*I wrote the below in 2022. I don’t remember what made me write the below. I don’t know what I was so frustrated about. That frustration comes out in what I wrote. I hopen no one ever thinks I think I’m better than anyone because I go to church. That might be one of the hardest things about coming back to church. Everyone thinks you’re different. And you are, I guess. I guess that’s part of change.
How do you make life changes without making others feel like you now think you’re better than them?
How do you give advice to others if they think you’re just criticizing them?
How do you be religious without making others feel judged?
How do you share church, and religion, and life changes without sounding like you think you’re right because you’ve found the right way, when you do think you’re right because you do think you’ve found a better way?
Have I come across this way?
I guess the answer is mostly – you can’t control what people think. You can only control yourself.
If someone feels judged because you’ve changed, and you’re happy about your changes, and you want to share it, how do you stop that? I don’t think you can.
The former alcoholic that is proud to share their 1-year chip and how healthy they are compared to 366 days ago – to the current alcoholic that person can seem self-righteous.
The person who now goes to church every week and invites friends comes across as holier than thou aka obnoxious because they’ve found God again. But everyone remembers the monster they used to be, and maybe, because of that past remembrance, can’t take them seriously.
I’ve found that giving advice to others can often be a lose-lose.
Either
- They say, “You never did xyz so you don’t understand.”
Or
- They say, “Well you did it, who are you to talk?”
I recently gave such advice and fell into category 2. Advice lovingly given. How do you express that it’s lovingly given?
I always think if you do something with love in your heart, your intentions will be understood. That’s not real life. The purest intentions from others to give me advice when I didn’t want to hear it was never received well by me.
I guess that’s the nature and problem of life.
How do you live religiously in a non-religious world?
Is this a self-righteous post? I don’t know.
It might be the closest to a rant that I’ve ever given in writing.
Oh I how I look forward to having kids who think I’ve never lived life and that I know nothing about what they’re going through. I’m sorry, parents, for always thinking that. Now I get it. And I know I’ll get it more when I have teenagers.
No Coincidences 