

    “You see,” said the man, “when you add ten or fifteen years each year from ten or fifteen missionaries in the field, it does not take long to add another hundred years.”

    LeGrand then says, “The missionary who brought that man into the church back in 1840 might not have felt that he had accomplished much, especially if he were his only convert. Yet in a hundred years there was one hundred and sixty years of missionary work from that one man and his descendants. Add to that all the converts made by their converts and their descendants, and you would almost have a nation of men, all as the result of that one conversion.”

    This is a great follow-up to “Teaching in heaven.” 

    We should never be discouraged about our small efforts in sharing the gospel. We don’t know how the world could be changed by that one invitation.

    Think how much joy that missionary is having in heaven, watching as light, love, and peace is brought to thousands upon thousands of individuals because of the one person he shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with in 1840.

    What a powerful thought and what motivation to share the light we have with others.

  • Sent from God – Missionaries

    Sent from God – Missionaries

    The story of Ammon is one of my favorites in the Book of Mormon. Ammon went amongst the Lamanites who wanted to kill and murder him to teach them about Jesus Christ. I wrote about a great conversion moment I had from the story of Ammon before. Here I am 4 years later, still being inspired by the story of Ammon.

    This time it was chapter 18 that struck me. Ammon had just performed a miraculous feet, defending the flocks of the king from a group of men trying to scatter them. In defending the sheep, Ammon smote off the arms of so many men that the other servants he was with felt the need to collect them and show them to the king. It is here where King Lamoni, in chapter 18 verse 2 says,

    “Surely, this is more than a man. Behold, is not this the Great Spirit who doth send such great punishmnets upon this people, because of their murders?”

    Ammon was so powerful that the king believed him to be God.

    In verse 18, King Lamoni asks Ammon if he is the Great Spirit.

    Ammon’s simple reply in verse 19 is, “I am not.”

    Their conversation continues and Ammon begins to teach Lamoni about the one true God. Lamoni asks in verse 33, “Art thou sent from God?”

    This is what jumped out to me and made me think. It wasn’t long ago that King Lamoni thought Ammon was actually God. It’s a natural progression, I think, to then ask if he was sent from God. Ammon’s reply is found in verses 34 and 35:

    “I am a man; and man in the beginning was created after the image of God, and I am called by his Holy Spirit to teach these things unto this people, that they may be brought to a knowledge of that which is just and true;

    And a portion of that Spirit dwelleth in me, which giveth me knowledge, and also power according to my faith and desires which are in God.”

    I am called by his Holy Spirit.

    This made me think. Ammon could have simply replied, yes, I am from God. Instead, he chose to use the question as an opportunity to expound and teach about God and our relationship to Him.

    What do missionaries say when a stranger or someone they’re teaching asks the simple question, “Are you sent from God?”

    I hope it is without hesitation that the response comes, a resounding: YES.

    This led me to think even deeper about this. King Lamoni was asking if God guided Ammon there. Ammon replied that God had. But what if Lamoni was asking if Ammon came directly from the presence of God to teach him? That question isn’t that crazy after asking the person if they were God. Ammon could have equally replied to that question: Yes. He came from the presence of God to teach King Lamoni and his people.

    Every missionary serving Jesus Christ came from the presence of God to this earth with the purpose of going on a mission, teaching others about God, and bringing others unto Christ.

    How often do our missionaries think this way? I hope daily. It is a powerful thing to understand that you were sent directly from God for this important mission.

    Neil A Maxwell when speaking of the star that signaled Christ’s birth said,

    “The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millennia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the babe has given at least equal attention to the placement of each of us in precise human orbits so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives so that our light might not only lead others but warn them as well.”

    God knows our missionaries. God loves our missionaries. God sent our missionaries, directly from His presence, to shine their lights and illuminate this world. I am so grateful for our missionaries.

  • God Loves a Returned Sinner

    God Loves a Returned Sinner

    Luke 15:7 reads:

    “I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

    Why does heaven rejoice over a returned sinner?

    Why does Christ love a returned sinner? This should be obvious. Christ loves a returned sinner because they’re utilizing His Atonement, the great gift He gave them. He suffered for that gift. Why wouldn’t He rejoice over it being used?

