No Coincidences

Category: Uncategorized

  • General Conference April 2020

    Remember the theme.  No coincidences.

    In October of 2018, less than two years ago, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made a huge change; the switch to two-hour church with an emphasis on having a church and Christ-centered home.  How amazing that within two years we are in a position where we are unable to gather together at church.

    Coincidence?

    Because we haven’t been able to gather for church, you might think we are unable to partake of the sacrament.  How grateful I am to have the priesthood authority of God and to have a bishop with the keys to authorize me to bless the sacrament in my home.  I was given that opportunity the last two weeks, since we haven’t been able to go to church.

    I am so grateful for the organization of the church.  I’m grateful for the authority to bless and pass the sacrament in my home.  There is no confusion.  My bishop gives that authority and I can act on it.  Without my bishop’s permission, I could do no such thing, for Christ’s Church is a church of order.

    God is planning ahead for us and we are in His hands.  This becomes extraordinarily evident when we consider the revelations delivered to us by Russell M. Nelson in the last couple years.

    Let’s look at October 2019. God’s Prophet made an interesting statement at this time.  We should read it very closely given the current state of our world: 

    “Thus, the year 2020 will be designated as a bicentennial year. General conference next April will be different from any previous conference. In the next six months, I hope that every member and every family will prepare for a unique conference that will commemorate the very foundations of the restored gospel.”

    He continues,

    “Select your own questions. Design your own plan. Immerse yourself in the glorious light of the Restoration. As you do, general conference next April will be not only memorable; it will be unforgettable.”

    How prophetic.  As my former roommate (not a member of my church) noted, “I think that’s a weird coincidence.”  Yeah, I’d agree, if I believed in coincidences. 

    Our Prophet asked us to ponder two questions in order to make this upcoming general conference special.  His questions were:

    1. “How would my life be different if my knowledge gained from the Book of Mormon were suddenly taken away?”
    2. “How have the events that followed the First Vision made a difference for me and my loved ones?”

    I hope we are all considering these questions thoughtfully and prayerfully. 

    I don’t know what’s coming on April 4 and 5.  There may not be any grand announcement; there may be no huge changes.  I know it will be a great spiritual growing experience.  I know I will come out of this upcoming conference different than I am right now.

    And if a great announcement or great change comes, that is wonderful.  A living Prophet leads this Church.  I believe he is in close communication with Heavenly Father.  I know that the direction he sends us will be another step towards God’s great purposes.  I can’t wait. 

    Members of the Church:  I hope we don’t forget what our Prophet has said and I hope we’re listening.  Look at the world around us.  It is a critical time to be listening to the Prophet and heeding the advice he delivers to us.

    Here is President Nelson’s concluding statement from last conference:

    “Now in closing, I leave with you my love and my blessing that each of you may become happier and holier with each passing day. Meanwhile, please be assured that revelation continues in the Church and will continue under the Lord’s direction until ‘the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done’.

    I so bless you, reaffirming my love for you, with my testimony that God lives! Jesus is the Christ! This is His Church and we are His people. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

    …

    Leave a comment on how you’re preparing for conference.

  • Judged

    Heading into my ninth-grade year my family moved.  This resulted in me attending a new ward.  I got a zone variance so I could go to the school I would have gone to if I didn’t move.  I had developed friendships through middle school that I didn’t want to give up.  The funny thing is how quickly those friendships dissolved.  Not because of falling out or anything dramatic, just growing up and growing apart.  I played basketball and that became my friend group.

    My new ward had a few guys my age.  From day one, I don’t think I ever felt like I completely belonged.  They had been friends their whole lives and I was new.  On top of that, we had no similar interests.  For example, I played sports; they played video games, and that sort of thing.

    I’ve looked back and thought a lot about those years.  During my time in that ward I started to drift further and further away.  It got to the point that I just felt unwelcome.  Back then, being a popular basketball player at my high school was more important than anything. I looked down on this group of friends that I never belonged to.  As I got a girlfriend, I started to think I was cool.  As I started to make serious mistakes, I started to think I was better than them because I was experiencing the world and I thought I was more mature.

    Then I started to feel judged by them.  I started to feel ostracized.  I still remember meeting with my bishop at the time.  He was the father of one of those friends in the group.  He was a young, kind man.  He was easy to get along with and a good guy.  I remember telling him I wasn’t worthy to bless the sacrament.  I couldn’t help but feel that he’d told his son, who’d told his friends, and the ostracizing got worse. 

