No Coincidences

Tag: eternal family

  • Infant baptisms, Salvation, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ

    Infant baptisms, Salvation, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ

    One of the great fallacies of Christian belief is what happens to people who die without being baptized, especially those who never, in mortal life, had an opportunity to be baptized.

    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is sometimes accused of diminishing God through the beliefs He has revealed to us. For example, the idea that we can become like Him. Other Christian sects look at this as some sort of disrespect towards God. Like us trying to be like our Father is an insult to Him. We’re similarly criticized for diminishing Christ’s Atonement in the faith and works discussion.

    What of children who die without baptism? How many children have died without the opportunity to be baptized?

    We’re criticized for diminishing Christ’s Atonement.

    What’s more disrespectful to the price Christ paid for ALL of us than saying Christ’s Atonement doesn’t cover the billions of people – billions of babies and children, that have died without baptism? What a corrupt and sad view of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to say that it doesn’t protect innocent children who never could be baptized. He died for all of us.

    So, I would like to share beautiful truths as revealed by God to his prophets in this dispensation that pertain to little children, salvation, the resurrection, and Christ’s Atonement.

    The following are some frequently asked questions concerning the status of children who die before the age of accountability.

    Are they automatically saved? 

    Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote: “To this question the answer is a thunderous yes, which echoes and re-echoes from one end of heaven to the other. Jesus taught it to his disciples. Mormon said it over and over again. Many of the prophets have spoken about it, and it is implicit in the whole plan of salvation. If it were not so the redemption would not be infinite in its application. And so, as we would expect, Joseph Smith’s Vision of the Celestial Kingdom contains this statement: ‘And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven.’ [D&C 137:10.]

    “It is sometimes asked if this applies to children of all races, and of course the answer is that when the revelation says all children it means all children. There is no restriction as to race, kindred, or tongue. Little children are little children and they are all alive in Christ, and all are saved by him, through and because of the atonement. …

    “They are saved through the atonement and because they are free from sin. They come from God in purity; no sin or taint attaches to them in this life; and they return in purity to their Maker. Accountable persons must become pure through repentance and baptism and obedience. Those who are not accountable for sins never fall spiritually and need not be redeemed from a spiritual fall which they never experienced. Hence the expression that little children are alive in Christ.…

    “Truly it is one of the sweetest and most soul-satisfying doctrines of the gospel! It is also one of the great evidences of the divine mission of the Prophet Joseph Smith. In his day the fiery evangelists of Christendom were thundering from their pulpits that the road to hell is paved with the skulls of infants not a span long because careless parents had neglected to have their offspring baptized. Joseph Smith’s statements, as recorded in the Book of Mormon and latter-day revelation, came as a refreshing breeze of pure truth: little children shall be saved. Thanks be to God for the revelations of his mind where these innocent and pure souls are concerned!” (“The Salvation of Little Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1977, pp. 4, 7.)

    Even though little children will be saved, does that mean they will have eternal life?

    Elder McConkie explained: “Eternal life is life in the highest heaven of the celestial world; it is exaltation; it is the name of the kind of life God lives. It consists of a continuation of the family unity in eternity. … children will be saved in the celestial kingdom. Salvation means eternal life; the two terms are synonymous; they mean exactly the same thing. Joseph Smith said, ‘Salvation consists in the glory, authority, majesty, power and dominion which Jehovah possesses and in nothing else.’ (Lectures on Faith, pp. 63–67.) We have come to speak of this salvation as exaltation—which it is—but all of the scriptures in all of the standard works call it salvation. I know of only three passages in all our scriptures which use salvation to mean something other and less than exaltation.” (“Salvation of Little Children,” p. 5.)

    President Joseph Fielding Smith added:

    “The Lord will grant unto these children the privilege of all the sealing blessings which pertain to the exaltation.

    “We were all mature spirits before we were born, and the bodies of little children will grow after the resurrection to the full stature of the spirit, and all the blessings will be theirs through their obedience, the same as if they had lived to maturity and received them on the earth.