    It’s very important to point out that this doesn’t make the returned sinner any better than the constantly faithful. Do you think God is up there thinking, “you were always upright. Too bad you didn’t sin some more so I could have increased joy”? Of course not. God loves the consistently faithful. I think another important point here is that we’re all sinners. So, by this scripture we can know, that God loves all who repent of sins. We all sin.

    An individual from history who was a clear sinner, making evil choices, even if he didn’t realize it, was Paul. Paul ended up being one of the greatest missionaries ever but started as the greatest persecutor of the church. Paul received a miraculous visit from Jesus Christ. This converted him and he instantly changed his ways. As we read the scriptures, Paul’s change seems instant. But I believe there was a reason he had to travel blind for three days. I believe his change was actually slow and required a lot of humility.

    Paul became an obvious example of Luke 15:7, heaven rejoicing. Paul was such a go-getter of persecution; the Heavens must have been excited to have him on their team once he converted. Imagine how the angels rejoiced when Paul turned to the Lord because they now knew how ferocious he would be for the Lord.

    Peter can be seen as another example of someone who didn’t always make the right choices. Isn’t it amazing to read the New Testament and consider how flawed the individuals were who Christ chose to spread His word and be His ministers? Peter was no exception. You can look to Peter’s three denials of Christ as a great scriptural moment representing needing to learn a lesson, repent, and double down on conversion and commitment.

    Peter made a huge, and life-altering mistake by denying Christ those three times. It was life-altering for how it helped Peter change his life. It could have been life-altering in how it turned Peter away from Christ. He could have gone the other way. Christ knew He wouldn’t. That’s why Christ picked Peter.

    The show “The Chosen” does an interesting job of depicting Peter. What if Peter was kind of a bad guy? Not a bad heart, but did some bad things. A rough guy. A guy that made a lot of mistakes before he met Jesus and fell in as one of his apostles. Then, slowly, over much time around the Master, Peter became His primary apostle. Peter eventually became the president of Christ’s church.

    The student manual for the book of Mark notes:

    “Mark, more than the other Gospel writers, recorded the disciples’ shortcomings (see Mark 4:36-41; 6:52; 8:14-21). The disciples’ weaknesses stand in contrast to their greath faith and successes, which are depicted in the book of Acts, helping us appreciate the transformation brought about by the Resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Ghost.”

    Never judge a sinner. They can become the most kind, most gentle, most Godly person. We all have Godhood in us. One day our sins will be in great contrast to our faith and successes when we ultimately attain our full potential.

    The Bible Dictionary definition of “conversion” states:

    “Denotes changing one’s views, in a conscious acceptance of the will of God (emphasis added, Acts 3:19). If followed by continued faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism in water for the remission of sins, and the reception of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, conversion will become complete and will change a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person-a new creature in Christ Jesus (see 2 Cor. 5:17). Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing (emphasis added, see Luke 22:32; D&C 112:12-13). To labor for the conversion of one’s self and others is a noble task, as in Ps. 51:13; Dan. 12:3; James 5:19-20; Alma 26; D&C 18:15-16.”

    The part that stood out to me most from that definition was that complete conversion comes after many trials. I know it did for me. I had to experience the bitter to appreciate the sweet. I had to see how dark life could feel to appreciate Christ’s light. I know my testimony is stronger because I had to learn how dark it can be.

    Did Peter experience his change through trials? Did Paul? I think they did. Those who go through the greatest trials and then turn to the Lord become his most devout followers. Paul was blind. That’s quite a trial. But when he saw the light, he never turned away from it again.

    We all don’t receive miraculous visitations from Jesus Christ like Paul did, or get to work with Christ side-by-side like Peter, but we can still feel His presence, serve Him, and feel what it’s like to have Him by our side. Imagine how different your actions would be day-to-day if Christ was with you? Well, He is.

    Sometimes I worry that faithful, day-one-never-wander latter-day saints are missing this. This devotion to the cause. This understanding of how much you need Him. It’s why trials happen. Otherwise, we’d all walk merrily through this life, never understanding the true depth of the Atonement and how desperately we need Him.

    Now, trials come in all shapes and sizes. Just because someone appears to never have gone through “it”, doesn’t mean they’ve never gone through it. We never know the internal struggles, challenges, and difficulties someone faces in their faith. It’s usually not on the outside. But if you see a devoted person to God, you can assume they’ve been through something. It’s those somethings that bring us to Him.

