No Coincidences

Category: Family

  • Laura

    Laura

    Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away.  Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met.  She had a profound impact on my life.

    I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.

    Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger.  As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer.  When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand.  When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand.  What was so scary?  She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever.  I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride.  I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”

    It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years.  She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28.  She wasn’t expected to live too long.  It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now.  Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live.  I feel invincible every day.  Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule).  The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.

    Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness.  She lived every moment to its fullest.  She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served.  She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.

    When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read.  She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies?  Not going to happen.  I’ll share a story I told at her funeral. 

    It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah.  I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days.  See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life.  Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class.  I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity.  After the class we were able to go up the mountain.  Remember, this is my first time ever on skis.  We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares.  I don’t know what it all means.  Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest.  We’re heading towards a Black Diamond.  I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.

    Garrick and Laura skiing

    I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine.  So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds.  How could I possibly argue?  Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.

    We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go.  I was up and down constantly.  I was spending more time on my back than on my skis.  I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control.  Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency.  Left to right… left to right… slow and steady.  She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain. 

    When we finished, I was exhilarated.  It was the most fun I’d ever had.  I loved the mountain.  We were driving home and I called my mom.  I excitedly told her about the day.  When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!”  Moofy was Laura’s nickname.  I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered.  I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house.  Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling.  In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.

    I learned something that day that I’ll never forget.  Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering.  She was steadfast until the end.  She was always an example of strength and perseverance.  They were qualities I admired in her.  The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down.  She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew.  No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds.  I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end.  She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall.  What did I have to worry about?

    That is one of my fondest memories.  Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me.  It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven.  I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father.  But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me.  When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side.  I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here. 

    Love you, Aunt Laura.

    Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.

  • Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Last Night I let the Party get the best of me (No Sleep)

    Remember last week when I wrote about The greatest moment of my life every day? Yeah, well here’s the dark side of that smile.

    There’s a serious question/joke every new parent has heard at least 100 times.  Are you getting any sleep?

    Why are we asked this question?

    Because it’s a REAL concern.

    Ivy trying to eat my hand when she should be sleeping

    So, for all those wondering, how has our sleep been?  I wrote about the First 48 Hours.  How have the first five months gone? In a blur would be one way to answer.

    I could go on for a while about sleep training and how much work and effort Beth has put in.  This isn’t a mommy blog so I won’t go into all the detail.  I will say Beth has done an awesome job helping Ivy to sleep.  She usually puts her down between 7pm-8pm.  Ivy will sleep until 6:30am-7:00am with at least one wake-up in the middle of the night.  Some of these wakeups just take putting the pacifier back in her mouth.  Sometimes it’s an hour feeding her a bottle and helping her back to sleep.

    Physically restraining a stubborn baby

    Before I provide my spiritual thought on this, I will stress two points:

    1. Ivy is pretty good overall with her sleeping.  We are blessed.  Beth reminds me of this.  While I have no frame of reference, Beth is in touch with all the mommy’s of the world and knows that babies don’t always sleep the way Ivy does.
    2. Beth does the heavy lifting most nights as I work in the morning.

    As I proceed with my thoughts on getting sleep with a newborn, please refer back to points 1 and 2 often.  Every time you’re thinking, “well Beth is doing all the work, of course you (enter your feelings about my thoughts)…” or “of course it’s not that bad, not all babies sleep like yours has!”  Please refer back to those points.  I am aware of how blessed we’ve been in point one, and I’ve been in point two.

    That said.  My thoughts.

    It hasn’t been that bad.  There.  I said it.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD.  I’ll say this, I think lack of sleep isn’t as bad as interrupted sleep.  There’s something about having to get up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, even if it’s quick and you can go back to sleep.  That’s what made the first couple months so difficult. 

    I recently heard another father describe the newborn sleeping phase as something like advanced sleep deprivation training for the military.  As he said that, I thought, “huh, I don’t think it was THAT bad” (see point 1!).

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth, I made some big changes to everyday habits of mine.  For one, I’ve cut out sugary drinks completely.  For those who know me, that included Hawaiian Punch or soda with lunch and dinner.  That’s A LOT of sugar.  I cut out the juice and soda about 18 months ago.

