No Coincidences

Tag: atonement

  • Incommensurable

    Incommensurable

    I was listening to a podcast about the incommensurability of Joseph Smith being able to describe what the translation process for the Book of Mormon was like.  

    Incommensurable is like indescribable, without relation to anything, unquantifiable.  

    Joseph Smith had many experiences, including the First Vision, that were incommensurable and therefore difficult for him to describe.

    I’ve written 330+ posts at this point. In many of them, I’m trying to describe incommensurable things. I’m trying to describe my testimony. I’m trying to describe my experiences. I’m trying to describe a change that has happened inside me. I’m trying to describe things I know to be true. These things, without the reader feeling my emotions, my heart, my chest, my mind, without being in my skin, words can’t describe many of the things I try to write and share. 

    I wish I could hand the testimony I have of the Book of Mormon and of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for me into the heart of every person I ever meet, if only for a moment (I want it back!). But I can’t. I wish I could give to someone how I know the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve tried before. I can’t. 

    I wish I could describe so that you, the reader, could understand what I felt when I left the Bishop’s office and knew, just knew with all my heart, that Christ was going to forgive me for everything I had done. I wish I could describe the feeling that washed over me. I wish you could feel my tears. I wish you could feel that experience. 

    Many of you have in your own way. Some of you haven’t.

    Tears come to my eyes just thinking back on some of these moments in my life.

    Incommensurable.  

    I want to state something clearly, since I can’t use words to properly describe my testimony and knowledge of my Savior. Here are facts to review. 

    I have changed. 

    I am a father. 

    I am a different person than I was 5, 10, or 15 years ago. I am far, far, far from perfect. Embarassingly far from perfect. Shamefully far from perfect. I recognize that. But –

    If you see anything good in me, it’s because of Jesus Christ.

    If you think I have any admirable qualities, it’s because of Jesus Christ. 

    If you think I’m any sort of decent father, it’s because of Jesus Christ. 

    If you think I’m any sort of decent person, it’s because of Jesus Christ.

    Everything good I am and everything good I can be is because of Him. 

    I am not a father without Him. I am not a son without Him. I am not a friend without Him. 

    Everything good I am, is because of Him. 

    For those that haven’t had revelatory experience of knowing that Christ is your Savior, and feeling what He has done for you, I invite you to sit and ponder all your mistakes. Ponder the pain you’ve caused others. Ponder all the bad. Realize He forgives you because He loves you. Then ponder all the good you’ve ever done. All the help you’ve ever provided. All the smiles you’ve caused. Consider all that is good about you, and thank Him. Whether you realize it or not, it’s because of Him.  

  • Suns Experience

    Suns Experience

    Last week I got to play on the Phoenix Suns court. It was an awesome experience, one of the coolest things I’ve ever gotten to do. Huge shoutout to Robert, his wife Brooke, and Blake for making it happen. We got exclusive access to the court and were able to play pickup for three hours. Well, some of us were able to play for hours… more on that later.

    Some basketball thoughts from playing on a real NBA court.

    First, those lights are bright. When I’d shoot from the corners, if I watched the ball arc up before it got to the rim, I’d be blinded by the lights. If I looked up unconsciously while playing, I got blinded. Never thought about what it would be like to actually play under the “bright lights.”Speaking of the corners, it is a tight fit. Shooting an NBA three from the corner gives barely enough room for your feet. If you take a step back at all to try to explode toward the hoop, you’re stepping out of bounds. I have size 10 shoes. I don’t know how the size 20s even do it.

    Speaking of the lights, part of the package with getting to play on the court was we got to watch the Suns play that night against the Orlando Magic. We got to watch from the suite level with food and drink included. I’ve been to many Suns games, but this was a unique game to watch due to having been on the court just hours earlier. These things I mentioned like the lights and the tight space from the corner were things I considered more than I ever had before. The other thing that stood out to me that I’d never thought about before was how hectic an environment this was for NBA players to play basketball in.

    Basketball is a refuge for me. It’s therapeutic. Playing on an NBA court with thousands of people watching cannot be therapeutic.

    An NBA game is a chaotic and hectic experience. Of course, there are the thousands of people watching, yelling, and trash-talking. That’s crazy in and of itself. But what struck me the most after having played on the court was how loud the music was. While we played, we had a pretty chill March Madness game playing on the big screen with the volume on what I’d guess was around medium. It was still distracting. Watching that game later against the Magic I was focused on the NOISE, the MUSIC, and the BASS.

    It is pandemonium at an NBA game. For some reason I’d always thought the NBA players were a bit sheltered from the noise. After playing on the court, I realized it’s the opposite. They are at the bottom, center of a dome. All the noise and chaos are amplified on the court. It gave me my first true appreciation of home-court advantage. That chaos is one thing, but when it’s a chaos you’re not used to, (on the road visiting another stadium) with fans heckling you the whole time, it’s complete sensory overload.