    God loves a returned sinner. Remember that whenever you make a mistake. While we don’t want to make mistakes, we always want to do our best, God will welcome us back with open arms when we make mistakes and repent. It’s a comforting thought whenever we mess up. God knows our heart. Part of making mistakes and repenting is truly regretting it. This doesn’t mean beating yourself up about it or getting too down on yourself, but it does mean truly feeling regret and remorse for mistakes. This can’t be faked. God knows your heart.

    I think we can learn something really neat from examples like Peter and Paul. No matter how far we stray, God has a place for us. God doesn’t look at what we’ve been or what we are, but what we will be. He knows what we will be. He sees that in us. I’d guess it’s His greatest desire that we see in ourselves what He already knows is there.

    Be like Peter and Paul. Be someone Christ can pick.

    God loves a returned sinner.

  • Thoughts on Beth’s Conversion Story

    Thoughts on Beth’s Conversion Story

    These are my thoughts on last week’s post, The Journal Entry of Beth’s Conversion Story. If you haven’t read that yet, read it first by clicking the link.

    “I wanted so badly to have the life I thought I knew we could have.  But we were sent here with free will and someone needs to want to change in order to truly change…”

    That statement hits hard.  To be clear with all reading: I have many similarities to Beth’s story.  I also have many similarities to her boyfriend John.  You can’t change until you’re ready to change.

    For anyone who knows my wife, her conversion story gives some perspective on why she is who she is.  We don’t become who we are by happenstance.  There are always experiences, moments, profound MOMENTS that shape us.  That is why we are here. After reading some of Beth’s story, and if you know her, you can start to see why she is caring, considerate, and loving to those around her. It is partly who she is and partly the experiences of her life that have changed her. I can relate. I used to be a self-absorbed punk. It took a lot of small steps to change who I once was.  Her words make me feel what I always know about my wife – she is special. 

    This is all I could picture as I read of Beth’s dream:

    And now this:

    God is great.

    I am lucky.  Beyond lucky.  What did I do to deserve so much?

    How could I think anything but how lucky I truly am as I read my wife’s testimony?  She is strong, and powerful, truly a queen, and we are one.

    As I read, I’m struck by the similarities in our stories.  The falling away, not knowing if / not wanting to come back, the prayer and feeling of atonement, dreams, pushes, promptings, coincidences.

    I’m brought to tears as I read my wife’s story.  All God did to bring us together can be read in between those lines.

    She wrote this April 20, 2016.  I came back to church, where I eventually met her, in March of 2016.  Coincidence?  Come on.

  • The Journal Entry of Beth’s Conversion Story

    The Journal Entry of Beth’s Conversion Story

    This is my wife, Beth’s testimony exactly as written.  Names have been changed.

    In a future post I will give some of my thoughts about this, but for now, the power of her testimony should stand on its own, unencumbered by any comments I could hope to make.

    Here it is.

    The Journal Entry of Beth’s Conversion Story

    April 20, 2016

                   I just read my patriarchal blessing for the second time since I got it. It confirmed promptings I’ve been having lately that I should do some journaling for myself and posterity so, even though it is past midnight I felt it better to do this than mindlessly fall asleep to some Netflix show. The past few years have had so much I don’t know how to fit everything I should write to remember. So, because of my failings as a journal writer, it will have to be a highlight reel of life. I just feel some changes that have occurred are too important to neglect to include.

                   I am in my third year at ASU. I love it, I love learning, but my diagnosis with clinical depression in October 2015 has really been a roadblock in my ability to work hard. Luckily, after dropping out for a semester, I’m slowly starting to feel like myself again. I’m not taking medication anymore but I’ve been hiking often and the feeling I get from pushing myself and being physically fit really serves as a great anti-depressant. So I’m back in school with just 9 credit hours, but hard classes. (1920’s senior thesis, history of college sports, and existentialism) I will probably graduate in about a year and do some sort of graduate school program. I previously had been dead set on going to law school. However, I’ve had to rethink my career path after being diagnosed with the depression episode. I don’t really trust myself to be able to go through law school. I always had 100% confidence in my academic capabilities. Now, I’ve taken a real hit to that confidence. My patriarchal blessing does mention that through my righteousness I will have many different career options. That has been comforting.

