Ivy is the first grandchild on both sides. Ivy has 13 aunts and uncles. She has two sets of grandparents who, while around her, make no qualms about her being the princess of the universe and most important thing to ever come to earth. As I watch her with family, I’m blown away by the amount of love. She is loved so much. Beth and I love her so much. See The Greatest Moment of My Life Every Day for further evidence.
I wonder how much this love positively impacts Ivy’s future. How much does it impact the person she will become?
As I watch her, something occurred to me recently. I was surrounded by this same love growing up. I wasn’t the first grandchild on either side, but I was surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and grandparents that loved and adored me. Love was poured out upon me without measure as a baby. Not only was I loved by those I could see, but I was made to know that God and so many I couldn’t see also loved and cared about me.
While watching Ivy, it occurred to me how lucky and blessed I was to be surrounded by all that love.
How much was I positively impacted by the love I was surrounded by? How much did it shape who I am today?
Not all children are given this great gift.
It was a humbling thought. It’s humbling to consider all that I’ve been given. If I ever get prideful about any good qualities I may have, I can quickly look at all the attention, direction, and love I’ve been given in my life and realize there is nothing to be prideful of. I have been afforded much.
This used to be a daunting scripture. Now it is a great responsibility, and a great blessing.
As I’ve gotten older, I have become more aware of how blessed I was to be raised with the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. That is why I write this blog. That is why I try to talk to friends, family, coworkers, etc. about the Book of Mormon. That’s why I share my testimony of Jesus Christ.
I am grateful for The Family A Proclamation to the World for what is teaches authoritatively and without reservation about the importance of the family unit. My family unit has blessed my life in so many ways. I wish every child could be loved like I was, like I still am, like Ivy is.
God expects me to share the love I’ve been given. Not in a prideful way, but with a humble recognition of how lucky I truly am.
The two great commandments are to love and to love. When you receive love, you must give love. That’s what God asks from us.
Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of my Aunt Laura passing away. Laura was an inspiration to everyone she met. She had a profound impact on my life.
I want to share a little about her and why she was so special.
Laura was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger. As long as I can remember, Laura had cancer. When I first found out, it was scary, but I was young and didn’t understand. When Laura was still there year after year I really didn’t understand. What was so scary? She clearly wasn’t going anywhere, she was as healthy as ever. I’m pretty sure within a year of her first being diagnosed my next memory of Laura was her, my mom, and another aunt going on a sling shot carnival ride. I remember thinking, “clearly she’s ok.”
It wasn’t until I was older that I learned and better understood what Laura went through for many years. She was diagnosed with cancer at a young age, I believe she was 28. She wasn’t expected to live too long. It’s amazing to think that I’m 30 now. Two years older than she was when she was told she wouldn’t have much longer to live. I feel invincible every day. Death is not something that crosses my mind (see Facing Death for the exception to the rule). The thought of truly coming to terms with my mortality tomorrow is daunting.
Cancer made Laura live life with a fervor that was powerful to witness. She lived every moment to its fullest. She went to school to get (more) degrees, she travelled, she wrote, she served. She spent every moment in the most worthwhile way.
When I would visit her, I would want to relax, watch movies, read. She was a big fan of reading, but relaxing, watching movies? Not going to happen. I’ll share a story I told at her funeral.
It was 2011 and I was visiting Utah. I was staying with Laura and my Uncle Jon for a few days. See You Sent a Dog to Comfort a Boy and Jonah and the Whale posts for more details on this all-important trip in my life. Laura used a pass she had for me to do a free skiing class. I had never been on snow with a board or skis in any capacity. After the class we were able to go up the mountain. Remember, this is my first time ever on skis. We’re going up and I’m seeing signs about diamonds and circles and squares. I don’t know what it all means. Laura explains Black Diamonds are the hardest. We’re heading towards a Black Diamond. I don’t even know how to get off a ski lift.
Garrick and Laura skiing
I voiced some concern about this, and she told me to quit worrying, I’d be fine. So, my first time ever on a mountain and I’m doing Black Diamonds. How could I possibly argue? Here’s my aunt in her 40’s daring me to say something so she could call me all sorts of wimpy and scared.
