No Coincidences

Author: Brayden Quackenbush

  • Ivy Goes Ministering

    Ivy Goes Ministering

    For those who don’t know, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an initiative we call “ministering.” The name has changed over the years, but it’s always been essentially the same thing. The concept is simple. Minister to one another, teach one another, visit with one other, check in on one another. Christ’s church should be a family and the ministering program is the way that the Church tries to keep its members connected, like a family should be connected.

    Ivy recently went with me on a ministering visit. This wasn’t Ivy’s first rodeo. She’s done her fair share of ministering in her years on this earth. What was interesting about this ministering visit was what happened after.

    One Saturday Ivy and I joined the missionaries meeting with a new friend of the church. He was on his way towards baptism. This was my first time meeting him. This person went on to get baptized and has since become a very good friend. So this was a significant visit with the missionaries.

    Afterward, Ivy and I dropped by a family’s home to say hi. I had never met this family. They didn’t know who I was. This was a true “cold” drop-in. They had two young boys under the age of ten and a brand-new baby girl.

    I knocked at the door and heard the normal shuffle going on behind it. The door was opened by two shirtless boys.

    “Hi, my name is Brayden, is your mom or dad home?”

    The younger one ran off yelling, “Dad!”

    The father came to the door, and I introduced myself. I then introduced Ivy to the two boys. We small-talked for a couple minutes, invited them to church, and that was it.

    On the way back to the car Ivy was, as is normal, full of questions.

    Why did we visit them?

    • Because they’re in our church and we want to check on them.

    That home was their church?

    • No, that was their home. But they go to our church, and we just invited them.

    When will they come to our church?

    • Hopefully tomorrow.

    On and on. Anyone who has been around a toddler knows what I’m talking about.

    The next day we went to church and Ivy was very disappointed when her new friends weren’t there.

    After church, we were preparing for our Sunday afternoon nap. As consistent as Ivy’s numerous questions is her desire to avoid a nap. She was giving us her normal fight before lying down.

    I finally said, “Ivy, you’ve been so good today, if you go take a good nap, when you wake up, we can do whatever you want.”

    I immediately worried about this open-ended promise I had given. What would she request? Surely her most common requests: a trip to Six Flags or Las Vegas.

    Ivy shocked me with her reply. After her nap, the thing she wanted to do more than anything – go see her new friends.

    I’ve thought a lot about this.

    What was it about that visit that made Ivy’s day?

    You know what I think. I think her little, pure spirit realized she just got to do something special. And she wanted to do it again.

    She wanted more than anything in the world, whether she fully realized it or not – more than a trip to Las Vegas to see family or a fun-filled trip to Six Flags – more than either of those things, she wanted to go ministering. Ivy’s spirit knew the importance of ministering.

    Sometimes I wish we adults could remember the purity of that desire – to minister to one another, teach one another, visit with one another, check in on one another, love one another.

    I saw in Ivy what we all seem to forget. Supporting those around us – ministering – is more important than anything. Even a trip to Six Flags.

  • Will Hitler be Forgiven?

    Will Hitler be Forgiven?

    Before I share this, I will state the obvious. Hitler the man did heinous, horrible acts. He caused as much pain and heartache as any soul ever has on this earth. In writing this silly thought experiment I in no way intend to make light of the horrible choices of others. I believe I will have a hard time forgiving some of the acts I see during life reviews at the great judgment. Forgiveness, thankfully, won’t be for me to decide. I don’t know who will be forgiven for what. I know some will need to ask for forgiveness and likely won’t. I know some will receive forgiveness that we can’t comprehend. I trust in God. Now onto my silly post. Please don’t take the main character too seriously.

    I had a thought while I was in the shower, and it stemmed from this question – will Hitler be forgiven? The mere mention of the idea is enough to get me canceled. 

    The beauty of the plan of salvation and something only the Church of Jesus Christ proposes an answer to, is that God will save all His children and how that could be accomplished.

    The thought I had in answer to this question was – maybe Hitler will be forgiven, only God knows. If someone like Hitler could be forgiven, what change would need to take place in a soul like that for that to happen?

    We see momentous changes in mortality. We can see transformations over small courses of time. Think of someone you’ve seen change over the course of 5, 10, or 50 years. A lot of changes can happen to a spirit over the course of 50 years. Now imagine 1000, 5000, and 10,000 years. How about 3 billion years? Those numbers are hard to imagine. What amount of change could happen in a millennium? A lot, I imagine.