    Over time, that feeling festered.  I didn’t think about it too intensely, but I had this idea that they all knew and they all judged me for it.  In hindsight, that bishop was a great guy and there’s very little chance he ever told his son anything about my transgressions.  He may have told his son to look out for me or to help me. That could have made his son think some things.  I strongly doubt he told him anything about my mistakes.  Yet, over time, this thought became something I assumed was true.

    Now I look back on these days with a much different perspective.  Something I’ve come to realize is that I was never judged by that group of friends.  They tried to welcome me and they tried to make me a member of their group.  Any judgment I felt was my own.

    It’s been a long journey to get to this point.  To come to the realization that I was the one ostracizing myself.  I was the one judging myself.  I didn’t feel welcome because I was making myself unwelcome.  It wasn’t something I realized until I looked back. Many years later I was able to see it, after some growth and real maturing. 

    What helped me come to this realization was reading the story of Cain and Abel.  The scriptures say that Cain loved Satan more than God.  Satan tricked Cain and misled him.  That’s what happened to me those many years ago. Satan tricked and misled me.  He led me to believe these good, kind, friendly individuals didn’t like me.  I allowed my pride to make me think I was better than them.  Satan promoted that thinking.  Satan led me to be mindful of the world and I followed along.

    It was only through the grace of Jesus Christ and His atonement that I was able to come away from that part of my life with an understanding of what was actually happening.  I’m grateful that time didn’t foster even more of a feeling of animosity or negativity towards the church.  I’m glad I was always able to separate perceived wrongs and unkindness of individuals from the love of my Savior.  It’s now these years later, because of my Savior, that I’m able to see I was wrong and judging myself.  I learned to love God more than the world.  The atonement of Jesus Christ allowed me to be forgiven for those mistakes I made and also gave me the perspective to see the humble kindness I was always surrounded by.

    I hope everyone out there can separate the people of Christ’s Church, imperfect as we are, from Christ Himself.  Christ loves us so much.  He knows us.  He judges us only with love.  Members of the Church always fall short.  We’re not there yet.  As long as we keep trying, maybe we’ll one day get there.  But for now, I plead for you to remember Christ is perfect, we’re not.  Make sure you have a testimony of Him first.  Everything else will fall in line.

    If anyone has felt judged or would like to share your experience, I’d love to hear it.  Thanks for reading.

  • Content and Media

    Sometimes members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are weird.  If you’re a member of the Church and haven’t fully embraced this, it’s time to get on board.  Peter stated,

    “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”  

    1 Peter 2:9

    Peculiar, weird. Same thing.  So, take comfort in this if you haven’t already.

    I have many nonmember friends that thought I was weird long before I started going back to church.  That’s mostly because I am weird.  We won’t go into more detail on that.  Since coming back to church though, my nonmember friends have found tons of other reasons to find me weird.

    I will quickly list through some of them:

    1. I don’t do anything on Sunday anymore (not even basketball)!  This comes up all the time.
    2. I stopped listening to a lot of music I used to listen to.
    3. My language changed; the words I use drastically changed.
    4. I started inviting friends to church and dinner with the missionaries almost constantly.
    5. I stopped partaking of some beverages.  Luckily, I never drank coffee.  But when I tell people I don’t drink coffee they almost fall over in shock every time. 
    6. I stopped wanting to go to certain places – like bars.
    7. I slowly stopped gambling.
    8. Finally, and what I’ll talk about here, I recently stopped watching rated-R movies.

    Yeah, this is one I didn’t think we actually followed.  For nonmembers out there, yes, we’re advised to avoid rated-R movies.  I’m going to elaborate on how I came to respect and appreciate this counsel.  It wasn’t until very recently that I started this and I’ve been going strong for a few months.

    My decision to stop watching rated-R movies starts with a particular movie.  It is called Hateful Eight.  I’m not going to go into detail about this movie because that defeats my purpose.  The gist was this. I started the movie and then there was a particular scene that unfolded about midway through.  The end of the scene left me feeling… icky.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  I had to leave my house at that moment and decided I was going to finish the movie later.  It took me some time to get back to the movie.  I started to realize I didn’t know if I wanted to finish the movie.

    For the record, I’m the kind of person who tries to finish something once I start it.  Miserable book?  Gotta get through it.  Boring movie? Maybe the ending is good.  But I started asking myself, do I REALLY want to finish that movie?  I talked to my roommate Chris about it.  He seemed to actually understand where I was coming from, which surprised me.  “Hateful Eight…” he said trailing off, “yeah… there’s a lot in that one.”  I went on to talk about it and learned the part I came to wasn’t even the part he thought I was talking about.  Apparently it got worse after that!

