Surprisingly I haven’t written about the Chosen yet.
I’m about to finish season 3. I think this is an important TV show.
In this season, there is a moment when Mary is talking to Tamar, a woman from Ethiopia.
Mary voices jealousy towards Tamar for seemingly being able to push her way into the group without any hardships. Mary points out that she needed demons cast from her and to be pulled drunk from a tavern to get to her current place with Jesus. Mary seems to think Tamar is lacking humility due to her lack of trials.
It was at this point that Tamar said something that jumped out at me while I watched:
“Jesus forgave you, but you choose to hold on to it.”
An episode later we get a look into Matthew’s past. Matthew is my favorite character.
We see a flashback to when an old man came to Matthew during Matthew’s time as a tax collector. The man brazenly admits to legally accumulating tons of debt in an effort to help his children. The man will be sentenced to a prison camp because he’ll never be able to pay back the debt. He doesn’t care; he is an old man.
The man then gives Matthew some prayer tassels. They are seemingly worthless, but the meaning of the old prayer tassels was significant to the old man. To him, those tattered tassels were priceless.
The man gives them as a gift to Matthew telling him that one day he may regain his faith and need them. Matthew insists that he will never need those prayer tassels. The man insists.
Matthew held onto those tassels and Mary found them.
When Mary asked about them, Matthew told her the story. He didn’t understand why the man gave this sentimental item to him. Mary explained that the old man wasn’t giving some prayer tassels to Matthew, he was giving his faith to Matthew.
Matthew’s response:
“Why would he do that for someone like me?”
Mary then told a story about a time she was going to kill herself. The only thing that stopped her was a dove. She saw it in the distance and took it as a sign that she shouldn’t do what she was considering.
She told Matthew that man who gave away his prayer tassels was Matthew’s dove.
These scenes from this powerful show gave me a lot to ponder.
I often feel like Mary and Matthew.
“Jesus forgave you, but you choose to hold onto it.”
“Why would he do that for someone like me?”
I pondered on whether I’m holding onto anything. Are you?
The second question is a question I ask myself often. Why would God do this for someone like me? Why did Christ suffer, for me?
Are we too hard on ourselves?
I think back on some of my doves.
Sometimes I think I’m like Mary, holding onto guilt that Christ no longer wants me to hold. That said, I have an interesting relationship with my guilt. I don’t dwell on it. I think a lot of it has left me. Still, sometimes I think I feel unworthy.
We all hold onto things we should let go, becuase Christ already forgave us.
We are surrounded by doves, those people that see our potential. We can always be the dove to someone else when they feel like they’re coming up short.
We all feel unworthy sometimes, even though those around us see our potential. And God always sees our potential.
No Coincidences 