No Coincidences

Tag: public speaking

  • Me and Moses

    Me and Moses

    Before you start reading, I will be comparing my WEAKNESS to Moses’s weakness. Don’t worry, I’m not comparing myself to Moses in a good way.

    I liked that title for this blog post because it gives off a good ‘ole image of Moses and I getting ready to go do some fishin’ or somethin’.

    There is never a moment I feel more like Moses than when I’m asked to speak in public, especially in church.

    I’m referring to Exodus 4:10:

    10 And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

    When I first thought about coming back to church in ~2011 there was one overwhelming obstacle in my path: what if I’m asked to speak??? I know to many this seems absurd. But I hope it goes to illustrate how big a fear this was (and still is) for me. I have memories of being a deacon (12–13-year-old) in church and dreading a Sunday School class I learned would be spent reading scripture out loud. It filled my entire body with fear. It made me lock up. It made my throat tight. It made me gulp over and over. It made me sweat. I would start to feel like I might throw up.

    Some of you think you have a fear of public speaking.

    Now do you get how big a fear this was and still is?

    I know others have it worse than me.

    When I did finally come back to church in ~2015, I had to make a decision early on. That decision was that I would not let my fear of speaking hold me back. God had brought me back and I had experiences to share and people to help. Not only that, but I had to learn to lessen the control fear had on my life.

    I decided when I was asked to speak in church, I would accept. That was until that first text came in one morning asking me to give the opening prayer in church that day. I froze. Instead of responding to the text, I called a mentor (I miss you Jessie) and talked it through. He reminded me that if I said no today, when would it stop? By the time I responded to the bishopric member who asked me to give the prayer, he had already reassigned it to someone else. I was off the hook that day, but I promised myself the next time I was asked to speak, I would accept without hesitation, before I could let the fear and excuses set in.

    Little did I know how much that next call would try my faith.

    I was in the middle of studying for a work certification. I’d already failed the test once and this next test was extremely important. I’d been studying for weeks. The test was a couple weeks away when I got the call. I was asked if I could speak in church in two weeks. The excuses flooded my mind: I have this test I’m studying for, I can’t write a talk, and besides, the added stress…! I can’t, I’ll have to accept next time.

    Then I remembered the promise I made myself. 

    “Yes, I will speak.”

    That taught me an important lesson. If we let our fears control us, they will. There are always excuses why NOT to do something that makes us uncomfortable. I spoke two weeks later in church. Beth still talks about that day, hearing me speak, as being the first day I caught her attention.

    From that day forward if I was asked to bless the sacrament, give an announcement in church, say the prayer, teach a lesson, or speak, I always answered yes without hesitation. It petrified me every time. I remember one day I gave someone the Holy Ghost which entailed laying my hands on a friend’s head and giving her a priesthood blessing in front of our entire church. That same day I also blessed the sacrament in front of the whole church, and I gave a talk in front of the whole church.

    Any one of those things in a given day would have given me nightmares.

    Before sacrament, I started to feel sick to my stomach. I thought I was going to be physically ill. I went to an empty classroom, I knelt, and I prayed for help.

    “Please, Heavenly Father, please, just help me get through this. I need you.”

    That may have been the day I solidified my knowledge that I can’t do anything without God, I’m nothing without Him.

    When I gave that blessing to the friend, bestowing the Holy Ghost upon her, I walked up with knees shaking. I thought I was going to, at a minimum fall over, and possibly faint. My throat was dry, and it hurt. I’ll never forget the feeling when I put my hands on her head, with the whole congregation, heads bowed, waiting for me to speak.

    I’ll never forget feeling like a cold bucket of water was poured over my head. From my head down to my toes I felt a tingling. Calm overcame me.

    My grandpa used to say his favorite thing in the world was to give a priesthood blessing because it was the closest he ever felt to God. He said he could feel God in those moments speaking through him.

    That’s what I experienced that day.

    I wrote this on a day that I was speaking in church. I still get kind of sick to my stomach. I still get extremely nervous. I still have to fight back the panic.

    Sometimes people tell me they can’t tell I’m nervous when I speak. I appreciate that, but sometimes I just wish everyone knew. There’s power in putting it out there.

    For others who have this fear, and I know there are many, my biggest advice is to put it out there. Don’t shy away from your fear. When I’m extra nervous, I might just say, “I’m really nervous right now.” Then I feel like I’ve removed the question from those watching and from myself worrying about it. I’ve found this to really help when public speaking.

    I’m grateful for my fear of speaking. It’s assured me, and is a constant reminder, that I can’t do anything without God.

    For those wondering, on the day I wrote this, I did end up speaking and it did go OK. I was supposed to speak for 10 minutes and spoke for 22 due to an excess of time being available. I feel that with practice anything can become more comfortable, and that’s definitely the case with me and public speaking.

