Tag: mortality

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • Korean Children’s Choir

    Korean Children’s Choir

    When I was watching General Conference and the Korean children’s choir started singing “I Love to see the Temple” in a language I did not understand, something amazing hit me. 

    I don’t know why this thought was spurred by this song from these children.

    That feeling was this-

    I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. 

    How blessed I am to not only be on this earth at a time when His church exists, but to be a member of that Church.  Jesus Christ’s Church.  His Church! 

    As I listened to words I didn’t understand but music I could never misplace, and as the spirit filled me and tears filled my eyes, I realized something.

    If I lived during a time when the Church of Jesus Christ did not exist on the earth, I would have forever lived my mortal existence with a hole in my spirit and my experience.  It occurred to me that if I lived in any other dispensation, I would have felt a distinct emptiness within me.  Maybe this realization happened at that moment because at that particular moment, I was so filled to the brim with a spiritual feeling that I’ve come to rely upon so heavily.

    What a challenge it would have been to live in a world without the Gospel of Jesus Christ in its fullness.

    We live in a difficult and challenging world.  But amidst that challenge I am a 30-minute drive from 3 different temples. 

    How blessed I am.

    I am so grateful to live today, with the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ fully present, and His Church in full force.

    What would I have done without it?

    Maybe God knew I could not endure that emptiness.  Maybe that’s why I’m here at this moment.

    For whatever reason I am here now, today, I am grateful for it.  Grateful beyond measure. 

  • Satan’s Story

    Satan’s Story

    Who is Satan?

    I believe a careful reading of different scriptural records gives us a picture of Satan’s progression and tells us how he ultimately ended up cast down.  There will be a lot of scriptural references here (duh).  If you follow the story something becomes pretty clear about Satan.  There’s a major revelation I learned about Satan that I never understood, and I don’t think many church members know.

    Before I start I want to mention, my interest in studying Satan is the opposite of my interest in studying Christ, but helps with the same purpose.  I think it’s good to study Satan to see how he fell and to avoid the behavior he exhibited that led him there.  Through his story you see examples of pride, unrighteous ambition, anger, envy, jealousy, bitterness, selfishness, along with many other negative attributes.  All of Satan’s attributes are the direct opposite to the traits of Jesus Christ.  Ultimately Satan became a being of darkness.  He rejected all light.  Many around us reject light and I think as we understand Satan and understand his motivations (to tempt, enslave, and control us) we are better suited to withstand him.  With that, we begin. 

    Satan’s story starts in the Book of Moses chapter 4:1-2:

    And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying—Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.

    But, behold, my Beloved Son, which was my Beloved and Chosen from the beginning, said unto me—Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.

    Here we see what I believe is well known to Latter-day Saints.  Heavenly Father asked, “who will I send?”

    Satan came forth and responded, “Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.”

    Christ said, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.”

    We know what happens here, though it isn’t said in these two verses.  Christ is chosen by the Father.

    Prayers to our Heavenly Father, in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ Amen  - Home | Facebook

    Now we’re going to jump to a new book of scripture to continue Satan’s story.  Abraham 3:24-28 reads:

    24 And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell;

    25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

    26 And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.

    27 And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.

    28 And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.

    In verse 24 – “one among them that was like unto God” – clearly refers to Jesus Christ.  He is speaking to “those who were with him.”  He goes on to talk about the first and second estates of man, of us.  Verse 27 is where it gets important.

    Verse 27 – The Lord (Jesus Christ) said, “Whom shall I send?”  Note that Christ is following the same pattern He learned from His Father. “And one answered like unto the Son of Man.”  This is Adam, the first man, or Michael as he was known in the premortal existence.  Adam said, “Here am I, send me.”

    Still in verse 27 – “And another answered and said: Here am I, send me.” – This will prove to be Satan.

    “And the Lord said: I will send the first.”

    Now the critical verse 28:

    “And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.”

    So, it is clearly put forth here.  I always thought Satan rebelled at Christ being chosen by the Father, and maybe he did in his heart.  If you read Moses chapter 4 straight through that is how it seems.  But when you read this story sequentially, we see what actually happened.  Christ was chosen by the Father.  Christ is essentially now leading the “project” under the direction of Heavenly Father.  He is standing with others helping in the work.  He follows the Father’s pattern and asks who will be the first man.  Here Christ chooses Adam over Satan.

