“I wanted so badly to have the life I thought I knew we could have. But we were sent here with free will and someone needs to want to change in order to truly change…”
That statement hits hard. To be clear with all reading: I have many similarities to Beth’s story. I also have many similarities to her boyfriend John. You can’t change until you’re ready to change.
For anyone who knows my wife, her conversion story gives some perspective on why she is who she is. We don’t become who we are by happenstance. There are always experiences, moments, profound MOMENTS that shape us. That is why we are here. After reading some of Beth’s story, and if you know her, you can start to see why she is caring, considerate, and loving to those around her. It is partly who she is and partly the experiences of her life that have changed her. I can relate. I used to be a self-absorbed punk. It took a lot of small steps to change who I once was. Her words make me feel what I always know about my wife – she is special.
This is all I could picture as I read of Beth’s dream:
And now this:
God is great.
I am lucky. Beyond lucky. What did I do to deserve so much?
How could I think anything but how lucky I truly am as I read my wife’s testimony? She is strong, and powerful, truly a queen, and we are one.
As I read, I’m struck by the similarities in our stories. The falling away, not knowing if / not wanting to come back, the prayer and feeling of atonement, dreams, pushes, promptings, coincidences.
I’m brought to tears as I read my wife’s story. All God did to bring us together can be read in between those lines.
She wrote this April 20, 2016. I came back to church, where I eventually met her, in March of 2016. Coincidence? Come on.
How will God convince the Jews that Jesus is the Redeemer, the Messiah, the Son of God?
Is the Jewish nation to wait for Christ to return in His glory for them to realize the truth? Will God’s chosen people be left to learn of Christ’s divinity at the same moment that the rest of the world does, when Christ returns?
Will the Jewish nation learn of the divinity of Jesus Christ when they see Him come down in glory, and behold the prints in His hands and feet?
Has God provided a tool for the redemption of His people? A second witness?
I don’t think God would leave only one witness of such an important thing. Especially when it concerns not only all His children, but His chosen people.
So, what is that tool? What is the second witness?
Obviously, it is the Book of Mormon.
Another testament of Jesus Christ.
I had this realization recently and wanted to share. It’s easy to take for granted what the Book of Mormon is. Another testament of Jesus Christ. Another book of scripture. Another witness. More proof that Jesus was and is the Christ. Jesus is the Savior. Jesus is where our redemption lies.
What a blessing to live in a time where we have further evidence. What a blessing that we have additional scripture. I look forward, as the dispensation of the fullness of times continues to expand, for more scripture to be revealed. I look forward to receiving more of God’s word. Will the world reject future scripture just as they’ve rejected the Book of Mormon? Surely God isn’t done with us. Surely, He still speaks to us.
The story of the Prodigal Son is well known. For those who have not read it before or haven’t read it recently it can be found in Luke 15:11-32.
The story of the Prodigal Son has always hit close to home for me. Obviously, it’s easy for me to relate to the younger son. You should read Luke chapter 15 above but a quick summary: there were two sons. They will be referred to as the elder/older son and the younger son as I write. The two sons were given their inheritances. The younger son left his home and went to a faraway city. There he squandered his inheritance on “riotous living.” When he hit the lowest of lows, the younger son returned home to beg his father to allow him to be a servant. The father, instead of showing anger, welcomed his son home, killed the fatted calf, put a robe on his son, gave him a ring, put shoes on his feet, and threw a huge party in celebration of his return.
The older son, upon hearing of his brother’s return and the subsequent party, was angry.
This story is often told in such a way that the primary lesson is about the Prodigal Son and his father’s reaction to his return. The story is called “the prodigal son” after all. That lesson being that no matter how we stray, how far gone are, and how many mistakes we make our Heavenly Father (the father in the story) will always welcome us back. In fact, Heavenly Father rejoices at our repentance:
“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”
All Prodigal Sons like myself rejoice at this story.
I once heard a different perspective on this story, and I’d like to share it. There is a great lesson to be learned in the story of the Prodigal Son by looking at a secondary character: the older brother.
A great question to ask yourself before reading any of Christ’s parables is “who was He speaking to?” Another good question is “What was He trying to teach?” If you look at the parable from the perspective of the Prodigal Son, you can say Christ was teaching those who have sinned that they can always repent and return to the light of their Heavenly Father’s love.
Who was Christ speaking to when he gave this parable? He was speaking to those looking for the message of God. He was speaking to the listeners. These were the ones looking for the message of God. When giving this parable Christ was speaking to the saints.
Consider what can be learned from the older brother. The older brother never left. The older brother never sinned. The older brother respected and worked for his father. Many say, and I always thought, he was justified in his reaction. His exact words in verses 29 and 30:
“And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid (fatted calf), that I might make merry with my friends:
But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.”
This appears to be a natural reaction. He had always been there. He had always done right. Only for his corrupt brother to return and receive honor.
Why did the older son stay and work hard for his father? Why did he keep his commandments? Was he simply looking forward to the inheritance he was to receive?
Why do you serve God and keep his commandments? Are you looking forward to your mansion? Do you serve God so you can inherit His glory? Are you serving Him for YOUR benefit?
We should serve God because we love God. We should serve God because we love those around us. Our service to God shouldn’t be for the blessings and honors He can give us. Our hearts should serve for love and not for our inheritances.