    I’ve now taken to challenging myself a little more, to see just how far I can take this reliance on God. The last time I was asked to speak in church I intentionally put zero preparation into my talk. I was asked to speak last minute, a couple days beforehand, due to someone canceling, and the topic was “personal revelation,” so I thought it was a fitting time to try it.

    I got up before the church with little idea of what I was going to share. As I looked around at the congregation, I knew what I wanted to share.

    I’m grateful for the opportunity to speak in church. I’m grateful to be able to share my thoughts and experiences. This fear is a constant reminder that I need God, and I’m grateful for this weakness. Every time I’m asked to speak I’m reminded how weak and silly I am. We can look at all our weaknesses this way, as a reminder of how much we need Him. I know as we do this we come closer to God and better appreciate all He has done and continues to do for us.

  • Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    I recently shared Beth’s amazing talk given on the natural man being an enemy to God. That can be read by clicking HERE.

    The following week I was asked to give a talk on the topic, “how can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?” I thought I’d share that as well. My written talk was more of an outline, but here were my notes.

    Introduction

    Good morning!

    If you were here last week then you saw my wife already introduce us when she spoke.  For those that weren’t here, I am Brayden Quackenbush.  My wife goes by Beth, and we have a 1-year-old daughter named Ivy.

    Brother Patterson commented after Beth spoke last week, quote “Clearly you, like me, have married up.”  So of course, the Bishopric has asked me to speak today, more likely for you to see that principle of marrying up in action for yourself as opposed to any spiritual enlightenment I am meant to impart.  I hope along with demonstrating the marrying up principle, my talk can also provide some uplifting spiritual content for you today.

    Topic – faith

    The topic I was asked to speak on today is, “How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?”

    Let’s start with the what.  What is faith?

    Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

    Elder Dallin H. Oaks said QUOTE: “‘Faith without works is dead.’ But ‘Works without faith is even deader.’”

    How do we increase our faith?

    Read the scriptures every day.  Pray every day.  Go to church each week.  Serve others.  Go to the temple.

    For those of you that have zoned out – Okay, let’s take a quick pause.  I know I’ve lost most of you.  You’re thinking, great, he started his talk with 5 things I’ve heard 1 MILLION times.  And then you started zoning out.  Come back to me for a second.  I’ll say it again for those who REALLY zoned out.  Come back to me.

    I could go on and on with quotes about what faith is and give ideas you’ve heard over and over and over about how to increase your faith and be exemplary latter-day saints.  In my time back at church, I’ve learned that personal experiences are powerful.  Repetition is good.  There’s a reason we hear the same things over and over.  Read scriptures, pray daily, go to church, attend the temple.  Of course, these things are good and of course these things are important.

    How?

    But HOW do we really show more faith in Jesus Christ in our daily lives.  – This is an interesting question – how?  How is so independent of anyone else’s how. How isn’t a hypothetical.  It’s an action. Faith is a principle of action.  For that reason, I can’t tell YOU how to live with more faith in Jesus Christ.  What I can do is tell you what has helped me.

    It always benefits me to hear of others’ habits, stories, experiences and how they strengthened their faith.  I hope some of my thoughts can help someone here today.

    A little background about me – I spent 7 years of my life, from age 18-25 with zero church activity.  I was about as far from the church as I could be.

    It was wholesome books brought me back. Books that started making me ask the questions – why am I here?  Where am I going?

    The books that most impacted my journey back to church, and influenced my faith in Jesus Christ were Visions of Glory by John Pontius, Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage, and of course, the Book of Mormon.

    To increase our faith, we must know in whom our faith resides.  That is Jesus Christ.  This is the first how I suggest, that helped me.  President Russell M. Nelson has repeatedly implored us to study the life of Jesus Christ, understand His ministry, understand His life, understand Him.  With more of an understanding of Him, more love for Him will naturally develop, and it will become easier to follow Him and act in faith.

    What other how’s have helped me in my daily life?

    I’ve mentioned I want to focus on faith being a principle of action.  If you have faith in Christ, it should move you towards action.

    For me, after knowing who my faith resides in, it’s helped to be conscious of what I want to accomplish.  Showing more faith in Christ daily needs to be a conscious goal.