    So, back to my time on the court, unfortunately I got hurt the beginning of the second game. I was running and just stepped wrong and twisted my ankle bad. It actually happened at almost the exact spot where Kevin Durant twisted his ankle while doing a routine warm-up layup a couple weeks earlier.

    Probably exactly what my ankle looked like, same spot.

    After I rolled my ankle, I at least got to see what it was like to be treated like an NBA player for a moment. Multiple trainers checked on me and brought me ice. It was a bit embarrassing. I got to spend the rest of the pickup session jealously watching with ice on my ankle from the sideline.

    Here’s the part where I insert what I learned spiritually from this experience.

    I’ve twisted that ankle at least 3 dozen times, not exaggerating. It’s never fun. It’s always painful.

    That night, I was laying in bed with my ankle propped up on pillows. I’d already discarded the ice that was on it. It was the middle of the night and my foot was THROBBING. It hurt.

    It hurt badly enough that I started praying for relief. I don’t want to be dramatic. I know that on the pain scale, what I was experiencing was pretty mild. But still, it hurt. That’s when I started thinking about every groin pull, every sprained ankle, every concussion, every headache, every upset stomach, every scalping, every stitch, every ingrown toenail, every scratch, every bruise, every heartache, every heartbreak, every disappointment, every fear, every doubt.

    How could He have felt it all?

    Here I was, writhing in pain, whining, praying for relief, over a sprained ankle. And He felt every sprained ankle of every person that ever did or would exist, all in a moment. He felt it all. How?

    I ponder often on the Atonement. I’ve tried to wrap my head around it. It’s not something we can wrap our heads around. That’s the point. He did something unimaginable. He did something incomprehensible. And he did it for us.

    I believe (I know) that Christ felt it all that night at Gethsemane. I don’t know how; I can’t understand it. But I know He did. It’s why I write about Him, it’s why I think about Him, it’s why I serve Him. Because for a long time, I tried to forget what He did for me because of guilt, or incomprehension, or selfishness. But now I think the most important thing I do outside of anything with my family is write about Him.

    I think the most important thing I do for my daughters is teach them about Him. Few things bring me as much joy as when Ivy sees a picture, I ask, “who’s that?” And she replies, “Jesus.” I hope someone reads this that needs to remember Him and what He did for us. When you think about what He did for us, ultimately it must make us more loving because we’re considering a love that is unfathomable. That makes us better.

  • Importance of Promises (and Covenants)

    Importance of Promises (and Covenants)

    Since as long as I can remember, promises have been important to me. I’ve always said I would never break a promise for any reason. Period. I’m sure at some points in my life I have broken promises. I have this vague recollection of a broken promise or two that still eat at me. I don’t remember the details, but I remember the feeling of not keeping my word. For whatever reason, promises are something I’ve always considered immensely important, I’m not sure exactly why. Deep down inside, I’ve always thought promises were important to keep. Otherwise, what was the point? Otherwise, words were hollow and how could you be trusted?

    In Alma 23:16-25:2 of the Book of Mormon, there is the story of the Anti-Nephi-Lehis. This is the story of the Lamanites who converted unto the Lord and from then on turned away from their past traditions of murder and bloodshed. They buried their weapons of war and covenanted to shed blood no more. They took their new covenant so seriously that when other Lamanites came to war against them, rather than break their newly made covenant, they knelt before their former brothers and gave up their lives.

    As I read this story recently, a question arose: how seriously do we take our covenants? What does our word mean to us? How about when our word is a promise to God? How important do we deem that pact?

    Covenants are important. Covenants are serious. Keeping covenants is a serious thing.

    The converted Lamanites, or Anti-Nephi-Lehis, made a covenant to shed blood no more. Full stop. No excuses. When their lives were at stake, did they reconsider? Did they say to themselves, “well I promised this, but surely I’m not supposed to lie here and die over a promise”? They thought the exact opposite. Their covenant was worth more than their mortal life. These Anti-Nephi-Lehis understood the significance of covenants. There were no excuses. They had faith. They knew that if they died keeping their word to God, they would inherit a glory and reward that would be well worth the earthly sacrifice.

    Covenants with God are greater than death.

    So, I ask again, how seriously do you take your covenants?

    Have I been perfect in keeping the covenants I’ve made with God? Let’s review the first covenants I made with God when I was baptized at age 9. I covenanted to:

    1. Take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ.
    2. Keep His commandments.
    3. Serve Him to the end.

    Have I been perfect in this? Of course not. None of us are perfect yet. But I’ve tried. I often wonder how much my baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost at age 9 strengthened me and helped me to return. I often wonder how my upbringing influences my deep respect for promises. Though I haven’t been perfect, I always took these covenants seriously.

