No Coincidences

Tag: Reading

  • Dreams and Temptations

    Dreams and Temptations

    I’ve long been fascinated by dreams. For the last six years I’ve written down every night-time dream I can remember in the morning. They are in multiple notes in my phone and at this point make up tens of thousands of words. Dreams have even turned into some blog posts.

    Through writing down so many of my dreams, I’ve been able to clearly see the themes that repeat themselves.

    What feels like many years ago now, even though it’s only been seven, I cold turkey’d a lot of bad and immoral habits. These things that used to weigh me down mercilessly have stayed consistently in my dreams ever since.

    I was pondering on why this was recently. Why is it that nearly, I don’t know, 15-20% of my dreams, if I had to guess, have the theme of drinking alcohol and regretting it in them?

    As with all things, I believe there are no coincidences with God. God wouldn’t give us this powerful memory/experience in our minds at night if there wasn’t some purpose. Of course, I believe that God can speak to us in dreams. I believe He has before to me. For me personally, through this introspective exercise, I came to appreciate the powerful effect dreams have had on me.

    In the book The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, I read,

    “What is temptation?… It is the energy through which your soul is given the gracious opportunity to have a dry run at a life lesson, at a situation that, if you can see clearly, can be removed and healed within the confines of your private world of energy and not spill into a larger energy field of other souls. Temptation is a dress rehearsal for a karmic experience of negativity.

    “The entire dynamic of temptation is the compassionate way of allowing you to see your potential pitfalls, and cleanse yourself before you can affect the lives of others… As you respond to the decoy, you cleanse yourself by becoming aware and not having to actually live through the experience.”

    This perfectly describes how I’ve come to feel about my dreams. They are dry runs.

    The most common temptation theme in my dreams is drinking alcohol. There are many dreams I have of either trying to avoid drinking alcohol or actually giving in. I haven’t experienced a hangover in a long time. After one of these dreams, while I don’t feel the ill physical effects I would if I actually drank, I do feel the guilt of having given into temptation.

    When I wake up from one of these dreams, I can feel how I’d feel if I gave in. I wake up feeling how disappointed in myself I am. I wake up thinking, “Seven years, seven years of not touching it and now I’m basically starting over.” I wake up feeling that real feeling of guilt. There is power in this, I’ve learned. I haven’t come head on with this temptation in years. Meaning, I haven’t seriously considered drinking alcohol in a long, long time. I haven’t been in a bar, no one has offered me a drink. But, because of these dreams, I can know how I would feel if I did give in, and I can know I don’t want to feel that. I can remember, because of these dreams, that a night of drinking would not be worth the disappointment in the morning. And that’s to say nothing of the hangover!

    This is not the only temptation I face in dreams. There are others. Because of these dreams, I can know with surety there are things I don’t want to do. If there is any doubt or weak part of my soul that considers doing something terrible, I have the dreams to remind me how terrible some of those actions are and the guilt I don’t want to feel.

    Pretty amazing, really. What a protection these dreams have become to me. As Gary Zukav said in his book, “How exquisite is temptation.”

    I wonder if others have had this sort of experience with their dreams? I wonder if this is unique to me. Maybe it’s some divine protection God has given me. If that’s the case, I’m so grateful for this protection.

  • A Bride Goes West

    A Bride Goes West

    What’s the worst thing you could do to hurt yourself? I think one of the answers might be to feel sorry for yourself.

    I read this in an autobiography from a woman who left a comfortable East Coast lifestyle to become a frontierswoman. This meant no running water, no clean floors, no society or people within any reasonable distance, and many other missing conveniences we take for granted.

    She stated in her book that the worst thing she could possibly do through all her many (and there were many) difficulties was to start to feel sorry for herself. She said she thought that was one of the worst things a person could do.

    I thought about that, and I think I agree. Once you start to feel sorry for yourself it’s completely downhill from there. A mole hole becomes a mountain. Inconveniences become distressing moments. The cliché that is all too true: life is what you make of it.

