No Coincidences

Tag: god

The Social Dilemma (Netflix)
What is truth?

How do we know?

If you haven’t watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix, watch it as soon as possible. Could end up being the most important documentary of our generation. Given that we are the generation of documentaries, that would make it the most important documentary ever.

Why is this documentary important? Because it’s real and it’s happening now.

What will be the downfall of America? Have we given Civil War enough consideration?

Let’s do a quick thought experiment. What happens if Donald Trump wins the election this November? There will be 165 million mad people. Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

What happens if Joe Biden wins the election in November? There will be 165 million mad people. Mad enough, maybe, to protest, riot, and maybe fight.

Of course, 165 million people is an exaggeration because not everybody is this passionate, or angry, or inflamed about the upcoming election.

Let’s call the number 30 million on each side. Sound much better?

Why is this happening? Why are people always so angry?

There is an increasing gap between what we would deem the “center.” Center of anything. Not overly passionate about one side or the other. I’m not just talking about politics. I’m talking about anything. The middle is gone. The “hear the other side,” “hear them out,” “hear their opinions,” are disappearing. We’re turning into a world of people who think we know everything while not knowing anything.

So much from The Social Dilemma gave me an intense feeling of anxiety. One statistic mentioned was that a study showed lies are spread on the internet/social media 6 times more quickly than truths. What happens if a lie always has a 6x head start on the truth? What happens is what we’re seeing happen. Contention. Hatred. Vitriol. Anger. Confusion. Aggression. Fighting.

This brings me to the most important point.

What is truth?

Can we even know what truth is?

Truth is a concept society is starting to wonder exists. How do we find something our society is starting to believe is a myth?

This is where I turn off all my non-religious friends, but I would ask my non-religious friends: What is your truth? What do you turn to when everything around you is chaos, and confusion, and darkness?

I don’t say this to spread the divide more. I say this to invite others to find truth and make that truth love-based at all costs.

I love God because He loved me first.

What is truth?

God is truth.

He’s my truth. Maybe He isn’t yours. But you must find a truth to hold to dearly. This truth must be centered on love. We’ve seen what hate-filled “truth” results in.

How do we survive in an age of disinformation?

What do we do to protect ourselves?

I think first we follow all the suggestions given during the credits of The Social Dilemma documentary. I will list those here and then add my own suggestions.
1. Uninstall apps from your phone that waste your time.
  - Hint: most of them.
2. Turn off notifications. Especially for anything that vibrates your leg that doesn’t provide an immediate and important alert you need to see at that moment.
3. Use a search engines besides Google.
  - Qwant does not store your search history.
  - DuckDuckGo is another option.
4. Never watch a video recommended to you anywhere: Facebook, Youtube, etc. If it’s not something you went there to search for and to watch, just don’t watch it.
  - Wayyyyy easier said than done (but let’s all try!)
5. Use a Chrome extension to remove recommendations. Below are some options.
  - https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/remove-recommendations-yo/hfnghnjkcpgagjbiheidccjnneoipbmb
  - https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/remove-youtube-recommende/khncfooichmfjbepaaaebmommgaepoid
    I used this second one. Pretty amazing going to Youtube and not being bombarded by videos AI knows I want to watch. Squirrel! Squirrel! Squirrel!
6. Before you share anything online, fact check, consider the source, do the extra research (make sure it is GOOD).
  - If it looks like it’s designed to push your emotional buttons, it probably is. Don’t share it.
7. You vote with your clicks. If you click on clickbate you’re perpetuating the problem. Reward GOOD material.
8. Get different kinds of information.
  - If you are on Twitter, add people who have different opinions from you.
  - Talk to people in the real world about real issues.
  - When you find enough people in the real world to talk to, delete your Twitter.
9. Delete the social media accounts you really don’t need, that you don’t feel are healthy, that are taking you away from life. Delete it and embrace the freedom!
10. Get out of the system.
11. The World is beautiful. Live.
For Families:
1. Don’t give devices to your children. Don’t allow them on social media. Just don’t.
2. Minimal screen time.
  - Set a limit and stick to it. It was suggested to ask your child what they think is a good amount of time to spend looking at a screen each day. Your child will often give a reasonable response.
  - Create that limit and then give rewards for going under it. Set a 7 hour per week limit for screen time and your child spent 6 hours? 1-hour reward is a bowling trip or mini golf outing. I used to love incentives like these as a kid. I hope kids still do.
3. No devices in the bedroom a set amount of time before bedtime. This will also help with sleep because you’re removing blue light which signals to your brain that it’s time to wind down.
  - Here’s a suggestion – read a book instead of your phone!
4. Treat Social Media how Latter-day Saints treat dating – not before 16.
Here are my suggestions. If you can- delete it all. Just do it. I can almost promise you’ll feel better within a couple weeks, after the withdrawals stop.

