No Coincidences

Tag: knowledge

  • Who Will You Become?

    Who Will You Become?

    “You wasted it,” he said.

    I looked back, confused by what I was seeing. I considered a response. All that came was, “Who are you?” 

    “I’m all that you could have been,” he replied.   

    He looked just like me. I guess I couldn’t have been a bodybuilder. “What do you mean I wasted it?” I asked. 

    “You were given so much. So much opportunity. So much of a head start. You were raised to know God. You were raised to know Jesus Christ. You were raised to know why you were here and where you were going. And look what you did with it.” 

    I stared back dumbly. Ok, that was unfair. I got married late. Had one kid. Got divorced. Held down a decent job for most of my life. Maybe I drank a bit too much and I had a propensity to gamble. But my son loved me, despite my faults. My life wasn’t perfect by any means but a waste? This seemed over the top.  

    “I didn’t waste it. My life? It wasn’t wasted,” I finally said. I had no other defense than to repeatedly say it wasn’t a waste.

    “I’ve come to tell you that you did. I’m sorry,” the other me seemed to say with real compassion. Would I have been equally compassionate in his shoes? 

    “What did you do differently?” I asked. 

    A vision opened up to me. This must have been what so many near-death-experiencers describe as a life review, but this wasn’t my life. It was me I was seeing, but it wasn’t my life. It was my life for stretches. But then something changed. In a miraculous way I saw it all. The thoughts, the struggle, the fear, the doubt, and the triumph. I saw the grappling with faith.

    In my life, I’d never come back to God. It was too painful to feel like I’d let Him down. The focus of this vision was one critical moment.  A prayer to God begging Him to take this alternate version of me back. I’d never done that. 

    The vision flew through other minor and major events. The major events: Marriage, but not at the venue I got married at, this was performed at a beautiful white building. A temple. A wife he (the alternate version) was faithful to. Children that didn’t just “love” him but admired and adored him. Children that had their own faith that strengthened and guided them in a fallen world. A wife that appreciated him and stuck with him through it all. 

    Then seemingly minor but apparently important events: Service, church callings, prayers, books read, time spent studying, time spent writing, small discussions, small moments shared, smiles, gratitude, forgiveness, sharing, giving. I had to admit it was a much different life than the one I had lived. It sure had a lot less football on Sundays.

    Did I waste it?

    In 2021 when I wrote the above, I had heard the question, “If on the last day of your life you met the person you could have been, what would you say to each other?” 

    That inspired me to write the brief dialogue above. It’s what I thought that interaction could look like if I never turned back to God and reminded myself what is truly important about this life.

  • Grandpa Frank

    Grandpa Frank

    My most vivid memory of Grandpa Frank, aside from the “Wogs” (the nickname he had for me) and sitting on his lap as a kid, being squeezed into a ball, and being told I would grow up that way, is a few years ago when he bore his testimony in a church meeting. Paraphrasing, Grandpa said:

    “I miss my wife. I miss my daughter. I miss them so much. But this Gospel tells me I will see them again. That means more to me than anything. And I know it’s true, and that brings me so much comfort.”

    As the legend goes, Grandma Leach converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in her early 30s. While Grandma lugged kids to church every Sunday, Grandpa Frank would watch football, golf, or go fishing. He seldom attended. He showed little to no interest in church.

    Again, as legend goes, after over a decade of this, the bishop of Grandma’s ward came to the door one day.

    “Are you excited for this Saturday?!” He asked.

    “What is happening Saturday?” Grandma asked, confused.

    “Frank’s baptism!” The bishop exclaimed.

    Grandma had no idea. For months, on the sly, Grandpa Frank had been meeting with the missionaries and studying the Book of Mormon. He decided it was true. I have no idea why he never told Grandma. I don’t think anyone knows. Maybe this is where I get my secretive, stubborn, frustratingly independent qualities (sorry Beth).

    That Saturday he got baptized and proceeded to go to church with the family from then on.

    What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, really?

    Change. A man who preferred football, golf, or fishing realized the most important thing in his world was his family. He sacrificed what he wanted to do on Sunday for them.

    What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, really?