    This woman who lived such a hard life came from a great position of power to speak on feeling sorry for oneself. Of all the people I’ve read about, she’s near the top of the list of someone that had good reason to complain. And yet, her life would have likely been much more difficult had she succumbed to her own self-pity.

    These are my other favorite quotes from this book:

    “I have always thought that fear is our greatest sin. It shows such a lack of faith.”

    “I was worn out, and once more took to feeling sorry for myself…  I stuck to my rule of not whining.”

    “I have often noticed that it is the little things that trouble a woman, while only the big ones trouble a man.”

    “When you have lived without money as much as I had, it loses a great deal of its power to hurt you.”

    “I led a hard life. Perhaps-but I don’t think an easy one is ever half so full.”

  • A Miracle that Changed the World

    A Miracle that Changed the World

    These are thoughts from a book I read recently called A Miracle that Changed the World. It was an awesome book that laid out just how spectacular the establishing of America was. This was a section of the book I had some thoughts on. I’m quoting sections of the book with my thoughts.

    p. 52:

    “The Tide of Reform

    “Many Americas became extremely self-conscious about their lack of “public virtue” because of non-involvement in the affairs of government. They began to acknowledge their obsession with self-interest, the neglect of public affairs, and their disdain for the needs of the community as a whole. Gradually, a spirit of “sacrifice and reform” became manifest in all thirteen colonies.”

    This occurred in America in the couple of years leading up to the Declaration of Independence being signed. Is it any coincidence that a spirit of sacrifice, public virtue, and selflessness preceded the greatest revolution in the history of the world and the rise of the greatest nation ever to exist on earth? God needed a self-sacrificing and humble people to inherit the new world. When they exhibited these qualities, they became His chosen people to enact this major event. This led to a revolution and the freedom from tyranny that allowed the explosion of religious freedom that God planned, that couldn’t have happened under the rule of a monarchy. It started with sacrifice, service, and humility.

    “In the eyes of the Whigs, the two or three years before the Declaration of Independence always appears to be the great period of the Revolution, the time of greatest denial and cohesion, when men ceased to extort and abuse one another, when families and communities seemed peculiarly united, when the courts were wonderfully free of that constant bickering over land and credit that had dominated their colonial life.”

    Two things especially stand out to me from that statement –

    1. “families and communities seemed peculiarly united.”
      • From the Family Proclamation: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”
      • As the fundamental unit of society, strong families make for strong society. No wonder Satan has so adamantly attacked the family. Look at divorce rates, look at what has happened to the American family. The dismantling of families is the the beginning of the downfall of a great society, and we’re seeing it happen right before our eyes.
    2. “the courts were wonderfully free of that constant bickering…”
      • Could the 13 original colonies have broken from the greatest world power at that time, colonies v. Greatest World Power, if they were busy bickering amongst themselves? It took unity for the freedom of America to be established.
      • D&C 38:27: “be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.”

    This is what we need – Americans to become self-conscious about how selfish we’ve become. This is the eternal principle of unity. America needed to be united under one cause and one heart before they could break free from tyranny. God wants us to be one. What has happened to that unity?

    I read in a Doctrine and Covenants commentary how early church members, going back to the very earliest days of the church, were advised to avoid courts. It was said that if a dispute couldn’t be resolved by arbitration, then there was discord and discontent too strong amongst the parties, and they needed to evaluate what they truly valued. One early church leader, Oliver Cowdery, was chastised for becoming too involved in the courts, and it ultimately began to descent towards his excommunication.

    “When Oliver moved to Missouri in 1837, he sought to alleviate personal debts by starting a legal career. Witnesses testified that Oliver had urged people to sue others in court who “fired guns in town,” who broke “the Sabbath day,” he “frequently solicited for business in collecting debts,” and “urge[d] on lawsuits with others.””

    There can’t be unity where there is constant bickering and lawsuits. Those needed to be removed from public standards before the 13 colonies could think to stand up against Britain.

