No Coincidences

Tag: truth

RIP Coach

I often think about the people God put around me in my life. I’m obviously not the center of the universe, but sometimes, when I think about all those who have looked out for me throughout my life, it’s hard not to feel like that.

There’s an individual in my life who played a critical role at two of the most important junctures in my life. He was a dear friend, coach, mentor.

What’s so funny is, Coach Gonzalez never actually coached me. Jessie Gonzalez was the athletic director at my high school. Coach Gonzalez got close with most of the teams he looked over as athletic director. The basketball program was no exception.

My senior year at Cimarron we went to a tournament in Hawaii. Coach Gonzalez came on that trip to “watch” us, or chaperone, I guess. On that trip, Coach Gonzalez went from Coach Gonzalez to Gonzo, or just Coach.

Gonzo looked out for me throughout high school. Many don’t know this now, but I needed a lot of looking out for at that time.

I had bonded with Gonzo a bit on the Hawaii trip, but he wasn’t someone I would have considered a close friend or confidant. That is until I really, really needed someone to talk to. Then he was there, at the most difficult time of my life. Somehow, for reasons I won’t understand until I see the bigger picture, Gonzo was the phone call I made. He helped me through some very difficult things. I look forward to speaking to God, and Him showing me how critical that moment was. I look forward to seeing why Gonzo was there at that precise moment, and why God made sure I reached out to him.

We stayed in loose contact as I left high school.

Gonzo had a few of us he took under his wing and looked out for. I felt truly blessed to be “one of his boys.”

After high school, this fascinating thing happened where the roles Gonzo played in my life morphed. He went from 100% mentor to 50% mentor and 50% friend. Gonzo was only 11 years older than me. Not that many years, in the grand scheme.

In 2015 I went to a birthday party in Houston. It was a relative of Gonzo’s and made no sense for me to be there. It was really just an excuse to go to Houston and see Gonzo, who had moved to Michigan, and I hadn’t seen since high school. That trip is so memorable. I’m not going to elaborate any further. During that trip Gonzo stayed a 50% mentor but also became one of my closest friends, a lifelong friend.

The second, extremely critical cross roads in my life- I was trying to return to church. Who did I turn to? Who talked me through a year plus of difficulty, repentance, trials, temptations, questions, doubts, uncertainties? Countless hours were spent on the phone with him. He was going to see me through.

Gonzo isn’t a member of my church. He’s a member of a grander organization. He’s a brother and an angel that was here to look over me and guide me. I’m not sure I’d be an active member of my church today without his guidance. That was the power of Coach. He didn’t need to be a member of my church to help me with something so important. He only needed to listen, love me, help me.

Another moment I’ll never forget, I was only a couple months into trying to return into activity in the Church. Satan was hard at work in those first months. I could go on and on about what he put before me during those months.

One of those temptations was a staycation at my favorite place at the time, Talking Sticks Resort. I was still playing poker. During this weekend that TSR gave me a free suite to stay in, there was a huge summer pool party. My room overlooked the pool, of course.

Imagine me for a moment. Just a couple months into not drinking. Here I am at Talking Stick Resort, in a super nice room, overlooking a pool filled with beautiful people and all my temptations. I was literally in the great and spacious building. I had alcohol in the fridge. For those who don’t know this feeling, I can’t describe the pull. I don’t have words to describe the need to drink alcohol, go to the pool, let myself fully embrace this staycation.

I had worked so hard. I was going to church and making good choices. Surely, I could give myself this one weekend, right?

I was going to drink and join this party. There was really no doubt. As much as I told myself I wouldn’t, I was going to.

I can’t remember if I called him. There’s a chance he called me. I talked to Coach Gonzo. In true Jessie fashion, he didn’t tell me not to drink. He talked me through it. He told me it was a choice I had to make. He reminded me how hard I’d worked to return to church and stop drinking.

Then, almost nonchalantly, as if an afterthought, Coach said the most critical thing. He said, “You can drink and get wild and crazy, but man, after not drinking for as long as you’ve gone, tomorrow is going to suck. That hangover is going to be bad. Hangover aside, how are you going to feel about yourself in the morning?”

That was all I needed to hear.

For those wondering, I did join the pool party. I hung out, walked around. I didn’t embrace the party. I owe Jessie, Coach, Gonzo for that. I may owe him my now 5 years of sobriety.

Jessie Gonzalez left this stage of his coaching journey 6/8/21. He had some new people to coach and mentor, and he couldn’t do that here. I will miss him dearly. I already wonder who I will turn to when I need to be guided through the next trial. Part of me thinks he could move on because he already got me to the point where I can take care of myself. Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t need him anymore. The greater and more comforting truth is that you always need a mentor and friend like Gonzo, and he’s still there for me, more than ever now.

