No Coincidences

Tag: time

  • Raising our Children

    Raising our Children

    I don’t understand the timing of eternity. I don’t understand how it’s going to work out.

    There is a peculiar promise made to Emma Smith in church history. That promise was that she would be able to raise to adulthood the children she had lost.

    I always found this strange.

    Why would she want to raise her children after life on earth? Their souls will be grown, and they will no longer need rearing to adulthood like they would have needed on earth. Are there children in heaven?

    Then the other day I was spending time with Ivy and Sage. Wren was also in the room. Ivy said something very smart. Sage said something very cute. Wren spit up. I realized how precious each of these phases was.

    While I’d always considered this promise strange, in that moment it made sense. I wouldn’t want to miss out on any of these moments or phases with my daughters. Each age, each moment, each day is so unique with each of them.

    Right now Ivy is becoming so smart and so helpful.

    Right now Sage is so trusting and so happy.

    Right now Wren is so innocent and so cute.

    I could add 100 more individual adjectives for them at these specific moments. They are each so unique.

    A common theme of my prayers is asking God the question: What did I do to earn these precious gifts?

    I don’t know how I could possibly be worthy of these unique and special souls that have been sent down to me. I look at Ivy, Sage, and Wren and just marvel at who they are.

    I marvel that the world goes day-to-day without answers to these questions:

    Why am I here?

    Where did I come from?

    Where am I going?

    What happens to those we love when they move on?

    This life is so hard but without the inkling of an understanding of what comes next, it seems so hopeless.

    The Plan of Salvation is a Plan of Happiness. Because God loves us He gave us families. Because He loves us He gave us the chance to come to this planet to learn.

    I marvel at this plan and that I get to be a part of it.

    I don’t know exactly how things work after this life. I don’t know how eternity works. But I do know that God is perfect and He loves us perfectly. I know that nothing will be lost – not one moment, not one gift.

    I know that God gave me these daughters not for this life but for eternity. I know we’ll be together forever.

  • Speed of God

    Speed of God

    I recently read a book called ­Project Hail Mary. It’s by the same guy who wrote The Martian. This book has the space travel and physics concept of time dilation involved. I’m an ignoramus when it comes to the physics of this so I’m not going to say anything smart here. Time dilation is the idea that if you’re moving at a fast enough speed, you will age slower than someone moving at a normal or slower speed. See a movie like Interstellar for example. This is related to Einstein’s theory of relativity.

    To think about someone moving at a speed that makes them age slower than others – time dilation – is a beyond complext concept. The book had a comment like, “I’m glad the universe thought to have time slow down as you approached the speed of light.” That made me think, it’s amazing the universe is like this.

    Before I continue, I just wanted to share, this is the beginnings of a thought on how the physics of this complex phenomena might explain something about God, our relationship to Him, and our position to Him in the cosmos. In doing this, because I’m so ignorant on the topic and don’t fully understand it, I’m sure I’ll get something wrong that someone who better understands the science of this topic can point out. That’s fine. I take comfort in the fact that the people out there that adequately understand this concept are roughly 1 per 1 billion so probably unlikely to read my blog.

    This is more a mental exercise for myself.

    So… the faster you move, the slower you age. What is age for us? It is our mind and bodies degrading.

    God is the center of the universe. We all revolve around God. As we move closer to God, we move closer to the center.

    I’ve written about God and time before, here for example.

    Time is definitely different and potentially nonexistent for God. We talk about 1000 years for us being a day for God, in a way for us to try to understand God’s “time” (see Psalm 90:4 and 2 Peter 3:8, and especially D&C 130:4-11).

    God is light. God is in the center. So that would be why 1000 years for us is like a day for God. Time moves slower for Him because He’s at the center. Of course, God doesn’t age, He has a resurrected, perfected, and celestial body, but time moves slower for Him because He moves infinitely faster than the speed of light. He moves at the speed of everything – past, present, and future.

    So at a higher speed or revolution, less time is experienced. God’s mind, power, and faith move at a rate impossible for us to comprehend. Maybe that’s what makes Him in everything, alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. His higher speed puts Him on a higher plane. If we come closer to God, we would have to come closer to His speed and His plane, His level. If we do that, then time would slow down for us. We would be able to comprehend more. We would “age” slower. We would become like Him.

    By the way, this sent me down a wormhole (pun intended) of Youtube videos on time dilation, wormholes, the general theory of relativity, “nothing,” the twin paradox, space, and a plethora of other topics. This all led me to believe, while I can’t properly put into words my exact theory, that there is something to the above. There is something to God being the center. There is something to Christ being “light” which we know we can’t, in this life, move at the speed of. There is something to this physics and God thing. That makes sense given that God would be the master physicist as the Creator of the Universe.

    I’ll leave these musing at this point. Basically, long story short, there is something to God being on Kolob and us and our solar system revolving around Him. More on this as I explore this thought more.

  • Why do we Love our Children?

    Why do we Love our Children?

    I recently heard a quote so good I want to quote it in full:

    “Think about this. When a little baby is born, that baby cries at inopportune times, makes a lot of noise. It soils its diapers; it demands to be fed when it wants to be fed. It costs you a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of lost sleep. So why do we keep putting up with these little creatures? It’s because there’s this deep, underlying feeling of love for these children of ours. We love them so much that we don’t look at what it’s costing us. We keep infusing life and we keep teaching, and we keep forgiving, and we keep working with, and we keep nurturing and feeding and helping them to grow to become who they need to become and who they have the capacity to become.”

    I think that’s an awesome quote. Well said.

    I’ve been thinking about this more lately. With a toddler that is so full of joy and happiness, and also, sometimes, not. And a 7-month-old that still isn’t sleeping great. And with plates thrown and irrational frustrations (by the toddler), and crying and no sleep and…

    Ivy “loving” Sage

    *Sigh

    The energy it takes. The life force being sucked out of me.