    On the other hand, that amount of time can also show the great weaknesses of a character. A lot of change can happen in a billion years and if there are any flaws in character, cracks become gulfs. Eternity is a long time so luckily we have a long time to change. But if we aren’t working toward perfection, our flaws will grow.

    I have read comments in near-death experiences about the malleability of the soul during mortality compared to after death. I’ve read analogies that compare the soul while here on earth to wet cement while the soul post-death being like settled cement. I believe that’s what makes mortality so critical. Our lack of knowledge and need for faith one way or the other, in a way I don’t understand, allows us to change in ways not possible once this life is over.

    The beauty of the plan of salvation is that God will save all His children that want to be saved. That’s the critical part. The desire to be saved. That’s also something becoming increasingly scarce in our society, the ability to forgive.

    Christ and God will know and understand all, and they will be forgiving beyond all measure.

    Which leads to the question, if we’re going to use Hitler as our abstract understanding of evil: will Hitler want to be saved? Will Hitler want to stand before God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, the one who had to suffer for Hitler’s sins, who had to suffer for all the pain Hitler caused? Will Hitler want to stand before Jesus Christ? Will he have the humility to seek that forgiveness? If the evils of Satan touched his heart and soul as deeply as they seemed to – desire for power, hate, etc., will Hitler want to stand before them?

    Will Satan want to be forgiven? No. He won’t. Envy, evil, and hatred have poisoned his once angelic soul (Isaiah 14:12).

    No one can be forgiven if they willingly continue to deny Christ and ”crucify” Him anew.

    Will Hitler have the humility to bow before Christ and beg His forgiveness?

    I can’t imagine that level of change. It’s hard for me to picture that from someone who did such horrible things and strayed so far from the light. That is millenniums of change which is change my mind can’t fathom.

    What I also can’t imagine is how I can ever be made perfect. Me, with all my flaws, judgements, unkindnesses, shortcomings, deceits, greed, and selfishness. How can I be made perfect? I believe it will take a long time.

    Maybe Hitler will change and be forgiven for his sins. I believe if that’s possible it will take time.

    If we love the gospel plan and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s ability to forgive us for our mistakes, we have to accept that they will forgive others too.

    The gospel plan is beautiful. For one and all.

    None of us deserve the redeeming love and a sacrifice willingly given of a God. Jesus Christ, spit upon and bleeding, shed his mortal blood and gave up his immortal spirit so we can live again. I am grateful for what He did for me and I recognize every day that I don’t deserve it. It makes me love Him all the more.

    Forgiveness isn’t something that should be taken lightly. It is serious.

    But when I stand before Him, and I humbly kneel, I believe He will forgive me. And for that moment, I’ll give anything.

  • Craftiness of the Devil

    Sometimes I marvel at how sneaky that doggon devil is.

    One example is how kids are bombarded by inappropriate images. The most childish of cell phone games are interrupted by scantily clad cartoon (or real) women. It’s the craziest thing.

    Another example occurred to me recently.

    When I try to search for the rating of a movie, it often takes me 4 or 5 searches to find out if it’s R, PG-13, etc. I always get the Rotten Tomatoes rating!

    This, of course, is the product of a bigger issue. That issue is all the garbage that exists in the media.

    The LDS church has a cultural policy that I’m not interested in looking into the history of. That “policy” for lack of a better word (“suggestion” or “guidance” may be better words), is to not watch Rated R movies.

    Growing up, I HATED this rule, and pretty immediately rebelled against it. It may have been the first LDS thing I rebelled against, actually. Remember, I’m the kid who dumped out my mom’s Coke because it had caffeine and was against the Word of Wisdom, or so I thought. I’ve been watching Rated R movies for as long as I can remember. I distinctly remember watching Chucky Halloween night when I was under 8 years old. It was made for TV, but still not meant for a 6-year-old.

    That is where my point is leading. Made for TV murderous doll OK because it’s TV-MA?

    For as long as I live I will never forget the movie I watched that made me decide I was done with Rated R movies. That movie was The Hateful Eight. I will say no more about that. Luckily for me, Beth came to a similar conclusion from her own movie. Her movie was Hereditary. We concluded around the same time that we were done with rated R movies for very different and yet oddly similar reasons.