    So, I decided I didn’t want to finish that movie.  Since I was cutting movies off midway through for the first time, I started to think more about that icky feeling I had experienced.  What was it?  I started to realize that particular movie made me feel dark and dirty.  There was an image stuck in my mind I couldn’t get out.  It was unpleasant.  It wasn’t something I wanted in my mind.

    My favorite book, Visions of Glory has a whole section about the entertainment we choose to take in.  What we view and listen to alters us.  It either brings light or darkness to us.  That’s what I felt after that scene. Darkness. 

    I know to many people this may be strange.  I know to some people, cutting some of these things out of our lives seems impossible.  The point I want to make is that it can be done.  I didn’t get rid of all of those 8 things listed above overnight.  In some cases it took years actively going to church to change habits.  The biggest point I want to make is that I’m much happier since making those changes.

    I’m not saying everyone has to cut out rated-R movies. But I am saying that if you did, you might be surprised that first, you’re capable of doing it, and second, how you feel about doing it.  The same goes for Netflix and the endless streams of content we take in.  There are good things and there are bad things.  Sometimes the bad is hard to see. You don’t realize it’s “bad”.  That’s why I appreciate this guidance with rated-R movies.  Why chance it?

    There’s a quote from Visions of Glory about spiritual gifts.  It reads,

    “I observed that there are many people who are governed by the voice of Jesus Christ, who are like lanterns being carried through darkness.  They push darkness away by their approach, and the dark angels must depart.  Evil beings are powerless to penetrate it and are compelled to depart.”

    At some point I decided I wanted to be a lantern.  The idea of being given a chance to provide light to someone’s life and missing that opportunity because my light was dimmed, hurts me.  I don’t want that to happen.  I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.  I’m not judging what anyone else chooses to watch or listen to. However, I am telling you what you watch and listen to is important.

    We in the Church are peculiar.  We must be.  The world needs more lanterns.

  • Parents

    **Written in June of 2019**

    My dad hates baseball.  I hate baseball.  My dad played basketball in high school.  I played basketball in high school.  My dad is pretty ‘eh’ about football. He doesn’t hate it but he’s also not super passionate about it.  How do you think I feel about football?

    We generally follow our dad or parents’ lead in many ways.  I used sports because it’s a simple and easy example that is often true.  Another example is country music. Dad hates it and I hate it.  Why is this important? As I often do, I thought about this in a spiritual context.

    In the church, parents are implored to raise their children with the scriptures and to teach them of Jesus Christ.  To teach them of their Heavenly Father.  The scriptures are the gateway into this knowledge.  I’ve recently been thinking about the importance of raising kids to have knowledge of what’s truly important.  That, with love, will shape children into what they will become. 

    It’s hard to quantify how the way I was raised impacted who I am today.  I wouldn’t say my parents were the most vigilant scriptorians.  To be honest, I don’t remember reading the scriptures as a family, though I’m sure there were times.  Despite that, I always knew they were important.  Even if we didn’t always read them, I respected them.  That’s potentially the most important thing my parents gave me, a respect for scripture.  The same thing goes for church.  We may not have gone every week but growing up I knew it was important.

    Consider a scriptural example of young men raised right. They were raised to love their parents and love their freedom.  The account of the two thousand stripling warriors in the book of Alma shows us the profound influence good parents can have on children.  The parents of those 2,000 young men made a covenant not to raise weapons ever again against their brethren.  They were willing to die first.  Their children made no such covenant.  Since these children loved their parents, God, and their freedom, they willingly went to battle.

    The story is well known in the Church.  For those who aren’t familiar, go read chapter 56 in Alma of the Book of Mormon.  Of those 2,000 young men, not a single life was lost.  Many were hurt and injured, but not one killed.  They fought in a war and all were accounted for.  What explains this?  Their faith.  Alma 56:47-48 reads “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.  And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”  These young men were raised to trust God.  The impact of their parents’ teachings made them powerful warriors. 

    Scripture becomes even more important because of the world we live in today.  We are surrounded by temptation.  The world has turned from God, turned from Christ.  We’ve started to depend on our own knowledge and understanding.  It’s interesting, at the time we have the most access to scripture and to the lessons of the past, we have most aggressively turned from God.  The time will come as it always does when God will remind man of their weak and feeble state.  We’ve become so used to buying food at the grocery store, we forget where that food ultimately comes from.  Drought and famine will happen, even in our modern, comfortable world.  Then people will turn to God.  It will be too late, as we see in scripture.

    Now is the time to raise children with a love of God.  Not a fear, a love.  That love comes from reading the scriptures.  Love for God comes from seeing all that He has given us.  We are nothing and have nothing without Him.

