No Coincidences

Tag: Heavenly Father

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Remember last week when I wrote about The greatest moment of my life every day? Yeah, well here’s the dark side of that smile.

    There’s a serious question/joke every new parent has heard at least 100 times.  Are you getting any sleep?

    Why are we asked this question?

    Because it’s a REAL concern.

    Ivy trying to eat my hand when she should be sleeping

    So, for all those wondering, how has our sleep been?  I wrote about the First 48 Hours.  How have the first five months gone? In a blur would be one way to answer.

    I could go on for a while about sleep training and how much work and effort Beth has put in.  This isn’t a mommy blog so I won’t go into all the detail.  I will say Beth has done an awesome job helping Ivy to sleep.  She usually puts her down between 7pm-8pm.  Ivy will sleep until 6:30am-7:00am with at least one wake-up in the middle of the night.  Some of these wakeups just take putting the pacifier back in her mouth.  Sometimes it’s an hour feeding her a bottle and helping her back to sleep.

    Physically restraining a stubborn baby

    Before I provide my spiritual thought on this, I will stress two points:

    1. Ivy is pretty good overall with her sleeping.  We are blessed.  Beth reminds me of this.  While I have no frame of reference, Beth is in touch with all the mommy’s of the world and knows that babies don’t always sleep the way Ivy does.
    2. Beth does the heavy lifting most nights as I work in the morning.

    As I proceed with my thoughts on getting sleep with a newborn, please refer back to points 1 and 2 often.  Every time you’re thinking, “well Beth is doing all the work, of course you (enter your feelings about my thoughts)…” or “of course it’s not that bad, not all babies sleep like yours has!”  Please refer back to those points.  I am aware of how blessed we’ve been in point one, and I’ve been in point two.

    That said.  My thoughts.

    It hasn’t been that bad.  There.  I said it.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD.  I’ll say this, I think lack of sleep isn’t as bad as interrupted sleep.  There’s something about having to get up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, even if it’s quick and you can go back to sleep.  That’s what made the first couple months so difficult. 

    I recently heard another father describe the newborn sleeping phase as something like advanced sleep deprivation training for the military.  As he said that, I thought, “huh, I don’t think it was THAT bad” (see point 1!).

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth, I made some big changes to everyday habits of mine.  For one, I’ve cut out sugary drinks completely.  For those who know me, that included Hawaiian Punch or soda with lunch and dinner.  That’s A LOT of sugar.  I cut out the juice and soda about 18 months ago.

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth I read a book that led to two other changes.  I started doing a breathing exercise once or twice a day.  According to this book it’s the single most important thing anyone could do to immediately improve their health.  The other thing this book prompted me to start doing was change my breakfast habits.  I’ve always had breakfast every day no matter what. My breakfast every morning is usually cereal and milk.  My cereal is most often not of the healthy variety.  Berry Colossal Crunch (Cap’n Crunch knockoff) and Cinnamon Toasters (Cinnamon Toast Crunch knockoff) are still in my kitchen from our last order before I changed this habit.  Instead of artificial sugar for breakfast, I’ve transitioned to fruit every morning.  Usually grapefruit and blueberries, apples, oranges, or bananas.

    For those keeping score, I’ve cut out Hawaiin Punch, soda, and cereal in the form of straight sugar.

    For those of you wondering if I still eat candy.  Emphatic YES.  Maybe one day this can be cut down in my life.  We’re not there yet.

    As I pondered on the past 5 months, and the difficulty, something occurred to me.  Like I said above, I don’t think it’s been that bad.  Difficult, not debilitating.  As I thought about this, I thought about a scripture.

    Mosiah 24:14-15 reads:

    And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

    And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

    I think this is the most I’ve ever related to this scripture.  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like for burdens to be made light.  The lack of sleep should be killing me.  I have to be on-call every few weeks for work.  A call at 3 in the morning that would take 2 minutes used to infuriate me.  It would ruin my night and the whole next day.  Now a 3am-4am feeding session is a pretty regular occurrence.

    What explains that I haven’t gone into a fit of rage?  For one, I love Ivy passionately. That helps.  But I can’t help but feel like my burdens have been made light.  Heavenly Father knows my prayers have picked up, needing this assistance.

    I’ve wondered how the change in my eating habits has helped my energy.  Does God miraculously give us more energy and uplift us?  He can, of course.  I believe more often He would like to help us by allowing us to help ourselves.  I believe these new habits were inspired and I was guided to them.  I believe it has lightened my burdens, and God continues to lighten my burdens.