                   Life has been full of changes the past year. I think the biggest one that I will write on is about the ending of my very serious relationship with John for 2 ½ years and my decision to come back to church. I dated him from senior year of high school all the way up to just short of my 21st birthday. I really thought I loved him. He and I had plans to even get married one day. We were HS sweethearts and he was what I considered my first real love. I feel a real sense of anger at the situation but I also can’t help but think I will always love who he used to be and what we used to have.

    Initially, since about sophomore year of high school, I was set on not being LDS. I didn’t have a testimony of the Book of Mormon, I didn’t believe what the prophets spoke about. I wanted to live contrary to many of the commandments. I never cared to enter the temple. I was prepared to live that life with John too. We were definitely not living by LDS standards and that is exactly what I wanted. I was perfectly happy breaking the word of wisdom and living contrary to the law of chastity, among other things. Our relationship was never perfect. We fought often. He drank. I remember one day he drank so much he wound up in the hospital knocked out. For approximately 5 hours I sat there watching him, angry, upset, feeling betrayed, but wanting to show compassion. He cheated on me many times. I would often find messages on his phone texting other girls. He was perfectly fine with going out and getting drunk with other girls when I wasn’t around. Dramatic scenarios like these were often. I didn’t like who I was when I was with him. But I lost touch with who I used to be or who I could be. And when there were good times, I felt some amazing love. I just started to realize I had a better potential and I deserved better.

                   The changes came slowly at first. I remember when Clark was on his mission, I had one night where I felt so very, extremely alone. Not just physically but much deeper than that. It was dark. I was overcome by hopelessness. It was a feeling I almost lack the ability to explain. I now think it was a result of separating myself so far from the spirit that the light from Christ dimmed. I was prideful. I hadn’t prayed in years. But I did. I prayed in that moment. Desperately. I pleaded with God, please take this feeling from me even though I know I don’t deserve it. Immediately, my fear dissipated and calm overwhelmed me. That was the first time I understood how real prayer was. I wish I could convey that feeling to others. It was painful, scary, optimistic, and inspiring all at once. That was a start.

                   Any institute classes at ASU helped too. I didn’t mind studying the gospel from an intellectual standpoint so I liked going. I read scriptures. I discussed the gospel. I often was so eager to share what I learned with John. Sometimes he’d listen, other times he’d pretend to. It was awkward. I wanted to share what I found profound and he was resistant. But again, there were slow changes creeping in. I was realizing what the words of the gospel could mean. And he was realizing that he wanted nothing to do with it.

                   The real changes began around the start of 2015. I had quit or was about to quit partaking in most of the big sins I had been living in for years. I had already quit drinking and I was ready to cut-off the intimate aspect of my relationship with John. I had an institute class on the Teachings of the Latter-Day Prophets at this time. For some scheduling reason, I missed that class often. To make up absences we had to write papers on general conference talks. (Which I had never listened to previously in my life) So I did it. And that was a blessing in disguise. Again, I took it as an intellectual opportunity, like listening to Gospel TED Talks. At first I learned a lot. But then I began to feel a lot. I studied the atonement. And the friendship and companionship of Christ. I studied talks on being genuine and being compassionate. I began to slowly feel a change of heart, a softening of a heart that had been proud for many years. And even though I thought I was happy before, I started to feel joy. Real joy. And I started to feel love for others. Real Christ-like love. And I started to understand my divine purpose. The real potential I could live up to. Then came the dreams that gave the final push.

                   I’ve had vivid and detailed dreams for a few years now. Often they are silly. But often they are profound. Sometimes they even come true. I know that for many of us, the spirit speaks to us in dreams. For context, it is important to know I never wanted to get married in the temple before in my life and I never had been the kind of girl to dream excessively of my wedding day either. However, I had about four dreams where I was walking out of the temple in a white dress looking happier than I’d ever been lovingly holding the hand of a man. These dreams always ended right before I saw the face of the man I married. One night, I had the fifth identical dream but this time the man was John.

                   In addition, I had another dream that my friend Mike was home from his mission, in white, crying and saying how proud he was while hugging another person dressed in white. As he turned around it became clear it was John on his baptism day! So with these dreams I thought I knew what it meant! John and I would change our ways, repent, convert, and live happily ever after.