We started down the mountain and I was having a rough go. I was up and down constantly. I was spending more time on my back than on my skis. I hadn’t mastered stopping yet so whenever I gained speed I would fall to keep from losing control. Laura, meanwhile, was the epitome of consistency. Left to right… left to right… slow and steady. She’d get way ahead of me then stop and watch me clumsily fall down the mountain.
When we finished, I was exhilarated. It was the most fun I’d ever had. I loved the mountain. We were driving home and I called my mom. I excitedly told her about the day. When I mentioned Laura and I went down the mountain together she yelled over the speaker, “Moofy you what?!?!” Moofy was Laura’s nickname. I learned that Laura had recently had pelvic surgery on her pelvic bone that had shattered. I don’t think she was supposed to leave the house. Her consistent nature down the mountain was partly to protect her frail bones from any potential impact from falling. In fact, if she fell, she likely would have broken multiple bones.
I learned something that day that I’ll never forget. Laura was consistent, smooth, never wavering. She was steadfast until the end. She was always an example of strength and perseverance. They were qualities I admired in her. The other thing I learned was that Aunt Laura was never going to let anything slow her down. She didn’t care if she was supposed to stay in bed, she wanted to ski with her nephew. No wonder she had no sympathy for my worry about Black Diamonds. I was young, healthy, the worst that was going to happen to me was a sore backside by the end. She had the real possibility of a shattered bone with any fall. What did I have to worry about?
That is one of my fondest memories. Laura taught me so much and I’m forever grateful for the example she was to me. It brings me so much comfort to know she’s now moved on from my angel here on earth to my guardian angel in heaven. I know she’s very busy up there because someone with her will, faith, and drive is being put to work by Heavenly Father. But, in times when I’m in the most need, I will pray for Heavenly Father to spare her for a brief moment to be with and comfort me. When I make this request, it warms my heart to know she’s quickly coming to my side. I am excited to one day see her again and thank her for all she did for me here.
Love you, Aunt Laura.
Rest in peace doesn’t work for you so instead I’ll say, keep busy, and I’ll see you soon.
I recently had the special opportunity to bless Ivy. Leading up to the blessing, I did some research on the history of blessing children in the Church of Jesus Christ and its significance. For Ivy’s blessing, Beth put together an event and a description of what a baby blessing is. Here is that description:
What is a baby blessing?
In summary, the naming and blessing of children is a commandment of God. It is proper for a worthy father to name and bless his children. Blessing of children was done during the time of Christ, and it occurred in the early years of the restored Church. The ordinance has become a regular practice followed by Church members ever since.
Who has the authority to bless a baby?
A worthy priesthood holder under the direction of the local bishop. It is usually the father or a close family member.
What is the priesthood?
The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end. Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.”
Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel.
What is the format of a baby blessing?
When blessing a baby, priesthood holders gather in a circle and place their hands under the baby. When blessing an older child, brethren place their hands lightly on the child’s head. The person who gives the blessing:
1. Addresses Heavenly Father.
2. States that the blessing is performed by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.
3. Gives the child a name.
4. Gives words of blessing as the Spirit directs.
5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.
Ivy and Aunt Cambria
Reading up on the baby blessing beforehand taught me some interesting things about this sacred practice that I would like to share.
Unique to giving a blessing to an older child or adult, the naming and blessing of a child is directed to Heavenly Father like prayers are.
This could be because the baby is too young to understand the words directed to him or her.
It appears that Melchizedek Priesthood holders are authorized to more than ask for a blessing but are able to pronounce a blessing upon the child directly, as the spirit directs.
Sometimes inspiration (or confidence) to pronounce/give a blessing does not come. In this case it is of course acceptable to ask Heavenly Father for these blessings. I believe this is how I felt in giving Ivy her blessing. It was enough to ask Heavenly Father to bless her with my requests.
It is important to remember the naming and blessing of children is not a saving ordinance. It is still an important and sacred moment seen in heaven.
