No Coincidences

Tag: sisters

  • Toddlers and Infants

    Toddlers and Infants

    I can’t remember where I first heard it, but I once heard teenagers described as assassins of happiness. I think toddlers are assassins of stability. You are constantly on edge about what chaotic thing is about to happen when around toddlers.

    Chaos Personified

    I’m convinced this anarchic nature of toddlers is not by coincidence.

    Beth and I have followed the expeditious family planning path thus far. Ivy and Sage are separated by exactly 21 months.

    I love toddlers. Ivy is so much fun. She is also so unstable. This, I think, is the part that is no coincidence. Infants are more predictable. They eat, they cry, they poop, they sleep. That’s about it. You can pretty much rely on those 4 activities from an infant.

    Fun

    Ivy’s standard response to any question is “no, yes! No! Yes, No! No, yes!”

    A normal interaction with Ivy:

    “Ivy, do you want some blueberries?”

    “NO! YES!”

    As I walk to the kitchen to get her blueberries –

    “No, no, no, no, no.”

    I turn around.

    “You don’t want blueberries?”

    Ivy – “Yes!”

    “You do want blueberries?”

    Ivy – “No!”

    I walk away from kitchen, giving up on the blueberry mission.

    Ivy – “No, no, no, no, no.”

    I stop, “Ivy, do you want blueberries?”

    Big, beautiful, irresistible, dimpled smile – “Yes.”

    We get blueberries.

    Ivy. Joy. Blueberries.

    Sage’s standard response to any question is to stare at me blankly. This infant response defines stability.

    Stability

    I love Ivy, but when I need a break from the hectic instability of a toddler, I go to Sage for some reliability. They are equally loved if only for the sake of my sanity.

    I love being a dad.

    All the toddler attitude:

    • The Need for God in the Newborn Days

      The Need for God in the Newborn Days

      Having a newborn is pretty difficult. Understatement? The challenges are diverse and wide-ranging. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.

      As Beth and I were driving to the hospital for her to bring a baby into the world – we prayed.

      As we waited to get checked into the hospital – I prayed.

      As we sat in our first room and Beth’s pain started to increase – I prayed harder.

      As we were moved into the delivery room and the miracle began – I prayed constantly.

      As I held my new daughter – I prayed, holding back tears of gratitude.

      As we took the new member of our family to our hospital room – I prayed.

      As we struggled to stay awake and care for her new needs – I prayed.

      As we drove home – I prayed.

      As we started the first weeks of no sleep, stress, anxiety, and responsibility. As we tried to feed Sage, as we changed her multiple times throughout the night, as we walked around bleary eyed, as she slept on my chest, as she cried in my arms – I pray constantly for help and strength.

      As Beth becomes a zombie from lack of sleep – I pray.

      As I fall asleep holding Sage – I pray.

      As Ivy adjusts to a new sister, the responsibility, and the change to her little world – I pray for her.

      As Beth works to breastfeed every 3 hours and continues not to sleep – I pray for her.

      As I go back to work, Beth having extreme trepidation – I pray, and I assure her it will be ok.

      We’re being looked after.

      As Beth texts me, “You must have said a good prayer for us for today. I can’t believe I feel as good as I do right now.” – I pray with so much gratitude.

      I know we’re being looked after.

      Having and bringing home a newborn is stressful and a momentous responsibility. I don’t think that is a coincidence. I think it’s meant to remind us how much we need Him. I’m grateful for how difficult it is to bring a new baby home because it brings me closer to my Heavenly Father. I have to rely on Him, because I know my strength is nothing, and I know I can’t do it without Him.

      I’m grateful for these challenges because they remind me how much I need Him.

      I’m grateful to know He is there.

      I’m grateful to know we are watched over.

      • Love has Afforded Me Much

        Love has Afforded Me Much

        Ivy is the first grandchild on both sides.  Ivy has 13 aunts and uncles.  She has two sets of grandparents who, while around her, make no qualms about her being the princess of the universe and most important thing to ever come to earth. As I watch her with family, I’m blown away by the amount of love.  She is loved so much.  Beth and I love her so much.  See The Greatest Moment of My Life Every Day for further evidence.

        I wonder how much this love positively impacts Ivy’s future.  How much does it impact the person she will become?

        As I watch her, something occurred to me recently.  I was surrounded by this same love growing up.  I wasn’t the first grandchild on either side, but I was surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and grandparents that loved and adored me.  Love was poured out upon me without measure as a baby.  Not only was I loved by those I could see, but I was made to know that God and so many I couldn’t see also loved and cared about me.

        While watching Ivy, it occurred to me how lucky and blessed I was to be surrounded by all that love.

        How much was I positively impacted by the love I was surrounded by?  How much did it shape who I am today?

        Not all children are given this great gift.

        It was a humbling thought.  It’s humbling to consider all that I’ve been given.  If I ever get prideful about any good qualities I may have, I can quickly look at all the attention, direction, and love I’ve been given in my life and realize there is nothing to be prideful of.  I have been afforded much.

        And to whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48, D&C 82:3).

        This used to be a daunting scripture.  Now it is a great responsibility, and a great blessing.

        As I’ve gotten older, I have become more aware of how blessed I was to be raised with the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  That is why I write this blog.  That is why I try to talk to friends, family, coworkers, etc. about the Book of Mormon.  That’s why I share my testimony of Jesus Christ.

        I am grateful for The Family A Proclamation to the World for what is teaches authoritatively and without reservation about the importance of the family unit.  My family unit has blessed my life in so many ways.  I wish every child could be loved like I was, like I still am, like Ivy is.

        God expects me to share the love I’ve been given.  Not in a prideful way, but with a humble recognition of how lucky I truly am.

        The two great commandments are to love and to love.  When you receive love, you must give love.  That’s what God asks from us.