                   But of course that isn’t what happened. As a side note, I now have a different interpretation of those dreams. I think God was showing me what could be. What I should want to be. And as I saw that possibility play out in my dreams but realized that it could not be a reality in real life I had to consider what I truly wanted and expected for myself. After I broke up with John I had the wedding dream only once more. It was once again identical to the dreams before. But I saw the man I was going to marry. It isn’t like I could list a particular physical look I had for him but it’s as if I knew who he was anyway. As if the trust and love I had for him made me know him. And it made me desire so much to strive to one day be endowed so that I will get to marry that man and walk out of the temple with him one day. That was the first time I wanted to go through the temple. I now hope to be endowed and sealed one day.

    So after these dreams I tried to appeal to John, first by asking him to quit drinking. I wanted so badly to have the life I thought I knew we could have. But we were sent here with free will and someone needs to want to change in order to truly change. He did not want to change. The last few months were devastating. I thought I loved John, I was otherwise so happy, but my relationship was suffering. I was starting to open up to the gospel, to build a relationship with Christ. I was doing well in school, I was making many friends. But we had diverged. Thankfully I was blessed to be given so many obvious signs of what was right that I knew without any doubt there was no turning back from the Gospel at this point. I either go forward with this change next to John or I go forward without him. But I had to go forward And so June came, he sat on my front doorstep. We talked kindly but distanced. And that was it. I was sad. The man I thought I loved was gone. But inexplicably I felt so at peace. It felt okay. I felt optimistic. I sensed a hard path ahead but I knew it was going to be worth it.

                   So here I am with that journey under my belt. It has left me at times feeling damaged. I’m generally a confident person but I took a real hit to my self worth after this. The depression has made me feel like I’m not as smart or capable as I thought I was. My failed relationship made me feel I’m not worth someone’s loyalty or commitment That no matter how pretty or smart or funny or confident they think I am that a life with me wasn’t worth giving up something as trivial as alcohol. That my friends weren’t wiling to stick around when I chose to give up sin and follow Christ. But the gospel keeps me going.

                   I can’t wait to love someone that chooses to love me fully back. I hope one day I can trust myself to do that. I hope one day I can give 100% of my love and feel it back. I want to trust that I’m worth someone’s loyalty. I want to trust I’m worth a righteous man. I pray to become better through this trial so I can be worth it one day.

    And in the end of this trial I realize I’m grateful for it. I look to those times where I was given a sign and a testimony loud and clear when I’m beginning to doubt. And I’ve doubted. I was proud enough to think blessings would rain down on me immediately after this big step. They didn’t, at least not in the form I had expected. I’ve dated in the YSA ward but there hasn’t been anyone I’m seriously in to. In fact I almost find myself incapable of emotionally attaching to anyone. I’ve dealt with crippling depression. I lost friends. People decided they would choose John over me. They decided it was better to have the partying John than the sober Beth. I lost direction in my career path. But among all these trials I now understand what is temporary and what is eternal. It was the most alone I had ever felt. But I finally knew I wasn’t really ever alone.

                   I had to go through my own repentance process with the bishop. (Farnsworth then Thurston) It was scary. But I now love and feel the atonement for real. Every time I pray, I thank Heavenly Father for Christ’s atonement. I needed the atonement then, and I need it now. My testimony in the atonement holds me over when my testimony in other aspects is less stable. My testimony of the eternal nature of being is so strong. My testimony of Christ’s personal relationship to us through prayer is tangible.

                   I love Christ. I feel him there because he knows my pain. He’s been my friend when all hope was gone. I’m not completely myself again but I find joy in reaching out to those who I sense also feel alone, damaged, or scared. My trial has given me an ability to reach out to those in pain just as Christ does. And I feel real, Christ-like love that I’ve never felt before. I look at people with a new light now because of it.  I try to understand the principle of forgiveness because I need it. I long to maintain an eternal perspective because I knew what challenges there were to face on Earth yet I boldly said I was ready to do it. And I will continue to do so.

                   I look forward to the day I can look back and understand the ‘why’ of my experiences and trials. But for now I will press on with hope and gratitude. I know my Savior lives. I hope I never doubt it! I hope I never forget. I am so grateful for the hard times. I’m grateful for humility and for this clarity. I’m so grateful for my story.

    Elisabeth Brooke Cannon