    They made us feel icky.

    That’s what I remember about the Hateful Eight. I finish all movies I watch. I treat movies the same way I treat books. If you start it, you finish it. I was watching Hateful Eight when Beth came over (before we were married). I finished this scene. I left with Beth for whatever we had planned. I remember not being able to get this grotesque, gross, vile stuff out of my mind. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt dark. I felt dirty. I finally asked myself, why am I doing this to myself? I don’t have to finish the movie. I didn’t finish the movie. It was the last rated R movie I “watched.” That was 2017 or 2018.

    Has it been easy cutting out rated R movies? Nope (some of you will get that reference). There are inevitably movies I want to see sooo bad, but they’re rated R. This has led to discussions with friends. I’ll hear things like, “Well it only swears this many times and the violence and sex isn’t that bad.” My thinking is, you draw a line and you stick to it. End of story. But by the way, pretty much every movie is rated R. So this change has led to basically watching 95% less movies. A fortunate side effect.

    If you doubt that, check movies in theatres right now. You might find a couple that aren’t rated R. They’re either cartoons or Marvel, and even that is changing.

    So here’s my even bigger point about the craftiness of the devil.

    That guidance to not watch rated R movies was never about rated R movies. It was about what we consume and let enter our minds. I’ll never get that image from Hateful Eight out of my mind, but it taught me something, and it made me grow. It made me learn what I do and don’t want to enter in through the light of my body (Matthew 6:22-23).

    So you cut out rated R movies. But what about TV MA? What about murder dramas? What about all this media out there? Where do you draw the line? I’ve started cutting out TV shows mid-season. Remember, me, the person who tries to finish whatever I start. I was really into (a stupid show) Love Craft County. Then it got bizarre and disgusting. I stopped. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones. My favorite show ever is Breaking Bad. How do we figure it out?

    My point is, you can’t even search and find out if a movie is rated R anymore. The devil is crafty. We consume more and more trash more and more often. I say this as someone who also consumes trash.

    And what’s happening around us? You look up and your 13-year-old brother has seen something like 150,000 violent acts depicted in media. How crazy is that? Is that OK? Do we really have to wonder about depression and all this crap kids are dealing with? It’s insane.

    The devil is crafty. He blurs the line everywhere we turn. It’s so much harder to protect ourselves. He never stops working.

    I don’t know how to conclude this so I’ll just say, I took a step by cutting out rated R movies. I’ve been happy with that decision, even though I’ve probably had to miss out on some good movies. I think I’m better for it though.

    *Posting this years after writing it and on one hand I’m proud of my continued commitment to avoid rated R movies. On the other hand, I’m disappointed with my continued viewing of TV-MA material. But I’m also proud of the overall amount of television I’ve cut out of my life. There’s just not enough time to watch TV anymore.

    So I’m proud and I’m disappointed. But that’s life. God knows our efforts and He knows I’m trying. I’m not meant to be perfect in this life, though I’ll try, and fail. That’s why I’m grateful for Jesus Christ.

    The devil seeks us. We need to be hyper-vigilant to make sure we stay on the side we want to be on. Every day is a battle.

  • Impactful Moments

    Impactful Moments

    In Gravity of God, I wrote about how God is the center of our universe and how His faith and His action holds it all together. I discussed how us being here is an opportunity for us to test how we will use our faith and actions to influence and impact people.

    Will we have a God-like influence of love, help, support, giving, charity, and selflessness to those around us? Or will we use our influence to be more in Satan’s camp of selfishness, hate, judgment, pride, and animosity?

    Our actions matter. We’re here to see how we’ll use the talents and gifts we’ve been given.

    Some moments carry more weight than others.

    I believe everyone we interact with in this life is meant to teach us something. Do you consider the interactions you have to be significant? Do you believe the things that happen to you have meaning? How about the things you do to others?

    I believe when someone is unkind to me here for any reason – they’re here to teach me something.

    I believe when someone does something I disagree with – they’re here to teach me something.

    I believe when someone is kind to me or a good example to me – they’re here to teach me something.

    All these moments matter, and some moments have lasting importance.

    There are so many mundane and average moments in a day. I’m talking about the, “How are you today?” “Good.” “Good.”