He was light. And he was joy. Nobody brought together a room like him.

He protected me from harm while here, both physically and spiritually.

I thought of something interesting last night. It hit me that Gonzo likely, just recently, had his life review. It brought me so much joy to think of him getting to see all the good he had done. I considered him getting to see every moment he impacted me and how big a role he played in my life. I thought about the net of goodness and light he spread while he was here.

It brought a smile to my face to know that he got to see his Savior. He was embraced, and loved, and free from the difficulties of this world.

He can coach in purity now, for, a purer heart there never was.

I miss him a lot now. Though I can’t hear his voice or see his face, he’ll continue to be with me, coaching from above. I look forward to the reunion.

I love you Jessie, Coach, Gonzo, and I thank you for all you did for me.

June 10, 2021
Godhead – My Understanding
Two posts ago I discussed the doctrine of the Trinity and my opposition to it.

This will be a much gentler post, detailing how I personally come to the belief and understanding of the Godhead as true doctrine.

First, an explanation I didn’t give last time. Definitions:
1. Trinity or Trinitarian belief: God is one God, but three coeternal and consubstantial persons; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The three persons are distinct, yet are one “substance, essence or nature” (homoousios). In this context, a “nature” is what one is, whereas a “person is who one is. (From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity). (Also, huh?).
2. Godhead: God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost form a group known as the Godhead. Each member is a different, individual being, yet all three are united in thought, desire, knowledge, power, and purpose. (From https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2019-08-0080-godhead?lang=eng). (Also, visit that link to watch a 7-minute video to learn more).
How can I say “I know” the Godhead to be true?

The Godhead is one of the unique beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

A majority of Christianity believes in the Trinity.

In this post, I won’t go into detail on the doctrine, differences, importance, history, etc. of the distinctions between Trinitarian and Godhead belief. That I’ll likely save for another day. In this post I simply want to explain how I have come to know for myself that the Godhead is true and correct doctrine.

The short answer to how I can know the Godhead to be true is:

Through study, prayer, and upbringing.

My understanding of this principle and the knowledge I have of it can be broken down very simply. It’s a similar breakdown that explains much of my testimony in the restored gospel.

In reading the Book of Mormon, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is the word of God. I know that it was translated through the power of God.

If the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet.

Joseph Smith told us he saw God the Father, and Jesus Christ on His right hand.

Joseph Smith History 1:17:

It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other-This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him!

Joseph Smith never wavered on this fact.

This could be where it ends, but I’ll add some notes on upbringing and study.

Upbringing – obviously, I must mention that my upbringing played a role in my believing this to be true. I was raised to believe in the Godhead; therefore, it is much easier for me to accept as truth. That said, it was up to me to ask questions, read the book for myself, study Joseph Smith’s history and understand the principle for me to come to the knowledge. Because I was raised to believe it to be true didn’t make it true. Which leads to the next point.

Study – As I said, through study and research I have determined the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. It is an inspired book.

Prayer – My testimony of the Book of Mormon, mentioned in study, not only comes from logical, mind-centered study, but from personal revelation. I’ve felt the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve prayed to know the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve received my answer, through prayer, that the Book of Mormon is true. Prayer is an irreplaceable ingredient.

The principle of the Godhead has been distorted, attacked, and misunderstood for centuries. One of the first attacks Satan always makes is on the nature of God. If Satan can confuse us on who God is, he can confuse us on who we are. We are children of the Almighty God.

I am grateful for modern revelation and prophets that make simple and powerful truths known. I am grateful to know that while God is magnificent and powerful, He is not un-knowable. The understanding of God as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as my brother, who gave His life for me, strengthens my faith and helps me put my trust in them.

This truth is eternal, and this truth is important.
June 3, 2021
The Trinity

I’m not going to cite a bunch of scriptures supporting my point. In my experience that does nothing because individual scriptures can be interpreted in a million different ways. Any scripture I give that seems clear as day to me to show God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three distinct personages is quickly explained away and followed up with another scripture that someone believes shows they are one being.

Instead of trying to convince anyone of this doctrine, I more want to give my thoughts on it. I also want to briefly discuss the importance of this doctrine and why I believe it has been so adamantly fought over throughout the centuries.

