I watched a video recently. You can watch it here:
In the video, some surfers are complaining about a barrier in the ocean. They’d travelled for a once in a lifetime surf trip and a barrier was keeping them from being able to surf the big waves.
As they were complaining, an older surfer walked up and let them use his binoculars. Through the binoculars, just beyond the barrier, the young surfers could see a feeding frenzy. Sharks were just beyond the barrier.
What seemed like the worst thing in the world quickly turned into a great protection and a great blessing.
How often do we look at life as though through a murky glass? If we only had binoculars, or could see and understand the bigger picture, the way God sees things, how differently this world would look.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
I think back on my teenage years. I wasn’t the most rebellious teenager. I was far from the most obedient. I pushed boundaries. I experimented with what I thought would bring me joy.
As I’m now in my 30s, I realize just how stubborn and rebellious I am. This life is an opportunity for my spirit to prove whether or not I will choose God. I try my best. I realize that I am still just a child. Thinking I know best while God watches and lets me stumble around, making all the mistakes I need to so I eventually develop the humility, faith, and trust He knows I need.
As I consider teenagers today, my heart fears for them. I remember when I thought I needed to drink, try drugs, do all the worldly things or else I would miss out. Or just to feel like I belonged.
I think back on how lucky I was to try these things and escape with my free-will intact. Many are not so lucky.
We look at so many destructive habits and activities from the perspective that they are fun and exciting. They are the big wave. But beneath the big wave are dangers we don’t perceive. Beer commercials always show the party. There is always a picture of abject excitement, freedom, liberation, and joy. What is never shown is what is lurking underneath: addiction, sadness, loneliness, emptiness, fear, doubt, dependance, despair, danger, suffering.
The products of a worldly life are these things. I’ve seen it. We all have. And yet we think we want to be a part of these things, a part of this world.
Thrilling and tantalizing waves.
A feeding frenzy underneath.
Some quotes from that video –
“The Lord’s commands do not constitute some grueling underwater barriers that we must learn to grudgingly endure in this life so that we might be exalted in the next.”
“The Lord’s commandments are given out of love and caring. They are intended for our joy in this life just as much as they are intended for our joy and exaltation in the next.”
There is this worldly perspective that restrictions and the commandments of God take away our freedom. Let me be free! Let me party! Let me eat, drink, and be merry!
“Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.”
-Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune
We think real freedom is drinking what we want to drink, not realizing we become a slave to that drink.
Real freedom is eating what we want to eat, not realizing we become a slave to our appetites.
Real freedom is going to the party, not realizing we are a slave to the fear of missing out.
We are commanded to avoid things because those things take away our freedom, they do not liberate us.
Real freedom is not being dependent on any substance, food, drug, or activity. Real freedom is discipline.
Why does God give us commandments? Not to restrict us but to protect us. Not to hold us back but to let us fly to our highest potential.
Sometimes I marvel at how sneaky that doggon devil is.
One example is how kids are bombarded by inappropriate images. The most childish of cell phone games are interrupted by scantily clad cartoon (or real) women. It’s the craziest thing.
Another example occurred to me recently.
When I try to search for the rating of a movie, it often takes me 4 or 5 searches to find out if it’s R, PG-13, etc. I always get the Rotten Tomatoes rating!
This, of course, is the product of a bigger issue. That issue is all the garbage that exists in the media.
The LDS church has a cultural policy that I’m not interested in looking into the history of. That “policy” for lack of a better word (“suggestion” or “guidance” may be better words), is to not watch Rated R movies.
Growing up, I HATED this rule, and pretty immediately rebelled against it. It may have been the first LDS thing I rebelled against, actually. Remember, I’m the kid who dumped out my mom’s Coke because it had caffeine and was against the Word of Wisdom, or so I thought. I’ve been watching Rated R movies for as long as I can remember. I distinctly remember watching Chucky Halloween night when I was under 8 years old. It was made for TV, but still not meant for a 6-year-old.
That is where my point is leading. Made for TV murderous doll OK because it’s TV-MA?
For as long as I live I will never forget the movie I watched that made me decide I was done with Rated R movies. That movie was The Hateful Eight. I will say no more about that. Luckily for me, Beth came to a similar conclusion from her own movie. Her movie was Hereditary. We concluded around the same time that we were done with rated R movies for very different and yet oddly similar reasons.
They made us feel icky.
