Tag: Jonah and the whale

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • How did I get here?

    How did I get here?

    What is my goal in writing this blog?

    Hopefully to uplift someone, anyone.  Believer, nonbeliever.  Member of the Church of Jesus Christ, member of any church, member of no church.  I’d like to teach people who know nothing about this faith some of what I believe.  I’d like to share with members of my faith the things that have impacted my testimony.

    Recently a new motivation has emerged.  With a daughter on the way I realize one day she can read all this.  Whether or not anyone reads any of this.  One day my daughter might.

    Right now, I’m posting individual posts that are unrelated to each other.  Mostly my thoughts and musings.  As I post more, I plan on categorizing posts into certain sections.  If someone could come to this page and read a quick one to two-page entry and leave slightly uplifted, that’s my ultimate goal.  Most of my writing I hope to be somewhat thought provoking.  Just things I’ve thought about or ideas and concepts that have really impacted me and changed the way I’ve looked at life.

    I hope for this to be informational.  I was greatly impacted by the writing of a man, John Pontius.  As I read more, I’m impacted by the writings of many people who took the time to put thoughts on paper.  Maybe something I write one day will help someone.  I also hope to discuss what I feel makes the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ special.  I hope for people not of my faith to read, and maybe have something stirred in their souls.  Something that reminds them of where they came from, and maybe have a desire to learn more about Christ’s Church and what makes it so important. 

    As I write I’ll share a lot about me.  I wanted a section to describe, briefly, who I am and how I got here.

    Anybody reading on my page will immediately notice the strong religious theme.  It’s what I think about most.  For a portion of my life, it was not this way.


    About me:

    I was born in Payson, Utah in 1990.  I moved to St. George, Utah when I was ~5.  I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada when I was ~9.  I lived in three houses from ages 9 to 18 in Las Vegas.  We moved a lot and that was always difficult for me while growing up.  

    History – Payson
    Payson, Utah
    The Establishment & History of St. George - Greater Zion
    St. George, Utah
    New Luxury Homes for Sale in Las Vegas, NV | Shadow Point
    Las Vegas, Nevada

    In 2009 I moved to Arizona to go to Arizona State University.  I decided early on I didn’t want to go to UNLV (University of Nevada Las Vegas) or UNR (University of Nevada Reno).  I wanted to get out of Nevada, I wanted a fresh start.  I had no family in Arizona.  Las Vegas wasn’t far, but I would be completely on my own.

    I still remember when I was driving to Arizona for orientation with my mom.  She got sick on the way and we stopped.  I think we were in Boulder City, about an hour into the drive.  I took her to the emergency room.  My dad drove there to be with my mom.  I had to be at orientation the next morning.  I drove to Arizona by myself.  It was the first time I’d driven that kind of distance alone and was symbolic of me becoming independent.

    I went to ASU for five semesters.  I studied construction management.  I always did well in high school with minimal effort.  I’m one of those obnoxious individuals who brags about never studying in high school.  Boy did I learn my lesson once I got to college.  My grades, with zero work ethic and desire, quickly reflected my effort.  It didn’t help that I soon realized I wasn’t interested in what I was studying.  Construction management can be interesting, but it wasn’t for me.  There’s only so much I could take learning about the strength of concrete.

    The College Dropout Turns Fifteen — Scene+Heard
    Like if you get the reference

    My junior year I officially dropped out of college with (of course) the intention of going back and finishing once I found my passion.  I say “of course” because that’s what we all say.  During school I found that I was much more interested in parties, poker, and basketball than I was in learning about safety standards of construction sites.  When I stopped going to school I continued to live on campus and enjoy college life, minus the higher education part.  I spent a full year couch surfing.  I’m sheepish to admit now, but I look back fondly on that year.  It was a year spent staying up until 5am, waking up at 1pm, sneaking into the student rec center to play basketball, getting food, finding a party, rinse/repeat.  It may sound like a pathetic use of time but it’s something I think I needed to experience.

    If my daughter ever reads this – not everyone needs to experience this.  That’s part of why I’m writing.  To show that I made mistakes and lived life a certain way.  Ultimately, I can’t regret it because it eventually got me to where I am today.  I have learned through my own experiences where true happiness exists.  True happiness comes from serving others, giving yourself to something bigger than yourself.  True happiness comes from loving others.  I had to go a round-about way to learn what’s important in life.  Not everyone has to make things as difficult as I made things for myself.

    During my time couch surfing, I was working odd jobs here and there to have enough money for food and extra-curricular activities.  I went to Utah near the end of this adventure for some “soul searching.” After “finding myself,” or not finding myself, I ended up back in Arizona working as a helpdesk tech for two companies.  I went with one of those companies 3 years later when they switched offices and took over as the Systems Administrator.  I now (as of 2020) work for a managed services provider supporting various companies with their technology needs. 

    As I write this blurb about my journey and my past, many thoughts come to mind of what I learned along the way.  I might refer back to this when I need a topic to write about.  Like my lack of desire studying something I wasn’t passionate about or the years spent partying and what that taught me about what I want out of life.

    Faith-wise, I started falling away from the church, due to my choices, when I was 16.  I always had a testimony of this restored church, of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and Jesus Christ.  That never changed.  Despite my many mistakes and many wrong decisions, I always knew it was true.  When I went to ASU I lost contact with the church completely.  It amazes me to look back and realize I didn’t even know where the church building/institute building/anything related to the church was on campus.  It’s like I’d lost connection with that part of me.

    Throughout the years I’d attempt half-heartedly to return to church.  It never stuck.  I was completely inactive from about 18-25.  Seven long years of inactivity.

    As of this year, 2020, I’ve been back at church for four years and never been happier.  I hope to express through my writing the joy the gospel has brought me and share some of my experiences that can maybe help others.  That’s the hope.  I’ve felt drawn to writing these entries so if one person is helped it’s a major win.

    And if all these hopes fail, I’ll at least be able to look back on everything I’ve written.  One day I can show my daughter and she can know I always believed.  She can see it wasn’t always easy.  She can see life has ups and downs, but it will work out.  Have faith.  That makes this worth writing.