    I’m still working on the cheerfully and patient parts.  That I could always improve on.  But I am grateful for God and His help these first few months.  I’ve felt His presence and assistance every day.

    In the end, all the lack of sleep in the world is worth that smile.

  • Blessing Ivy

    Blessing Ivy

    I recently had the special opportunity to bless Ivy.  Leading up to the blessing, I did some research on the history of blessing children in the Church of Jesus Christ and its significance.  For Ivy’s blessing, Beth put together an event and a description of what a baby blessing is.  Here is that description:

    What is a baby blessing?

    In summary, the naming and blessing of children is a commandment of God. It is proper for a worthy father to name and bless his children. Blessing of children was done during the time of Christ, and it occurred in the early years of the restored Church. The ordinance has become a regular practice followed by Church members ever since.

    Who has the authority to bless a baby?

    A worthy priesthood holder under the direction of the local bishop. It is usually the father or a close family member.

    What is the priesthood?

    The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end. Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.”

    Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel.

    What is the format of a baby blessing?

    When blessing a baby, priesthood holders gather in a circle and place their hands under the baby. When blessing an older child, brethren place their hands lightly on the child’s head. The person who gives the blessing:

    1. Addresses Heavenly Father.

    2. States that the blessing is performed by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

    3. Gives the child a name.

    4. Gives words of blessing as the Spirit directs.

    5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Ivy and Aunt Cambria

    Reading up on the baby blessing beforehand taught me some interesting things about this sacred practice that I would like to share.

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1979/12/i-have-a-question/in-blessing-an-infant-should-both-the-naming-and-blessing-be-addressed-to-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng

    1. Unique to giving a blessing to an older child or adult, the naming and blessing of a child is directed to Heavenly Father like prayers are. 
      • This could be because the baby is too young to understand the words directed to him or her. 
    2. It appears that Melchizedek Priesthood holders are authorized to more than ask for a blessing but are able to pronounce a blessing upon the child directly, as the spirit directs.
      • See D&C 20:70
      • Sometimes inspiration (or confidence) to pronounce/give a blessing does not come.  In this case it is of course acceptable to ask Heavenly Father for these blessings.  I believe this is how I felt in giving Ivy her blessing.  It was enough to ask Heavenly Father to bless her with my requests.
    3. It is a commandment to name and bless infants.
      • See again D&C 20:70
      • It is important to remember the naming and blessing of children is not a saving ordinance.  It is still an important and sacred moment seen in heaven.
    4. “It is an awesome responsibility to be a priesthood agent of the Lord, to act in his behalf, and to approximate in one’s words and doings what the Lord would do if he were here.  A father, especially, who is to bless his child, has the delight and responsibility to prepare himself beforehand by pondering and by fasting and prayer, that he may be sensitive to the suggestions of the Spirit when giving the blessing.”
      • “How blessed we are to be able to present our little ones before the Lord, our families and the Church, and then consecrate them to the Lord.  How blessed we are to be able to name them, plead over, pray for, and, yes, to bless them directly and personally in harmony with our finest desires for them, by the authorization and wisdom of heaven.”

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/12/i-have-a-question/why-is-the-naming-and-blessing-of-a-child-important?lang=eng

    1. An interesting account from Joseph Smith on March 13, 1843 says, “Twenty-seven children were blessed, nineteen of whom I blessed myself, with great fervency.  Virtue went out of me, and my strength left me…”
      • “[The next day] Elder Jedediah M. Grant enquired of me the cause of my turning pale and losing strength last night while blessing children.  I told him that I saw that Lucifer would exert his influence to destroy the children that I was blessing, and I strove with all the faith and spirit that I had to seal upon them a blessing that would secure their lives upon the earth; and so much virtue went out of me into the children, that I became weak, from which I have not yet recovered; and I referred to the case of the woman touching the hem of the garment of Jesus. (Luke 8).” (History of the Church, 5:303.)
      • Elder John Taylor said the Savior’s example of blessing children “should be studiously complied with without hesitancy or objection” (by priesthood holders).
      • We see that Joseph Smith followed the example of the Savior who blessed children in both Israel and the American continent.  (Mark 10:14-16 and 3 Nephi 17).  What an amazing and marvelous thought:  our virtue can be passed to our children.  Our blessings are a force Satan must reckon with.  It makes me want to bless my daughter daily.  It also adds insight to a scripture that has always been a bit puzzling in Luke 8:46.  Virtue can literally leave us to help others.
    2. The new name:
      • A new name is often involved when a covenant relationship is formed.
      • When Adam and Eve were given dominion over the earth, Adam named all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20).
      • God blessed them and named Adam after giving him a body (Genesis 5:2).
      • When we get baptized we follow a similar pattern, taking upon us a new name, the name of Christ.
      • Temple covenants also involve the giving and receiving of names.
    3. The responsibility of blessing a child is bestowed, ideally, on he who helped create that child’s body, and who Heavenly Father entrusted His child with in mortality.
      • Joseph F. Smith – “The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity.  There is, then, a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and authority in the households of the people of God and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children.  In the home, the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount…This authority carries with it a responsibility, and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men cannot be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization.”