    Faith. A man who decided to believe something extraordinary: he could and would spend eternity with those he loved most.

    What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, really?

    Love.

    I didn’t cry when I heard Grandpa died. I know I’ll see him again. I know where he is. I know he’s happy.

    As I write this, a vision comes to my mind.

    Grandpa Frank sees Grandma Sandra. He smiles. He is overjoyed to be reunited with the love of his love, his constant companion until the previous four years separated them temporarily. He embraces her. “It’s really true, Sandra?”

    “You always knew it was,” Grandma tells him.

    Others come. Grandpa is surrounded by Laura, Mike, Henry, Olivia, parents, grandparents, friends, loved ones, and Bengie, of course. They rejoice. People (and a dog) he missed so much, but always knew he’d see again.

    As I picture this reunion, and I think about where I am, similarly stubborn and obnoxious as Grandpa Frank, I think about my daughters, and this family I’ve been given. I think about the faith I’ve gained because I’ve seen examples of real faith. Faith as tangible as this keyboard I now type on. Grandpa Frank’s faith was real. I think about those I’ll one day see again. I think about those I have in my life now, that I’ll be able to have in my life forever. As I consider this all, I cry tears of joy.

    This is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    I know that Grandpa knew it and I know where he is now.

    What greater comfort is there than this?

    Thank you, Grandpa, I’ll see you soon.

  • “Education is not about obscure facts and little test scores” – Mr. Feeny

    “Education is not about obscure facts and little test scores” – Mr. Feeny

    “Education is not about obscure facts and little test scores. Education is about the overall effect of years of slow absorption of concepts, philosophies, approaches to problem-solving. The whole process is so grand and all-encompassing that it really can’t be threatened by the occasional late-night no-hitter. It is important that a boy spend time with his father.”

    Oh, the wisdom of Mr. Feeny.

    I’ve had some good teachers in my life. I consider Mr. Feeny to be one of them, even though he’s a fictional character.

    Quick recap of this classic Boy Meets World episode. Alan (Cory’s father) pulls Cory out of bed late at night to watch a no-hitter in progress in a Phillies baseball game. The next day Cory sleeps through a test. Alan goes to speak to Mr. Feeny to ask if Cory could have a makeup test. Mr. Feeny denies his request.

    It is later in the episode, during a late-night stargazing, apple juice session that Cory sits down with Mr. Feeny and Mr. Feeny gives the above quote.

    Education is not about one moment. It’s about a billion small moments.

    I often reflect back on that quote. I have read more in 2020 (the year I wrote this post) than any previous year. I don’t feel any smarter today than I did a year ago, I don’t think. But that’s not how knowledge-gaining works. It doesn’t happen over the course of a day or a week or even a year. Learning is an ongoing process. I hope to look back on the year 2020 and appreciate that it helped me learn things that would help me learn more and grow for the rest of my life.

    I look forward to learning into eternity.

    It is important that a boy (or girl) spend time with his (or her) father (or mother). What is the value of time with a father, a mother, someone who loves you? I believe it’s invaluable.

    The episode continues and both Mr. Feeny and Alan come to Cory separately and tell Cory that the other was right in their decision. Alan tells Cory Mr. Feeny was right to not let him retake the test and that Alan shouldn’t have pulled Cory out of bed. Obviously, the quote above indicates that Mr. Feeny approved of Alan’s pulling Cory out of bed to spend time with his son, despite not letting Cory re-take the test.

    Later, Cory is talking to his mom and he asks her how two people could both think the other was right, while seemingly disagreeing with one another. The lesson here is that the world is not black and white. There are many judgment calls where there is no perfect decision. There are many decisions that depend on your intent.

    Cory’s dad was not wrong for wanting to spend time with his son. His desire was good and admirable. Mr. Feeny agreed with that.

    Mr. Feeny had a standard he had long set that he would take no excuses from students as to why they failed a test. He couldn’t back down from that standard. His standard was set so he would always hold his students accountable and not let them down. Mr. Feeny had a good reason for denying Alan’s request.

    Both were right. Both agreed with the other’s reasoning.