First, the “they are one” controversy with the many scriptural references is so easy for me to understand. They are one in intent and purpose, so they are one. Christ, when praying to His Father said, “let them be one, Father, as you and I are one.” (John 17:21-23) Why would Christ say this? Given the doctrine of the trinity, was Christ praying that his apostles would morph together into one super spiritual being? No, it doesn’t make sense. What Christ was praying for was literal. “Let them be one, as you and I are one” – in intent, purpose.

Second, what sense does a unified being make? I know we are human, and we don’t understand much of anything about the true nature of Heaven, of eternity, of what is next. I have faith in a lot, but I understand little. Maybe the next life is filled with multiple personality Gods and beings that I’m meant to worship. Maybe God can split into three personages. Maybe He did this to make us understand some deep, important principle. Maybe? Or maybe every person who counseled over this principle (the famous Nicene Creed) and ultimately came to a decision we follow hundreds of years later didn’t understand. God isn’t setting out to confuse us. He doesn’t want us to NOT comprehend Him. He wants us to know how much He loves us. He wants us to know He SENT His only begotten son, who also loves us. He wants us to know the Holy Spirit can be a constant companion to us. He doesn’t want to confuse us. He isn’t throwing out stumbling blocks all along the way to make things more difficult. This life isn’t intended to be a maze of confusion that we may be lucky to determine what God wants us to know. He wants us to seek Him and to seek truth. He WANTS us to understand. God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are three separate, distinct beings. I don’t know this (yet), but I have faith and hope that it’s true.

Joseph Smith saw them. That’s why that moment was so significant. They didn’t speak to Him from the clouds. They appeared in their bodies. To show him, “you are like us, and we are like you.” They have bodies of flesh and blood. Christ really came here, His Father’s Son, to attain a body and die for us. That principle is pure and beautiful.

Have you ever wondered why Christ ate fish and bread with the apostles after his resurrection? Why was that account included in the scriptures? The scriptures are full of important information, obviously. Why was this seemingly unimportant detail included? Not because Christ was trying to make His apostles comfortable. It was included because it was important. Christ was showing that He had a body. Just as we, when we are resurrected, will be resurrected with our bodies.

This brings me to the third point, exactly why this doctrine was fought so hard against for all of history. Satan is cunning. Satan knows what is and isn’t important to our salvation. With the fervor and aggression Satan has fought this doctrine with, it seems obvious to me how important it is. This doctrine is so important because the corruption of it distances us from our Heavenly Father. That is Satan’s great purpose. What greater way to distance us from our Father than corrupting His image into some unknowable, un-understandable, un-comprehendible being? It is the opposite of what God is. He knows us, He understands us, He comprehends us, and he wants us to understand Him. This bizarre trinity He’s been morphed into makes it so hard to communicate with Him. How do you communicate a triple being you can’t imagine? Not the same, personal way you can communicate with your own father. Not the way your loving Heavenly Father wants you to communicate with Him. A father that sent His only begotten Son to save the rest of His spirit children.

I wish I could be more eloquent on this topic. Of all topics I wish I had a poet’s or philosopher’s eloquence for, this is it. Because it’s important. But I’m not a poet or a philosopher. My words fall short of what I want to portray. I wish so much that everyone could know Heavenly Father the way I feel and know Him. He and Christ are so important to me. Combining them in one takes away one of the most important persons in my life.

This truth is eternal, and this truth is important.

To learn more about the truth of the Godhead, visit here:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/article/do-members-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-believe-in-the-trinity

May 21, 2021
Korean Children’s Choir

When I was watching General Conference and the Korean children’s choir started singing “I Love to see the Temple” in a language I did not understand, something amazing hit me.

I don’t know why this thought was spurred by this song from these children.

That feeling was this-

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ.

How blessed I am to not only be on this earth at a time when His church exists, but to be a member of that Church. Jesus Christ’s Church. His Church!

As I listened to words I didn’t understand but music I could never misplace, and as the spirit filled me and tears filled my eyes, I realized something.

If I lived during a time when the Church of Jesus Christ did not exist on the earth, I would have forever lived my mortal existence with a hole in my spirit and my experience. It occurred to me that if I lived in any other dispensation, I would have felt a distinct emptiness within me. Maybe this realization happened at that moment because at that particular moment, I was so filled to the brim with a spiritual feeling that I’ve come to rely upon so heavily.

What a challenge it would have been to live in a world without the Gospel of Jesus Christ in its fullness.

We live in a difficult and challenging world. But amidst that challenge I am a 30-minute drive from 3 different temples.

How blessed I am.

I am so grateful to live today, with the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ fully present, and His Church in full force.

What would I have done without it?

Maybe God knew I could not endure that emptiness. Maybe that’s why I’m here at this moment.