    “The Lord is just and will not deprive any person of a blessing, simply because he dies before that blessing can be received. It would be manifestly unfair to deprive a little child of the privilege of receiving all the blessings of exaltation in the world to come simply because it died in infancy.…

    “Children who die in childhood will not be deprived of any blessing. When they grow, after the resurrection, to the full maturity of the spirit, they will be entitled to all the blessings which they would have been entitled to had they been privileged to tarry here and receive them.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:54; see also Mosiah 15:25.)

    Why do some children die and others live? Are those who die better off than those who remain in mortality?

    Elder McConkie wrote:

    “We may rest assured that all things are controlled and governed by Him whose spirit children we are. He knows the end from the beginning, and he provides for each of us the testings and trials which He knows we need. President Joseph Fielding Smith once told me that we must assume that the Lord knows and arranges beforehand who shall be taken in infancy and who shall remain on earth to undergo whatever tests are needed in their cases. This accords with Joseph Smith’s statement: ‘The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth.’ (Teachings, pp. 196–97.) It is implicit in the whole scheme of things that those of us who have arrived at the years of accountability need the tests and trials to which we are subject and that our problem is to overcome the world and attain that spotless and pure state which little children already possess.” (“Salvation of Little Children,” p. 6.)

    Will children who die before the years of accountability ever be tested in the way that other mortals are tested? 

    President Joseph Fielding Smith said: “Satan cannot tempt little children in this life, nor in the spirit world, nor after their resurrection. Little children who die before reaching the years of accountability will not be tempted.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:57; see also D&C 29:47; 45:58.)

    What will happen to children in the Resurrection?

    President Joseph F. Smith wrote: “Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: ‘You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.’ There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volumes of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us.” (Gospel Doctrine, pp. 455–56.)

    Thank the Lord He has revealed these principles to us. Amen.

  • Watching Kids Grow

    Watching Kids Grow

    I know everyone with kids has experienced this, so I’ll try to do it some justice by putting it into words.

    Watching your kid(s) go from potato to living, breathing, functioning being is the most amazing, rewarding, spectacular thing.

    I once heard an interview with an extremely successful man.  Like – hundreds of millions, top of his field, successful.  He was asked, what would be your one regret?  His answer?  What could someone with so much success possibly regret?  He said he wished he had more kids.  I think this individual had 6 kids, but he said something that stood out to me.  He said something like, “I don’t think anyone gets older and says, ‘man, I had too many kids.’”  You’re much more likely to get older and say to yourself, “my kids are my complete joy, they are everything, I wish we had more.”

    I know that in the moment having children is so hard… so much work.  But I think I agree with that statement from that successful man.  I doubt when it’s all said and done I’ll say, “I really had too many kids.”

    Watching Ivy develop my habits, my vocabulary, and at the same time develop independence and become her own little person – it’s unbelievable.

    For anyone debating having children, I have one thing to say:  It will provide the greatest joy you could ever experience. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear with my writing.

    I love Ivy and my family with all my heart.

    I didn’t plan on this.  I was actually writing this as its own post, not an announcement post.  But what better way to announce?

    Beth and I are expecting our second child.

    This brings stress, two children under the age of two.  Of course it brings stress.  But I know I’ll never regret it.  I can’t wait to welcome our new daughter.

    And Happy Mothers Day to the greatest partner.  Love you.

  • Blessing Ivy

    Blessing Ivy

    I recently had the special opportunity to bless Ivy.  Leading up to the blessing, I did some research on the history of blessing children in the Church of Jesus Christ and its significance.  For Ivy’s blessing, Beth put together an event and a description of what a baby blessing is.  Here is that description:

    What is a baby blessing?

    In summary, the naming and blessing of children is a commandment of God. It is proper for a worthy father to name and bless his children. Blessing of children was done during the time of Christ, and it occurred in the early years of the restored Church. The ordinance has become a regular practice followed by Church members ever since.

    Who has the authority to bless a baby?

    A worthy priesthood holder under the direction of the local bishop. It is usually the father or a close family member.

    What is the priesthood?

    The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end. Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.”

    Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel.

    What is the format of a baby blessing?

    When blessing a baby, priesthood holders gather in a circle and place their hands under the baby. When blessing an older child, brethren place their hands lightly on the child’s head. The person who gives the blessing:

    1. Addresses Heavenly Father.

    2. States that the blessing is performed by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

    3. Gives the child a name.

    4. Gives words of blessing as the Spirit directs.

    5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Ivy and Aunt Cambria

    Reading up on the baby blessing beforehand taught me some interesting things about this sacred practice that I would like to share.