    And.

    Would I go back if I could?

    Not in a kagillion-billion-zillion-babillion years. I love them so much. It’s all worth it.

    Is it hard? Heck yeah. It’s so hard. Do I feel like I’m dying a slow death sometimes? Uh, yeah, I do.

    And then, Ivy smiles and says, “Dada. I love you.” And Sage sees me and inexplicably giggles. And suddenly, all that sucked out life force flows into my body from my head to my toes in a rush of energy and exhilaration and LOVE. It’s like nothing else in this world: looking at my two daughters. The love.

    As a parent, speaking for myself, there’s a point where you become numb to the sacrifice and all you give up for your children. There was a time when having to get up once in the middle of the night to check on anything would ruin my entire night of sleep. At this moment, the average night has at least 3 middle-of-the-night wake ups. Zero wake ups in the night is a miracle.

    Early on with Ivy, I really struggled with this. I started to wonder how I could survive without getting sleep. And now we’re starting over with Sage who doesn’t sleep nearly as well as Ivy did. I’m probably getting hours less sleep per week than I ever have. And yet I feel alive and invigorated. Somehow, I’m surviving. I think it’s that infusion of love I get from seeing them happy, healthy, and growing each day.

    Ivy the morning after waking me up three times in the middle of the night. She didn’t go to sleep with the crown.

    The time, the noise, the diapers, the feeding, the money, the energy, the sleep put into these “little creatures.” And yet, do I regret it? A resounding NO! I want more. I love them so much, it hurts. Sometimes it physically hurts how much I love them. That quote above came from a video of a guy discussing the Lectures on Faith. I’ll link it HERE.

    He was talking about the attributes of God. That wasn’t where the quote ended.

    “If we as mortal parents can figure that out (the love for our children), how much more do perfect, eternal parents have that figured out? God is a God motivated by love. It’s not just this outward thing, it’s part of the divine characteristic. God is love. Without that, you and I can’t have full faith in God unto life and salvation.”

    We’re here to learn to love like God. God, Christ, and the Holy Ghost love so perfectly that they have become one in mission, intent, and purpose. That is the love I feel for my family. I would give anything for them. My wants and needs have taken three back seats. Beth, Ivy, and Sage’s needs are so much more important than mine. The “world” will try to say this is unhealthy, that I need to “put myself first” or “take care of myself.” Of course, I don’t completely disregard my health and care, but that idea that I come first is extremely wrong. I don’t come first. I know that. And not coming first is what gives me strength each day. That infusion of love that comes from my family makes every sacrifice the sweetest sacrifice there is.

    If I feel this way, as a mortal man who knows how to give good gifts, how much more perfectly does God love me? How much more is He willing and able to give me because He loves me? I know God loves me. I am eternally grateful for His love. Now, He is teaching me how to love.

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • I Voted

    I Voted

    This is the fourth time I’ve voted for a President of the United States.  My enthusiasm for politics has ebbed and flowed every four years for each election. 

    This is the first time I’ve voted since I’ve been developing a politically focused mobile app and for that reason the first time I’ve voted while having serious thoughts about our political system, especially the flaws in it.

    As I voted, one flaw screamed in my face: the two party system.

    From what I’ve read, seen, and studied about George Washington there are two things I know about him.

    George Washington | Facts and Brief Biography
    1. He was one of the most extraordinary individuals to ever walk this planet.
    2. He HATED the two-party system.

    I believe some historians credit the development of a two-party system in his time as the reason he left the presidency after two terms.  That and his out of this world humility (see point 1 about his extraordinary nature).

    As I went down my ballot I was struck by the amount of research I’d have to do to be an educated voter.  I was discouraged at the thought that very few people are putting in that much effort.

    After all the protests, outrage, and anger over the past few months, are people voting?  Are they just voting for the President?  The President is important but he’s one piece to a huge puzzle. Albeit a bigger than average piece.  What do I know about my congressman?  My Attorney General?  My local officials?  Nothing.  I go to the internet, look up their page where they give themselves a portrayal of only smelling like flowers, decide I like their smile, and they get my vote.

    That’s the best-case scenario.

    What scared me the most was my own biases. 

    I won’t write here what my political affiliation is.  What I will say is, as I went down my ballot, the desire to simply choose the person from my party, with no research whatsoever, was terribly tempting.  It was going to be so much work to truly vet these people.  Who has the time?

    I desperately wanted to make voting easy.

    The way to make it easy was to blindly support a party.

    How many others fall into this category?  How many millions voted for all Democrats because that’s their party.  How many millions voted all Republican without any knowledge of the ethics or morals of those they were voting for?

    The two party system is a great danger to our democracy.  It has created so much hate and vitriol in the political system, which I’ve written about often. See The Social Dilemma and -ites: Politics for two examples.

    The slogan of our app is: “We believe good government starts with informed voters!”

    How many of us are informed?

    I don’t know how to fix America.  I don’t know how to fix our political system.  I wish I did.  I do know there’s a problem when we blindly vote for those, we *think we agree with.

    I’m as guilty of this flaw as the rest of America. 

    If anyone has suggestions or answers about ways to actually fix this, I’d love to hear it.  Not hypothetical “tear the system down!”  No, how can we actually start tomorrow to try to fix this?

    The app I’m working on will work to keep us more informed about our local leaders so we can hopefully keep them more accountable.  Does anyone even know who their local officials are?

    If you’re interested in the app please let me know.  Looking for feedback on it now. The web version can be viewed here: https://politikilocal.com/

    If you have thoughts on how to fix politics, please let us all know.  Something has to change.