    Leading up to Ivy’s birth I read a book that led to two other changes.  I started doing a breathing exercise once or twice a day.  According to this book it’s the single most important thing anyone could do to immediately improve their health.  The other thing this book prompted me to start doing was change my breakfast habits.  I’ve always had breakfast every day no matter what. My breakfast every morning is usually cereal and milk.  My cereal is most often not of the healthy variety.  Berry Colossal Crunch (Cap’n Crunch knockoff) and Cinnamon Toasters (Cinnamon Toast Crunch knockoff) are still in my kitchen from our last order before I changed this habit.  Instead of artificial sugar for breakfast, I’ve transitioned to fruit every morning.  Usually grapefruit and blueberries, apples, oranges, or bananas.

    For those keeping score, I’ve cut out Hawaiin Punch, soda, and cereal in the form of straight sugar.

    For those of you wondering if I still eat candy.  Emphatic YES.  Maybe one day this can be cut down in my life.  We’re not there yet.

    As I pondered on the past 5 months, and the difficulty, something occurred to me.  Like I said above, I don’t think it’s been that bad.  Difficult, not debilitating.  As I thought about this, I thought about a scripture.

    Mosiah 24:14-15 reads:

    And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

    And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

    I think this is the most I’ve ever related to this scripture.  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like for burdens to be made light.  The lack of sleep should be killing me.  I have to be on-call every few weeks for work.  A call at 3 in the morning that would take 2 minutes used to infuriate me.  It would ruin my night and the whole next day.  Now a 3am-4am feeding session is a pretty regular occurrence.

    What explains that I haven’t gone into a fit of rage?  For one, I love Ivy passionately. That helps.  But I can’t help but feel like my burdens have been made light.  Heavenly Father knows my prayers have picked up, needing this assistance.

    I’ve wondered how the change in my eating habits has helped my energy.  Does God miraculously give us more energy and uplift us?  He can, of course.  I believe more often He would like to help us by allowing us to help ourselves.  I believe these new habits were inspired and I was guided to them.  I believe it has lightened my burdens, and God continues to lighten my burdens.

    I’m still working on the cheerfully and patient parts.  That I could always improve on.  But I am grateful for God and His help these first few months.  I’ve felt His presence and assistance every day.

    In the end, all the lack of sleep in the world is worth that smile.

  • The greatest moment of my life every day

    The greatest moment of my life every day

    The greatest moment of my life happens every morning.  By that I mean, almost every day I have a new moment that is the new best moment of my entire life.  It’s awesome. 

    I start work early every morning.  I’m already up and working (hopefully) when Ivy starts to wake up.  Beth has the monitor by the bed, so I can hear when Ivy starts to stir.

    When I see Ivy in the morning, her face is the most pure form of joy I’ve ever seen.  In turn, that brings me the most joy I’ve ever experienced.  Seeing her light up and grin ear to ear and be SO happy, it’s indescribable.

    I can imagine her thinking, “Oh, you’re still here!  This is amazing!  You’re still my dad!  I’m so glad to see you!”

    That’s what her smile says to me.

    This parenting thing is super hard.  It’s beyond exhausting (more to come on that in the next post).  There’s a lot of stress and pressure.  The life of a tiny human is in our hands, after all.

    But that moment where Ivy smiles at me in the morning, makes this, without question, the best experience of life.

  • Blessing Ivy

    Blessing Ivy

    I recently had the special opportunity to bless Ivy.  Leading up to the blessing, I did some research on the history of blessing children in the Church of Jesus Christ and its significance.  For Ivy’s blessing, Beth put together an event and a description of what a baby blessing is.  Here is that description:

    What is a baby blessing?

    In summary, the naming and blessing of children is a commandment of God. It is proper for a worthy father to name and bless his children. Blessing of children was done during the time of Christ, and it occurred in the early years of the restored Church. The ordinance has become a regular practice followed by Church members ever since.

    Who has the authority to bless a baby?

    A worthy priesthood holder under the direction of the local bishop. It is usually the father or a close family member.

    What is the priesthood?

    The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end. Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.”

    Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel.

    What is the format of a baby blessing?

    When blessing a baby, priesthood holders gather in a circle and place their hands under the baby. When blessing an older child, brethren place their hands lightly on the child’s head. The person who gives the blessing:

    1. Addresses Heavenly Father.

    2. States that the blessing is performed by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

    3. Gives the child a name.

    4. Gives words of blessing as the Spirit directs.

    5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Ivy and Aunt Cambria

    Reading up on the baby blessing beforehand taught me some interesting things about this sacred practice that I would like to share.