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1979/12/i-have-a-question/in-blessing-an-infant-should-both-the-naming-and-blessing-be-addressed-to-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng

    1. Unique to giving a blessing to an older child or adult, the naming and blessing of a child is directed to Heavenly Father like prayers are. 
      • This could be because the baby is too young to understand the words directed to him or her. 
    2. It appears that Melchizedek Priesthood holders are authorized to more than ask for a blessing but are able to pronounce a blessing upon the child directly, as the spirit directs.
      • See D&C 20:70
      • Sometimes inspiration (or confidence) to pronounce/give a blessing does not come.  In this case it is of course acceptable to ask Heavenly Father for these blessings.  I believe this is how I felt in giving Ivy her blessing.  It was enough to ask Heavenly Father to bless her with my requests.
    3. It is a commandment to name and bless infants.
      • See again D&C 20:70
      • It is important to remember the naming and blessing of children is not a saving ordinance.  It is still an important and sacred moment seen in heaven.
    4. “It is an awesome responsibility to be a priesthood agent of the Lord, to act in his behalf, and to approximate in one’s words and doings what the Lord would do if he were here.  A father, especially, who is to bless his child, has the delight and responsibility to prepare himself beforehand by pondering and by fasting and prayer, that he may be sensitive to the suggestions of the Spirit when giving the blessing.”
      • “How blessed we are to be able to present our little ones before the Lord, our families and the Church, and then consecrate them to the Lord.  How blessed we are to be able to name them, plead over, pray for, and, yes, to bless them directly and personally in harmony with our finest desires for them, by the authorization and wisdom of heaven.”

    The below points were taken from this link:

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/12/i-have-a-question/why-is-the-naming-and-blessing-of-a-child-important?lang=eng

    1. An interesting account from Joseph Smith on March 13, 1843 says, “Twenty-seven children were blessed, nineteen of whom I blessed myself, with great fervency.  Virtue went out of me, and my strength left me…”
      • “[The next day] Elder Jedediah M. Grant enquired of me the cause of my turning pale and losing strength last night while blessing children.  I told him that I saw that Lucifer would exert his influence to destroy the children that I was blessing, and I strove with all the faith and spirit that I had to seal upon them a blessing that would secure their lives upon the earth; and so much virtue went out of me into the children, that I became weak, from which I have not yet recovered; and I referred to the case of the woman touching the hem of the garment of Jesus. (Luke 8).” (History of the Church, 5:303.)
      • Elder John Taylor said the Savior’s example of blessing children “should be studiously complied with without hesitancy or objection” (by priesthood holders).
      • We see that Joseph Smith followed the example of the Savior who blessed children in both Israel and the American continent.  (Mark 10:14-16 and 3 Nephi 17).  What an amazing and marvelous thought:  our virtue can be passed to our children.  Our blessings are a force Satan must reckon with.  It makes me want to bless my daughter daily.  It also adds insight to a scripture that has always been a bit puzzling in Luke 8:46.  Virtue can literally leave us to help others.
    2. The new name:
      • A new name is often involved when a covenant relationship is formed.
      • When Adam and Eve were given dominion over the earth, Adam named all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20).
      • God blessed them and named Adam after giving him a body (Genesis 5:2).
      • When we get baptized we follow a similar pattern, taking upon us a new name, the name of Christ.
      • Temple covenants also involve the giving and receiving of names.
    3. The responsibility of blessing a child is bestowed, ideally, on he who helped create that child’s body, and who Heavenly Father entrusted His child with in mortality.
      • Joseph F. Smith – “The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity.  There is, then, a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and authority in the households of the people of God and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children.  In the home, the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount…This authority carries with it a responsibility, and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men cannot be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization.”

    It is my experience that giving blessings is often the closest I ever feel to Heavenly Father.  I can feel him speaking through me and it is always a powerful, emotional, and memorable experience.  The opportunity to bless my daughter will be one of the greatest moments of my life.  I have immense gratitude to my Heavenly Father for entrusting Ivy into my care, allowing me to name her, and trusting me to watch over and protect her in this life and through eternity.

