No Coincidences

Tag: humble

Are Women more Faithful than Men?

Why are women more faithful than men?

I’ve often wondered this. Others may disagree, but in my experience, generally, it is true. Why is it that women are more faithful than men?

There are countless examples of faithful men in the scriptures. There are also examples of faithful women in the scriptures, though less countless. Where the LDS church does have countless examples of women with great faith is in our pioneer stories. There are so many.

Some of the examples of faithful women in the scriptures include Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, Mary, the mother of Christ, and Mary Magdalene. I think often it is mothers that convert while fathers fight.

From what I’ve seen today, in modern times, women have more faith than men. Women are more open to spiritual experiences.

I think this is somewhat due to the “natural man.” In my opinion, man is much more natural than woman.

I also think it has to do with Christ’s admonition, “be ye as little children” (Matthew 18:3).

Don’t women possess more of the good qualities of children than most men? Women are generally more humble, meek, kind, caring, and gentle than men. I think few would disagree with this. Women possess more quantities of all the positive attributes of little children that most men lack. It doesn’t make men necessarily bad. I think it does create a gulf between us (males) and God, though.

If men can learn to be what we are with a positive light, and attain the meekness and humility of little children, we draw closer to God. I think this is what the Priesthood is meant to help us to do. We are to learn to be humble with authority. Learn to be meek with power.

What was Christ but complete humility with complete power?

The Priesthood of God can not be wrought with unrighteous dominion (Doctrine and Covenants 121:37).

We must be as little children. Meek and humble, and let our faith be as the women who surround us, who often far surpass our ability to trust, believe, hope, and have faith.

November 24, 2022
The Difference Between Steph Curry and Kevin Durant

This will be slightly out of brand for my blog. I love basketball so it’s surprising this is the first true basketball commentary I’ve written.

Anyways,

Kevin Durant is without question one of the best players in the NBA right now (when healthy), and one of the most talented players of all time. He is an extraordinary basketball player. It was big news a couple weeks ago when he requested a trade from his current team, the New Jersey Nets. It was especially relevant in Arizona because Durant listed Phoenix and Miami as his two preferred destinations.

A quick history on Kevin Durant for those that don’t know –

Durant was on an off-the-charts talented Oklahoma City team that had 3 future MVPs on the roster. That Oklahoma City Thunder team gave a record breaking 73-win Golden State Warriors team all it could handle. The Warriors came back from down 3-1 to the Oklahoma City Thunder. That Warriors team then lost to the LeBron led Cavaliers in the finals.

After the Warriors lost to the Cavaliers, and beat Durant’s Thunder, Durant left his team to join the record-breaking Warriors. A true, “if you can’t beat em, join em.” I didn’t hate this move by Durant like a lot of basketball fans did. As a lover of basketball, I could see that Durant hated playing with Russell Westbrook. From watching Durant play with Westbrook, I could understand Durant’s frustration. He wanted to play with a real team. Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, and Steph Curry made basketball look so fun. If I could play with any NBA team, it would hands down be the Warriors. They play basketball right. I understood Durant’s decision.

Fast forward some years. The Warriors win two more championships in 3 years. Durant is the Finals MVP both times. Here’s the thing though. The Warriors were never Durant’s team. It was always Steph Curry’s team. No matter how phenomenal Durant was. He couldn’t be loved in the Bay Area the way Steph was.

This led Durant to leave again. Always looking for the greener grass. He joined the Nets and hitched his wagon to a known enigma: Kyrie Irving. I won’t go into all the details, but the Nets experiment went disastrously. About as bad as it possibly could. Durant wanted to go to New Jersey to make it his city, the way San Francisco was Steph’s city. It exploded in his face.

So here we are, full circle. Durant is wanting out again. Looking for greener pastures, again.

Here’s the amazing thing I’m sure the casual NBA fan has missed.

What were the two teams Durant said were his two most desired destinations to be traded to? The Suns and the Heat. Who was the number one team in the west last year?… the Suns. Who was the number one team in the East last year?…the Heat. Interesting.

When Durant left the Thunder, he got destroyed in the media for leaving to join a better team. Despite being the player that took the Warriors over the top, potentially making them the best team in NBA history, he was never satisfied. He always seemed jaded by how he was bashed for the decision, and the perceived lack of love and appreciation he received for his basketball brilliance.

Here we are. Years later. He’s making the same decision. He went to a team to make it his own. It was disastrous. So, he’s trying to go to another team that already has leadership and join them.