Jesus didn’t tell this story only to get sinners to repent. He also told this story to get the saints to repent. The Prodigal Son went out to experience life and disregarded his father’s possessions. The older son on the other hand stuck around, but he was working to please his father. He looked at himself as moral and worthy. He was after his father’s possessions. That’s what he concerned himself with. The elder son was keeping score. He was trying to earn his father’s love and inheritance.
Sometimes we are like the Prodigal Son: sinning and needing to return home. Sometimes we are like the older brother: serving for the glory of the world.
Often we are like the older son in our envy and jealousy. When someone returns to the fold do we judge them for their past? Or, like the father in the parable and our Heavenly Father, do we rejoice at someone’s return?
Elder Holland in his talk, The Other Prodigal, said:
“I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us-insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our profession or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes…made…white in the blood of the Lamb.” May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer.”
Let us not compare our blessings to the blessings of others, what we have to the possessions of others. Let us support and help each other to all return to our Heavenly Father. Jealousy is of Satan. We should never look down on somebody who made mistakes and is trying to return to God, because then we are the sinner. We can learn from every character in Christ’s great parable. Be like the Prodigal Son and repent, humble ourselves, and return home. Be like the elder son and don’t envy but welcome our wayward brothers and sisters back home with joy and love. And be like the father, loving all those around us, embracing the sinner and the saint alike. I believe this is God’s hope for us and what Christ was teaching us through this story.
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Here is a link to Jeffery R. Holland’s talk, The Other Prodigal:
I was once asked a question I surprisingly had never truly dived into. What was different about the first time I met with the bishop when coming back to church? Why did I come back?
I’ve written about some of the coincidences leading to me getting to the Bishop’s office and ultimately coming back to church. But how did I stay? Coming back once, for a fleeting moment of revival, that’s easy. What really brought me back?
I wrote in The Inspiration about cancelling that first appointment with the bishop. That appointment eventually got rescheduled.
I remember walking into Bishop Thurston’s office. It was a small room, like most bishop’s offices. I believe there was a picture of the First Presidency, and Christ. At other points in my life both pictures might have made me feel uncomfortable, unworthy, judged. Maybe not the picture of Christ. His image has always brought me warmth, if not alongside guilt.
First Presidency February 2008 – January 2018
I remember being so nervous. What were we going to talk about? It had been almost 10 years since I sat in a bishop’s office. Was he going to grill me? Was I going to have to confess all my sins? Was this going to be a moment I looked back on in disgust? Was he going to judge me? Was he going to wonder what brought this messed up individual into his office?
And then he smiled. He shook my hand.
If you’ve seen the smile of Kody Thurston, you know it. If you’ve seen the smile of a loving bishop anywhere in this world, you know this smile. They’re the same anywhere.
He asked me to sit and I believe he offered the prayer. Then we started to talk. I remember not knowing what to do with my hands, I was fiddling with them in my lap. I remember looking down a lot. Every time I looked up he would be looking right at me.
We talked about where I’d been, where I was going, my family. We got to know each other. I don’t remember much about the exact conversation. I do remember what I didn’t feel, judged.
Then he asked the question, I think it was, “Do you have anything you need to talk about?” It was a loaded question, but it didn’t feel like it. I knew if I said no he would move on.
I had come into that room with zero intention of confessing my sins and opening my heart to a stranger. Then this strange thing happens in a room with a person who has been sent and commissioned by Jesus Christ for this very purpose. There’s a feeling in a room when the spirit is there. It’s overwhelming. I didn’t say much. I implied some things; I got some things off my chest. He didn’t ask much. He moved forward. That’s what I remember. Moving forward.
I talk about no coincidences. I know it wasn’t a coincidence that I came back at that time. Maybe it’s an excuse for me taking so long, but I know that God knew who and what I needed when I came back. I firmly believe that God waited until I was ready and put Bishop Thurston in a position to be there when I was ready. I don’t think I would have made it without him.
When I was getting ready to leave, he said he wanted to see me again soon, within the week. He told me to reach out to his assistant and schedule it soon. He told me to tell his assistant to make it happen in the next week no matter what, even if I had to come to his house. That’s another thing I’ll never forget. Come to his house? Why did this stranger want to see me again so soon?
I was once asked what made me come back? Love. Love made me come back. I knew when I left that office, without a shadow of a doubt, that the stranger I just met cared about me so deeply. Is that something I could know? I guess not, I couldn’t know it. He could have been faking it. The reason it has stuck with me, and the reason I came back, is because it wasn’t something I knew, it was something I felt. Like testimony or faith, it was something I couldn’t deny and something I’ll never forget. At the end of that meeting I felt like I’d just met somebody who would do anything in his power, anything he possibly could, to help me. I felt the love of Jesus Christ for me, displayed through this stranger so potently, with such power.
I left that office feeling good. I’ll admit something. I tried to keep it together. I really tried. I drove away from the building. I pulled over within a minute. I cried and I cried. It was like the love I wouldn’t allow myself to feel Christ giving me for so long poured over me with such intensity. I cry today thinking about it.
Those first few weeks coming back were really hard. Really, really hard. When it got to feel like too much to continue on that path, like I couldn’t do it, I thought about the love I felt that day. I thought about that little bishop’s office where I felt something, and my heart changed. I thought about the moment in my car after. I realized I never wanted to be without that love, ever again. That’s what brought me back and kept me coming back.
No Coincidences 