  • Facing Death

    Facing Death

    “We need to wait for a helicopter.  It’s 2 hours by road to the nearest hospital.  You might have internal bleeding in your brain.  You might die before we could get you there.” 

    I was in the back of an ambulance for the first time.  It’s an interesting thing to wonder if you’re being melodramatic about dying and then being told by an EMT that you might die.  It becomes a real possibility, if it wasn’t already. 

    My family rented ATVs over the weekend.  We rented a cabin and stayed in Duck Creek, near Cedar City, Utah.  We had the ATVs for four hours.  My family went out first while Beth and I stayed at the cabin with Ivy.  Then Beth and I swapped in for my mom and sister. 

    There were nine of us total and three ATVs.  Two of the ATVs held four people and one of them held two.  When Beth and I swapped in I drove with Beth in the front seat, my dad and brother in the back seat.  We drove to Mammoth caves and explored.  After 30 or so minutes looking at the caves, we went back to the ATVs to off road for our last 90 minutes before the ATVs had to be returned. 

    Moments before the accident

    Beth hadn’t driven so we made her drive.  My brother Garrick and his girlfriend Arielle rode in the back.  We reminded Beth that if you’re not flipping the ATV you’re not trying.  My uncle Jon led in the two-seater and my brother Dresdan drove the other four-seater behind them.  We took up the rear so Beth could go at her own pace and not feel the pressure of Dresdan bearing down on her.

    I had one glove off because I was eating airheads from my pocket. Beth was driving as cautiously as expected and the other two vehicles got ahead of us.  I had a thought cross my mind: ‘I bet it would be safer to have no seatbelt on.  It would probably be safer to be thrown out of this thing than stuck and crushed inside of it.’  I did have my seatbelt on.  That thought I had was undoubtedly wrong.

    I’ll describe what I remember next.  Then I’ll tell the whole story from the perspective of those who stayed conscious throughout. 

    We were coming up on a turn.  We were not going that fast.  I had driven with much more reckless abandon when I was behind the wheel.  We came up on this turn and Beth began to break and then we started to tip.

    The next thing I remember was feeling pinned down and stuck.  I couldn’t see anything.  But I was stuck.  My arm couldn’t move.  I believe I started yelling.

    The next thing I remember was the feeling of flipping over.

    I still couldn’t see anything. 

    The next thing I remember was hearing crying and screaming from Beth.  I told her I was going to be ok.  It was going to be ok.  I still couldn’t see anything.

    The next thing I remember was moving.  Jon was in the driver’s seat next to me.  Someone was behind me holding something down firmly on my head. 

    It is fascinating how the brain works in moments of trauma.  How was I thinking so clearly?

    I asked if an ambulance was called and was told yes.  It occurred to me, we drove way out into these trails.  We were at least 30 minutes from anything.  I asked who was behind me.  Dresdan.  It crossed my mind: the firmer whatever is on my head is being pressed down, the more likely I am to survive.  I asked Dresdan to push down harder.  He did, and it hurt.  I asked him to push down less hard.  I put my hand up and held it myself and asked Dresdan to support on top of my hand.  I felt him start checking my neck and spine with his other hand.  I put my right, gloved hand out the window and started flexing my fingers.  I was tapping my legs repeatedly.  I was acutely aware of the importance of staying awake.

    I was staring through the windshield and thought I saw a crack.  I stared harder and realized there was no crack, my vision was getting blurry.  I was so tired.  I told Jon and Dresdan that my vision was getting blurry and I was very tired.  I told Dresdan to talk to me.  He said something to me, and I can’t remember what it was.  It wasn’t a conversation starter.  I put my hand on Jon’s leg and squeezed.  He put his hand on mine and held it.  I asked Dresdan about the book I’d given him to read.  He told me it was good and that I’d really like the one he gave me for Christmas.  I talked about the book he had just read briefly, then got quiet.  I was awake enough.

    I asked Dresdan to give me a blessing.  It was too loud.  He would have to yell it.  The talking I’d already done had made my head throb.  I asked him to quietly give me a priesthood blessing. 

    I’ve always wondered how I would react at the prospect of death. It’s easy to say you don’t fear dying but what about when you actually might die?

