Ivy is the first grandchild on both sides. Ivy has 13 aunts and uncles. She has two sets of grandparents who, while around her, make no qualms about her being the princess of the universe and most important thing to ever come to earth. As I watch her with family, I’m blown away by the amount of love. She is loved so much. Beth and I love her so much. See The Greatest Moment of My Life Every Day for further evidence.
I wonder how much this love positively impacts Ivy’s future. How much does it impact the person she will become?
As I watch her, something occurred to me recently. I was surrounded by this same love growing up. I wasn’t the first grandchild on either side, but I was surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and grandparents that loved and adored me. Love was poured out upon me without measure as a baby. Not only was I loved by those I could see, but I was made to know that God and so many I couldn’t see also loved and cared about me.
While watching Ivy, it occurred to me how lucky and blessed I was to be surrounded by all that love.
How much was I positively impacted by the love I was surrounded by? How much did it shape who I am today?
Not all children are given this great gift.
It was a humbling thought. It’s humbling to consider all that I’ve been given. If I ever get prideful about any good qualities I may have, I can quickly look at all the attention, direction, and love I’ve been given in my life and realize there is nothing to be prideful of. I have been afforded much.
This used to be a daunting scripture. Now it is a great responsibility, and a great blessing.
As I’ve gotten older, I have become more aware of how blessed I was to be raised with the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. That is why I write this blog. That is why I try to talk to friends, family, coworkers, etc. about the Book of Mormon. That’s why I share my testimony of Jesus Christ.
I am grateful for The Family A Proclamation to the World for what is teaches authoritatively and without reservation about the importance of the family unit. My family unit has blessed my life in so many ways. I wish every child could be loved like I was, like I still am, like Ivy is.
God expects me to share the love I’ve been given. Not in a prideful way, but with a humble recognition of how lucky I truly am.
The two great commandments are to love and to love. When you receive love, you must give love. That’s what God asks from us.
My favorite calling I’ve ever had was Ward Mission Leader. For those who don’t know, I basically helped the full-time missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in any way I could. Getting to be around missionaries has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. There’s something powerful about being around young men and women that have sacrificed two years in the prime of their life to serve and share about Jesus Christ.
I’ve always loved stories of faith; stories of miracles that occur when full faith and devotion is given to something important. I want to share one of my favorite stories from my time as Ward Mission Leader.
Missionaries do a lot of amazing things; a lot more than just baptize. Simply teaching others about Christ is important. Serving and loving others is important. Being a representative of Jesus Christ is important.
That said, the reason missionaries devote two full years to a mission is the hope to share with someone the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, have it touch that person’s heart, see that person change their life for Christ, and ultimately that person making the decision to be baptized. Like I said, many amazing things can happen before a baptism. But, the decision to be baptized and the blessings that come after are the ultimate goal.
It was for that reason that I decided to set a high bar on a goal as my time as Ward Mission Leader was coming to an end. I was marrying Beth on 6/1/19. At that point I would change wards, the building and group I’d been going to since returning to church, and no longer have the calling of Ward Mission Leader. My greatest hope was that the missionary efforts we had developed as a ward could be continued after I left.
I set a goal in May for there to be three baptisms in the ward in the month of June. For some perspective, in the previous year our ward had two baptisms.
I started fasting and praying. I announced in a stake missionary correlation meeting that the Scottsdale YSA Ward would have 3 baptisms in June.
“That’s awesome! You have three people on date to be baptized?” I was asked.
My response, “No, we don’t have anybody on date.”
The goal was set nonetheless. I had faith that if the missionaries and myself fasted and prayed our hearts out, and did our part, a miracle would happen.
As the month of May progressed things started happening. There were some individuals the missionaries had been meeting with and teaching about the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. There were two in particular that had been meeting with the missionaries regularly.
As we continued to pray with this singular focus in our hearts, one of those individuals committed to being baptized on 6/29. This was amazing!