    The book continues:

    “How the Moral Reform Accelerated the Revolution

    “Many Americans became so impressed with the improvement in the quality of life as a result of the reform movement that they were afraid they might lose it if they did not hurriedly separate from the corrupting influence of British manners. They attributed this corruption to the monarchal aristocracy of England. Even Americans such as John Jay, Robert Morris, and Robert Livingston were beginning to see that the people were exhibiting a potential capacity for virtue and morality which would guarantee the success of a free, self-governing society. Therefore, it became popular to express the sentiment that the sooner they became independent the better” (emphasis added).

    The underlined portion is the part that stood out to me. Imagine if society today could be said to have such a high standard of virtue and morality. This is what guaranteed the success of the United States: A virtuous and morally upright people. This is why they could self-govern themselves, because they self-governed in righteousness. Imagine describing our society like that today – excess of virtue and morality.

    The definition of virtue is “behavior showing high moral standards.”

    The definition of morality is “principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior.”

    We couldn’t be farther from such a standard. We’ve gone so far off the path that we have reversed morality so that right is wrong and wrong is right. We have molded morality to be what we want it to be. The early Americans who established this nation were moral and upright in all their dealings, which allowed them the honor of being the people to establish the most free, most righteous, and most powerful nation in history. Freedom and righteousness are power.

    Another motivating factor for the colonies wanting freedom from England was to avoid developing all the negative attributes of the British.

    “British influence was already taking its toll. One alarmed American wrote, “Elegance, luxury and effeminacy begin to be established.” David Ramsay declared that if Americans had not revolted “our frugality, industry, and simplicity of manners, would have been lost in an imitation of British extravagance, idleness and false refinements” (emphasis added).

    America has gotten closer to extravagance, idleness, and false refinements than frugality (look at our national debt), industry (look at our bail outs), and simplicity (look at social media).

    It’s time for unity in America. It’s time for virtue and morality. It’s time to protect and re-establish the importance of the family. It’s time to return to frugality, industry, and simplicity. If America can return to these values, maybe it stands a chance to stay a chosen nation and be protected from the tribulations that are to come.

  • The Millionaire Mind

    The Millionaire Mind

    I mentioned in another post the repetitive nature of the book The Millionaire Mind by Thomas J. Stanley. It’s a world-famous, best-selling book written in 2000. Being written 22 years ago makes it slightly outdated (might be the billionaire mind now), yet it is clearly still relevant today. The repetition is undoubtedly intentional as that’s the way humans learn. What were the repeated points made over and over, then? What does this book clearly think are the most important aspects of becoming a millionaire or having a “millionaire mind”?

    Before I give the list of things I found repeated in the book, it’s important to point out a distinction made in the book between types of millionaires. In the study of millionaires, the author, Dr. Stanley, was looking for “balance sheet millionaires.” He wanted people with high asset, low debt net worths. For obvious reasons this book was NOT a study of individuals who appear to be living a millionaire lifestyle when in reality they were in huge amounts of debt.

    Here are the things I found myself highlighting over and over from that book:

    1. Marriage is conducive to becoming a millionaire, or financially independent. This is for various reasons including but not limited to:
      • Having a support system and partner
      • Combining skills and talents (2 is better than 1)
      • Stability
    2. Generally, millionaires are cautious with how they spend their money. “Cheap” is not a fair characterization, but frugal might be. They are cautious with their money and particular about how they spend it.
      • The book used the example often that millionaires never bought a car over $41,000 or paid more than $38 for a haircut.
    3. Often, millionaires started their own business. It’s difficult to become a millionaire when you’re being paid by someone else.

    I find point 3 very interesting. There’s a guy on YouTube that has gotten popular making one type of video. In these videos he walks around asking people in expensive cars, “what do you do?” Common answers heard are attorney, doctor, and real estate. But the overwhelming majority of the answers are some form of “I started my own company x.”

    I think about this often. This was the point stressed over and over, more than any other point made in this book. The dead horse was beaten relentlessly. If you want to get “rich,” start your own business. If you don’t know this, I’m telling you now, so now you know. But I think most of us know this. And yet, so few of us start our own business. Why is that?