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1979/12/i-have-a-question/in-blessing-an-infant-should-both-the-naming-and-blessing-be-addressed-to-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng

    1. Unique to giving a blessing to an older child or adult, the naming and blessing of a child is directed to Heavenly Father like prayers are. 
      • This could be because the baby is too young to understand the words directed to him or her. 
    2. It appears that Melchizedek Priesthood holders are authorized to more than ask for a blessing but are able to pronounce a blessing upon the child directly, as the spirit directs.
      • See D&C 20:70
      • Sometimes inspiration (or confidence) to pronounce/give a blessing does not come.  In this case it is of course acceptable to ask Heavenly Father for these blessings.  I believe this is how I felt in giving Ivy her blessing.  It was enough to ask Heavenly Father to bless her with my requests.
    3. It is a commandment to name and bless infants.
      • See again D&C 20:70
      • It is important to remember the naming and blessing of children is not a saving ordinance.  It is still an important and sacred moment seen in heaven.
    4. “It is an awesome responsibility to be a priesthood agent of the Lord, to act in his behalf, and to approximate in one’s words and doings what the Lord would do if he were here.  A father, especially, who is to bless his child, has the delight and responsibility to prepare himself beforehand by pondering and by fasting and prayer, that he may be sensitive to the suggestions of the Spirit when giving the blessing.”
      • “How blessed we are to be able to present our little ones before the Lord, our families and the Church, and then consecrate them to the Lord.  How blessed we are to be able to name them, plead over, pray for, and, yes, to bless them directly and personally in harmony with our finest desires for them, by the authorization and wisdom of heaven.”

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/12/i-have-a-question/why-is-the-naming-and-blessing-of-a-child-important?lang=eng

    1. An interesting account from Joseph Smith on March 13, 1843 says, “Twenty-seven children were blessed, nineteen of whom I blessed myself, with great fervency.  Virtue went out of me, and my strength left me…”
      • “[The next day] Elder Jedediah M. Grant enquired of me the cause of my turning pale and losing strength last night while blessing children.  I told him that I saw that Lucifer would exert his influence to destroy the children that I was blessing, and I strove with all the faith and spirit that I had to seal upon them a blessing that would secure their lives upon the earth; and so much virtue went out of me into the children, that I became weak, from which I have not yet recovered; and I referred to the case of the woman touching the hem of the garment of Jesus. (Luke 8).” (History of the Church, 5:303.)
      • Elder John Taylor said the Savior’s example of blessing children “should be studiously complied with without hesitancy or objection” (by priesthood holders).
      • We see that Joseph Smith followed the example of the Savior who blessed children in both Israel and the American continent.  (Mark 10:14-16 and 3 Nephi 17).  What an amazing and marvelous thought:  our virtue can be passed to our children.  Our blessings are a force Satan must reckon with.  It makes me want to bless my daughter daily.  It also adds insight to a scripture that has always been a bit puzzling in Luke 8:46.  Virtue can literally leave us to help others.
    2. The new name:
      • A new name is often involved when a covenant relationship is formed.
      • When Adam and Eve were given dominion over the earth, Adam named all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20).
      • God blessed them and named Adam after giving him a body (Genesis 5:2).
      • When we get baptized we follow a similar pattern, taking upon us a new name, the name of Christ.
      • Temple covenants also involve the giving and receiving of names.
    3. The responsibility of blessing a child is bestowed, ideally, on he who helped create that child’s body, and who Heavenly Father entrusted His child with in mortality.
      • Joseph F. Smith – “The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity.  There is, then, a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and authority in the households of the people of God and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children.  In the home, the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount…This authority carries with it a responsibility, and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men cannot be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization.”

    It is my experience that giving blessings is often the closest I ever feel to Heavenly Father.  I can feel him speaking through me and it is always a powerful, emotional, and memorable experience.  The opportunity to bless my daughter will be one of the greatest moments of my life.  I have immense gratitude to my Heavenly Father for entrusting Ivy into my care, allowing me to name her, and trusting me to watch over and protect her in this life and through eternity.

  • Recovery Update

    Recovery Update

    Quick update on my recovery.  Nothing short of a miracle. The cover picture you’ve already seen is my head and arm today. It’s amazing. Read to the end to see the healing my head has gone through. Be warned, it is NOT pretty.

    There has been real fear that I would have a permanent divot in my head.  Like a mini crater.  It was a likelihood that I would have a permanent bald spot.  There were concerns about it healing and sealing up properly.  There were many concerns. 

    I never concerned myself with much of this.  It was something Beth and others would discuss.  For one, I’m old, married, with a kid anyways.  I always thought a bald spot would bother me.  Once you get old, who really cares.  Secondly, I didn’t concern myself with it because I knew it would work itself out.