    Alma 57:21 reads, “Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them.” And in verse 27, “Now this was the faith of these of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually.”

    It’s so important that youth today are raised with faith.  Our future depends on them.  Their faith will be the most important thing they have as the world becomes increasingly faithless.  Parents must be examples to their children first and lead them to the scriptures second.  I’m not a parent yet, but I hope one day to have kids that are filled with faith, love for others, and a humble appreciation for all that God has given them.  I often ponder what I can do to instill these values in my future children. 

    The answer is simple:  direct them to the scriptures. 

    We’ll Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman) – The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square

    If you liked this post and also love the scriptures because of your parents, share this with them to thank them.

  • Wedding

    Wedding

    I don’t think many of my posts will be as similar to a journal entry as this one.  I have many topics I want to touch on that I’ve thought a long time about writing about.  This topic is very current and happening in my life.  Therefore, I want to write about it now, while it holds so much significance.

    I’m getting married in 19 days.  I don’t want to write about the stress of it and all that because really, who cares?  (Oh, by the way, if my fiancé asks, I CARE!)

    I want to talk about certain reactions I’ve gotten to getting married soon.  On multiple occasions this conversation has happened:

    “So, the wedding is coming up, how are you feeling?”

    Me – “Nervous, just want to get it over with.”

    “Yeah, having second thoughts?”

    Me – “Uhm..no.  Just nervous about the day and the event and the planning and making sure it all goes right for her. “

    I’ve had that reaction from multiple different people.  Why is their first thought always that I’m having second thoughts about it?  It’s scary and it’s a big commitment but I’m marrying my best friend.  The most kind, beautiful, loving, patient, understanding, smart person I’ve ever met.  When I go to work I wish she could come with me.  When I play basketball, I want her to be there, watching.  When she is doing something so mundane, it becomes bearable because I’m with her.  Yes, I’m scared and nervous.  That mostly comes from wanting to never disappoint her.  The truth is, I’m not that worried about her.  She’s going to be the most amazing wife there ever was.  I’m more worried about being the husband she deserves.

    Here’s the test. Can I write a short entry… looks like no.  I must now get into the bigger, societal implications of these responses from other married and single men. Why is this the reaction? The issue is that we think marriage is disposable and love is something you can fall out of. 

    I will begin to tread lightly at this point because I am far from a master of love.  In fact, if you don’t want to risk getting bad advice, you may want to just tune out now.  Or better yet, go back to where I almost concluded and just think, ‘huh, nice post,’ and move on to the next one. 

    If I’ve learned something from my parents, as I’ve gotten older, it’s that marriage isn’t easy.  As a child, I was blissfully unaware of any marital unrest.  Now, I see tension and issues more clearly.  That being said, my parents are the most amazing example of love I’ve ever seen.  I understand how blessed I am to have an example of love so close to me.  They are best friends.  My dad doesn’t want to do anything without my mom.  I’ve always seen that, and it’s had a profound impact on me.

    As I got older I realized more how hard it is.  It’s not easy for my parents; it’s not easy for anyone.  Feelings get hurt.  That person starts chewing REALLY loud.  They tell the same story over and over.  But love isn’t something that falls away.  It’s a choice.  You choose to put your feelings aside because you hope they didn’t mean to hurt you, you accept their loud chewing, you act like it’s the first time you’ve heard that same, stupid story.

    Our Bishop gave us one piece of advice I hope I never forget.  He said, “If you both try your hardest, always to make the other happy, you’ll have the happiest marriage in the world.”  Of course, that’s easier said than done.  My fiancé and I have already run into how tenuous a concept that can be (maybe a post for another day).  But we’re trying.  And I love her.  I wish I could exhibit as much love to her as she deserves. Right now I know I’m not.  Over time, I plan to become better and I plan to love her the way she deserves.  I know today I’m not close to the husband she deserves.  I hope to one day be.

    Marriage isn’t something to throw away when it gets stale.  It’s something to preserve and fight for.  Marriages until death do you part are great, but I am so excited to be married for time and all eternity.  I can’t imagine the work I’m about to put into this relationship to love it and let it grow and flourish into a connection welded in steel, for it to be over once this life is over.  “They twain (separate, apart) shall be one flesh” (Mark 10:8).

    I’ll conclude with a quote from a book I loved,

    “To me marriage must be eternal!  How could it be otherwise when two grow together and become as one?  Death can not separate them without destroying; they are no longer two perfect beings, but one in soul and spirit forever.”

    Rebecca Ruter Springer (My Dream of Heaven)