    I now take further covenants I’ve made very seriously. For example, my covenant with my wife, to be faithful to her, to love her, to serve her, to be there for her. That is the most important promise I’ve made in this life and I intend to die before breaking it.

    In a world of promise-breaking and commitment to nothing, I am ever-grateful for the covenants I’ve been privileged to make. I’m grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ that provides the proper authority for me to make promises with God. I’m grateful to be linked to God. I’m grateful for the strength covenants provide in a shaky and uncertain world.

    If you’ve made covenants that you’ve broken, I implore you to reexplore those promsies. Satan leads us to believe that once broken, we can’t mend our word. When our promise is with God, that is true, we can’t mend it. But He can. Jesus Christ suffered the Atonement so that we can come back even to make up for the promises we’ve broken. He knows we aren’t perfect. He will make the difference. I fell into that trap for stretches in my life. Thinking I’d gone too far away from God, I’d broken too many promises, disregarded too many commandments, and I couldn’t come back. The feeling of reuniting with God is the most comforting feeling in the world. Reunite with Him. He will always take us back. He will always reestablish our covenants because He loves us that much.

    Come back to Him and feel His peace.

    I am grateful for covenants and that God allows me, an insignificant little speck, to align and connect myself with Him. What power. What comfort.

  • Dontcha know I know

    Dontcha know I know

    All of Ivy’s life, when she’s been upset or crying, I’ve said, “Dontcha know I know?”

    This is my way of saying jokingly, “Don’t you know I know what it’s like to not want to get dressed, not want to eat certain food, to be hungry, to be tired, to be upset, etc.?”

    Today was Sunday. I woke up from a nap and I watched a video depicting the Atonement that Jesus Christ performed.

    Sage started crying in the other room. She’d been having a rough day. We think she has some acid reflux and stuff like that. Sometimes her tummy gets upset. This day seemed to be hard for her.

    Sage likes to tilt her head way back and stretch out her stomach. Apparently, this is a sign of acid reflux. I went to the other room and picked up Sage and put her into her favorite position. Head in my hands tilted back, stomach stretched, looking up at a ceiling fan (she LOVES looking up at ceiling fans).

    This provided a little relief, but she was still crying on and off.

    When Sage was still fussing, I started to say my automatic, “Dontcha know…”

    And that’s where I stopped.

    I didn’t know what it was like to have acid reflux, and for my stomach to hurt like hers did, and to not be able to find relief whatsoever on my own, and to only attain some relief if Mom or Dad came to hold me a certain way. Even if I had that experience as a baby myself, I don’t remember. I didn’t know or remember what Sage was feeling.

    But someone did. I believe that Christ, during that infinite and indescribable Atonement, even felt the pains of an infant with acid reflux. I believe He felt it all.

    “Children are alive in Christ” (Moroni 8:12).

    I couldn’t know what Sage was feeling. Dontcha know I didn’t know. But He knows, and He felt it, and He remembered it.

    When Sage cries she’s communicating to us that she needs help. It’s me and Beth’s job to come to her aid and help her with what she can’t help herself with. How many things, as adults, do we need help with that we can’t do ourselves? As adults, we think of ourselves as so independent. But all we do relies on the Lord. We rely on Him to allow our breath to work within our bodies, water to hydrate us, food to nourish us. These things don’t happen of ourselves but because of Him.

    God and Christ come to our aid when we need it and especially when we ask for it. Christ knows how to hold us just right to help ease our pain and give us relief. Rely on Him for aid just as little children rely on their parents. Be ye as little children (Matthew 18:3).

    Christ felt it. Christ remembers it. Christ experienced it. Turn to Him and He will help all our pains, challenges, and afflictions.

  • God Loves a Returned Sinner

    God Loves a Returned Sinner

    Luke 15:7 reads:

    “I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

    Why does heaven rejoice over a returned sinner?

    Why does Christ love a returned sinner? This should be obvious. Christ loves a returned sinner because they’re utilizing His Atonement, the great gift He gave them. He suffered for that gift. Why wouldn’t He rejoice over it being used?

    It’s very important to point out that this doesn’t make the returned sinner any better than the constantly faithful. Do you think God is up there thinking, “you were always upright. Too bad you didn’t sin some more so I could have increased joy”? Of course not. God loves the consistently faithful. I think another important point here is that we’re all sinners. So, by this scripture we can know, that God loves all who repent of sins. We all sin.