    Where I used to fear touching because there was a hole and I didn’t want to fully know what was going on back there, is now just a scab.  Where we thought I might have a permanent crater and baldness, you can’t even tell there is an injury.  My hair has grown long and now it blends in with the scab that has filled in my head.

    There was some concern about how my arm might heal.  I briefly had thoughts about whether the healing skin would tighten up and restrict movement.  It’s my shooting shoulder!  I set aside those concerns.  It would heal or it wouldn’t.  I wish I had the poetic ability to properly describe how it has transformed.  From extremely painful, you’ve seen the pictures, to basically looking like a scratch.  As of right now, it looks like I got a mild sunburn.

    The third thing aside from my head and arm that was a concern was the helicopter bill.  Our initial bill was for $46,198.50. You can imagine this would cause some amount of stress.  I can say that Beth was pretty stressed about it.  I say this with little pride, I like to think she was positively affected by my calm outlook.  This is more due to our different demeanors than anything.  It’s something I’ve written about before.  Where Beth is pragmatic and planning, I like to think God will take care of it.  See The Chance of Faith for more on that.  God is likely more on Beth’s side.  But I was not worried.  We would have to pay it, or we wouldn’t.  Either way, God was watching.

    Despite my lack of worry and naïve, innocent belief that all would work out, I was still not looking forward to paying $46,000.  For that reason, it was quite a relief when, after Beth’s work with forms and paperwork, our bill was dramatically decreased.  I won’t give the exact amount, leave some intrigue, but I will say the decrease was ridiculous.

    What’s the moral of the story?

    I’m lucky?

    Yes, I am.

    I mentioned when I was on the ATV my brother gave me a priesthood blessing.  I asked him 3 days after the accident what he said in the blessing.  He replied that I was blessed that I would heal, and Beth wouldn’t lose me anytime soon. Again, my healing has been nothing short of miraculous.  Anyone who has seen my head progress over the past 6 weeks is blown away.  It’s unbelievable. 

    Am I lucky?

    Yes, I am.

    When I was 25 years old, I was ordained an Elder and given the Melchizedek Priesthood.  I was so excited I invited every person I knew to be there.  I was receiving the power and authority of God, to act in the name of Jesus Christ.  I could heal, bless, baptize, and give the gift of the holy ghost.  It was the most important moment in my life at that point.

    Here is my testimony.  The priesthood is the power and authority of God gifted to His children here on earth.  When my brother laid his hands on my head and blessed me with health, it wasn’t the average prayer.  The power that coursed from his hands to my bleeding head, the authority I myself had given him just months prior, that power literally healed me.  That blessing was in affect and ordained by God.  My brother worked hard to be worthy to bless me in that moment.  That blessing came from heaven.

    The priesthood authority is not mythical.  It is not imaginary.  It is a real power to act in God’s name.  When I was blessed on that ATV, I was healed.  I know it as sure as I am still breathing and typing this. 

    It’s a miracle how I’ve healed.  I couldn’t heal like this without divine authority.  I couldn’t heal like this unless God intended it to be.  I was blessed by his power and authority.  Why was I at peace throughout this process?  Because 3 days in I asked my brother what he blessed me with that day.  When he said, “you’ll heal,” I knew it would be.  There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. 

    I can’t thank my Heavenly Father enough for what he has blessed me with.  Last week I was able to bless my daughter with the same priesthood authority.  I know the blessing I gave my daughter was ordained by God and will also be in full affect.  I can’t thank God enough for the priesthood He has blessed me with.  How it blesses my life and my family’s life every day.

    I know that the authority to act in God’s name must come by the proper channels.  I know that Joseph Smith was visited by Peter, James, and John and given the keys to this priesthood power.  I know the Church of Jesus Christ was restored and we are blessed by His delegating those keys to us, to simple, flawed man.  He has trusted us with power.  I am grateful to Joseph Smith for restoring the priesthood power and authority.  I’m grateful for every blessing I’ve received and given in my life. 

    I know that God has authorized this. I look forward to the day when I can kneel before him in humble amazement and ask how He could love us so much, that He would give us all He has.

    This my testimony in the sacred name of Jesus Christ.

    ________________________________________

    I will provide some picture evidence of the miraculous nature of my recover.

    *****WARNING*****

    Please don’t keep scrolling if you get queasy easily. These are pictures I refused to look at until today. You can call me a wimp, but I had to step outside for some fresh air after seeing them. You’ve been warned.

    2/1/21:

    2/3/21

    2/8/21:

    2/16/21:

    2/18/21:

    2/24/21:

    3/3/21: