No Coincidences

Tag: Satan

  • Judged

    Heading into my ninth-grade year my family moved.  This resulted in me attending a new ward.  I got a zone variance so I could go to the school I would have gone to if I didn’t move.  I had developed friendships through middle school that I didn’t want to give up.  The funny thing is how quickly those friendships dissolved.  Not because of falling out or anything dramatic, just growing up and growing apart.  I played basketball and that became my friend group.

    My new ward had a few guys my age.  From day one, I don’t think I ever felt like I completely belonged.  They had been friends their whole lives and I was new.  On top of that, we had no similar interests.  For example, I played sports; they played video games, and that sort of thing.

    I’ve looked back and thought a lot about those years.  During my time in that ward I started to drift further and further away.  It got to the point that I just felt unwelcome.  Back then, being a popular basketball player at my high school was more important than anything. I looked down on this group of friends that I never belonged to.  As I got a girlfriend, I started to think I was cool.  As I started to make serious mistakes, I started to think I was better than them because I was experiencing the world and I thought I was more mature.

    Then I started to feel judged by them.  I started to feel ostracized.  I still remember meeting with my bishop at the time.  He was the father of one of those friends in the group.  He was a young, kind man.  He was easy to get along with and a good guy.  I remember telling him I wasn’t worthy to bless the sacrament.  I couldn’t help but feel that he’d told his son, who’d told his friends, and the ostracizing got worse. 

    Over time, that feeling festered.  I didn’t think about it too intensely, but I had this idea that they all knew and they all judged me for it.  In hindsight, that bishop was a great guy and there’s very little chance he ever told his son anything about my transgressions.  He may have told his son to look out for me or to help me. That could have made his son think some things.  I strongly doubt he told him anything about my mistakes.  Yet, over time, this thought became something I assumed was true.

    Now I look back on these days with a much different perspective.  Something I’ve come to realize is that I was never judged by that group of friends.  They tried to welcome me and they tried to make me a member of their group.  Any judgment I felt was my own.

    It’s been a long journey to get to this point.  To come to the realization that I was the one ostracizing myself.  I was the one judging myself.  I didn’t feel welcome because I was making myself unwelcome.  It wasn’t something I realized until I looked back. Many years later I was able to see it, after some growth and real maturing. 

    What helped me come to this realization was reading the story of Cain and Abel.  The scriptures say that Cain loved Satan more than God.  Satan tricked Cain and misled him.  That’s what happened to me those many years ago. Satan tricked and misled me.  He led me to believe these good, kind, friendly individuals didn’t like me.  I allowed my pride to make me think I was better than them.  Satan promoted that thinking.  Satan led me to be mindful of the world and I followed along.

    It was only through the grace of Jesus Christ and His atonement that I was able to come away from that part of my life with an understanding of what was actually happening.  I’m grateful that time didn’t foster even more of a feeling of animosity or negativity towards the church.  I’m glad I was always able to separate perceived wrongs and unkindness of individuals from the love of my Savior.  It’s now these years later, because of my Savior, that I’m able to see I was wrong and judging myself.  I learned to love God more than the world.  The atonement of Jesus Christ allowed me to be forgiven for those mistakes I made and also gave me the perspective to see the humble kindness I was always surrounded by.

    I hope everyone out there can separate the people of Christ’s Church, imperfect as we are, from Christ Himself.  Christ loves us so much.  He knows us.  He judges us only with love.  Members of the Church always fall short.  We’re not there yet.  As long as we keep trying, maybe we’ll one day get there.  But for now, I plead for you to remember Christ is perfect, we’re not.  Make sure you have a testimony of Him first.  Everything else will fall in line.

    If anyone has felt judged or would like to share your experience, I’d love to hear it.  Thanks for reading.

  • Fear

    Fear

    I was reading Jacob chapter 4 in the Book of Mormon recently and something struck me.  One small statement in one verse:

    “Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you; if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you.”

    Let me repeat that…

    “…if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you.”

    How could Jacob, the great prophet and brother of Nephi, be shaken from his firmness in the Spirit?  He says right there at the end – anxiety for you.

    I’d like to expound upon an emotion that can really and truly harm us – fear.

    Jacob is clear with this statement. Fear can shake us from the Spirit, from revelation, from God. 

    Fear is a tool of Satan.  I feel a need to write this right now.  The world is increasingly fearful.  At this moment, amid this virus, fear is rampant.  Satan reigns. The Earth is his kingdom.  He has put fear into the hearts of almost all men and women.

    We see it everywhere.  Just look at the empty shelves in the grocery store.

    What other examples of fear do we have in scripture?

    There was Moses with the Israelites at the Red Sea with Pharaoh bearing down on them.  The Israelites feared and Moses told them, “Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, The Lord shall fight for you.”  The Lord then spoke to Moses, “Speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward.”

    There was Alma the Younger as told in the Book of Mormon. He was gripped by fear and despair.  He thought of that one name, that one being that could save him. Jesus Christ.  Immediately, he was released from his despair.

    Satan immediately attacked Moses after his great vision of eternity.  Moses 1:20 reads,

    “And it came to pass that Moses began to fear exceedingly; and as he began to fear he saw the bitterness of hell.  NEVERTHELESS, calling upon God, he received strength.”

    Finally, there was Joseph Smith in a quiet, peaceful grove.  Satan came for him and he feared.  But Joseph fought and called upon God.  As the light of God and Jesus Christ descended upon Joseph the darkness retreated.

    Notice the pattern here.  Satan has a tendency to attack before great things are to happen.  So, when you feel that fear and it feels like the jaws of hell are opening to overtake you, and you just can’t take anymore because it has become too much to bear, remember the light that will follow.  Once Satan starts his all-out attack we will know the earth-shattering miracles are coming.  Satan is attacking.  Light is coming.

    I feel it’s important for us to keep our hope.  Recently, amidst all this craziness, I had a moment of fear.  My heart was beating and I was worrying about the future.  Then I stopped.  I reminded myself that I have known these sorts of events were coming.  I’ve been blessed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ to know that these events have been foretold for thousands of years.  I’m not saying this is the end. But if it were, what does that mean?  It means Christ is coming back. 

    DO NOT let fear overtake you.  Whatever point in history we’re at, whatever is next, we know we’ll be okay.  We know it will work out the way God intends. What a comfort that is.

    Fear is of Satan, not of God.  If we let fear overtake us, we are letting Satan overtake us.

    Even if a gun is to your head, take comfort.  Because of Christ’s eternal atonement and sacrifice you can always take comfort.  The worst case is you return to your Maker and see your Savior.  In these times, don’t forget the most important thing.  Don’t forget Him. Don’t deny Him.  Christ never denied you.  The WORST thing that could happen is going home to Him.  Is that really the worst thing?  Take comfort, and fight fear.  Don’t let Satan win your heart.  Now, more than ever, we must be strong, faithful, and keep hope.  Keep Christ in your heart.  When that fear intrudes, kneel and pray. 

    You will feel Him and fear will leave.  I promise.

    Fear not, the Lord fights for you.  Move forward with faith.  Look to Christ as your salvation.  Call upon God and you will receive strength.

    ___________

    There’s a comment section below. I’d really like to hear from you. Please leave any thoughts, input, or experiences. If you liked it, please feel free to share. Thanks!