That’s what I remember about the Hateful Eight. I finish all movies I watch. I treat movies the same way I treat books. If you start it, you finish it. I was watching Hateful Eight when Beth came over (before we were married). I finished this scene. I left with Beth for whatever we had planned. I remember not being able to get this grotesque, gross, vile stuff out of my mind. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt dark. I felt dirty. I finally asked myself, why am I doing this to myself? I don’t have to finish the movie. I didn’t finish the movie. It was the last rated R movie I “watched.” That was 2017 or 2018.
Has it been easy cutting out rated R movies? Nope (some of you will get that reference). There are inevitably movies I want to see sooo bad, but they’re rated R. This has led to discussions with friends. I’ll hear things like, “Well it only swears this many times and the violence and sex isn’t that bad.” My thinking is, you draw a line and you stick to it. End of story. But by the way, pretty much every movie is rated R. So this change has led to basically watching 95% less movies. A fortunate side effect.
If you doubt that, check movies in theatres right now. You might find a couple that aren’t rated R. They’re either cartoons or Marvel, and even that is changing.
So here’s my even bigger point about the craftiness of the devil.
That guidance to not watch rated R movies was never about rated R movies. It was about what we consume and let enter our minds. I’ll never get that image from Hateful Eight out of my mind, but it taught me something, and it made me grow. It made me learn what I do and don’t want to enter in through the light of my body (Matthew 6:22-23).
So you cut out rated R movies. But what about TV MA? What about murder dramas? What about all this media out there? Where do you draw the line? I’ve started cutting out TV shows mid-season. Remember, me, the person who tries to finish whatever I start. I was really into (a stupid show) Love Craft County. Then it got bizarre and disgusting. I stopped. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones. My favorite show ever is Breaking Bad. How do we figure it out?
My point is, you can’t even search and find out if a movie is rated R anymore. The devil is crafty. We consume more and more trash more and more often. I say this as someone who also consumes trash.
And what’s happening around us? You look up and your 13-year-old brother has seen something like 150,000 violent acts depicted in media. How crazy is that? Is that OK? Do we really have to wonder about depression and all this crap kids are dealing with? It’s insane.
The devil is crafty. He blurs the line everywhere we turn. It’s so much harder to protect ourselves. He never stops working.
I don’t know how to conclude this so I’ll just say, I took a step by cutting out rated R movies. I’ve been happy with that decision, even though I’ve probably had to miss out on some good movies. I think I’m better for it though.
*Posting this years after writing it and on one hand I’m proud of my continued commitment to avoid rated R movies. On the other hand, I’m disappointed with my continued viewing of TV-MA material. But I’m also proud of the overall amount of television I’ve cut out of my life. There’s just not enough time to watch TV anymore.
So I’m proud and I’m disappointed. But that’s life. God knows our efforts and He knows I’m trying. I’m not meant to be perfect in this life, though I’ll try, and fail. That’s why I’m grateful for Jesus Christ.
The devil seeks us. We need to be hyper-vigilant to make sure we stay on the side we want to be on. Every day is a battle.
In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve were given two commandments.
Multiply and replenish the earth.
Do not eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
In the church we are familiar with this dichotomy. Commandment one could not be completed without disobeying commandment two. What were Adam and Eve to do?
I recently read a classic short story called The Invisible Collection from Out of the Best Books Volume 1 (p. 329). This short story was in a section titled “Good Versus Evil.”
In this short story, an art shop owner/dealer learns of a patron of his art shop, which his father and grandfather ran before him, that had been a client for nearly 60 years. He decides to go visit this client to see his collection and see if he might be able to purchase some of it back from him. The client had been collecting for 6 decades and the pieces he bought for cents were now worth a fortune. This story was set in Germany after the war. Inflation was ravaging the country.
The art dealer visited the modest home of this art collector, only to learn that the art collector that had purchased hundreds of paintings, drawings, and art pieces from his shop was blind. This art collector hadn’t always been blind, he had become blind after the war. Our main character, the art shop owner, learned that this now very old man still daily pulled out the many portfolios he had collected and went through each piece one by one. He used his memory to see every detail he had spent countless hours admiring when he still had his vision. His art collection, even blind, was his greatest treasure.
When our shop owner arrived at the home, he was immediately pulled aside by the wife and daughter of this old man. They told him the truth before he could cry out in astonishment in front of the old man. In order to survie they had been selling the art pieces for years. The husband of a second daughter of the old art collector had been killed in the war and she was left with 4 young children to feed. The family was barely getting by, barely surviving. They sold these priceless art items to survive. They replaced the real art with papers to fool the old man. They never told the old man because, understandably, they didn’t want to break his heart.
This story really made me think.
Lying is bad, right? And yet, in this story, the family of the old man had to lie, didn’t they? Or did they?