    Then there are conversations that change our worldviews, make us think, or expand our horizons. There are some conversations that make us think about eternity. There are some conversations that prepare us for eternity.

    I’ve been given so much in this life.

    I know where I come from, why I’m here, and where I’m going, while so many around me don’t have these answers. Part of the reason I think I’m here and why I’ve been given so much is so that I can share it with others. If everyone around me is asking the important question – why am I here? And I know the answer, and I’m not sharing it with them, then I’m the most selfish person there is.

    Why do you think I put the time and effort into writing this? One day I want to tell God I tried my best to share what He gave me.

    Anyways.

    There is one topic that can be brought up in any conversation and will immediately change the moment from mundane and borderline meaningless to extraordinarily impactful and important. That topic is God.

    I was at a bachelor party once. We went to Palm Springs for a long weekend. Got a house. Played a lot of pool and video games. The rest of the party played golf. I found ways to fill my time while they played golf.

    There were two conversations I had that weekend that were memorable and impactful.

    While playing pool one night, somehow religion got brought up. I’m sure I helped us into that direction one way or another. Me and another guy in the group who I didn’t know very well started talking about eternity, church, and the gospel.

    That conversation was years ago. And seemingly nothing came about from it. But I still remember what that guy said at one point. He said, “When God gets brough up, the conversation changes. It becomes real. Even if it’s slightly or fully contentious, it’s still good if God is in the conversation.”

    He was so right, and it’s the reason I’m writing this.

    He probably doesn’t consciously remember that conversation. But I believe his spirit does. I really believe we keep a record of all we hear, see, and learn here on earth. And one day he’ll see that moment again and I hope it was as impactful as it felt.

    The other conversation that happened was on the drive back. I was in the car with the groom to be and a friend.

    We were talking about the upcoming wedding and what that meant, the topic of marriage, fidelity, vows, our bodies, drinking, habits, and growth were discussed. I know those topics sound wide-ranging. It was a long drive.

    I came out of that conversation feeling like we’d talked about something so important.

    Every mundane conversation is exactly that, mundane, until God is brought up.

    Have more meaningful conversations.

  • Doctrine vs. Practice

    Doctrine vs. Practice

    I want to go over something I’ve always had a hard time understanding. 

    What is a doctrine? What are the core doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? What is the difference between a doctrine and a practice?

    Doctrines and practices are much different, though they often get confused.

    The simplest way I learned to differentiate a doctrine from a practice is this simple rule: A doctrine is eternal, it never changes. Practices can be changed.

    According to the First Presidency, there are three guidelines to follow when determining if something is a doctrine or just a practice:

    1. Doctrine is eternal, never changing.
    2. The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve is unified on a doctrinal subject.
    3. Doctrines are salvific, it is pertinent to our salvation.

    It’s important to remember that these criteria don’t necessarily confirm something is doctrine. Just because the 15 members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve are unified on the subject DOES NOT necessarily make it a doctrine.

    Let’s look at a couple examples.

    The sacrament that we take each week is a practice. It has changed in multiple ways over time, throughout history. For example, it used to be the practice of the church to use wine for the sacrament. We now use water. This is just one example of how the sacrament has changed over time.

    The doctrine associated with the sacrament would be the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is eternal and never changing. It is a doctrine. 

    Priesthood is a doctrine but who holds it is a practice. The priesthood itself is eternal. It is God’s power on the earth. In 2018 we saw a change in who can hold the priesthood when the required age changed from 12 years to 11 years. Another example is when the sons of Aaron were the only holders of the priesthood before it was opened up to the Gentiles in this dispensation. This makes who holds the priesthood a principle.

    I know what you’re thinking. Does that mean women can/should/will one day hold the priesthood independent of any man? I don’t know. I won’t delve into that anymore at this time. I will just say, it will take a revelation from God for that to happen.

    In conclusion, I would like to share the 9 basic doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ. These doctrines are:

    9 core doctrines:

    1. Godhead
    2. Plan of Salvation
    3. Atonement of Jesus Christ
    4. Dispensation, Apostasy, and Restoration
    5. Prophets and Revelation
    6. Priesthood and Priesthood Keys
    7. Ordinances and Covenants
    8. Marriage and Family
    9. Commandments