No Coincidences

Tag: The Social Dilemma

  • The Social Dilemma part 2

    The Social Dilemma part 2

    I am worried about the youth today.

    I don’t have a Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, how many etceteras do I need nowadays?

    I’ve really tried to follow the advice I wrote about from my first post on The Social Dilemma (Netflix).  For a while I turned off suggested videos in YouTube, but I found the blank pages and the difficulty in finding what I was looking for to be too much to deal with.  Instead, I only go to YouTube with a purpose and try as best as I can to watch only the video I go there to watch. As of this writing the suggested videos in my YouTube has ballooned to 273 (273 videos!) since I’ve stopped looking at suggested videos. That’s a little red 273 on my phone home screen. That’s 273 times YouTube has said, “this video is just right for you.” That is countless hours (or hours I don’t want to count) of video footage YouTube has suggested to me. Yikes. I’m going to continue to avoid those videos and see how ludicrous that 273 number can become.

    I’ve also tried not to use Google which I’ve found to be way harder than I anticipated.  There’s a reason Google has the best search results, and that reason is they don’t care about your privacy.  With my job in IT support, I’ve found it impossible to use other search engines.  I still have the Qwant extension installed in my Google Chrome but find myself searching through Google anyway. 

    Like YouTube, I avoid Facebook as much as I can. As I write this, checking my battery usage, Facebook is still 11% of my total battery used.  When I do get on Facebook, the worst thing that can happen is I watch a video.  It’s the same reason I avoid YouTube as much as possible.  Facebook I find to be much worse than YouTube, at least for me.  Let me explain what happens when I get on Facebook and if I watch a video:

    1. I stumble upon a video title that I can’t avoid watching.  Something like, “The reason Donovan Mitchell will never win a championship for Utah.” 
      • Now I’m stuck.
    2. That video ends and is followed by, “I gave $1,000,000 to a stranger on the street!”
      •  I’m losing my free will.
    3. Next video, “I bought 10,000 black widows and put them in my mom’s bathroom!” 

    I’ll emerge from a sequence of videos like the above hours later and think to myself, “what just happened?”

    The above is only a slight exaggeration.

    The disconcerting, uncomfortable, and completely frightening truth is – once I watch that first, then second, then third video that has clearly been sent because they know it catches my attention – it’s really difficult for me to get away.  I’ll feel it happening.  Like, I’ll be on minute 6 of a 9-minute video and think, “after this one I’m done.”  Then as minute 8 starts to end I get this feeling, this urge.  Like – I have to watch another one.  I’ll feel this urge.  I’ll fight it.  And somehow, I end up watching another video.  I may sound dramatic, but it’s truly terrifying.

    Am I the only one?

    Beth and I have gotten into a routine with Ivy’s sleeping where I’m usually up briefly with Ivy around 11pm and Beth is up with her briefly around 4am. 

    Every once in a while (not often), I wake in the morning to a 4:15am text from Beth with some video or article.  I realize that, in a stupor, she was drawn to her phone.  This likely happened while she was lying in bed watching the baby monitor, waiting to see if Ivy would fall back asleep so she could go to sleep.

    Recently Beth took a picture of Ivy and I together on the couch.  I watched Beth open Facebook to share the picture.  I watched Beth somehow end up finding herself watching some video.  10 minutes later, talking to herself, Beth said something like, “what was I doing?…”

    I told her she likely looked at her phone to post a picture.

    “Oh yeah…” was her reply.

    I’m not the only one.

    Beth and I aren’t the only ones.

    Back to the first sentence I wrote for this post.  I am AFRAID for the youth today.  How do they survive in a world where advertisers know what they want to see, then put it directly into their hand over.. and over…and over…..and over……

    Something needs to be done for our youth, but I’m not sure what.  It’s too easy for them to be completely enveloped in this digital world.  We are frighteningly close to a Black Mirror-esc existence where kids only exist in their phones.  Maybe the only way we can help our youth is leading by example.

    I try to only be on my phone to read the scriptures. I’m not even great at responding to messages, as some of you know.  I read physical books.  I’m aware of Facebook’s and other social media companies’ pull on my attention, and I try to fight it.  I think it’s important we teach our kids the same thing.