    1. Daily affirmations
      • The cartoonist behind Dilbert, his name is Scott Adams, he talks about a habit he developed in his early 20s.  What he did was, every single day, he wrote 15 times a statement over and over.  For example, “I Scott Adams will become a famous cartoonist.”  This was before he’d ever written a comic.  Most of you have heard of Dilbert.  His second affirmation was “I Scott Adams will write a bestselling book.”  He also accomplished this goal.
      • Write what you want to accomplish in your relationship with Jesus Christ, your family, or your greatest desire.  The act of writing it each day will make it a focus in your life.
      • Examples could be:  I will love others.  I will be a loving father/mother.  I will increase my faith in Jesus Christ.  I will bring others unto Jesus Christ.  I will return to live with my Heavenly Father.
      • This makes this a focus every single day.  How did Scott Adams become a famous cartoonist?  Faith.  Now he wouldn’t say it, but that’s what he did.  He put something out there, he focused on it every single day for years and he made it a reality. 
      • Make your faith a focus in your life.
    2. This leads to another how – focus on your thoughts. 
      • A book I read recently stated that rock is sculpted one chip at a time.  Concrete is poured then molded.  People are formed one thought at a time.
      • I hope the daily affirmations example shows the power in our thoughts.
      • Guard every thought.  Any time a judgmental or unkind thought enters your mind, remove it.  Remove impatience.  Remove anger.  It is possible.  Our thoughts are ours to control.  Once you control the negative thoughts, move to loving thoughts.  Keeping your thoughts focused on God and Jesus Christ as much as possible will help.  
      • Matthew 22:37-39 “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.”
    3. The third thing that has helped me is to study the scriptures with a purpose.
      • I have a close friend who is not a member of this church.  He has read the Book of Mormon multiple times and doesn’t believe it’s divinely inspired.  He believes it was written by a man and not translated by a prophet of God.  I’ve read the Book of Mormon every day for 4 years alongside an online commentary noting every time I find something from Hugh Nibley or some other LDS scholar that can’t be explained by an uneducated farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  The note in my phone now includes well over 100 notes that can’t be explained by an ignorant farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  Each day I’m excited to find another unexplainable feature of the Book of Mormon.  That strategy has worked for me.  But I invite you to think about something that can make you interested and excited to read a little scripture each day.  By the way, if you’re interested in seeing my list of “proofs” I would love to share them.  It strengthens my testimony of this work and of the love Jesus Christ has for us in providing these “proofs” of the divine nature of the Book of Mormon to those who seek them.
    4. A fourth, and to me personally, the most important thing that has helped me with my faith is to feel the atonement of Jesus Christ.
      • Can you feel your love and appreciation for Christ and His gospel?  Really feel it, inside of you.  Feel the emotion of it.  For some, your conversion moment may be so long ago that you haven’t thought about it in a long time.  Remember what it was like to realize this was true.  Think about the comfort it brought you.  Remember the feeling of knowing that Christ died for you, and He allowed you all this.  Family, love, peace, eternity: It’s because of Him.  Close your eyes.  Remember that moment.  Feel that moment.  Do that often.
      • The best time to feel this appreciation for Jesus Christ is during the sacrament, it’s why we partake of the sacrament – to remember Him.
      • You need to feel, truly feel, what Christ has done for you.  I’ve had more of a challenge doing this during the sacrament since my daughter Ivy entered my life.  Sometimes I miss the quiet time of closing my eyes and thinking about what Christ did for me that day 2000 years ago.  But then recently I’ve found an amazing substitute.  During the sacrament I’ve found it extremely beneficial to stare at my daughter.  I think about not only what Christ did for me, but I remember that He gave her to me, He saved her, and He allows her to be mine forever.  If you aren’t brought to the verge of tears every so often when you partake of the sacrament or think about what Christ did for you, you NEED to think about it more.  Focus on it and feel it.
      • We’ll be taking the sacrament in a few minutes.  I invite you to focus on Christ.  Think where you’d be without Him.  Think about what He’s done for you eternally.  Eternal glory, forgiveness, love, peace for ALL eternity. Have you thought about the word eternity?  Forever.  That’s what He’s given you.  Feel it in your heart and thank Him with all your might, mind, and strength.
    5. The fifth important part of my faith has been to repent daily.  There is always something to repent for, no matter how good we think we are, we always fall short, and that’s ok.  Because of Him.

    That concludes my how’s of developing and strengthening faith daily, but I hope you can search out your own.

    Why?

    The last thing I’d like to talk about is the why.  Why do we need to develop more faith?  Why does our faith matter?

    When this work truly touches your heart, what do you do?

    In a book called Faith in the Service of about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the armed forces, a U.S. Air Force Chaplain gave the simple quote: “I am a convert to the gospel, and I am indebted to the missionaries who saved me spiritually.”

    Do you consider your membership of this church being spiritually saved?

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland when speaking of the Apostle John’s great desire to remain on the earth said:

    “The Apostle John asked the Lord if he, John, might remain on the earth beyond the normal span of life for no other purpose than to bring more souls unto God.  In granting that wish, the Savior said that this was ‘a greater work’ and a nobler ‘desire’ even than that of desiring to come into the presence of the Lord ‘speedily.’”

    From the book Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, “Like all prophets and apostles, the Prophet Joseph Smith understood the deep meaning of John’s request when he said, ‘After all that has been said, [our] greatest and most important duty is to preach the Gospel.’”

