No Coincidences

Tag: purpose

  • Responsibility to Love

    Responsibility to Love

    I’ve written on this topic before. What to do With All the Love. Love Has Afforded Me Much. A slightly new thought came to me on this topic.

    There is a great responsibility for firstborns to love.

    Think about it.

    I was thinking about Sage. For her whole existence up to a point she will have shared, to some extent, the love and affection she receives with Ivy. Does this mean Sage is loved any less? No, absolutely not. She is endlessly loved.

    That said, she has shared her love with Ivy.

    It made me think, yet again, of all the singular love poured out on Ivy in her first 21 months.

    It made me reflect on the love I received in the 45 months before Adie joined our family.

    How did that shape me?

    Given the measure of love and affection I received from two loving parents, singularly focused attention and love for 45 months, does that increase my responsibility to love?

    Given this theory, I think firstborns have a higher responsibility to love. With great power comes great responsibility. There is no greater power in the world than love.

    Maybe this is why the firstborn gets the birthright (wink face).

    Thos of us who have experienced love, been given love, have felt love, it’s important for us to share that. There are so many in the world that don’t grow up in a loving household. If you’re reading this and you did grow up in a loving household, you’ve been given an advantage in life worth more than a huge inheritance. You’ve been given a huge leg up in this life if you were born into a loving home.

    Share it.

    Don’t waste the gift you’ve been given.

    Now, here’s some food for thought to counter my “firstborn love theory” (Trademark pending) –

    Other ideas to consider, did my love actually expand with the arrival of Adie (my little sister) because I had experienced love and now I got to share it with my little sister? Did my first learning experience of giving love outside of my parents who already loved me so much grow my capacity to love even more? Did getting to love somebody who couldn’t do anything for me help my capacity to love, learning at a young age to love somebody without getting anything in return? Does that add to my responsibility as the firstborn?

    Or is Adie’s capacity to love greater than mine because she was born into loving a 3 person family, unlike myself? Does that make Easton’s (youngest of 6) capacity to love 3x mine since he was born into a family 3 times bigger than the one I was born into? How does this balance with my personal capacity to love expanding every time a new baby joined our family?

    Love.

    We need to think about it more.

    Which leads to the ultimate, and powerful question: is love in limited supply?

    We all have an infinite capacity to love. I don’t believe there is any limit on how we can love. I think God is our example in this. Think about how much He loves you. Whether you come from a loving household or not, whether you’re the firstborn of 10, an only child, an orphan, the youngest of 2, and all examples in between, you have a divine capacity to love. Divine. Your Father is God. He loves you. Your capacity to love is infinite. Use it. Share it.

    Epilogue

    The above post was written in May of 2023. I kid you not, as I opened it to review and post in 2026, Beth sent me a video with a text attached.

    The text read: “Wren kept asking, “Where Ivy?” Then Ivy came down and Wren waved and said, “Good morning Ivy!” And gave her a hug. But Ivy was still waking up a bit so when she sat down to eat, Wren came over, gave her another gentle hug, and started gently rubbing Ivy’s back. It’s like Wren is teaching them how to love.”

    I replied, “Reminding them.”

    And Beth said, “Blog post!”

    She knows me too well. But I didn’t realize I was about to post this!

    We’ve been struggling a little with Ivy and Sage being gentle and loving with Wren as they get older. They are the older sisters, a lot more rambunctious and a lot more physical. Sometimes Wren messes up their “set ups” (toys they’ve setup). Wren wants to be with them and play with them but she’s very destructive. They struggle sharing with Wren. Wren is still little. So they’ve had a hard time.

    But I know that Ivy was sent here to be an example as the oldest sister. I know that Sage was sent here to be a peacekeeping, independent, strong second daughter to keep everyone connected. Maybe Wren was sent to remind us all how to love. Maybe she’s meant to teach us to be a little more patient with one another.

    EternalPerspective.

  • Walking into Darkness

    Walking into Darkness

    As we start a new year, I was pondering on a simple but powerful concept.

    Have you ever noticed that if you walk into darkness, with light at your back, you can’t see anything?

    On the other hand, if you walk into light, the room is clear.

    What an analogy for life.

    I was trying to do this one time back in our condo. I was walking into darkness, with the light from the open blinds on the balcony at my back. It was a perilous journey. I was risking a turned ankle at every step. Those with toddlers will understand. Of course, I couldn’t just turn on the lights, that’s for wimps and quitters.

    On my way back through the condo, heading toward the light from the balcony, I could see clearly where I was going. It was like night and day (pun intended).

    This made me reflect on how much of my life I spent walking into darkness. I spent so much time not knowing where I was headed. I had stuck my head into the ground akin to an ostrich and didn’t want to think about why I’m here and where I was going. It was a long journey to turn myself around, re-orient my journey, and start walking toward light.

    Now I feel like my life is better illuminated. I have a feel for where I’m headed, I can see the pathway. Those days of walking into darkness, unsure and afraid of every step are (slightly) behind me. There are always moments of hesitation and wonder about what’s next. But when you choose to make God a part of your life, in my experience, every step starts to feel like a step towards light.