“It is an awesome responsibility to be a priesthood agent of the Lord, to act in his behalf, and to approximate in one’s words and doings what the Lord would do if he were here. A father, especially, who is to bless his child, has the delight and responsibility to prepare himself beforehand by pondering and by fasting and prayer, that he may be sensitive to the suggestions of the Spirit when giving the blessing.”
“How blessed we are to be able to present our little ones before the Lord, our families and the Church, and then consecrate them to the Lord. How blessed we are to be able to name them, plead over, pray for, and, yes, to bless them directly and personally in harmony with our finest desires for them, by the authorization and wisdom of heaven.”
An interesting account from Joseph Smith on March 13, 1843 says, “Twenty-seven children were blessed, nineteen of whom I blessed myself, with great fervency. Virtue went out of me, and my strength left me…”
“[The next day] Elder Jedediah M. Grant enquired of me the cause of my turning pale and losing strength last night while blessing children. I told him that I saw that Lucifer would exert his influence to destroy the children that I was blessing, and I strove with all the faith and spirit that I had to seal upon them a blessing that would secure their lives upon the earth; and so much virtue went out of me into the children, that I became weak, from which I have not yet recovered; and I referred to the case of the woman touching the hem of the garment of Jesus. (Luke 8).” (History of the Church, 5:303.)
Elder John Taylor said the Savior’s example of blessing children “should be studiously complied with without hesitancy or objection” (by priesthood holders).
We see that Joseph Smith followed the example of the Savior who blessed children in both Israel and the American continent. (Mark 10:14-16 and 3 Nephi 17). What an amazing and marvelous thought: our virtue can be passed to our children. Our blessings are a force Satan must reckon with. It makes me want to bless my daughter daily. It also adds insight to a scripture that has always been a bit puzzling in Luke 8:46. Virtue can literally leave us to help others.
The new name:
A new name is often involved when a covenant relationship is formed.
When Adam and Eve were given dominion over the earth, Adam named all the animals (Genesis 2:19-20).
When we get baptized we follow a similar pattern, taking upon us a new name, the name of Christ.
Temple covenants also involve the giving and receiving of names.
The responsibility of blessing a child is bestowed, ideally, on he who helped create that child’s body, and who Heavenly Father entrusted His child with in mortality.
Joseph F. Smith – “The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity. There is, then, a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and authority in the households of the people of God and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of his children. In the home, the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount…This authority carries with it a responsibility, and a grave one, as well as its rights and privileges, and men cannot be too exemplary in their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God-ordained rule of conduct in the family organization.”
It is my experience that giving blessings is often the closest I ever feel to Heavenly Father. I can feel him speaking through me and it is always a powerful, emotional, and memorable experience. The opportunity to bless my daughter will be one of the greatest moments of my life. I have immense gratitude to my Heavenly Father for entrusting Ivy into my care, allowing me to name her, and trusting me to watch over and protect her in this life and through eternity.
What do you think the point of organized religion is?
I had an obvious realization recently, only recently. The point of organized religion is to bring you closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. If organized religion doesn’t bring you closer to God, then why do it? I think it’s why we see so many people disenfranchised with organized religion. In their hearts and souls, they know and hope what organized religion will bring – closeness with God. When it doesn’t do that (and in fact sometimes does the opposite) they move away from it.
The second point of organized religion: to bring us peace.
This second part isn’t as simple as “I belong to a church so I am happy and peaceful.” We know that Christianity is not always comfortable. This peace is bigger than worldly comfort. This peace is the knowledge that you are right with God. This peace is more eternal than this life.
Why don’t organized religions do these two things? Some do, and I’m not discounting those who come closer to God and find peace in any faith. My point stands, that a lot of people have moved away from organized religion. Why? Why don’t most organized churches bring us closer to God or bring us peace? They don’t have the proper authority from heaven to do so.
God, through revelation has told us exactly what we need to do to come closer to Him and to have peace:
Faith in Jesus Christ
Start by simply believing in Jesus Christ. Believe He was born, believe He lived, believe He is the son of God, believe He died for you and your sins.
Repentance
Once you believe, be better. Don’t take for granted the suffering Christ went through for you. Pray to God and ask forgiveness for the mistakes you have made and continue to make.