For whatever reason I am here now, today, I am grateful for it. Grateful beyond measure.

April 22, 2021
Rameumptom

It’s amazing to read the Book of Mormon and compare those people to our day. One story from the Book of Mormon that recently stood out to me was the story of the Zoramites and the rameumptom.

The Zoramites were a people who corrupted religion in many ways. They built a large tower. This tower was called a rameumptom and it was used for prayer. People would go to the top of the tower and loudly proclaim a rehearsed prayer. In the prayer they would thank God that He chose them. They would thank God that He had enlightened them and saved them while He would damn all the others to hell for their false beliefs. They would say their prayer, leave the tower, and go about their week without another thought towards God. They would use their week to serve no one but themselves.

Let’s compare the many false beliefs of the Zoramites to our society today.

First, praying on the rameumptom. What good deed is done today without proclaiming it to the world? We’re all guilty of it. Social media is our modern day rameumptom. It is where we proudly shout our greatest deeds for the world to see. Prayer and good deeds should be done in private. Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth.

Second, the Zoramites had a temple that only the rich were able to go to. Churches today have become much more about prestige and power than about humility and kindness.

Third, rehearsed prayer. The Zoramites used a rehearsed, scripted prayer to talk to God. There are many problems with this. It takes any effort from the procedure. The prayer has no thought or feeling to it, it’s like reading in class. There’s no genuine questions, no genuine requests, no genuine gratitude. It is a script. We see this in many churches today.

Fourth, prayer without action. This is a byproduct of rehearsed prayer. What does prayer without effort lead to? Life without effort. The Zoramites loudly spoke their prayers from their tower, stepped down, and that was the extent of their worship. They wouldn’t speak to God again until the next week when they would give their five minute rehearsed prayer and move on with their life. This is the worship of our society today. With all God has given us we can’t even give Him a day of worship in return. Most don’t go to church at all. Many who do go, go on Sunday, listen for an hour, and the rest of the week don’t do a selfless act. Christ was our example. He taught us to pray always, serve others, and love others. If we aren’t doing that, we aren’t of Him, no matter how loud our prayer.

Fifth, the Zoramites thanked God that they were chosen by Him. They thanked Him for enlightening them and turning them away from the foolish traditions of their fathers and neighbors. They were selected by God and would be saved. All others were fools who would burn in hell. Sound familiar? Many churches today believe you will only be saved if you follow their beliefs or belong to their church. What kind of selective God is this? It spits in the face of a loving, caring Heavenly Father who is no respecter of persons. This is a blasphemous and poisonous teaching that goes back to the pride and selective nature of churches. God loves all His children and will provide a way for all of them to attain as much glory as they desire. The doctrine of Jesus Christ taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that there are many mansions in heaven and God’s wonderful plan has provided a way for a vast majority, almost all of His children to go to Heaven. All that repent, follow His commandments, and believe in His Son will find a place worthy of their righteous hearts. This is truth.

I have a close friend of a different Christian faith. We have many good religious conversations. One day the topic of heaven came up. He told me that surely I didn’t believe he would go to heaven as he wasn’t a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my church. This made me so sad. I told him with complete sincerity and 100% certainty that I knew he was going to heaven. Whether he joined the Church (my church) or not, I knew he was a good person. I knew he loved Jesus Christ. I knew he tried every day to seek Christ and to do good. I knew he sought God with all his heart. I knew he was kind and liked to help people. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that there is a place in heaven for him. I know this because I know God. I know he loves all of us. I told this to my friend, and I’ll never forget the look on his face. A little shock, a little awe. I know that he believes I am going to hell, he has told me so. He believes I have been fooled and I will have to pay for my ignorance.

I know that God loves him, and I know that God loves me. I know that Jesus Christ is the perfect judge. We will be judged perfectly. Even those who are fooled will be given mercy and love from God. That’s the God I know. I feel sad for those who don’t know that same God.

False teachings have corrupted and destroyed religion. False teachings have turned many away from the truth and light that religion should provide.

I have an invitation to anyone who read this and thought “I do hate how churches say everyone who doesn’t do this or that is going to hell,” or “I’ve never understood rehearsed prayers,” or “I can’t stand the hypocritical church goers who are the meanest people during the week.” My invitation is to come and see. Come and learn of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Come and learn what Christ intended for us. Come and learn true principles and ordinances of Christ’s gospel. Come serve with us, come worship with us, come pray with us, come be with us. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not perfect, not yet. Not until Christ returns. We can still be hypocrites but we’re trying. Christ’s Gospel is perfect and we’re working toward it. Come and see.

January 14, 2021