How does Steph Curry tie into this?

Steph Curry is a leader of men; Durant is a lone ranger. Durant is not a leader of men.

Durant thinks because he can recruit talent to play with him, that makes him a leader. Recruiting talent doesn’t make you a leader. Elevating those around you makes you a leader. When has Durant elevated others?

The dichotomy of Kevin Durant is wanting to be a part of good culture, then ultimately wanting to be the good culture himself. But you can’t be the good culture by the simple fact that you want to be the good culture. Good culture is humility, self-sacrifice, team before individual. Durant acts like that’s what he wants, but then he leaves the greatest team of all time because he wasn’t getting the credit he felt he deserved. He went somewhere else thinking he could have it all. A talented team and a city that loved him.

Look who he gravitated towards in his recruitment efforts– another lone wolf, unique, kind of weird individual – Kyrie Irving. Look who else he brought in – a strip club attending, come in out of shape, (selfish), James Harden. These aren’t culture builders. What happened in Golden state doesn’t happen every day. And it does not happen by accident. It’s not every day that you find immensely talented people that are willing for it not to be all about them. Kevin Durant was never interested in it not being about him. That’s the dichotomy.

Steph Curry brought Kevin Durant in and embraced him. He didn’t care about the limelight. He cared about winning. He proved that. Two MVP trophies that did not go his way. Why? Because he had the humility to say, definitively, “it doesn’t have to be about me.” With Steph Curry, it’s truly about the team.

Steph Curry doesn’t try to be humble. He doesn’t try to be a uniter of men. He just is those things. They come naturally to him. He is a leader. These things don’t come naturally to Kevin Durant.

This isn’t an indictment of Kevin Durant as a person and definitely not as a basketball player. Not everyone is a born leader. It may be unfair to compare him to the most selfless superstar in NBA history, and I don’t think it’s even close. Who has a higher combination of talent, accolades, and humility than Steph Curry?

That said, Kevin Durant brought this comparison on himself. He had it all. Championships. A great team. Great teammates. He left that because he wanted to do it himself. When things got hard, he bailed ship faster than Kyrie bails a vaccination center. Is it any surprise that his two preferred destinations are where there’s a solid team, solid culture, solid comradery, and solid leadership?

Durant thought he wanted to be a leader of men. He quickly realized he only wanted to play basketball. That’s fine. Hopefully, though, he doesn’t go to Phoenix or Miami, win championships, and then realize he’s still not happy. Even though, if that were to happen, it seems like a foregone conclusion that would be the result.

Always seeking greener pastures.

July 21, 2022
Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

Mosiah 3:19 Talk
January 9, 2022
Good morning brothers and sisters.
I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
Conqueror”:
“Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

“[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

“A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

“As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

We can actively seek this positive change…

In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

“Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
‘Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
. . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

April 21, 2022
You are Loved, You are Worthy

“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.”

Think about that statement for a moment.

I heard this quote in a recent meditation I did. The meditation guided this visual exercise: Picture yourself as a child, truly picture it. Picture yourself as a baby. Picture yourself on someone’s lap. Picture yourself being held, comforted, and played with. Picture yourself laughing joyfully as someone makes a funny face at you. Picture yourself young and innocent.

You don’t have to earn worthiness; you don’t have to earn love. You are loved because you are.

The next time you don’t feel worthy, picture yourself as a child. You are worthy.

This exercise led me to an even more powerful thought. One that speaks not only to our worthiness here, but to our birthright and our eternal potential.

Consider Adam for a moment, the first man. When he came to this earth, we are told he was as a child. Adam came to earth meek and humble, a child-like individual. He had forgotten who he was. Who he was in reality was Michael the archangel, the chief angel. Adam was Michael, the angel second in authority. His authority was only exceeded by Jesus Christ Himself (and God, of course). In Hebrew the name Michael means “Who is like God.” This Michael came to earth with his mind wiped clean, with no recollection of his prior authority, no memory of his prior self.

What about us? What don’t we remember about ourselves?

The next time you are insecure, unsure, or afraid, remember that you are a child of divine inheritance. You are a prince or princess of the most High God. Consider that for a moment.

Not only are you loved and worthy of love, you are loved by the God of the universe. You are in line to inherit all He has to offer (D&C 84:38). Remember that, and don’t forget it. Hold to it.