    The conversation between Mr. Feeny and Cory’s dad was contentious. It ended with Mr. Feeny saying, “this conversation is over.” Both men ended up telling Cory the other was right. Why is that? Respect, introspection, understanding of the reasoning behind another’s viewpoint.

    We could do with much more of this in the world today.

  • Books in 2022

    Books in 2022

    It’s time for my annual list of books read last year. My 2022 list is down quite a bit due to some non-book reading and studying. I’ll rank the books from favorite to least favorite with a short description of what I remember about the book or what led to its ranking.

    Without further ado, here is my list of books from 2022:

    1. Marvelous Work and a Wonder
      • One of my favorite (and most important) books ever, so despite it being my third or fourth read, still has to top the list. This book lays out just how marvelous a work and a wonder the restoration of Christ’s gospel is.
    2. God Emperor of Dune (book 4)
      • This is the fourth book in the Dune series and comes ahead of Children of Dune and Dune Messiah.
    3. Children of Dune (book 3)
      • It’s hard to separate all these books, they blend into one in my mind, but I think God Emperor was my favorite after book 1, followed by Children of Dune. We’ll get to Dune Messiah later.
    4. 5000 Year Leap
      • This book was given to me by CJ Matthews and as you can see by its ranking, I highly enjoyed it. It resulted in a blog post which is a sign of a good book that made me think.
    5. Project Hail Mary
      • This was another recommended book, this one from John Safstrom. I loved this book, close call between this and the author’s other popular book turned feature film, The Martian starring Matt Damon.
    6. What a Difference a Daddy Makes
      • Yet another recommended book, thanks Mitch Waters who recommended this book after he heard my second daughter was coming. Must read for any girl dad.
    7. The Cuckoo’s Calling
      • J.K. Rowling is a modern marvel. I love her and her writing. While reading, knowing Robert Galbraith is a pseudonym, I couldn’t help but recognize her amazing writing style. This book was so good it made me continue on with the series and I’m currently on book 3, “Career of Evil.”
    8. Night Chills
      • Classic Dean Koontz, spooky and fast-paced. I recommended this to a friend along with a long Stephen King novel (Tommyknockers). The friend quit Tommyknockers and finished Night Chills.
    9. Dune Messiah (book 2)
      • This one drops a bit below the others because I think it was more of a transition book to keep the series going, at least that’s what Frank Herbert seems to have said about the book. It’s still ranked highly because the Dune series is so awesome and sometimes you need bridging books to make the next ones that much better.
    10. Eli’s Promise
      • Any book that makes me cry multiple times probably needs to be in the top ten. This book was a split between Holocaust and modern-day time lines, jumping around a bunch, which kept things interesting throughout.
    11. Herland
      • Classic book I never read in high school but when it was assigned reading for a class I took this year, I decided to actually read the whole book. Glad I did. Book is based around the idea of a women-only society.
    12. Ford County Stories
      • I really like John Grisham. This is a book of short stories focused around Ford County. You know an author is good when they take a topic you have zero interest in, like a small Mississippi town, and make you love it.
    13. Knees Over Toes
      • This book was tough to rank because it made huge changes to my daily habits and saved my Achilles, but can’t be rated higher as a book than the ones above it. Recommended to me by my brother Garrick.
    14. Simplified Husbandship Simplified Fathership
      • This was an impactful book overall but a notch below What a Difference a Daddy Makes (#6). Definitely made me think more seriously about being a father and husband.
    15. Silmarillion
      • I Enjoy the Lord of the Rings stuff, but the mythology can be a bit to keep up with sometimes. I really enjoyed the Silmarillion, but Lord of the Rings books in general are lower on my list due to their density. If I’m reading a fantasy fiction, I like to spend less time trying to understand geography.
    16. Book of Lost Tales Vol 2
      • See notes on Silmarillion, this one is more dense than the Silmarillion since the Silmarillion is like a mythological overview, which made it more enjoyable to me.
    17. The Book of Lost Tales Vol 1
      • The Books of Lost Tales are going way back in the Lord of the Rings mythology, farther than JRR Tolkien ever got published. They’re his son compiling his notes and other works to put together more stories. I enjoy them, but again, very dense and a lot of geography to try to understand sometimes.
    18. A Guide to Tolkien
      • This was basically an encyclopedia of Tolkien. Someday I’ll read the actual encyclopedia.
    19. Just to Illustrate
      • This was a collection of sayings from LeGrand Richards, thus the saying “Just to illustrate,” which apparently was something he was known for saying. Very much enjoyed this book. Though it’s low on the list, LeGrand is one of my favorite people ever.
    20. Faith in the Service
      • This book was all about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that served in the military. As I review this list I realize I didn’t read many bad books this year. I really enjoyed this book, and it still falls near the bottom for the year.
    21. Mormon Reflections: The Path to Mountain Meadows
      • This was a fictional account of what could have led to the horrific events of the Mountain Meadows massacre. Made me think about things. Made me wonder what events could have led to people doing something so heinous.
    22. Joshua Man of Faith
      • This is from a series of books that details the ancient prophets. I read the Moses (# 24) one last year. I didn’t like this one as much as the Moses one. It’s hard to compete with Moses.
    23. Profiles of the Presidents
      • This was a biographical book of all the Presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
    24. True to the Faith
      • Almost feels wrong having this so low, but it is essentially a textbook. A textbook on faith, but still a textbook. Weird having a book so low that I feel I should read at least once a year.
    25. What Da Vinci Didn’t Know
      • A book being this low basically means it didn’t stand out to me. I think this book was basically trying to get in on the Da Vinci Code movie hype. I don’t remember learning anything super interesting from this book besides that Leonardo da Vinci was “Leonardo from Vinci.”
    26. 40 Years and Marching On
      • Despite probably liking this book more than What Da Vinci Didn’t Know, I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything about the book until I found it on my shelf. A book that un-memorable gets demoted. It was a BYU studies book that was interesting but still bottom of the list for the year due to being forgotten.

