No Coincidences

Tag: teach

  • Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Today I was driving into work and a thought occurred to me.

    This wasn’t the first time this thought has come to me, but seldom has it hit me so clearly and with such impact.

    The thought was this:

    “I’m driving down the freeway and I’m surrounded by people also on the freeway. Most of us on our way to work. A seemingly innumerable number of us. In Phoenix, this is not too far from the truth. A million of us on our way to work. What is the point of all this? I know the point of all this. So few of these people around me know why they’re here or what they’re doing.”

    This is a common theme I write about. The importance of knowing where we come from, why we’re here, and where we’re going. The three ultimate questions that so few seem to care about nowadays.

    A world of billions and how many know their purpose?

    I know my purpose. I know what’s more important than anything. Two things:

    1. My family.
    2. Assisting, however I can, in the building of God’s Kingdom, or sharing the great and important truths with as many people as I can, the truths that no one seems to seek anymore.

    Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that second item. Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that first item.

    I feel better about the first item every time I see Ivy, Sage, or Beth smile.

    Sometimes I feel like no one around me cares about eternity and that makes item two difficult.

    But we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, and loving our families (item one) no matter how hard it gets.

    And we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, loving, and sharing with our eternal family (item two) no matter how much apathy seems to have set in.

    This is eternity.

  • Of Goodly Parents

    Of Goodly Parents

    Over Christmas, I watched family home videos with my family. We played a video from 1994, a few months after my sister Adie was born. I was four at the time. I was singing to Adie.

    Early in the video, I was singing Humpty Dumpty, Old Mcdonald, and Jack and Jill. Then I started singing Follow the Prophet.

    Adam was a prophet, first one that we know.

    In a place called Eden, he helped things to grow.

    Adam served the (King!) Lord by following his ways.

    We are his descendants in the latter days.

    Of course, at that age, I stumbled through most of the song and got many prompts. King was my confident guess at who Adam served. My answer was as right as the correct lyric anyway.

    My mom joked while my whole family was gathered around watching, “See, we did teach you about the Bible.”  We laughed.

    I don’t remember singing that song to Adie when I was four, obviously. But that song is so ingrained in my heart and soul, it’s a part of my being. Watching that video, it’s a physical, emotional, and spiritual remembering. As an adult now, thinking about that song, it feels like it’s always been a part of me. After watching that quick video, I know why.

    Parenthood is infinite tiny moments. I know that every day provides thousands and thousands of opportunities to have an impact on Ivy and Sage. I’m grateful for the thousands and thousands of moments my parents impacted me.

    My parents have flaws just as I do. I pray to Heavenly Father that, despite my many shortcomings and flaws, I can have a positive impact on Ivy and Sage, just as my parents had on me.

    If you’ve read the themes in my writing, you know there are three things ingrained in me that I know to be true.

    1. I have a divine inheritance; I am a child of God.
    2. I am loved.
    3. I am watched over.

    I hope to ingrain these same truths into the hearts and minds of Ivy and Sage. I wish to remind them here of what their souls already know. That is the greatest gift I could give them.

  • Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

    Mosiah 3:19 Talk
    January 9, 2022
    Good morning brothers and sisters.
    I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

    The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

    For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

    “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

    When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

    Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
    Conqueror”:
    “Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

    Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

    This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
    conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
    criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
    creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

    Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

    “[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

    “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
    Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

    “As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

    Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

    HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

    We can actively seek this positive change…

    In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

    “Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
    ‘Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
    . . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

    Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

    Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

    Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

    Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

    When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

    This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

    However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

    However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

    I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

    I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • Divine Nature of Children

    Divine Nature of Children

    I dusted off this post I wrote 3 months before Ivy was born, but never shared. Seemed inspired to post it after just sharing about how much I learn from Ivy every day.

    Matthew 18:1-5

    1At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

    2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

    3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

    4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

    5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

    As the birth of my daughter approaches, I think more about children and why we’re admonished to be like them.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the divine nature of children.  We are so blessed to have children in our life.  We have been given the extraordinary privilege of welcoming and guiding a life into mortality.  What a gift this is.

    I think the divine nature of children should impact every parent.  I don’t have my own child yet (3 months and counting!), but I grew up with many siblings.  I know the struggle it is to always appreciate a child.  Kids can be so obnoxious!  I know throughout day-to-day life it can be difficult sometimes to remember how precious our children really are, how much of a gift children are to us.

    I think if parents stopped and considered the responsibility of raising a life, teaching and nurturing a young mind and spirit, it should add an intense reverence to everything we say and do around kids.