    I’ve always hoped there would be no fear, just faith.

    On a destroyed ATV, soaked in my own blood, I learned the answer.  I wasn’t afraid to die.  While I wasn’t afraid to die something kept coming to my mind on repeat.  My daughter is 6 weeks old.  I want to see her again.  Beth was driving, she can’t live with this guilt.  I love my daughter more than anything in the world, I need to see her again.  I love Beth so much and can’t have her live with this pain.  I want to see my daughter again.  I love my wife. 

    Beth’s cries in that moment of blackness were in my mind.  I could hear her grief.  Could she live with this?  I might die.  Probably not.  I was conscious.  I was awake.  Dresdan was keeping pressure on the wound.  I would be fine.

    But what if I wasn’t?

    In that moment I confirmed what I’d always known.  The two most important things in this world are God and family.  In that moment I prayed relentlessly.  I believe the blessing and my prayers kept me awake.  What else mattered in that moment but God and my family?

    Nothing.

    I wanted to see my mom again, I wanted to see my dad again, I wanted to see my brothers and sisters.  More than anything I wanted to see Ivy again.  It hit me, maybe I wouldn’t.  I realized, just in case, I should say something that needed to be said.  I told Jon he had to tell Beth that I was ok, and it wasn’t her fault.  It was an accident. 

    We came to a crossroads in the trail.  I remembered where we had come from and told Jon.  Adie and Jared drove up in the two-seater and told Jon to follow them to the main road.

    We got out to a main street and started driving.  We came to an intersection and there was the ambulance.  We pulled into a dirt lot.  I was surrounded by people I didn’t know.  I was asked a lot of questions.  They cut my clothes off of me and told me not to move my neck if I could help it.  I was able to get my seatbelt off.  They asked if I could get to the stretcher.  I said I could with some help.  I took the couple steps to the stretcher and they buckled me in.  As I was taken to the ambulance, I saw Beth.  Her eye was extremely swollen.  She said she was ok.  I was put into the ambulance.

    This is where our story started.  The EMT told me I might die.

    Oh.

    Ok.

    It was real then.

    Still no fear.  Maybe that’s natural.  Maybe the panic and shock takes precedence.  I don’t know, I’ve only almost died this one time.  The main EMT was a young blond guy. I asked him,  “Are you a member of the church, you know, we’re in Utah right?”

    He told me he wasn’t, he was raised in the church but had distanced himself from it.  We had a conversation about the comfort I felt having that hope.  He told me that hope was a powerful thing.  He told me that hope told me that even if I died today, I would see my daughter again.  He told me the other EMT in the ambulance was a member of the church.

    I was told we had to wait for a helicopter.  The drive was too long.  I might die on the way.  We had to wait.  I was tapping my toes repeatedly.  I was doing it to stay awake.  I asked the EMT, Aidan, if it was ok.  He said it was a panic response, my anxiety was high.  He said it was natural, but if I could take some deep breaths and calm my body, that would help.

    I haven’t been meditating all this time for nothing.

    I took a few deep breaths and felt my body relax.  He said my vitals (I don’t know, blood pressure?) improved and I was looking good.

    They asked if I wanted my clothes that they’d cut off thrown out.  I told them my garment top was there and it needed to be disposed of properly.  Every person I saw from then on got the message that my garment top was present, and it was important it went with me.

    The helicopter arrived and I was airlifted to the hospital.  I asked the man sitting with me in the helicopter if he was a member of the church.  He said he was just Christian.  I told him we were part of the same family.  He said he loves to discuss the differences.  Oh, if I could have gotten his phone number.

    In the ambulance they gave me pain medicine.  What a difference that made.  I was also told it was ok to sleep.  I don’t know if I slept, I’m sure I at least dozed off.

    At one point the man nudged me and told me we were going over Zion.  I turned my head best I could and looked out.  My first helicopter ride could have been better.  Wasn’t the worst, though.

    I arrived at the hospital and was wheeled in.

    I can’t emphasize enough how kind every person was to me.

    From Aidan, the first person I saw at the ambulance, to the helicopter, to the hospital.  Every person treated me with love.

    The next bit is a blur, so much happened.

