No Coincidences

Tag: getting old

  • Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Remember last week when I wrote about The greatest moment of my life every day? Yeah, well here’s the dark side of that smile.

    There’s a serious question/joke every new parent has heard at least 100 times.  Are you getting any sleep?

    Why are we asked this question?

    Because it’s a REAL concern.

    Ivy trying to eat my hand when she should be sleeping

    So, for all those wondering, how has our sleep been?  I wrote about the First 48 Hours.  How have the first five months gone? In a blur would be one way to answer.

    I could go on for a while about sleep training and how much work and effort Beth has put in.  This isn’t a mommy blog so I won’t go into all the detail.  I will say Beth has done an awesome job helping Ivy to sleep.  She usually puts her down between 7pm-8pm.  Ivy will sleep until 6:30am-7:00am with at least one wake-up in the middle of the night.  Some of these wakeups just take putting the pacifier back in her mouth.  Sometimes it’s an hour feeding her a bottle and helping her back to sleep.

    Physically restraining a stubborn baby

    Before I provide my spiritual thought on this, I will stress two points:

    1. Ivy is pretty good overall with her sleeping.  We are blessed.  Beth reminds me of this.  While I have no frame of reference, Beth is in touch with all the mommy’s of the world and knows that babies don’t always sleep the way Ivy does.
    2. Beth does the heavy lifting most nights as I work in the morning.

    As I proceed with my thoughts on getting sleep with a newborn, please refer back to points 1 and 2 often.  Every time you’re thinking, “well Beth is doing all the work, of course you (enter your feelings about my thoughts)…” or “of course it’s not that bad, not all babies sleep like yours has!”  Please refer back to those points.  I am aware of how blessed we’ve been in point one, and I’ve been in point two.

    That said.  My thoughts.

    It hasn’t been that bad.  There.  I said it.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD.  I’ll say this, I think lack of sleep isn’t as bad as interrupted sleep.  There’s something about having to get up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, even if it’s quick and you can go back to sleep.  That’s what made the first couple months so difficult. 

    I recently heard another father describe the newborn sleeping phase as something like advanced sleep deprivation training for the military.  As he said that, I thought, “huh, I don’t think it was THAT bad” (see point 1!).

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth, I made some big changes to everyday habits of mine.  For one, I’ve cut out sugary drinks completely.  For those who know me, that included Hawaiian Punch or soda with lunch and dinner.  That’s A LOT of sugar.  I cut out the juice and soda about 18 months ago.

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth I read a book that led to two other changes.  I started doing a breathing exercise once or twice a day.  According to this book it’s the single most important thing anyone could do to immediately improve their health.  The other thing this book prompted me to start doing was change my breakfast habits.  I’ve always had breakfast every day no matter what. My breakfast every morning is usually cereal and milk.  My cereal is most often not of the healthy variety.  Berry Colossal Crunch (Cap’n Crunch knockoff) and Cinnamon Toasters (Cinnamon Toast Crunch knockoff) are still in my kitchen from our last order before I changed this habit.  Instead of artificial sugar for breakfast, I’ve transitioned to fruit every morning.  Usually grapefruit and blueberries, apples, oranges, or bananas.

    For those keeping score, I’ve cut out Hawaiin Punch, soda, and cereal in the form of straight sugar.

    For those of you wondering if I still eat candy.  Emphatic YES.  Maybe one day this can be cut down in my life.  We’re not there yet.

    As I pondered on the past 5 months, and the difficulty, something occurred to me.  Like I said above, I don’t think it’s been that bad.  Difficult, not debilitating.  As I thought about this, I thought about a scripture.

    Mosiah 24:14-15 reads:

    And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

    And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

    I think this is the most I’ve ever related to this scripture.  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like for burdens to be made light.  The lack of sleep should be killing me.  I have to be on-call every few weeks for work.  A call at 3 in the morning that would take 2 minutes used to infuriate me.  It would ruin my night and the whole next day.  Now a 3am-4am feeding session is a pretty regular occurrence.

    What explains that I haven’t gone into a fit of rage?  For one, I love Ivy passionately. That helps.  But I can’t help but feel like my burdens have been made light.  Heavenly Father knows my prayers have picked up, needing this assistance.

    I’ve wondered how the change in my eating habits has helped my energy.  Does God miraculously give us more energy and uplift us?  He can, of course.  I believe more often He would like to help us by allowing us to help ourselves.  I believe these new habits were inspired and I was guided to them.  I believe it has lightened my burdens, and God continues to lighten my burdens.

    I’m still working on the cheerfully and patient parts.  That I could always improve on.  But I am grateful for God and His help these first few months.  I’ve felt His presence and assistance every day.

    In the end, all the lack of sleep in the world is worth that smile.

  • Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    In November of 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I’m not doing anything real impressive.  I spend the first 10 minutes of every day laying on my back on the ground.  I started by listening to guided meditations on YouTube.  Now I have the Calm App on my phone which I highly recommend.  I rotate between guided meditations and simply laying with my eyes closed, in prayer and thought.  Early on I found meditation to be extremely beneficial.  My days would start off right.  I would be calmer and more patient with any challenge that arose throughout the day.  I know this is hard to gauge and measure.  Maybe I wasn’t calmer or more patient, but I felt more calm and patient.  That has to be almost as good.