    Like I said, I think about this a lot. I think there are various reasons more people don’t venture out and start their own thing. They can be boiled down to:

    1. Fear
    2. Doubt in oneself
    3. Laziness
    4. Ignorance

    That’s it. I think those are the four things that keep someone from starting their own business. Working for someone else is stable and comfortable, going out on your own is scary (fear). When it’s up to you and you alone to succeed, the excuses go out the door. Relying on yourself for your paycheck requires a lot of confidence in oneself (doubt in oneself). Laziness is probably the greatest detriment to progress in life (laziness). Finally, ignorance in not knowing where to start, or thinking people who start businesses just knew something they didn’t or had some secret (ignorance). Often this is an accepted ignorance. The thinking that others have a secret sauce of success. This ignorance is tied to laziness more than anything.

    There is *usually no secret sauce. Usually someone who starts their business had less fear, less doubt in themselves, were the opposite of lazy, and did the research and work. Simple as that. I’m trying to work myself towards a financial freedom goal. It’s slow work and I find myself running into these four hurdles constantly:  fear, doubt, laziness, ignorance.

    All these things can be defeated, and I think we would benefit ourselves greatly to face these challenges head on and step out of our comfort zones. Of course, that’s easier said than done.

    So what’s my conclusion? Why am I writing this post if I myself can’t step out of my fear, doubt, laziness, and ignorance? I don’t know yet. But maybe one day I’ll look back on this post and think, “well I was always thinking about it, and eventually I got there.” That’s the hope.

  • Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    Talk – How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?

    I recently shared Beth’s amazing talk given on the natural man being an enemy to God. That can be read by clicking HERE.

    The following week I was asked to give a talk on the topic, “how can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?” I thought I’d share that as well. My written talk was more of an outline, but here were my notes.

    Introduction

    Good morning!

    If you were here last week then you saw my wife already introduce us when she spoke.  For those that weren’t here, I am Brayden Quackenbush.  My wife goes by Beth, and we have a 1-year-old daughter named Ivy.

    Brother Patterson commented after Beth spoke last week, quote “Clearly you, like me, have married up.”  So of course, the Bishopric has asked me to speak today, more likely for you to see that principle of marrying up in action for yourself as opposed to any spiritual enlightenment I am meant to impart.  I hope along with demonstrating the marrying up principle, my talk can also provide some uplifting spiritual content for you today.

    Topic – faith

    The topic I was asked to speak on today is, “How can I show faith in Jesus Christ more in my daily life?”

    Let’s start with the what.  What is faith?

    Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

    Elder Dallin H. Oaks said QUOTE: “‘Faith without works is dead.’ But ‘Works without faith is even deader.’”

    How do we increase our faith?

    Read the scriptures every day.  Pray every day.  Go to church each week.  Serve others.  Go to the temple.

    For those of you that have zoned out – Okay, let’s take a quick pause.  I know I’ve lost most of you.  You’re thinking, great, he started his talk with 5 things I’ve heard 1 MILLION times.  And then you started zoning out.  Come back to me for a second.  I’ll say it again for those who REALLY zoned out.  Come back to me.

    I could go on and on with quotes about what faith is and give ideas you’ve heard over and over and over about how to increase your faith and be exemplary latter-day saints.  In my time back at church, I’ve learned that personal experiences are powerful.  Repetition is good.  There’s a reason we hear the same things over and over.  Read scriptures, pray daily, go to church, attend the temple.  Of course, these things are good and of course these things are important.

    How?

    But HOW do we really show more faith in Jesus Christ in our daily lives.  – This is an interesting question – how?  How is so independent of anyone else’s how. How isn’t a hypothetical.  It’s an action. Faith is a principle of action.  For that reason, I can’t tell YOU how to live with more faith in Jesus Christ.  What I can do is tell you what has helped me.

    It always benefits me to hear of others’ habits, stories, experiences and how they strengthened their faith.  I hope some of my thoughts can help someone here today.

    A little background about me – I spent 7 years of my life, from age 18-25 with zero church activity.  I was about as far from the church as I could be.

    It was wholesome books brought me back. Books that started making me ask the questions – why am I here?  Where am I going?

    The books that most impacted my journey back to church, and influenced my faith in Jesus Christ were Visions of Glory by John Pontius, Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage, and of course, the Book of Mormon.