    This must be the way we can help kids today. Lead by example. Read books. Show that the phone can be set aside. Go on day trips where the phone is not allowed to come. Set a requirement where there are no phones after dinner. I don’t know, anything! Something needs to be done and this is the first place to start.

    Otherwise the below picture is every family’s future. And that is a sad future.

    *Credit to photographer Eric Pickersgill who took these pictures depicting people with their mobile phones and devices removed from the photo.

  • The Social Dilemma (Netflix)

    The Social Dilemma (Netflix)

    What is truth?

    How do we know?

    If you haven’t watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix, watch it as soon as possible.  Could end up being the most important documentary of our generation.  Given that we are the generation of documentaries, that would make it the most important documentary ever.

    Why is this documentary important?  Because it’s real and it’s happening now. 

    What will be the downfall of America?  Have we given Civil War enough consideration?

    Let’s do a quick thought experiment.  What happens if Donald Trump wins the election this November?  There will be 165 million mad people.  Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

    What happens if Joe Biden wins the election in November?  There will be 165 million mad people.  Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

    Of course, 165 million people is an exaggeration because not everybody is this passionate, or angry, or inflamed about the upcoming election.

    Let’s call the number 30 million on each side.  Sound much better?

    Why is this happening?  Why are people always so angry?

    There is an increasing gap between what we would deem the “center.”  Center of anything.  Not overly passionate about one side or the other.  I’m not just talking about politics.  I’m talking about anything.  The middle is gone.  The “hear the other side,” “hear them out,” “hear their opinions,” are disappearing.  We’re turning into a world of people who think we know everything while not knowing anything.

    So much from The Social Dilemma gave me an intense feeling of anxiety.  One statistic mentioned was that a study showed lies are spread on the internet/social media 6 times more quickly than truths.  What happens if a lie always has a 6x head start on the truth?  What happens is what we’re seeing happen.  Contention.  Hatred.  Vitriol.  Anger.  Confusion.  Aggression.  Fighting.

    This brings me to the most important point.

    What is truth?

    Can we even know what truth is?

    Truth is a concept society is starting to wonder exists.  How do we find something our society is starting to believe is a myth?

    This is where I turn off all my non-religious friends, but I would ask my non-religious friends:  What is your truth?  What do you turn to when everything around you is chaos, and confusion, and darkness?

    I don’t say this to spread the divide more.  I say this to invite others to find truth and make that truth love-based at all costs. 

    I love God because He loved me first.

    What is truth?

    God is truth. 

    He’s my truth.  Maybe He isn’t yours.  But you must find a truth to hold to dearly.  This truth must be centered on love.  We’ve seen what hate-filled “truth” results in.

    How do we survive in an age of disinformation?

    What do we do to protect ourselves?

    I think first we follow all the suggestions given during the credits of The Social Dilemma documentary.  I will list those here and then add my own suggestions.

    1. Uninstall apps from your phone that waste your time.
      • Hint: most of them.
    2. Turn off notifications.  Especially for anything that vibrates your leg that doesn’t provide an immediate and important alert you need to see at that moment.
    3. Use a search engines besides Google.
    4. Never watch a video recommended to you anywhere:  Facebook, Youtube, etc.  If it’s not something you went there to search for and to watch, just don’t watch it.
      • Wayyyyy easier said than done (but let’s all try!)
    5. Use a Chrome extension to remove recommendations.  Below are some options.
    6. Before you share anything online, fact check, consider the source, do the extra research (make sure it is GOOD).
      • If it looks like it’s designed to push your emotional buttons, it probably is.  Don’t share it.
    7. You vote with your clicks.  If you click on clickbate you’re perpetuating the problem.  Reward GOOD material.
    8. Get different kinds of information.
      • If you are on Twitter, add people who have different opinions from you.
      • Talk to people in the real world about real issues.
      • When you find enough people in the real world to talk to, delete your Twitter.
    9. Delete the social media accounts you really don’t need, that you don’t feel are healthy, that are taking you away from life.  Delete it and embrace the freedom!
    10. Get out of the system.
    11. The World is beautiful.  Live.