    I cringe when I see adults swear around young kids.  It makes me uncomfortable.  Kids soak up everything we say and do.  A moment in the life of a busy adult that seems insignificant can be a defining moment in a child’s life.  If all parents took a moment to understand that, to ponder it, and to appreciate the impact they have on their kids, I think the world would be a much better place.  Parents have the ability to teach kindness and sensitivity.  These are things kids pick up on.

    If parents took a moment to consider the responsibility of teaching one of God’s children, that should be another sobering moment for all adults.  God has given you the opportunity as a parent to cultivate and protect a spirit, His child.  What greater responsibility is there in the world?

    In 3 Nephi 26 verses 14 and 16 we read:

    14 “And it came to pass that he (Christ) did teach and minister unto the children of the multitude… and he did loose their tongues, and they did speak unto their fathers great and marvelous things, even greater than he had revealed unto the people; and he loosed their tongues that they could utter.”

    16 “…and they both saw and heard these children; yea, even babes did open their mouths and utter marvelous things; and the things which they did utter were forbidden that there should not any man write them.”

    I’ve been pondering on this significant moment in scripture.  Christ is in the Americas ministering to His people and their young children are present.  What we’re told is something so spectacular it’s difficult to comprehend.  We read that the children did speak “even greater (things) than (Jesus Christ) had revealed unto the people.”

    Think about that for a moment.  Here was Christ, the supreme creator, Son of God, our Lord and Savior, ministering and teaching the people.  He loosed the tongues of young children and they spoke things greater than Jesus Christ Himself had revealed.  Verse 16 goes on to tell us the things the babes spoke were so sacred that they were forbidden to write their words.  This is similar to the prayer of Jesus Christ to the Father.  These children were saying such sacred things it could not be written.

    I believe something important was being shown to the ancient Nephites.  Perhaps more than opening the mouths of babes, the Lord was opening the eyes and ears of their astonished parents.  Those parents had been granted the extraordinary gift of a glimpse into eternity and of beholding the identity and premortal stature of their children.  Would that not forever change the way the parents saw and treated their children? 

    I like this variation of a quote attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “The way you see [a child] is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is [who] they [will] become.”  To remember a child’s true identity helps us to guide them to their divine destiny.

    I hope we always remember how precious children are.  Even when they’re at their peak of obnoxious-ness, let’s remember that they are gifts.  They are special.  Most of all, we’re supposed to be like them. 

    I’m excited to have a daughter soon and be able to marvel daily at the gift God has given me and how lucky I am for the blessings He continues to give me.

  • Open Minds

    Open Minds

    Coincidences.  God puts people in our lives and around us for very important reasons.  Our encounters in this life are not by chance. 

    What would have happened if the first day I wanted to go to church my roommate Chris said, “no, go on your own, I’m not going to that place”? I probably wouldn’t have gone.  I may have never gone back.  That would have altered my life in profound ways.

    Chris was raised a certain way.  I think he was raised or taught, at least to some extent, to have an open mind.  When I asked him to go with me to my church his reaction was, “sure, why not?”

    I have a friend who got baptized about 5 years ago.  I came back to church about 4 years ago.  That person has become one of my closest friends, especially in the church.  We were able to grow together in our testimonies.  Early on, we had things in common, namely: sports.

    What would have happened if that friend didn’t get baptized?  Would I still be here?  Without someone to talk about the struggles, challenges, ups, and downs of returning to church, or in his case joining a church, would either of us have had the strength on our own to continue?  Of course, if it wasn’t this friend someone else may have stepped in.  That’s the amazing part about life.  The butterfly effect is a phrase we use.  Switch one event, one minor detail, and where are we?

    This friend’s mother lived across the country so I hadn’t had a chance to meet her for the first part of our friendship.  I was always so excited to meet his mom.  Why?  Because I wanted to meet the person who raised someone that was so open minded to investigate and research a church and find truth.  People completely open to truth, in whatever form it comes, are rare today.  When I met her I was not disappointed.  She was an open-minded, positive, and powerful woman.

    What would have happened if she didn’t raise her son this certain way?  What if 5 years prior he was introduced to the church and, because of moments throughout his life, he instead developed a closed-off approach to new things?  What if he said, “I don’t need a church.”  If he didn’t get baptized 5 years ago, would I be here?

    Dominoes.  Butterflies.

    There are all these moments, countless moments that impact us.  We’ll never know in this life how tiny moments in our life have profound impacts.

    I know that God laid forth this plan and every moment is important. We’re here to grow, we’re here to learn. I firmly believe God put us in the best possible position to accomplish those things. There are no coincidences in God’s plan.

    I’m grateful for people with open minds.  I’m grateful for people with closed-off minds.  I’m grateful for people in between.  We all have something to teach each other and I’m so thankful for the opportunity to be here and to develop relationships, to learn to love, and to learn what is most important. Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow and I’m thankful for that.