    To increase our faith, we must know in whom our faith resides.  That is Jesus Christ.  This is the first how I suggest, that helped me.  President Russell M. Nelson has repeatedly implored us to study the life of Jesus Christ, understand His ministry, understand His life, understand Him.  With more of an understanding of Him, more love for Him will naturally develop, and it will become easier to follow Him and act in faith.

    What other how’s have helped me in my daily life?

    I’ve mentioned I want to focus on faith being a principle of action.  If you have faith in Christ, it should move you towards action.

    For me, after knowing who my faith resides in, it’s helped to be conscious of what I want to accomplish.  Showing more faith in Christ daily needs to be a conscious goal.

    1. Daily affirmations
      • The cartoonist behind Dilbert, his name is Scott Adams, he talks about a habit he developed in his early 20s.  What he did was, every single day, he wrote 15 times a statement over and over.  For example, “I Scott Adams will become a famous cartoonist.”  This was before he’d ever written a comic.  Most of you have heard of Dilbert.  His second affirmation was “I Scott Adams will write a bestselling book.”  He also accomplished this goal.
      • Write what you want to accomplish in your relationship with Jesus Christ, your family, or your greatest desire.  The act of writing it each day will make it a focus in your life.
      • Examples could be:  I will love others.  I will be a loving father/mother.  I will increase my faith in Jesus Christ.  I will bring others unto Jesus Christ.  I will return to live with my Heavenly Father.
      • This makes this a focus every single day.  How did Scott Adams become a famous cartoonist?  Faith.  Now he wouldn’t say it, but that’s what he did.  He put something out there, he focused on it every single day for years and he made it a reality. 
      • Make your faith a focus in your life.
    2. This leads to another how – focus on your thoughts. 
      • A book I read recently stated that rock is sculpted one chip at a time.  Concrete is poured then molded.  People are formed one thought at a time.
      • I hope the daily affirmations example shows the power in our thoughts.
      • Guard every thought.  Any time a judgmental or unkind thought enters your mind, remove it.  Remove impatience.  Remove anger.  It is possible.  Our thoughts are ours to control.  Once you control the negative thoughts, move to loving thoughts.  Keeping your thoughts focused on God and Jesus Christ as much as possible will help.  
      • Matthew 22:37-39 “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.”
    3. The third thing that has helped me is to study the scriptures with a purpose.
      • I have a close friend who is not a member of this church.  He has read the Book of Mormon multiple times and doesn’t believe it’s divinely inspired.  He believes it was written by a man and not translated by a prophet of God.  I’ve read the Book of Mormon every day for 4 years alongside an online commentary noting every time I find something from Hugh Nibley or some other LDS scholar that can’t be explained by an uneducated farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  The note in my phone now includes well over 100 notes that can’t be explained by an ignorant farm boy writing the Book of Mormon.  Each day I’m excited to find another unexplainable feature of the Book of Mormon.  That strategy has worked for me.  But I invite you to think about something that can make you interested and excited to read a little scripture each day.  By the way, if you’re interested in seeing my list of “proofs” I would love to share them.  It strengthens my testimony of this work and of the love Jesus Christ has for us in providing these “proofs” of the divine nature of the Book of Mormon to those who seek them.
    4. A fourth, and to me personally, the most important thing that has helped me with my faith is to feel the atonement of Jesus Christ.
      • Can you feel your love and appreciation for Christ and His gospel?  Really feel it, inside of you.  Feel the emotion of it.  For some, your conversion moment may be so long ago that you haven’t thought about it in a long time.  Remember what it was like to realize this was true.  Think about the comfort it brought you.  Remember the feeling of knowing that Christ died for you, and He allowed you all this.  Family, love, peace, eternity: It’s because of Him.  Close your eyes.  Remember that moment.  Feel that moment.  Do that often.
      • The best time to feel this appreciation for Jesus Christ is during the sacrament, it’s why we partake of the sacrament – to remember Him.
      • You need to feel, truly feel, what Christ has done for you.  I’ve had more of a challenge doing this during the sacrament since my daughter Ivy entered my life.  Sometimes I miss the quiet time of closing my eyes and thinking about what Christ did for me that day 2000 years ago.  But then recently I’ve found an amazing substitute.  During the sacrament I’ve found it extremely beneficial to stare at my daughter.  I think about not only what Christ did for me, but I remember that He gave her to me, He saved her, and He allows her to be mine forever.  If you aren’t brought to the verge of tears every so often when you partake of the sacrament or think about what Christ did for you, you NEED to think about it more.  Focus on it and feel it.
      • We’ll be taking the sacrament in a few minutes.  I invite you to focus on Christ.  Think where you’d be without Him.  Think about what He’s done for you eternally.  Eternal glory, forgiveness, love, peace for ALL eternity. Have you thought about the word eternity?  Forever.  That’s what He’s given you.  Feel it in your heart and thank Him with all your might, mind, and strength.
    5. The fifth important part of my faith has been to repent daily.  There is always something to repent for, no matter how good we think we are, we always fall short, and that’s ok.  Because of Him.