We are as children here. We don’t remember our past. For all we know, we were spiritual giants. We are spiritual giants. We can be spiritual giants. Embrace that identity. Remember who you might be. Remember who it is you have been tutored by. The God of Heaven and Earth. When we embrace this way of thinking and embrace this possibility, the difficult things of this earth become so inconsequential. Our true potential is greatness. May we never forget it.

October 7, 2021
Prodigal Son

The story of the Prodigal Son is well known. For those who have not read it before or haven’t read it recently it can be found in Luke 15:11-32.

The story of the Prodigal Son has always hit close to home for me. Obviously, it’s easy for me to relate to the younger son. You should read Luke chapter 15 above but a quick summary: there were two sons. They will be referred to as the elder/older son and the younger son as I write. The two sons were given their inheritances. The younger son left his home and went to a faraway city. There he squandered his inheritance on “riotous living.” When he hit the lowest of lows, the younger son returned home to beg his father to allow him to be a servant. The father, instead of showing anger, welcomed his son home, killed the fatted calf, put a robe on his son, gave him a ring, put shoes on his feet, and threw a huge party in celebration of his return.

The older son, upon hearing of his brother’s return and the subsequent party, was angry.

This story is often told in such a way that the primary lesson is about the Prodigal Son and his father’s reaction to his return. The story is called “the prodigal son” after all. That lesson being that no matter how we stray, how far gone are, and how many mistakes we make our Heavenly Father (the father in the story) will always welcome us back. In fact, Heavenly Father rejoices at our repentance:

“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”
Luke 15:7

All Prodigal Sons like myself rejoice at this story.

I once heard a different perspective on this story, and I’d like to share it. There is a great lesson to be learned in the story of the Prodigal Son by looking at a secondary character: the older brother.

A great question to ask yourself before reading any of Christ’s parables is “who was He speaking to?” Another good question is “What was He trying to teach?” If you look at the parable from the perspective of the Prodigal Son, you can say Christ was teaching those who have sinned that they can always repent and return to the light of their Heavenly Father’s love.

Who was Christ speaking to when he gave this parable? He was speaking to those looking for the message of God. He was speaking to the listeners. These were the ones looking for the message of God. When giving this parable Christ was speaking to the saints.

Consider what can be learned from the older brother. The older brother never left. The older brother never sinned. The older brother respected and worked for his father. Many say, and I always thought, he was justified in his reaction. His exact words in verses 29 and 30:

“And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid (fatted calf), that I might make merry with my friends:

But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.”

This appears to be a natural reaction. He had always been there. He had always done right. Only for his corrupt brother to return and receive honor.

Why did the older son stay and work hard for his father? Why did he keep his commandments? Was he simply looking forward to the inheritance he was to receive?

Why do you serve God and keep his commandments? Are you looking forward to your mansion? Do you serve God so you can inherit His glory? Are you serving Him for YOUR benefit?

We should serve God because we love God. We should serve God because we love those around us. Our service to God shouldn’t be for the blessings and honors He can give us. Our hearts should serve for love and not for our inheritances.

Jesus didn’t tell this story only to get sinners to repent. He also told this story to get the saints to repent. The Prodigal Son went out to experience life and disregarded his father’s possessions. The older son on the other hand stuck around, but he was working to please his father. He looked at himself as moral and worthy. He was after his father’s possessions. That’s what he concerned himself with. The elder son was keeping score. He was trying to earn his father’s love and inheritance.

Sometimes we are like the Prodigal Son: sinning and needing to return home. Sometimes we are like the older brother: serving for the glory of the world.

Often we are like the older son in our envy and jealousy. When someone returns to the fold do we judge them for their past? Or, like the father in the parable and our Heavenly Father, do we rejoice at someone’s return?

Elder Holland in his talk, The Other Prodigal, said:

“I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us-insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our profession or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes…made…white in the blood of the Lamb.” May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer.”

Let us not compare our blessings to the blessings of others, what we have to the possessions of others. Let us support and help each other to all return to our Heavenly Father. Jealousy is of Satan. We should never look down on somebody who made mistakes and is trying to return to God, because then we are the sinner. We can learn from every character in Christ’s great parable. Be like the Prodigal Son and repent, humble ourselves, and return home. Be like the elder son and don’t envy but welcome our wayward brothers and sisters back home with joy and love. And be like the father, loving all those around us, embracing the sinner and the saint alike. I believe this is God’s hope for us and what Christ was teaching us through this story.

__________________________

Here is a link to Jeffery R. Holland’s talk, The Other Prodigal:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2002/04/the-other-prodigal?lang=eng

April 8, 2021