During a guided meditation I was asked to picture a time when I felt safe.
Interestingly, as I was asked to picture a time that I felt safe, the first image that came to mind was after my ATV accident. I saw the image of me in that ATV with my brother holding down on the back of my head. That’s the image that came to me of a time when I felt safe.
I’ve thought about that since. Why was that the first image to come to mind? Was it because it was a moment I felt the opposite of safe? As I’ve pondered this question, I don’t think that’s the reason. I think that image came to mind because it really was a moment that I felt safe. I think it’s the most powerful moment in my life where I knew whose hands I was in. It was the most vulnerable and helpless I’d felt since I was a young boy, and yet I felt safe. I was reminded whose I am and who watches over me. And I knew, whatever happened, I was safe.
How do you value the Gospel of Jesus Christ? What’s it really worth? What’s it really worth knowing who you are, where you come from, why you’re here, where you’re going, and who your Father is? What’s that worth? It’s worth everything.
I listened to a self-love, guided meditation this morning. I was guided to picture myself as a young boy. The prompt was to say comforting words to that young boy. May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. Each of these was followed with the guidance to remember a time I felt those things. “Remember a time you felt safe.”
As I pictured that young boy in my mind, using old pictures and old family home videos to conjure up what I looked like, a deep emotion came over me. I started to cry.
As I picture that young boy, and as I picture myself today, I see my father, my dad. What pressures did he feel raising 6 kids, working, going to school, and trying to keep it all together?
I worry. I fear. I doubt. I pray daily that I can have patience and comfort in God’s plan. I am so blessed. Being blessed doesn’t always make this life easy. This life is challenging. It’s meant to be.
I don’t think we talk often enough about the pressures of fatherhood. There are now two lives that completely depend on me for everything: Food, water, home, toys. (Of course, Beth is here too and I in no way mean to take away from motherhood).
I have a family that relies on me to provide. There is a level of pressure that comes along with this that isn’t discussed often enough.
I love this video:
It perfectly captures fatherhood.
I feel happy, safe, healthy, and loved because of what a Father (God) has always provided for me, and for much of my life a father has provided for me.
I know we should be able to talk about it, the pressures, but dads don’t. We walk around with a burden and a pressure. It sometimes feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Little lives depend on us. We work, trying to provide a life for our children. We come home and we continue to work. We are horses, we are friends, we are disciplinarians, we are a lot.
If you have a father in your life that seems like he has it all together, if you see a father around you that seems stressed, if you interact with a father that seems angry, if you have a father in your life that seems frustrated, if you see a father that seems like he’s carrying a heavy burden that he can’t share with anyone: he probably is. Hug that man. Fathers need more hugs. Not hugs of pity but hugs of sympathy, hugs of appreciation, hugs of understanding. Understanding that this world is stressful. This life is hard. This life can be scary. And sometimes, as a father, you feel you’re the one battling back those realizations and experiences for your kids for as many moments as you possibly can. That is a difficult task. Because one day your children will learn what you have learned. That life can be hard and scary. You protect them from it as long as you can, but one day they will know.
As a father, knowing that day will one day come for your little, precious gifts can pull your heart, stretch it in a nearly painful way. And you can realize how your (Heavenly) Father feels, watching us grow in sometimes painful ways.
I know that fatherhood is important. I know that it’s hard. I know that it’s rewarding.
I know I have a Father that allows me these experiences so I can grow. I know I have a father here that did so much for me while I grew to my own realization that life is hard. I was sheltered for so long. And I owe that to loving parents here, and there.
No Coincidences 