Multiply and replenish the earth, but don’t eat from that tree. Many things in this life are not black and white. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” answer to every question. There’s a lot of gray area in this life. That’s the point, though. God wants us to learn in this life to be wise stewards. He wants us to learn to make decisions for ourselves, to learn and grow from our choices.
“nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee”
God is teaching us to be rulers in this life. God wants us to learn good from evil. He wants us to learn to follow the promptings of the Spirit (truth) and learn to follow that guidance. He wants us to take many options and make the best choice. He wants us to learn how to evaluate what is best to do, then do it.
Being worthy is receiving something, putting it into your life, and acting upon it. As we prove ourselves worthy God gives us bit by bit more, and we grow step by step. That is what God is teaching us in this life. Worthiness, righteousness, freedom of choice, and stewardship.
So, in this light, that we’re daily being tutored by God for greater purposes, how are our daily choices?
The Holy Ghost is the Holy Spirit; he is the Holy Spirit promised the saints at baptism, or in other words the Holy Spirit of Promise, this exalted name-title signifying that the promised receipt of the Holy Spirit, as on the day of Pentecost, is the greatest gift man can receive in mortality.
Bruce R. McConkie
I recently read this quote and the truth of the statement hit me. This seemed a fitting thought after last week’s post talking about the gift the gospel has been in my life. I believe that quote is a powerful reminder for those of us who have been blessed with this great gift. The gospel is a blessing in part due to this great gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost.
I can’t wait to teach Ivy of this most extraordinary gift and to watch her receive it for herself. I know the Holy Ghost is a guiding force and has blessed my life more than I will ever understand while on this earth. One day I will know.
I’m grateful for this constant companion (D&C 121:46), this friend, this comforter. I am never alone when the Holy Ghost is within me. What a blessing that gift is. The greatest in this life.
*Author’s note: I asked Beth to proofread this before sharing. I put off posting it for weeks because of my hesitation in sharing something like this about my past. Beth’s response, “Why wouldn’t you share it? It’s what got you here.”
“Cocaine takes your soul.” A statement I heard a while back on a podcast.
I’ve long wanted to write a “drugs” post, but I haven’t known how to approach it. It was a big step for me to start sharing publicly about how I used to drink. Now I use my past experiences with drinking to understand the struggles others can have because I’ve been there. It makes me really uncomfortable to share something like, “I used to do drugs.” Vulnerability, uncertainty at how people I love will take this information, Ivy reading this one day… Admitting something like that was never something I thought I’d do. But Beth’s comment was right. Those choices led to where I am today, so why not share it? If I’ve truly changed, why do those past decisions matter that much? If I truly believe Christ has washed away my sins through His Atonement, what am I hiding? Maybe somebody can benefit from my experience.
So, before I continue, let’s get this part out of the way: All my LDS friends and family take your moment to *gasp. All my college friends and family take your laugh (that some of my friends and family never knew this about me).
I bounced back and forth with writing a generic, boring post about how drugs are bad. Really, we’ve heard that before. What can really make a difference, I think, is my personal experience with drugs. In the Church (of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), along with other churches, I think talking about past drinking or drug use is pretty taboo. It’s like many other topics I want to write about and haven’t yet addressed. Where I come from, how I was raised, I kind of adhere to the ‘pretend like it doesn’t exist’ camp. Drugs? How about we not discuss it.
But then recently my 13-year-old brother mentioned a kid coming to his soccer practice clearly high. First thought, “My youngest brother is exposed to weed already????” Then I realized, he’s 13, of course he’s exposed to it. I know a lot of kids that started experimenting with drugs at 13. It’s crazy to think my youngest brother is 13. It’s crazier more to realize it when he talks about the drug use around him. Drug use is happening. In the world we live in today, it’s more prevalent than ever. If we stick our head in the ground, refuse to talk to our kids about it, and pretend like it’s not happening, someone else is talking to them about it. News flash parents: Your most sheltered latter-day saint babies have seen, heard of, been around, and maybe even experienced drug use.
If I was seeing it in 2003 (I’m old), you better believe 13-year-olds are seeing it in 2021. Recently I drove down a street in Las Vegas near my old home. A street I’d driven down many times. I did a double take when I passed what I can only describe as a big, bright, pot emporium. Drugs are becoming mainstream. A scary thought.
So what are my experiences with drugs?
First let me say, I was lucky that drugs never quite became like alcohol for me. I don’t think drugs ever controlled me the way alcohol did. I think part of that is luck in never trying the wrong substance. There was a time when I was on a precarious cliff, one wrong step could have led to debilitating and life destroying addiction.
