The greatest moment of my life happens every morning. By that I mean, almost every day I have a new moment that is the new best moment of my entire life. It’s awesome.
I start work early every morning. I’m already up and working (hopefully) when Ivy starts to wake up. Beth has the monitor by the bed, so I can hear when Ivy starts to stir.
When I see Ivy in the morning, her face is the most pure form of joy I’ve ever seen. In turn, that brings me the most joy I’ve ever experienced. Seeing her light up and grin ear to ear and be SO happy, it’s indescribable.
I can imagine her thinking, “Oh, you’re still here! This is amazing! You’re still my dad! I’m so glad to see you!”
That’s what her smile says to me.
This parenting thing is super hard. It’s beyond exhausting (more to come on that in the next post). There’s a lot of stress and pressure. The life of a tiny human is in our hands, after all.
But that moment where Ivy smiles at me in the morning, makes this, without question, the best experience of life.
Ivy came today. I’m writing this in a bit of a haze. I keep getting told to get used to it.
Beth started having contractions around 2AM this morning. Apparently I asked her if she was OK around 2:30AM. Don’t have a complete recollection of that.
Around 5AM her water broke. We were at the hospital around 6AM. Beth got checked in and I believe was around 3.5cm.
At 6:30AM I received a text from my father-in-law (shout out Keith Cannon), “Of course we’re praying for Beth and Ivy. But also for you. I hope you stay conscious. Good luck.”
Between 6AM and 8:30AM things moved very quickly.
At 7:57AM I texted my mom and told her Beth seemed to be in so much pain. They wanted her to finish some pitocin.
I think it was 8:30AM when they came back in and kind of freaked out. Beth was in excruciating pain and at about 9cm. 10cm (I learned) is what is needed to start delivery.
I started getting our stuff together while they quickly wheeled her to the delivery room. When I came out into the hallway they were gone. I started wandering and came upon a man in scrubs. I asked him if someone came this way and he asked who. I told him he would have known if they did. I walked down the other hall and came up to a nurse. She asked what I was looking for and I said, “the screaming.” She led me to the delivery room.
I texted my mom from the delivery room at 9:07am, “Close.”
They finally got the epidural in at that time which made things drastically better. Beth improved immediately.
From 9:07AM to 9:23AM Beth went from writhing, screaming, and crying in pain to texting my mom. “Epidural has kicked in and I’m 10cm. I’ll probably deliver in an hour or so. They were shocked how fast I was moving.”
I’ve heard over and over about this thing that happens when becoming a father. I can’t emphasize it enough. I can’t say it with adequate enthusiasm or exaggeration.
When I first saw Ivy James Quackenbush my heart expanded, my world flipped upside down. In an instant I realized I would do anything, I would give my life without a second thought and at a moment’s notice for that beautiful soul. She was perfect, so beautiful.
I wish I could put it into words, but they’re not enough. My life as I knew it was over. And I knew it. This little thing was the new center. The center of my universe- along with Beth.
Watching what Beth went through, so much pain, to bring this life into the world. I instantly had something open up inside of me. Appreciation for my mother. ‘She went through this for me?!?!’ Love and awe at the strength of my wife and all women. How can a man walk out on a wife after seeing her bring the most important thing in the world, into the world? I thought of so many mothers – Eve, Mary, my mom, my wife. My Ivy.
How can women be treated the way they are in the world when they are the entire world? They’re why we’re all here.
I loved these two in a way I didn’t know was possible.
I couldn’t stop staring at Ivy. The gravitational pull of the universe had changed.
Beth held her and she screamed. Let the record show I cut the cord. She screamed and it was simultaneously the most fascinating and most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I didn’t know a scream could be so powerful.
I put my finger out and Ivy grabbed. She stopped screaming. The nurses started to take her for measurements and she wouldn’t let go of my finger. My heart!
I followed her. The thoughts I hadn’t let start because her coming had always been surreal started to flood my mind: I’m going to play basketball with her. I hope she loves basketball. We’ll play together. We’ll be best friends. I hope I never hurt her. I hope I can always protect her.
How does Heavenly Father love me? I’m a little closer to understanding today. I’m a little closer to understanding what true love is.
Ivy James Quackenbush and Elisabeth Brooke Quackenbush. My family.
My dad hates baseball. I hate baseball. My dad played basketball in high school. I played basketball in high school. My dad is pretty ‘eh’ about football. He doesn’t hate it but he’s also not super passionate about it. How do you think I feel about football?
We generally follow our dad or parents’ lead in many ways. I used sports because it’s a simple and easy example that is often true. Another example is country music. Dad hates it and I hate it. Why is this important? As I often do, I thought about this in a spiritual context.
In the church, parents are implored to raise their children with the scriptures and to teach them of Jesus Christ. To teach them of their Heavenly Father. The scriptures are the gateway into this knowledge. I’ve recently been thinking about the importance of raising kids to have knowledge of what’s truly important. That, with love, will shape children into what they will become.
It’s hard to quantify how the way I was raised impacted who I am today. I wouldn’t say my parents were the most vigilant scriptorians. To be honest, I don’t remember reading the scriptures as a family, though I’m sure there were times. Despite that, I always knew they were important. Even if we didn’t always read them, I respected them. That’s potentially the most important thing my parents gave me, a respect for scripture. The same thing goes for church. We may not have gone every week but growing up I knew it was important.
Consider a scriptural example of young men raised right. They were raised to love their parents and love their freedom. The account of the two thousand stripling warriors in the book of Alma shows us the profound influence good parents can have on children. The parents of those 2,000 young men made a covenant not to raise weapons ever again against their brethren. They were willing to die first. Their children made no such covenant. Since these children loved their parents, God, and their freedom, they willingly went to battle.
The story is well known in the Church. For those who aren’t familiar, go read chapter 56 in Alma of the Book of Mormon. Of those 2,000 young men, not a single life was lost. Many were hurt and injured, but not one killed. They fought in a war and all were accounted for. What explains this? Their faith. Alma 56:47-48 reads “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” These young men were raised to trust God. The impact of their parents’ teachings made them powerful warriors.
Scripture becomes even more important because of the world we live in today. We are surrounded by temptation. The world has turned from God, turned from Christ. We’ve started to depend on our own knowledge and understanding. It’s interesting, at the time we have the most access to scripture and to the lessons of the past, we have most aggressively turned from God. The time will come as it always does when God will remind man of their weak and feeble state. We’ve become so used to buying food at the grocery store, we forget where that food ultimately comes from. Drought and famine will happen, even in our modern, comfortable world. Then people will turn to God. It will be too late, as we see in scripture.
Now is the time to raise children with a love of God. Not a fear, a love. That love comes from reading the scriptures. Love for God comes from seeing all that He has given us. We are nothing and have nothing without Him.
Alma 57:21 reads, “Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them.” And in verse 27, “Now this was the faith of these of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually.”
It’s so important that youth today are raised with faith. Our future depends on them. Their faith will be the most important thing they have as the world becomes increasingly faithless. Parents must be examples to their children first and lead them to the scriptures second. I’m not a parent yet, but I hope one day to have kids that are filled with faith, love for others, and a humble appreciation for all that God has given them. I often ponder what I can do to instill these values in my future children.
The answer is simple: direct them to the scriptures.
We’ll Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman) – The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square
If you liked this post and also love the scriptures because of your parents, share this with them to thank them.
No Coincidences 