Baptism
Religion has corrupted this simple principle. All God asks is you make a symbolic gesture to show that you have faith in Him, faith in Jesus Christ, and will remember them. Then use that show of faith to change and be better. God has asked us to be baptized. Follow His commandments and be baptized.
Gift of the Holy Ghost
The world is ever distracting and evil. God has given us someone to provide strength. The Holy Ghost is one with God and Jesus Christ and can be with us always.
I have the perfect example to help illustrate the important role the Holy Ghost plays. I received a text from a friend one afternoon while I was working telling me his dad had passed away. My friend didn’t want me to find out over social media, so he texted me. When I read it I initially thought selfishly. I was at work. There wasn’t anything I could do. I wanted to kneel and pray and cry. But as I was sitting there something happened. As clear as if a person whispered in my ear, I heard and felt a message. Clear as day I knew important things. This was my friend. He was hurting. Clear as day, “go to your friend.” I’m not affectionate, it’s hard for me, ask my wife. Beth knows that better than anyone. It’s not in my nature to want to go comfort and cry with a friend. That seems hard and vulnerable. But in that very important moment I know the Holy Ghost came to me and directed me. I know it was important for me, and I believe it was important for my friend. The Holy Ghost did that. I know that because I’ve worked so hard to be able to hear when the Holy Ghost speaks to me. I have so many examples of that. I could go on for days about the important moments that the Holy Ghost guided me.
After the Holy Ghost, the final step: endure to the end. Take the sacrament each week to renew your covenants from baptism. Repent every day. Remember Jesus Christ every day. That’s it. That brings you closer to God. I know because it has for me.
People don’t change overnight. I know to many it seemed like I changed overnight. I didn’t. It was years of slowly changing habits, changing thoughts. Many saw first-hand who I used to be but didn’t see the slow, gradual change to who I am now. I always told myself I was “good.” What good was me telling myself I was good if my actions and my selfishness said otherwise? Four years ago, if I received the text I mentioned above I would have said “I’m sorry” and “let me know if you need anything.” Today, I’m different. I’m different because of Jesus Christ.
What’s important? I know why I’m here. I know where I come from. I know where I’m going. This brings peace.
I was 21 years old. I’d been couch surfing for a full year and starting to ask the serious questions. What was next? Was this me? Was there more for me to do? What do I do?
Sensing the end of my ‘no attachment to anything’ days I decided I needed to take advantage of my freedom while I still possessed it. No serious girlfriend, no serious job, no prospects for a serious job.
I decided to take a trip to the homeland. I packed up my teal ’98 Pontiac Sunfire and drove to Utah. I stayed with various family members, intending to be there a week tops. Weeks went by. I stayed with a cousin to party, I stayed with an aunt for movies and dinner, I stayed with grandparents for home cooked meals. Everything back then was tinted with selfish motivations.
Eventually I ended up at the home of my Aunt Laura, Uncle Jon, and cousin Sydney.
They had a dog named Bengie. He had been around a while. At this point he must have been around 4 years old. A little puppy-like dog, full of energy.
I stayed in the guest bedroom in the basement. I still don’t know if this was normal for Bengie, but every night I was there, when it came time to go downstairs for bed, he’d saunter down with me. I’d get in bed and he’d lay at my feet. Every night.
This was a soul-searching trip. One of the most spiritual experiences of my life happened in that basement. There were many tears. A lot of growing up and change happened there. Things were thought about that hadn’t been thought about for a long time. Options considered. Prayers said to God that had been avoided for so long. So many feelings and emotions. A post later this week called “Jonah and the Whale” will elaborate on these prayers.
Through all those emotional moments, I remember a dog. Sitting on the bed. Keeping me company. It was like God was saying, in a way my spiritually dimmed and simple brain could understand, “See him. He’s here for you. I brought him here for you.” Multiple times Bengie was hugged, talked to. You know, those weird, talk-to-the-dog-like-he’s-a-person moments. “What am I going to do Bengie? I’m scared.” He would look at me and it was like he knew; it was like he understood.