I’m going to try my best to be as ambiguous as possible about my drug use for obvious reasons. By that I mean, I’m not going to tell you what drugs I have done (it’s not many). But sometimes I may be clear about drugs I haven’t done. For example, I never tried cocaine. I had to say that since you’ve probably been wondering that since you read the first line.
What’s my experience?
From a very young age I was aggressively opposed to any substance I believed was bad. Legend has it I used to pour out my mom’s Coca Cola’s. Growing up I always said I would never drink alcohol. When asked I would say it was due to my faith and the Word of Wisdom. The Word of Wisdom, for those who don’t know, is guidance provided by the Lord to Joseph Smith in 1833 about what should and should not be put into the body. Over the years the Word of Wisdom, as followed by many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has adapted and changed. This is a natural occurrence. Joseph Smith wasn’t yet warned about vape pens and methamphetamines in the 1830s. I encourage everyone who wants to learn more to read Doctrine and Covenants Section 89.
My excuse for not drinking or partaking in drugs was always the Word of Wisdom. Like I said, from a very young age I remember taking that guidance very seriously. As I grew up, and my church activity waned, that excuse changed to, “I’m an athlete.” In high school “no thanks” seldomly worked. You needed a reason. Similar to Happy Hours across the country today, most of the time you can’t just say no.
So what happened when I had neither? What happened when my church activity was zero and I was no longer an athlete after high school? It’s amazing how soon after losing those two identities that I waivered on this principle I had stuck so firmly to.
I still remember my first sip of alcohol. It was a big moment. We laugh at the joke that meth addiction starts with one puff or one sip, but doesn’t it? Of course, there are exceptions, but would someone who has never had a sip of alcohol try a harder, more dangerous substance? Usually not.
What happened after I’d taken one sip? Well, my excuses of church and basketball were no longer existent, I no longer had my shield against peer pressure. It’s no wonder when I went off to college for the first time I started drinking, then trying other stuff.
I was never a big drug user, as previously stated. Most of what I tried wouldn’t even be considered drugs by most people today. That’s the problem though, isn’t it? Drugs are drugs. Marijuana is a drug. It is habit forming, it changes your focus, it changes what you care about, and ultimately it changes you.
I had some extremely, extremely scary experiences with drugs. The last time for a particular substance I said would be the last time I’d try anything. Being stuck in your mind is a terrifying thing, there is no escape. These substances are mind-altering. Sometimes they’re mind entrapping.
This is the point I want to get across and I think is important. It’s the point I make to anyone who asks about certain drugs or drug use. You almost never know what you’re putting into your body and it’s often from a sketchy source. What happens when you can’t escape your mind and you think something will never end? I had a friend once tell me he considered killing himself one time during a particularly bad drug experience. My thought was, “why would you put that in your body????” Then, years later I had that something in my body. If it wasn’t for very trusted and caring friends being around me to calm me down, who knows what could have happened. Never before in my life had jumping off a balcony crossed my mind. It did that day. Drugs are not a joke. This is the message, more than anything I’d like to get across.
I consider myself lucky that I avoided most of the more dangerous and addictive substances out there. I never touched a cigarette. I was too afraid it would become a habit. That fear kept me from putting myself in a dangerous position with many other drugs. I was always afraid of man-made, synthetic substances. I was raised to believe that man was conspiring against my freedom (D&C 89:4) and I believe that might have saved my life.
How am I with drugs today?
When I had my accident, they tried to prescribe me some sort of Oxy something or another pain medication. I refused. I got over the counter Advil and avoided taking that as much as I could. I saw too many friends almost kill themselves over those pills. I hope I can avoid ever touching one.
Today I’ve cut out drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and juice. Yes, juice. I feel happier and healthier for it. I see coworkers come into the office and walk like zombies to the coffee machine first thing in the morning. I’ve never had that crutch and I never will.
People talk about the Word of Wisdom like it takes away your freedom. My experience tells me that drugs and alcohol, and yes, even caffeine take away our freedom, not expand it. How many people can’t start their day without coffee? How many people can’t start their weekend without liquor? How many people are enslaved by substance abuse?
I am so grateful for my upbringing and the protection I had against these dangerous substances in my life. Even when I dabbled, I escaped the direst consequences. I was lucky. Why chance it? I’m happier today than I’ve ever been now that I depend on no substance for that happiness. The Word of Wisdom is a protection and despite my slip-ups through my growth, it did protect me, and I’m grateful for it.
No Coincidences 