    For Families:

    1. Don’t give devices to your children.  Don’t allow them on social media.  Just don’t.
    2. Minimal screen time.
      • Set a limit and stick to it.  It was suggested to ask your child what they think is a good amount of time to spend looking at a screen each day.  Your child will often give a reasonable response.
      • Create that limit and then give rewards for going under it.  Set a 7 hour per week limit for screen time and your child spent 6 hours?  1-hour reward is a bowling trip or mini golf outing.  I used to love incentives like these as a kid.  I hope kids still do.
    3. No devices in the bedroom a set amount of time before bedtime. This will also help with sleep because you’re removing blue light which signals to your brain that it’s time to wind down.
      • Here’s a suggestion – read a book instead of your phone!
    4. Treat Social Media how Latter-day Saints treat dating – not before 16.

    Here are my suggestions.  If you can- delete it all.  Just do it.  I can almost promise you’ll feel better within a couple weeks, after the withdrawals stop.

    Me personally, I have a Facebook.  I use it so I can share my blog.  It’s good to have.  I see the use.  I’m working on limiting my scrolling down my timeline to zero and especially not watching suggested videos in my feed.  Suggested videos inevitably lead me to watching video after video of garbage material.

    Another thing that has helped me a ton has been moving the Facebook app from my main page.  I have it on page two.  That way I’m not constantly slapped in the face by that addictive, dopamine-igniting red alert symbol.  I have my Gospel Library on my home screen and if I find myself instinctively (or robotically) looking at my phone I do my best to open the scriptures and read those instead. 

    I understand all these things are easier said than done.  It’s not easy to delete social media.  It’s not easy, I get it.  I’m right there with you.  Technology is so good.  It can be used for so much good.  Why don’t we start using it for good again? 

    That brings me to my last point.

    My final and most important point.  What can we do to make a difference:  Share GOOD stuff. 

    Emphasis on GOOD MATERIAL.

    By good material I don’t mean you like it, or it tickled your fancy.  I mean it is GOOD.  It is wholesome.  It is kind.  It doesn’t make you explosively emotional but makes you feel gentle in your emotions. I mean good as in the good guided by the spirit.  I mean good as in loving.  I mean good as in spreading positivity. 

    I’m guilty like everyone else.  I see a post from the Church, and I scroll right through.  The AI (artificial intelligence) involved sees that (how scary is that?!).  They know I scrolled quickly past something GOOD.  We each need to make a conscious effort to spend time on the good stuff.  Read the good stuff.  Watch the good stuff.  If you don’t have good stuff on your Facebook timeline, use AI for good!  Go to google and search for Jesus Christ, the scriptures, conference talks, missionary messages.  You know how when you search for that cute new jacket for winter and there are suddenly cute winter jackets on your timeline?  Works the same way for good stuff.  Search for good stuff.  You’ll see more good stuff.  Spend more time with the good stuff. 

    This is how we can combat and fight the echo chamber of hatred.  This is how we remove political polarization.  This is how we remove lies.

    In the steps above I mentioned fact-checking what you share.  How about this? Spiritually check what you share.  Stop.  Say a prayer.  Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is spreading goodness, positivity, or love. If not, it can be deleted.

    I often pray before I write, and I often pray before I share what I write.  I always hope what I write is guided by something bigger and better than me. 

    Spiritually check everything you do online.  Is this making me a better person?  No.  Get it out of here.  Could this make someone’s day, bring a smile, alter someone for the better – SHARE IT. 

    This is what we can do.  This is how we can make a difference.

    I don’t ever say like and share on my blog posts because it’s become such a stupid thing to say.  But we need to say it for the things that deserve it.  Maybe we should change it to “LIKE AND SHARE GOODNESS.”

    So, if you think this was worth reading, did something positive for you, or helped you in any way, please share it.

    We can all do our part by sharing goodness.

    You can join the discussion and learn more about the Social Dilemma documentary at TheSocialDilemma.com

    I think this is important and I think it should be something we all start thinking about.  Let’s start thinking about it.  Let’s start doing our part.