If ever there was a dog that understood…
I had a lot of comfort from that dog those few days.
So, when the time came that Bengie needed a home; Sydney was going to college and Uncle Jon wasn’t able to keep up with the day to day care of a still energetic, 11-year-old puppy, I jumped at the opportunity. My mom was talking to Jon about taking Bengie in. I asked and was prepared to beg. Let us take Bengie! Beth and I had just gotten married, I had just started coaching so Beth was home for hours and hours on her own.
It felt like the second time God sent just the right person, a dog, to answer not yet uttered prayers.
Today, I tell Beth that Bengie is my best friend, she can take second. Everyone else has fallen behind. Just like those days in that basement bedroom, seemingly alone, I’m never alone long. Any dog lover knows, especially with a velcro dog, he’s always there.
It was only a couple months in to having Bengie. We were at a dog park. As soon as we walked in a playful pit bull took an extreme interest in Bengie. It seemed playful. A small amount of concern set in when the owner of the pit bull quickly intervened, pulling her dog by its harness and dragging it, kicking and screaming, to the other end of the park. Beth and I continued to walk through the park. We were dog-sitting a giant golden doodle that day. So, Archie-the-golden-doodle ran bounding around the perimeter of the park. Bengie did his normal perusing, checking out the hot spots of the area.
Bengie was walking on his own, near no other animals or people. I didn’t go to the dog parks with Beth too often. It wasn’t in my nature to hover protectively over a dog when I did. Maybe something did feel off when we came in with the pit bull and the other dogs, being playful, I thought.
I saw the pit bull sprint right by me. It ran at Bengie. I continued walking towards them. I was maybe 15 feet away. I thought they were going to play. Bengie, not appreciating the sudden surprise charge of a bigger dog immediately got defensive.
It happened really fast. The pit bull bit Bengie around the neck and started swinging him around. I ran and grabbed the harness of the pit bull and yanked him back. Bengie fell out of his mouth. I pulled the pit away as he kept trying to get back to Bengie who was laying on the ground. The owner showed up and was trying to calm her dog. Beth showed up and scooped Bengie off the ground. I didn’t see it happen; all I saw was the blood pouring from the pit owner’s hand. I was lucky I got behind the pit bull. She made the mistake of getting in between a dog and what it now, apparently, deemed prey.
I’ll jump ahead, I don’t want to leave you in too much suspense. Bengie survived. By some miracle the pit bull didn’t get a full grip on his neck. Only one side of him was punctured, the other side of his neck was just grazed. If the pit got a proper grip, there’s no chance Bengie would have survived.
Puncture Wound
The next day was really difficult. Bengie wouldn’t eat or drink. He couldn’t walk, though he tried to. You know, because he couldn’t let us be anywhere in our home alone, even when he was near dying. I don’t know if you’re supposed to bless animals. I don’t think you’re supposed to. I didn’t anoint him with oil. But I held him, and I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed.
I know this will be silly to many. Once upon a time it may have been silly to me. But I love that dog so much. In that moment I felt a tiny glimpse into what it’s like to see a child suffer. I know, I know, he wasn’t a child, I get it. I’m still saying it. I love him like a child, and it was really, really hard to see him so hurt and in so much pain.
I can’t begin to understand, even consider the pain of losing a child. I can’t. I won’t let my mind go there and hope I never have to. I learned a tiny, infinitesimal bit of that pain that day.
Now, as my first daughter makes her way to my life, I realize how much Bengie has taught me.
I like to think I’ve progressed more from a boy to man in these past 9 years. Since those first days with Bengie, when he comforted me. He stayed by my side and slept at my feet. He watched me pray. He was there to look at me, with (I swear it) care in his eyes as I cried questions I had to ask.
One day I’ll write about my Aunt Laura and why she was so special. Bengie was her special companion and comforter through her last years. Beth said something interesting recently. She said, “Sometimes I look at him and think about all the comforting he’s done.” For Laura, for me, for Beth. Aren’t we lucky God has sent us such special friends?
You sent a puppy to comfort a boy. You sent a dog to teach a man.
No Coincidences 