    When I started meditating, I immediately noticed answers to prayers.  Those 10 minutes have become the most important 10 minutes of my day.  I look forward to that time to spend with my own thoughts and with God.  It’s an opportunity to slow down and think about what I want to accomplish; in life and for that day.  It’s time to stop and consider all that I have to be grateful for.

    I think I’ve written about his before, but when I was coming back to church, initially a big help was basketball on weekend mornings.  For years my weekends were spent out late.  When I was trying to stop drinking and stop going out as much, Saturday morning (7am) basketball became critical.  It was something I could look forward to.  It motivated me to stay in on a Friday night so I could get up early and play.  I also played Sunday mornings.  They were my two favorite days every week.

    Weekend Warrior

    Sunday morning basketball never conflicted with church.  I was in the Young Single Adult Ward which didn’t meet until 1pm.  I could easily play 7am-10am and have a few hours to shower, relax, read, study, and pray before church began.

    One Sunday morning I got up to play like I always did.  I was walking around my room getting dressed.  It was time to walk out the door to leave so I bent over to pick up my gym bag.  As I started to stand up the craziest thing happened.  My back completely gave out.  Luckily, I was near my bed (which still resided on box springs on the floor, like I liked it) so I literally fell sideways onto my bed.  I was in excruciating pain.  I called my mom and she said to take some ibuprofen, the basic mom guidance stuff.  I still had it in my mind that I could go play.  I was 26 years old, surely, I didn’t actually throw my back out…right?  I quickly realized, I did.

    Me that weekend

    As I laid in my bed, I wondered what to do.  I loved reading my scriptures, especially Sunday mornings after basketball and before church.  So, I pulled out my scriptures and continued to read where I’d left off in the book of Alma.

    I remember reading the story of the sons of Mosiah that morning in Alma 17-27.  I remember being struck by one thing: the sons of Mosiah were offered the kingdom.  They were each individually asked to be the king of their people.  They were asked to rule, to have power, to have the comforts and honors of the world given to them for the rest of their life.  Instead, they chose to forsake worldly possessions and go on a mission to the Lamanites.  One by one they chose to reject kingship and go to a land of people that were open about their desire to kill any Nephite that came into their presence, let alone a Nephite set to inherit the Nephite kingdom.

    What inspired Ammon and his brothers, the sons of Mosiah to forsake the kingdom and instead choose to preach the gospel?  They saw an angel.  I can’t describe exactly what happened to me that day, studying in my bed.  Something happened.  I was so filled with the spirit.  I felt like I was floating.  It was the most uplifting and edifying scripture study I’d ever had.  I grew so much that morning.  I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since.  That morning, along with learning so much about the sons of Mosiah and who I wanted to be, I also learned the value of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

    I don’t think basketball was the worst thing to do on a Sunday morning, far from it.  I think those first few months of Sunday morning basketball had a huge impact on me and helped me stay away from activities it was important for me to stay away from at that time.  That morning though, I came to a crossroad.  The temptations of prior months had lessened.  I was immersing myself in the scriptures and praying daily.  That morning I learned how much I could gain on Sunday mornings. 

    I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since that morning I threw my back out.  Instead, every Sunday morning I try to pray, read, and study.  My study isn’t as good as it has been in the past, I can always improve.  But, staying in on Sunday, preparing for church, praying, pondering my blessings, being with my wife, has become my favorite part of every week.

    In November 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I meditate 7 days a week.  There’s a strange phenomenon I’ve experienced during this time.  I meditate every single day.  But, on Sundays, something is different.  I don’t meditate with the hopes of becoming emotional.  I enjoy it when it happens.  I enjoy feeling the spirit so strongly that, as I lay on the ground in gratitude to my Heavenly Father, tears sometimes come to my eyes.  It happens every so often.  What I’ve noticed is it happens mostly on Sundays.

    Without fail, as I lay and meditate on Sundays, I will be moved by the grace of Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father.  I will contemplate the Atonement of my Savior.  I’ll consider the suffering He went through for me.  I’ll think about where I’ve been and where I am now.  I’ll wonder how God can love us so much.

    Grace of Christ

    I bear testimony that Sunday is a special day.  It’s not special because it’s specifically Sunday.  That’s the day we, our society, have set aside as a day to worship.  It could be Monday or Friday, doesn’t matter.  What matters is it’s a day for the Lord.  It’s important because it’s a day set aside for God.  He has given us all our days, our lives, what is one day a week in return?  I know that the Sabbath day is a special day.  I know it holds power.  I know it gives rejuvenating strength in a world that unceasingly sucks our spiritual resolve from us throughout the week.  I know it because I’ve experienced it.

    I would invite everybody to spend some time every Sunday morning in prayer.  I promise you will feel something special.  The Sabbath day is profound.  Keep it holy.  It was a long journey for me to truly appreciate the power of the Sabbath.  I know that we’re blessed for keeping the Sabbath holy.  In the scriptures, keeping the Sabbath is said to be what separates God’s people from the world.  Keep the Sabbath holy and I promise God will pour out blessings on you.  I know because he has on me.