No Coincidences

Tag: eternity

  • Wedding

    Wedding

    I don’t think many of my posts will be as similar to a journal entry as this one.  I have many topics I want to touch on that I’ve thought a long time about writing about.  This topic is very current and happening in my life.  Therefore, I want to write about it now, while it holds so much significance.

    I’m getting married in 19 days.  I don’t want to write about the stress of it and all that because really, who cares?  (Oh, by the way, if my fiancé asks, I CARE!)

    I want to talk about certain reactions I’ve gotten to getting married soon.  On multiple occasions this conversation has happened:

    “So, the wedding is coming up, how are you feeling?”

    Me – “Nervous, just want to get it over with.”

    “Yeah, having second thoughts?”

    Me – “Uhm..no.  Just nervous about the day and the event and the planning and making sure it all goes right for her. “

    I’ve had that reaction from multiple different people.  Why is their first thought always that I’m having second thoughts about it?  It’s scary and it’s a big commitment but I’m marrying my best friend.  The most kind, beautiful, loving, patient, understanding, smart person I’ve ever met.  When I go to work I wish she could come with me.  When I play basketball, I want her to be there, watching.  When she is doing something so mundane, it becomes bearable because I’m with her.  Yes, I’m scared and nervous.  That mostly comes from wanting to never disappoint her.  The truth is, I’m not that worried about her.  She’s going to be the most amazing wife there ever was.  I’m more worried about being the husband she deserves.

    Here’s the test. Can I write a short entry… looks like no.  I must now get into the bigger, societal implications of these responses from other married and single men. Why is this the reaction? The issue is that we think marriage is disposable and love is something you can fall out of. 

    I will begin to tread lightly at this point because I am far from a master of love.  In fact, if you don’t want to risk getting bad advice, you may want to just tune out now.  Or better yet, go back to where I almost concluded and just think, ‘huh, nice post,’ and move on to the next one. 

    If I’ve learned something from my parents, as I’ve gotten older, it’s that marriage isn’t easy.  As a child, I was blissfully unaware of any marital unrest.  Now, I see tension and issues more clearly.  That being said, my parents are the most amazing example of love I’ve ever seen.  I understand how blessed I am to have an example of love so close to me.  They are best friends.  My dad doesn’t want to do anything without my mom.  I’ve always seen that, and it’s had a profound impact on me.

    As I got older I realized more how hard it is.  It’s not easy for my parents; it’s not easy for anyone.  Feelings get hurt.  That person starts chewing REALLY loud.  They tell the same story over and over.  But love isn’t something that falls away.  It’s a choice.  You choose to put your feelings aside because you hope they didn’t mean to hurt you, you accept their loud chewing, you act like it’s the first time you’ve heard that same, stupid story.

    Our Bishop gave us one piece of advice I hope I never forget.  He said, “If you both try your hardest, always to make the other happy, you’ll have the happiest marriage in the world.”  Of course, that’s easier said than done.  My fiancé and I have already run into how tenuous a concept that can be (maybe a post for another day).  But we’re trying.  And I love her.  I wish I could exhibit as much love to her as she deserves. Right now I know I’m not.  Over time, I plan to become better and I plan to love her the way she deserves.  I know today I’m not close to the husband she deserves.  I hope to one day be.

    Marriage isn’t something to throw away when it gets stale.  It’s something to preserve and fight for.  Marriages until death do you part are great, but I am so excited to be married for time and all eternity.  I can’t imagine the work I’m about to put into this relationship to love it and let it grow and flourish into a connection welded in steel, for it to be over once this life is over.  “They twain (separate, apart) shall be one flesh” (Mark 10:8).

    I’ll conclude with a quote from a book I loved,

    “To me marriage must be eternal!  How could it be otherwise when two grow together and become as one?  Death can not separate them without destroying; they are no longer two perfect beings, but one in soul and spirit forever.”

    Rebecca Ruter Springer (My Dream of Heaven)
  • Fear

    Fear

    I was reading Jacob chapter 4 in the Book of Mormon recently and something struck me.  One small statement in one verse:

    “Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you; if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you.”

    Let me repeat that…

    “…if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my over anxiety for you.”

    How could Jacob, the great prophet and brother of Nephi, be shaken from his firmness in the Spirit?  He says right there at the end – anxiety for you.

    I’d like to expound upon an emotion that can really and truly harm us – fear.

    Jacob is clear with this statement. Fear can shake us from the Spirit, from revelation, from God. 

    Fear is a tool of Satan.  I feel a need to write this right now.  The world is increasingly fearful.  At this moment, amid this virus, fear is rampant.  Satan reigns. The Earth is his kingdom.  He has put fear into the hearts of almost all men and women.

    We see it everywhere.  Just look at the empty shelves in the grocery store.

    What other examples of fear do we have in scripture?

    There was Moses with the Israelites at the Red Sea with Pharaoh bearing down on them.  The Israelites feared and Moses told them, “Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, The Lord shall fight for you.”  The Lord then spoke to Moses, “Speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward.”

    There was Alma the Younger as told in the Book of Mormon. He was gripped by fear and despair.  He thought of that one name, that one being that could save him. Jesus Christ.  Immediately, he was released from his despair.

    Satan immediately attacked Moses after his great vision of eternity.  Moses 1:20 reads,

    “And it came to pass that Moses began to fear exceedingly; and as he began to fear he saw the bitterness of hell.  NEVERTHELESS, calling upon God, he received strength.”

    Finally, there was Joseph Smith in a quiet, peaceful grove.  Satan came for him and he feared.  But Joseph fought and called upon God.  As the light of God and Jesus Christ descended upon Joseph the darkness retreated.

    Notice the pattern here.  Satan has a tendency to attack before great things are to happen.  So, when you feel that fear and it feels like the jaws of hell are opening to overtake you, and you just can’t take anymore because it has become too much to bear, remember the light that will follow.  Once Satan starts his all-out attack we will know the earth-shattering miracles are coming.  Satan is attacking.  Light is coming.

    I feel it’s important for us to keep our hope.  Recently, amidst all this craziness, I had a moment of fear.  My heart was beating and I was worrying about the future.  Then I stopped.  I reminded myself that I have known these sorts of events were coming.  I’ve been blessed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ to know that these events have been foretold for thousands of years.  I’m not saying this is the end. But if it were, what does that mean?  It means Christ is coming back. 

    DO NOT let fear overtake you.  Whatever point in history we’re at, whatever is next, we know we’ll be okay.  We know it will work out the way God intends. What a comfort that is.

    Fear is of Satan, not of God.  If we let fear overtake us, we are letting Satan overtake us.

    Even if a gun is to your head, take comfort.  Because of Christ’s eternal atonement and sacrifice you can always take comfort.  The worst case is you return to your Maker and see your Savior.  In these times, don’t forget the most important thing.  Don’t forget Him. Don’t deny Him.  Christ never denied you.  The WORST thing that could happen is going home to Him.  Is that really the worst thing?  Take comfort, and fight fear.  Don’t let Satan win your heart.  Now, more than ever, we must be strong, faithful, and keep hope.  Keep Christ in your heart.  When that fear intrudes, kneel and pray. 

    You will feel Him and fear will leave.  I promise.

    Fear not, the Lord fights for you.  Move forward with faith.  Look to Christ as your salvation.  Call upon God and you will receive strength.

    ___________

    There’s a comment section below. I’d really like to hear from you. Please leave any thoughts, input, or experiences. If you liked it, please feel free to share. Thanks!