    Additional reading:

    1. Book of Mormon
    2. Doctrine & Covenants
      • Finished Doctrine and Covenants sections 133-Official Declarations. Read alongside two student manuals.
    3. New Testament
      • Book of Matthew and started Book of Mark, reading alongside New Testament Student Manual.
    4. Come Follow Me lesson each week
    5. Did a semester of school and completed 15 credits.
      • Most memorable reading was Nietzche.

    Couldn’t pick my favorite for the cover photo, so keeping with tradition from last year:

  • Devastation of Ignorance

    Devastation of Ignorance

    Recently I was trying to do something I had no idea how to do.  Let’s call it HTML coding.  The point I need to stress here is I was starting at point 0.  I’d done little to no coding and didn’t understand HTML, and still don’t.

    It’s not my job to know HTML so it was fine, it was just something I had to figure out.

    I was doing some research and trying to understand the format needed for what I was trying to create.  Looking at the code I made some assumptions.  For example, I thought a symbol at the beginning indicated “this is the start” and a symbol at the end indicated “this is the end.”

    I spent a lot of time struggling with this.  As I thought I was figuring something out, I’d test it, and realize I was getting farther away.  I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

    I finally engaged someone I worked with.  This person knew almost nothing about HTML.  If I was a 0 this person was a 1.  He also knew very little about HTML but he immediately recognized something.  The part at the beginning that I thought indicated the start wasn’t needed at all.  It could be removed.

    I removed the beginning and it looked exactly how I needed it to.

    He knew little, but the little he knew made a huge difference.

    I realized something from this.  I saw how devastating ignorance can be.  If I knew just a little, I could have completed this task very quickly.  Instead, I spent a lot of time going in circles.

    Why is knowledge so important?  Because ignorance kills.

    I think we see this principle amplified in our society today.  We are surrounded by misinformation and while we’re in the age of technology and information is at our fingertips, false information is as easily accessible as true information.

    What this makes me appreciate is the truth and knowledge of God.  There is no misinformation with Him.  There is no ignorance.  God knows our yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  He is all truth.

    I’m glad that what we learn here goes with us.  I’m glad the knowledge we gain here stays with us and helps us.  This is one of my favorite principles of the gospel.