    That concludes my how’s of developing and strengthening faith daily, but I hope you can search out your own.

    Why?

    The last thing I’d like to talk about is the why.  Why do we need to develop more faith?  Why does our faith matter?

    When this work truly touches your heart, what do you do?

    In a book called Faith in the Service of about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the armed forces, a U.S. Air Force Chaplain gave the simple quote: “I am a convert to the gospel, and I am indebted to the missionaries who saved me spiritually.”

    Do you consider your membership of this church being spiritually saved?

    Elder Jeffrey R. Holland when speaking of the Apostle John’s great desire to remain on the earth said:

    “The Apostle John asked the Lord if he, John, might remain on the earth beyond the normal span of life for no other purpose than to bring more souls unto God.  In granting that wish, the Savior said that this was ‘a greater work’ and a nobler ‘desire’ even than that of desiring to come into the presence of the Lord ‘speedily.’”

    From the book Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, “Like all prophets and apostles, the Prophet Joseph Smith understood the deep meaning of John’s request when he said, ‘After all that has been said, [our] greatest and most important duty is to preach the Gospel.’”

    I’ll ask again the question; do you consider your membership to this church as being spiritually and eternally saved?  You have been saved by Christ.  Then save others.  If you saw someone on the roadside bruised and bleeding, would you help them?  And yet we’re surrounded by masses of people missing what we have.  They’re not physically bruised and bleeding. Worse, they’re spiritually bruised and bleeding.  Reach out, share your faith, love, serve, share a Book of Mormon, have a real conversation, invite to church, invite to an activity.  Many people don’t want to be saved because they don’t know they’re drowning.  That’s fine.  You still cast out a life jacket.  The world is lonely, the world is sad, the world is divisive, the world is angry, the world is hurt.  And we have Jesus Christ in our lives.  To whom much is given much is expected.  And we, us, you, here in this room, you have been given as much or more than most individuals in all of human history.  Think about that for a moment.  Billions and billions of God’s children and you live now, in Arizona, in the United States, in a free country, with the saving ordinances of Jesus Christ in your life. You live with a knowledge of God as your father, you live in the dispensation of all times, the fullness, You are peaceful, you are happy. Many of us are prosperous spiritually as well as physically.  And more important than all the physical benefits of our existence – you know where you come from, why you’re here, and where you’re going.  To whom much is given.  Has anyone ever been so blessed as us in this room?

    When we feel how truly blessed we are, when this gospel and the love of Jesus Christ touches your heart, what do you do next?  You share it.

    Don’t be discouraged by the world we live in today.  Even Christ was rejected by many.  Many are called and few are chosen could also apply to the masses that don’t want to come unto Christ.  It is still our sacred duty and loving responsibility to share it.

    I hope that we can strengthen our faith in Christ through righteous habits.  Make it a conscious decision.  Guard our thoughts.  Study with purpose.  Feel the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Repent daily.  These have helped me.  I hope we all can find our own ways to show more faith in Jesus Christ.  And when we do, and our faith is strengthened, strengthen others.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.