    I was given more pain medicine, my skull was numbed, they tried as best they could to clean out the wound in my head and arm, I did x-rays and a CT scan.

    At one point a nurse told me something I did not want to hear.  She tried to see if I wanted to hear it and I misunderstood and got much more information than I wanted.  She could see my skull.  Cool.

    Eventually they determined I didn’t need surgery.  Everything was good.  They could staple me up.

    The doctor counted 51 staples in my head, I counted 52.  He said it wasn’t often they had to use a whole stapler.  I was released the same day.

    Sounds like it wasn’t that bad, right?  You should see me now.  My head has been leaking for three straight days and my shoulder is pretty morbid.  I’ll put some pictures at the bottom for the sickos in the audience. 

    It all ended up being fine.  I lived.  I’m fine.

    I should have died. If a couple things didn’t happen I wouldn’t have survived. 

    The parts that you (and I) missed.  Apparently when the ATV flipped, my brother who was sitting back and to the left of me saw my body.  He thought I was literally drowning in a pool of my blood.

    The other two ATVs had stopped.  They said something about knowing that was a slippery turn and wanting to wait.  If the other two ATVs had gone on, I’m almost sure I would have died.  Them stopping was the difference between me bleeding out in a tipped over ATV and living.

    I firmly believe that I am protected by angels.  Not just that day, but every day.  I tell Beth often that God won’t take me a minute sooner than is my time.  I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that angels resided with me that day.  I know the others were prompted by the spirit to stay.  They were feet away when we flipped.

    It is difficult to get a group of 8 people to do anything in a quick and organized fashion.  Set aside the panic and fear that might have set in.  I’ve never been more proud of my family than when I heard the steps they took to save my life. 

    My brother-in-law Jared heard me yelling and thought I was crushed.  Every male in the group, my dad, Jon, Garrick, Dresdan, Jared and Easton immediately grabbed the ATV and flipped it over.  Jon got in to drive.  Dresdan got in behind me to keep pressure on my head.  I learned later that Easton was in my ATV also. 

    Adie and Jared jumped in the two person ATV and drove off to get cell reception to call an ambulance.

    The others got in the other ATV.  Initially they were going to drive ahead also.  Someone realized, since the other ATV had flipped, it might have an issue driving.  They drove behind us the whole way in case the ATV I was still seat-belted into broke down.

    Can you believe that?  In minutes, every person in my family did exactly what was necessary.  Without a moment’s hesitation they saved me.

    The doctors at the hospital told me they couldn’t believe I still had my right arm.  They told me they’d seen a ton of these accidents and almost every time the person’s arm is destroyed or gone.  They said if I’d reached out my arm would be gone.  I think the airhead I was eating might have played a part in saving my arm.

    God and family.

    It’s weird to look back on nearly dying.

    I’m amazed at the peace I could feel in what should have been a terrifying moment.  I knew if I was meant to die, I would.  The only thing that mattered to me was that my wife knew I loved her and it absolutely, positively, was not her fault.

    Leaving Ivy would have hurt.  It would have hurt.  It would have hurt.  It would have hurt.  But I know that she would have been so loved.

    I know what’s important in this life.  I’m grateful for trials and scary moments to reaffirm what I know.

    God and family.

    To all those that have prayed for me, thank you.

    To the Hollerbach’s, thank you for sending us food the night we drove back from Utah.

    Beth has been off the charts amazing since the accident.  She is currently caring for a newborn and someone with a traumatic head injury.  She drove us back from Utah, 7 hours, the very next day.  I just wanted to get home.

    Ivy slept the entire way.  We had to wake her for the two stops to feed her.  She would get back in her car seat and zonk out.  God has blessed me with so much.

    I feel it necessary, because Ivy will read this one day, to say something to her.

    To my sweet girl when you were born my world stopped revolving around the sun.  When I thought I might die, you were my first thought.  I hope you never doubt how much I love you.  You and your mom are the most important things in the world to me.  Never doubt it.  Because I did come close the other day.  I know what’s important.  I love you, Ivy.  I love my family and I can’t say enough how grateful I am for them.

    God and family.

    The pictures below are kind of gross. View them at your own risk. I’ll keep the pictures I wish I never saw private.

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