    As 2026 starts, if you feel lost, confused, uncertain, afraid, or all the negative emotions this life bombards us with, I invite you to turn to God and walk in the light. It is one of the only defenses we have in this life full of thistles.

  • Purpose and What Did You Eat Last Week

    Purpose and What Did You Eat Last Week

    I recently did a meditation that I couldn’t get myself into, I disagreed so much with the premise. I can usually go with the flow with any guided meditation, at least the ones I’ve done. Often the guided meditations lead to spiritual thoughts. This meditation led to a spiritual thought, but not in the normal way.

    The voice leading the meditation stated, basically, that we are on this big rock floating through space. None of us know why we’re here or what the true purpose of all this is. The meditation continued advising to set that aside for a moment and focus on your breathing, etc.

    I stopped right there. In my mind I thought, but I do know why I’m here, I do know the purpose of all this. I couldn’t get behind the premise. It’s a common theme of my writing. Where we come from, why we’re here, where we’re going. It hit me that 99% of people listening to that meditation probably don’t bat an eye at that statement. Most people probably gloss right over it like, “Yeah, I don’t know what the meaning of all this is.” That makes me sad.

    I just started a new book that talks about the temporal nature of this life and how silly it is to one, not believe in the things we can’t see, and two, put so much stock into the things we can see, even though they’re so temporary.

    The book asked what I ate 2 weeks ago. I had no idea. It made an interesting point. Food and water are the most critical thing to our survival. We can’t survive without them. Yet, what did you eat 2 weeks ago? You don’t even remember. What about the car that you love then 8 years later is a clunker. Or the house you cherish but inevitably becomes dirty, beat up, and cluttered with other stuff that is inconsequential. The book talked about how much stock we put into these things.

    How many of us consider why we’re here or where we’re going? How many in the world live in complete ignorance, not wanting to consider these great questions? It amazes me.

    We can’t see or describe heartache, fear, doubt, love, the wind, and yet they exist. Faith exists. Our soul exists. Eternity exists. God exists. These are the things that matter. I wish our society could spend a little less time with a Netflix special they won’t remember a year from now and consider more the purpose of this life. 

    The purpose of this life is God’s plan to make us stronger, better, and more like Him. We knew God before we came here. We will remember Him when we leave here. This life is so important. Not for food, or water, or cars, or homes, or Netflix, but for the faith we build, the experiences we go through, and the families and relationships we cultivate. I wish this is something we could all remember more.

  • Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Today I was driving into work and a thought occurred to me.

    This wasn’t the first time this thought has come to me, but seldom has it hit me so clearly and with such impact.

    The thought was this:

    “I’m driving down the freeway and I’m surrounded by people also on the freeway. Most of us on our way to work. A seemingly innumerable number of us. In Phoenix, this is not too far from the truth. A million of us on our way to work. What is the point of all this? I know the point of all this. So few of these people around me know why they’re here or what they’re doing.”

    This is a common theme I write about. The importance of knowing where we come from, why we’re here, and where we’re going. The three ultimate questions that so few seem to care about nowadays.

    A world of billions and how many know their purpose?

    I know my purpose. I know what’s more important than anything. Two things:

    1. My family.
    2. Assisting, however I can, in the building of God’s Kingdom, or sharing the great and important truths with as many people as I can, the truths that no one seems to seek anymore.

    Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that second item. Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that first item.

    I feel better about the first item every time I see Ivy, Sage, or Beth smile.

    Sometimes I feel like no one around me cares about eternity and that makes item two difficult.

    But we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, and loving our families (item one) no matter how hard it gets.

    And we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, loving, and sharing with our eternal family (item two) no matter how much apathy seems to have set in.

    This is eternity.

  • Wisdom of Tolkien

    Wisdom of Tolkien

    ****Disclaimer before reading this post. Of course I have the greatest family and Beth. The world wasn’t completely lonely. My world has always been amazing. I thank God daily for that, and don’t know what I did to deserve it. I love my family and I love Beth. I’ve been so blessed. But that didn’t fit into the point of this post. So, I’m putting this disclaimer before writing.

    Tolkien inspires a lot of thoughts in me. His writing is flush with eternal truths.

    I’m reading The Book of Lost Tales Part 1 (I wrote this in 2022, I’m now on book 5).

    This book includes the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien that were never put to print in his lifetime. His son has since edited and published the writings.

    In this book, the tale of the coming of the Eldar, or the elves, is told. The Valar (Gods of Earth) had been on the earth for an untold amount of time. They knew one day the children of Ilúvatar (the one God, their creator) would come one day. That day finally came. This is how it is described in the book:

    “Then shouted all the people of Valinor: “I-Eldar tulier – the Eldar have come” – and it was not until that hour that the Gods knew that their joy had contained a flaw, or that they had waited in hunger for its completion, but now they knew that the world had been an empty place beset with loneliness having no children for her own.”

    That is precisely how I feel about Ivy and Sage. What was the world before them? It was a lonely place. What did I do before them? Play basketball and video games? What was life?

    It wasn’t until they came that I truly understood what mattered. I’ve written about my world flipping upside down before. That passage from The Book of Lost Tales Part 1 describes it perfectly.

    What was the earth before my children?

    An empty place.