There was a second person who wanted to be baptized but there was something getting in the way. It was a frustration of mine at the time because that person was worthy to be baptized but a technical requirement wasn’t met. Her living situation caused a problem. Again, fully worthy, but unable to get baptized until her living situation was changed.
On 5/25 it was time to call in faith reinforcements. Up to that point it had been the missionaries, Beth, a couple others, and myself committing our faith to this goal.
I wrote this as a reminder for myself on 5/25:
“I sent a text to ward missionary committee asking them to join fast for miracle three baptisms in June. It was kind of hard to send the text. There were moments that I wondered if I should send it and if sending it was right, if I was saying the right thing. I ended up being somewhat bold saying, “The missionaries and a few of us have been praying for something very specific: 3 individuals to be baptized into the Scottsdale ward in June. There’s a lot of faith in this as when we started there wasn’t a single person on date to be baptized. There is now one person who plans to be baptized on June 29th. The missionaries and I are going to fast and pray for these three individuals to be led to us and for our ward to act when the opportunity comes. I invite each of you, if you’d like, to join us in fasting and praying for this tomorrow. I know that there are three people out there that need the gospel of Jesus Christ and are ready to be baptized. With faith, God will lead these people to us if we are ready to act, and if it’s His will and His plan. Thanks everybody! Love each of you.” Four minutes after sending the text, the missionaries texted me and said that the individual whose living situation was in the way had that issue resolved and just set their date to be baptized for June 8th. So much joy.
What was hard about sending that text was I wasn’t sure if what I was asking for was right. I always wanted to ask things of God only if it was His will. While I know God’s children coming closer to Him is His greatest joy, I worried that my intentions weren’t perfectly aligned with his. That was the doubt that came before I sent the text. I decided to send the text because I wanted to faith away my doubts. That is why I was bold. That is why the immediate text from the missionaries brought me instantly to the most profound joy, followed by tears.
It was a miracle.
I won’t go into details about how the miracle for this person took place. What I will say is this. It was a major frustration for me for some time that this person couldn’t be baptized despite having a sincere desire to do so, and being worthy to do so. A sequence of events took place that led to there being no issue with the baptism taking place. I was so grateful that a worthy individual could enter the waters of baptism and align themselves with Jesus Christ.
Another note to myself that I wrote that day so I wouldn’t forget:
Thinking back on (the issue), I was pretty worked up about it but somehow just moved on. I came to a feeling of peace about it that I didn’t even know was happening. But then it worked itself out, or God worked it out, and I look back and realize He spoke peace to my soul. I can almost hear Him, “Peace, my son. Don’t you know my hand is in these things? Don’t you know I will care for my children? Have faith.”
For those anticipating the miracle third baptism in June- it didn’t happen. In fact, the second one was delayed to July 13th. I think that’s wonderful. I think of it as God’s way of reminding me that my faith is far from perfect. I set an arbitrary goal of June and to keep me humble He had the second baptism occur in July and the third didn’t happen. I’m far from truly aligned with His will. We’re far from being able to work all miracles. But God does watch. He does hear. He does care. In that ward, we had two baptisms the previous 12 months. In the 35 days after I left my favorite calling ever, the ward that saved my life, baptized two new members.
One of those members was recently sealed in the temple.
The first person I had the pleasure of seeing baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while I was Ward Mission Leader got married in the temple 5 months after his baptism.
Casper’s Baptism
Beth and I had the greatest pleasure of hosting 3 former missionaries in our home so we could all go to the wedding together. I remember sitting in the temple, waiting for the sealing. Waiting for Casper and Ashlee, two people that had greatly impacted and strengthened my faith, to be sealed to each other for time and all eternity. I was sitting and thinking.
Elder Dotson, one of the missionaries who had the honor of teaching Casper the Gospel, came and sat by me. He told me, “This is why we baptize people. Baptisms and endowments and all the covenants made are important. But this is what it’s all about. Two people getting sealed in the temple. Starting a family that will be together for eternity. This is why we do what we do. This is what it’s all about.”