    An individual from history who was a clear sinner, making evil choices, even if he didn’t realize it, was Paul. Paul ended up being one of the greatest missionaries ever but started as the greatest persecutor of the church. Paul received a miraculous visit from Jesus Christ. This converted him and he instantly changed his ways. As we read the scriptures, Paul’s change seems instant. But I believe there was a reason he had to travel blind for three days. I believe his change was actually slow and required a lot of humility.

    Paul became an obvious example of Luke 15:7, heaven rejoicing. Paul was such a go-getter of persecution; the Heavens must have been excited to have him on their team once he converted. Imagine how the angels rejoiced when Paul turned to the Lord because they now knew how ferocious he would be for the Lord.

    Peter can be seen as another example of someone who didn’t always make the right choices. Isn’t it amazing to read the New Testament and consider how flawed the individuals were who Christ chose to spread His word and be His ministers? Peter was no exception. You can look to Peter’s three denials of Christ as a great scriptural moment representing needing to learn a lesson, repent, and double down on conversion and commitment.

    Peter made a huge, and life-altering mistake by denying Christ those three times. It was life-altering for how it helped Peter change his life. It could have been life-altering in how it turned Peter away from Christ. He could have gone the other way. Christ knew He wouldn’t. That’s why Christ picked Peter.

    The show “The Chosen” does an interesting job of depicting Peter. What if Peter was kind of a bad guy? Not a bad heart, but did some bad things. A rough guy. A guy that made a lot of mistakes before he met Jesus and fell in as one of his apostles. Then, slowly, over much time around the Master, Peter became His primary apostle. Peter eventually became the president of Christ’s church.

    The student manual for the book of Mark notes:

    “Mark, more than the other Gospel writers, recorded the disciples’ shortcomings (see Mark 4:36-41; 6:52; 8:14-21). The disciples’ weaknesses stand in contrast to their greath faith and successes, which are depicted in the book of Acts, helping us appreciate the transformation brought about by the Resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Ghost.”

    Never judge a sinner. They can become the most kind, most gentle, most Godly person. We all have Godhood in us. One day our sins will be in great contrast to our faith and successes when we ultimately attain our full potential.

    The Bible Dictionary definition of “conversion” states:

    “Denotes changing one’s views, in a conscious acceptance of the will of God (emphasis added, Acts 3:19). If followed by continued faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism in water for the remission of sins, and the reception of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, conversion will become complete and will change a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person-a new creature in Christ Jesus (see 2 Cor. 5:17). Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing (emphasis added, see Luke 22:32; D&C 112:12-13). To labor for the conversion of one’s self and others is a noble task, as in Ps. 51:13; Dan. 12:3; James 5:19-20; Alma 26; D&C 18:15-16.”

    The part that stood out to me most from that definition was that complete conversion comes after many trials. I know it did for me. I had to experience the bitter to appreciate the sweet. I had to see how dark life could feel to appreciate Christ’s light. I know my testimony is stronger because I had to learn how dark it can be.

    Did Peter experience his change through trials? Did Paul? I think they did. Those who go through the greatest trials and then turn to the Lord become his most devout followers. Paul was blind. That’s quite a trial. But when he saw the light, he never turned away from it again.

    We all don’t receive miraculous visitations from Jesus Christ like Paul did, or get to work with Christ side-by-side like Peter, but we can still feel His presence, serve Him, and feel what it’s like to have Him by our side. Imagine how different your actions would be day-to-day if Christ was with you? Well, He is.

    Sometimes I worry that faithful, day-one-never-wander latter-day saints are missing this. This devotion to the cause. This understanding of how much you need Him. It’s why trials happen. Otherwise, we’d all walk merrily through this life, never understanding the true depth of the Atonement and how desperately we need Him.

    Now, trials come in all shapes and sizes. Just because someone appears to never have gone through “it”, doesn’t mean they’ve never gone through it. We never know the internal struggles, challenges, and difficulties someone faces in their faith. It’s usually not on the outside. But if you see a devoted person to God, you can assume they’ve been through something. It’s those somethings that bring us to Him.

    God loves a returned sinner. Remember that whenever you make a mistake. While we don’t want to make mistakes, we always want to do our best, God will welcome us back with open arms when we make mistakes and repent. It’s a comforting thought whenever we mess up. God knows our heart. Part of making mistakes and repenting is truly regretting it. This doesn’t mean beating yourself up about it or getting too down on yourself, but it does mean truly feeling regret and remorse for mistakes. This can’t be faked. God knows your heart.

    I think we can learn something really neat from examples like Peter and Paul. No matter how far we stray, God has a place for us. God doesn’t look at what we’ve been or what we are, but what we will be. He knows what we will be. He sees that in us. I’d guess it’s His greatest desire that we see in ourselves what He already knows is there.

    Be like Peter and Paul. Be someone Christ can pick.

    God loves a returned sinner.