    It is my experience that giving blessings is often the closest I ever feel to Heavenly Father.  I can feel him speaking through me and it is always a powerful, emotional, and memorable experience.  The opportunity to bless my daughter will be one of the greatest moments of my life.  I have immense gratitude to my Heavenly Father for entrusting Ivy into my care, allowing me to name her, and trusting me to watch over and protect her in this life and through eternity.

  • Prodigal Son

    Prodigal Son

    The story of the Prodigal Son is well known.  For those who have not read it before or haven’t read it recently it can be found in Luke 15:11-32.

    The story of the Prodigal Son has always hit close to home for me.  Obviously, it’s easy for me to relate to the younger son.  You should read Luke chapter 15 above but a quick summary: there were two sons.  They will be referred to as the elder/older son and the younger son as I write.  The two sons were given their inheritances.  The younger son left his home and went to a faraway city.  There he squandered his inheritance on “riotous living.”  When he hit the lowest of lows, the younger son returned home to beg his father to allow him to be a servant.  The father, instead of showing anger, welcomed his son home, killed the fatted calf, put a robe on his son, gave him a ring, put shoes on his feet, and threw a huge party in celebration of his return.

    The older son, upon hearing of his brother’s return and the subsequent party, was angry.

    This story is often told in such a way that the primary lesson is about the Prodigal Son and his father’s reaction to his return. The story is called “the prodigal son” after all.  That lesson being that no matter how we stray, how far gone are, and how many mistakes we make our Heavenly Father (the father in the story) will always welcome us back.  In fact, Heavenly Father rejoices at our repentance:

    “I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

    Luke 15:7

    All Prodigal Sons like myself rejoice at this story.

    I once heard a different perspective on this story, and I’d like to share it.  There is a great lesson to be learned in the story of the Prodigal Son by looking at a secondary character: the older brother.

    A great question to ask yourself before reading any of Christ’s parables is “who was He speaking to?”  Another good question is “What was He trying to teach?”  If you look at the parable from the perspective of the Prodigal Son, you can say Christ was teaching those who have sinned that they can always repent and return to the light of their Heavenly Father’s love.

    Who was Christ speaking to when he gave this parable? He was speaking to those looking for the message of God.   He was speaking to the listeners.  These were the ones looking for the message of God.  When giving this parable Christ was speaking to the saints.

    Consider what can be learned from the older brother.  The older brother never left.  The older brother never sinned.  The older brother respected and worked for his father.  Many say, and I always thought, he was justified in his reaction.  His exact words in verses 29 and 30:

    “And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid (fatted calf), that I might make merry with my friends:

    But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.”

    This appears to be a natural reaction.  He had always been there.  He had always done right.  Only for his corrupt brother to return and receive honor.

    Why did the older son stay and work hard for his father?  Why did he keep his commandments?  Was he simply looking forward to the inheritance he was to receive?

    A Crucial Lesson from the Brother of the Prodigal Son « Meridian Magazine

    Why do you serve God and keep his commandments?  Are you looking forward to your mansion?  Do you serve God so you can inherit His glory?  Are you serving Him for YOUR benefit?

    We should serve God because we love God.  We should serve God because we love those around us.  Our service to God shouldn’t be for the blessings and honors He can give us.  Our hearts should serve for love and not for our inheritances.

    Jesus didn’t tell this story only to get sinners to repent.  He also told this story to get the saints to repent.  The Prodigal Son went out to experience life and disregarded his father’s possessions.  The older son on the other hand stuck around, but he was working to please his father.  He looked at himself as moral and worthy.  He was after his father’s possessions.  That’s what he concerned himself with.  The elder son was keeping score.  He was trying to earn his father’s love and inheritance.

    Sometimes we are like the Prodigal Son: sinning and needing to return home.  Sometimes we are like the older brother: serving for the glory of the world. 

    Often we are like the older son in our envy and jealousy.  When someone returns to the fold do we judge them for their past?  Or, like the father in the parable and our Heavenly Father, do we rejoice at someone’s return?