I wish everyone could know the joy I’ve felt helping someone find what I’ve found. I wish I could share the joy of seeing two people sealed together for eternity. A love never to be separated. It’s the great plan of our loving Heavenly Father and what we’re here to do. Develop faith. Obtain and nurture an eternal family. Return to Him.
I’m so grateful for His Plan and the small part I get to play in it. There is no greater joy.
I don’t think many of my posts will be as similar to a journal entry as this one. I have many topics I want to touch on that I’ve thought a long time about writing about. This topic is very current and happening in my life. Therefore, I want to write about it now, while it holds so much significance.
I’m getting married in 19 days. I don’t want to write about the stress of it and all that because really, who cares? (Oh, by the way, if my fiancé asks, I CARE!)
I want to talk about certain reactions I’ve gotten to getting married soon. On multiple occasions this conversation has happened:
“So, the wedding is coming up, how are you feeling?”
Me – “Nervous, just want to get it over with.”
“Yeah, having second thoughts?”
Me – “Uhm..no. Just nervous about the day and the event and the planning and making sure it all goes right for her. “
I’ve had that reaction from multiple different people. Why is their first thought always that I’m having second thoughts about it? It’s scary and it’s a big commitment but I’m marrying my best friend. The most kind, beautiful, loving, patient, understanding, smart person I’ve ever met. When I go to work I wish she could come with me. When I play basketball, I want her to be there, watching. When she is doing something so mundane, it becomes bearable because I’m with her. Yes, I’m scared and nervous. That mostly comes from wanting to never disappoint her. The truth is, I’m not that worried about her. She’s going to be the most amazing wife there ever was. I’m more worried about being the husband she deserves.
Here’s the test. Can I write a short entry… looks like no. I must now get into the bigger, societal implications of these responses from other married and single men. Why is this the reaction? The issue is that we think marriage is disposable and love is something you can fall out of.
I will begin to tread lightly at this point because I am far from a master of love. In fact, if you don’t want to risk getting bad advice, you may want to just tune out now. Or better yet, go back to where I almost concluded and just think, ‘huh, nice post,’ and move on to the next one.
If I’ve learned something from my parents, as I’ve gotten older, it’s that marriage isn’t easy. As a child, I was blissfully unaware of any marital unrest. Now, I see tension and issues more clearly. That being said, my parents are the most amazing example of love I’ve ever seen. I understand how blessed I am to have an example of love so close to me. They are best friends. My dad doesn’t want to do anything without my mom. I’ve always seen that, and it’s had a profound impact on me.
As I got older I realized more how hard it is. It’s not easy for my parents; it’s not easy for anyone. Feelings get hurt. That person starts chewing REALLY loud. They tell the same story over and over. But love isn’t something that falls away. It’s a choice. You choose to put your feelings aside because you hope they didn’t mean to hurt you, you accept their loud chewing, you act like it’s the first time you’ve heard that same, stupid story.
Our Bishop gave us one piece of advice I hope I never forget. He said, “If you both try your hardest, always to make the other happy, you’ll have the happiest marriage in the world.” Of course, that’s easier said than done. My fiancé and I have already run into how tenuous a concept that can be (maybe a post for another day). But we’re trying. And I love her. I wish I could exhibit as much love to her as she deserves. Right now I know I’m not. Over time, I plan to become better and I plan to love her the way she deserves. I know today I’m not close to the husband she deserves. I hope to one day be.
Marriage isn’t something to throw away when it gets stale. It’s something to preserve and fight for. Marriages until death do you part are great, but I am so excited to be married for time and all eternity. I can’t imagine the work I’m about to put into this relationship to love it and let it grow and flourish into a connection welded in steel, for it to be over once this life is over. “They twain (separate, apart) shall be one flesh” (Mark 10:8).
I’ll conclude with a quote from a book I loved,
“To me marriage must be eternal! How could it be otherwise when two grow together and become as one? Death can not separate them without destroying; they are no longer two perfect beings, but one in soul and spirit forever.”
No Coincidences 