    This adds a dimension to my understanding of Satan.  A couple things of note.  First, we know from the beginning Satan wanted the glory and wanted all of God’s children to return to heaven (see Moses 4:1).  When he is passed over, he doesn’t openly rebel yet.  When Christ is choosing who will be the first man, it’s possible Satan still saw a way to foil God’s plan and have all the honor given to him.  He would go down as the first man and he would refuse to fall.  If Satan went as the first man and refused to fall, man could never choose and therefore could never sin. If man couldn’t sin, there would be no need for a redeemer, there would be no choice, repentance, or progression. Satan would bring everyone back to heaven and in so doing destroy their agency.  I think this was his plan.

    Christ wisely chooses Adam to be the father of all and lead the human race into mortality.

    It’s at this point we see Satan has had enough.  He’s been passed over once by the Father. Now the one who took what he believed to be his rightful spot is choosing to pass him over as well.

    Verse 28: “And the second (Satan) was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him. – Emphasis added.

    Was Satan part of Heavenly Father's original plan?

    Here we see Satan’s rebellion.  Here we see he leads “many” away.  Before we continue with Satan’s story, I feel it’s important to remind you:  Congratulations!  If you’re reading this, you kept your first estate and are in the process of keeping your second estate.  Keep it up and you’re promised to “have glory added upon (your) head for ever and ever” (Abraham 3:26).

    Back to Satan. 

    Our story picks back up in Revelations chapter 12.  I’ll be using the Joseph Smith Translation as it makes everything so much clearer. 

    The first part of Revelations 12:4 reads:

    “And there appeared another sign in heaven; and behold, a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth.”

    The great red dragon is obviously Satan, and here we see he drew away one third of the children of God after him. He and his followers were cast down to earth.

    Revelations 12:6

    “And there was war in heaven; Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought against Michael;

    Michael (Adam) and his angels fought against Satan and his angels.

    Verse 7 tells us that Michael and his angels (who might be us!?) prevailed.

    Revelations 12:8

    “Neither was there place found in heaven for the great dragon, who was cast out; that old serpent called the devil, and also called Satan, which deceiveth the whole world; he was cast out into the earth; and his angels were cast out with him.”

    Here we see the official result.  There was no more place found in heaven for Satan, his followers, and their rebellion against Christ, which meant rebellion against God.  Satan’s plan was foiled.  He was not chosen to be the redeemer of man and he was not chosen to be the first man where he could foil God’s Plan of Salvation.  He was cast down, in bitterness.

    In conclusion, it doesn’t appear Satan rebelled at the outset. He was conniving and always looking for another way to enslave us, God’s children.  I mentioned it earlier but every person on this earth already chose Christ.  We were not fooled by Satan.  We are here. 

    How did Satan get one third to follow him?  I think if we carefully consider this question we can come up with some likely possibilities.  There were many in the premortal existence that maybe didn’t properly prepare for this life, our second estate.  When the time came to be tested, those who didn’t prepare would be fearful.  We knew that some would fail to reach the Celestial Kingdom, and those among the host of heaven who had not used their agency to prepare well for mortal life were likely cognizant of that fact. From there it would be easy for Satan to convince some that they would fail, and they should therefore follow him.

    Secondly, I believe Satan’s focus in the premortal life would have been to doubt Jesus Christ and his ability to redeem us.  I believe Satan would have told many that Christ would fail, and then what?  They would all fail and never be able to return home.  I believe Satan likely attacked Christ.  This would also be an attack on the ability to repent.  Satan would have told those who didn’t use their agency well premortally that they wouldn’t use their agency well in life, that they wouldn’t repent, and change, and improve, and would ultimately fail.  It’s the same tactic Satan uses today.

    I invite everyone to hold firmly in your heart, remember, you chose Christ already.  You were valiant already.  You were brave already.  You may have already fought Satan in heaven with Michael. You won.  You are still fighting Satan today and you can still win.  Remember that he is the father of lies, and Christ is our salvation.  Look to Christ, keep your faith in him, keep repenting, keep changing, keep looking to Christ and we will all return to Him again. 

    I know that Satan is never giving up, just like he never gave up in the premortal life.  Just like in the premortal life we will prevail.  We have Christ on our side.  With Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father on our team, we cannot lose.

    Was God the Father the literal father of Jesus Christ?