    Elder Holland in his talk, The Other Prodigal, said:

    “I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another.  I testify that He loves each of us-insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all.  He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our profession or our possessions.  He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other.  I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes…made…white in the blood of the Lamb.”  May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer.”

    Let us not compare our blessings to the blessings of others, what we have to the possessions of others.  Let us support and help each other to all return to our Heavenly Father.  Jealousy is of Satan.  We should never look down on somebody who made mistakes and is trying to return to God, because then we are the sinner.  We can learn from every character in Christ’s great parable.  Be like the Prodigal Son and repent, humble ourselves, and return home.  Be like the elder son and don’t envy but welcome our wayward brothers and sisters back home with joy and love.  And be like the father, loving all those around us, embracing the sinner and the saint alike.  I believe this is God’s hope for us and what Christ was teaching us through this story.

    __________________________

    Here is a link to Jeffery R. Holland’s talk, The Other Prodigal:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2002/04/the-other-prodigal?lang=eng

  • Organized Religion

    Organized Religion

    What do you think the point of organized religion is?

    I had an obvious realization recently, only recently.  The point of organized religion is to bring you closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  If organized religion doesn’t bring you closer to God, then why do it?  I think it’s why we see so many people disenfranchised with organized religion.  In their hearts and souls, they know and hope what organized religion will bring – closeness with God.  When it doesn’t do that (and in fact sometimes does the opposite) they move away from it.

    The second point of organized religion: to bring us peace. 

    This second part isn’t as simple as “I belong to a church so I am happy and peaceful.” We know that Christianity is not always comfortable. This peace is bigger than worldly comfort. This peace is the knowledge that you are right with God. This peace is more eternal than this life.

    Why don’t organized religions do these two things?  Some do, and I’m not discounting those who come closer to God and find peace in any faith.  My point stands, that a lot of people have moved away from organized religion.  Why?  Why don’t most organized churches bring us closer to God or bring us peace?  They don’t have the proper authority from heaven to do so.

    God, through revelation has told us exactly what we need to do to come closer to Him and to have peace:

    1. Faith in Jesus Christ
      • Start by simply believing in Jesus Christ.  Believe He was born, believe He lived, believe He is the son of God, believe He died for you and your sins.
    2. Repentance
      • Once you believe, be better.  Don’t take for granted the suffering Christ went through for you.  Pray to God and ask forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and continue to make.
    3. Baptism
      • Religion has corrupted this simple principle.  All God asks is you make a symbolic gesture to show that you have faith in Him, faith in Jesus Christ, and will remember them.  Then use that show of faith to change and be better.  God has asked us to be baptized.  Follow His commandments and be baptized. 
    4. Gift of the Holy Ghost
      • The world is ever distracting and evil.  God has given us someone to provide strength.  The Holy Ghost is one with God and Jesus Christ and can be with us always.
      • I have the perfect example to help illustrate the important role the Holy Ghost plays.  I received a text from a friend one afternoon while I was working telling me his dad had passed away.  My friend didn’t want me to find out over social media, so he texted me.  When I read it I initially thought selfishly.  I was at work.  There wasn’t anything I could do.  I wanted to kneel and pray and cry.  But as I was sitting there something happened.  As clear as if a person whispered in my ear, I heard and felt a message.  Clear as day I knew important things.  This was my friend.  He was hurting.  Clear as day, “go to your friend.”  I’m not affectionate, it’s hard for me, ask my wife.  Beth knows that better than anyone.  It’s not in my nature to want to go comfort and cry with a friend.  That seems hard and vulnerable.  But in that very important moment I know the Holy Ghost came to me and directed me.  I know it was important for me, and I believe it was important for my friend.  The Holy Ghost did that.  I know that because I’ve worked so hard to be able to hear when the Holy Ghost speaks to me.  I have so many examples of that.  I could go on for days about the important moments that the Holy Ghost guided me.

    After the Holy Ghost, the final step: endure to the end.  Take the sacrament each week to renew your covenants from baptism.  Repent every day.  Remember Jesus Christ every day.  That’s it.  That brings you closer to God.  I know because it has for me.

    People don’t change overnight.  I know to many it seemed like I changed overnight.  I didn’t.  It was years of slowly changing habits, changing thoughts.  Many saw first-hand who I used to be but didn’t see the slow, gradual change to who I am now.  I always told myself I was “good.”  What good was me telling myself I was good if my actions and my selfishness said otherwise?  Four years ago, if I received the text I mentioned above I would have said “I’m sorry” and “let me know if you need anything.”  Today, I’m different.  I’m different because of Jesus Christ.

    What’s important?  I know why I’m here.  I know where I come from.  I know where I’m going. This brings peace.