    I’ll ask again the question; do you consider your membership to this church as being spiritually and eternally saved?  You have been saved by Christ.  Then save others.  If you saw someone on the roadside bruised and bleeding, would you help them?  And yet we’re surrounded by masses of people missing what we have.  They’re not physically bruised and bleeding. Worse, they’re spiritually bruised and bleeding.  Reach out, share your faith, love, serve, share a Book of Mormon, have a real conversation, invite to church, invite to an activity.  Many people don’t want to be saved because they don’t know they’re drowning.  That’s fine.  You still cast out a life jacket.  The world is lonely, the world is sad, the world is divisive, the world is angry, the world is hurt.  And we have Jesus Christ in our lives.  To whom much is given much is expected.  And we, us, you, here in this room, you have been given as much or more than most individuals in all of human history.  Think about that for a moment.  Billions and billions of God’s children and you live now, in Arizona, in the United States, in a free country, with the saving ordinances of Jesus Christ in your life. You live with a knowledge of God as your father, you live in the dispensation of all times, the fullness, You are peaceful, you are happy. Many of us are prosperous spiritually as well as physically.  And more important than all the physical benefits of our existence – you know where you come from, why you’re here, and where you’re going.  To whom much is given.  Has anyone ever been so blessed as us in this room?

    When we feel how truly blessed we are, when this gospel and the love of Jesus Christ touches your heart, what do you do next?  You share it.

    Don’t be discouraged by the world we live in today.  Even Christ was rejected by many.  Many are called and few are chosen could also apply to the masses that don’t want to come unto Christ.  It is still our sacred duty and loving responsibility to share it.

    I hope that we can strengthen our faith in Christ through righteous habits.  Make it a conscious decision.  Guard our thoughts.  Study with purpose.  Feel the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Repent daily.  These have helped me.  I hope we all can find our own ways to show more faith in Jesus Christ.  And when we do, and our faith is strengthened, strengthen others.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

    Mosiah 3:19 Talk
    January 9, 2022
    Good morning brothers and sisters.
    I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

    The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

    For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

    “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

    When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

    Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
    Conqueror”:
    “Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

    Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

    This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
    conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
    criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
    creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

    Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

    “[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

    “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
    Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

    “As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

    Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

    HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

    We can actively seek this positive change…

    In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

    “Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
    ‘Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
    . . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

    Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

    Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

    Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

    Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

    When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

    This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

    However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

    However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

    I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

    I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • Skull Poking: A Metaphor for Life

    Skull Poking: A Metaphor for Life

    I currently have an open wound on the back of my head from the accident.  I haven’t seen it.  I could look at pictures.  I don’t want to.

    After I had the staples removed, which wasn’t close to as painful as my imagination anticipated, I had to start a daily routine of tending to the wound 3 times a day.

    Here is the routine:

    My wonderful wife (3 times a day!) cleans my wound with a Q-tip. 

    She then applies acetic acid to a little pad and “packs” (I hate that word as much as you) it into the open hole in my head.  A little additional information you didn’t need, you can see a litttttle bit of my skull.

    She then applies a gauze pad.

    She then wraps it with a bandage.

    When it’s time, I unwrap the bandage from around my head and remove the gauze pad which always has some amount of puss and blood on it.

    I put my head under water and soak the packed pad which makes it much easier to pull from my head.

    Once removed (always thoroughly soaked in puss and blood) I soak my open scalp under water.  Sometimes I’ll use baby shampoo to clean it by patting with my palms.

    I dry my hair and let the wound air dry.

    Then Beth starts over at step one.  Rinse and repeat.

    Here’s where the metaphor for life comes in.

    At the beginning of this, almost every step made me cringe.  I’ll tell you, appreciate the flesh on your head a little more today.  Because a Q-tip touching what was never meant to be touched, is unsettling.  Having something packed into your head, uncomfortable.  Putting your exposed skull (albeit a tiny portion) under water to be pelted by drops, weird.

    The first couple days of this were not fun.  It wasn’t that it was super painful, it wasn’t.  It wasn’t that it was even that bad.  It was just…unsettling, uncomfortable, weird…

    By the second week it wasn’t that bad at all.

    By the third week I was throwing that head under water and Beth was poking me with Q-tips while I continued to work at my desk.

    Things can be really uncomfortable, scary, and hard at first, but the more you do them, the less uncomfortable they become.  This metaphor applies to everything.  A major one I can think of is public speaking.  Public speaking is unsettling, uncomfortable, downright terrifying (for most.  Don’t want to hear from you if you enjoy public speaking).  But my experience with public speaking is: the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

    This goes for everything.  With time, hard things become easier.

    Even having your skull prodded by a Q-tip, acetic acid, and shower water.

    Who knew?