Me personally, I have a Facebook. I use it so I can share my blog. It’s good to have. I see the use. I’m working on limiting my scrolling down my timeline to zero and especially not watching suggested videos in my feed. Suggested videos inevitably lead me to watching video after video of garbage material.

Another thing that has helped me a ton has been moving the Facebook app from my main page. I have it on page two. That way I’m not constantly slapped in the face by that addictive, dopamine-igniting red alert symbol. I have my Gospel Library on my home screen and if I find myself instinctively (or robotically) looking at my phone I do my best to open the scriptures and read those instead.

I understand all these things are easier said than done. It’s not easy to delete social media. It’s not easy, I get it. I’m right there with you. Technology is so good. It can be used for so much good. Why don’t we start using it for good again?

That brings me to my last point.

My final and most important point. What can we do to make a difference: Share GOOD stuff.

Emphasis on GOOD MATERIAL.

By good material I don’t mean you like it, or it tickled your fancy. I mean it is GOOD. It is wholesome. It is kind. It doesn’t make you explosively emotional but makes you feel gentle in your emotions. I mean good as in the good guided by the spirit. I mean good as in loving. I mean good as in spreading positivity.

I’m guilty like everyone else. I see a post from the Church, and I scroll right through. The AI (artificial intelligence) involved sees that (how scary is that?!). They know I scrolled quickly past something GOOD. We each need to make a conscious effort to spend time on the good stuff. Read the good stuff. Watch the good stuff. If you don’t have good stuff on your Facebook timeline, use AI for good! Go to google and search for Jesus Christ, the scriptures, conference talks, missionary messages. You know how when you search for that cute new jacket for winter and there are suddenly cute winter jackets on your timeline? Works the same way for good stuff. Search for good stuff. You’ll see more good stuff. Spend more time with the good stuff.

This is how we can combat and fight the echo chamber of hatred. This is how we remove political polarization. This is how we remove lies.

In the steps above I mentioned fact-checking what you share. How about this? Spiritually check what you share. Stop. Say a prayer. Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is spreading goodness, positivity, or love. If not, it can be deleted.

I often pray before I write, and I often pray before I share what I write. I always hope what I write is guided by something bigger and better than me.

Spiritually check everything you do online. Is this making me a better person? No. Get it out of here. Could this make someone’s day, bring a smile, alter someone for the better – SHARE IT.

This is what we can do. This is how we can make a difference.

I don’t ever say like and share on my blog posts because it’s become such a stupid thing to say. But we need to say it for the things that deserve it. Maybe we should change it to “LIKE AND SHARE GOODNESS.”

So, if you think this was worth reading, did something positive for you, or helped you in any way, please share it.

We can all do our part by sharing goodness.

You can join the discussion and learn more about the Social Dilemma documentary at TheSocialDilemma.com

I think this is important and I think it should be something we all start thinking about. Let’s start thinking about it. Let’s start doing our part.
September 24, 2020
Satan’s Story

Who is Satan?

I believe a careful reading of different scriptural records gives us a picture of Satan’s progression and tells us how he ultimately ended up cast down. There will be a lot of scriptural references here (duh). If you follow the story something becomes pretty clear about Satan. There’s a major revelation I learned about Satan that I never understood, and I don’t think many church members know.

Before I start I want to mention, my interest in studying Satan is the opposite of my interest in studying Christ, but helps with the same purpose. I think it’s good to study Satan to see how he fell and to avoid the behavior he exhibited that led him there. Through his story you see examples of pride, unrighteous ambition, anger, envy, jealousy, bitterness, selfishness, along with many other negative attributes. All of Satan’s attributes are the direct opposite to the traits of Jesus Christ. Ultimately Satan became a being of darkness. He rejected all light. Many around us reject light and I think as we understand Satan and understand his motivations (to tempt, enslave, and control us) we are better suited to withstand him. With that, we begin.

Satan’s story starts in the Book of Moses chapter 4:1-2:

1 And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying—Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.

2 But, behold, my Beloved Son, which was my Beloved and Chosen from the beginning, said unto me—Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.

Here we see what I believe is well known to Latter-day Saints. Heavenly Father asked, “who will I send?”

Satan came forth and responded, “Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.”

Christ said, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.”

We know what happens here, though it isn’t said in these two verses. Christ is chosen by the Father.

Now we’re going to jump to a new book of scripture to continue Satan’s story. Abraham 3:24-28 reads:

24 And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell;

25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

26 And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.

27 And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.

28 And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.

In verse 24 – “one among them that was like unto God” – clearly refers to Jesus Christ. He is speaking to “those who were with him.” He goes on to talk about the first and second estates of man, of us. Verse 27 is where it gets important.

Verse 27 – The Lord (Jesus Christ) said, “Whom shall I send?” Note that Christ is following the same pattern He learned from His Father. “And one answered like unto the Son of Man.” This is Adam, the first man, or Michael as he was known in the premortal existence. Adam said, “Here am I, send me.”

Still in verse 27 – “And another answered and said: Here am I, send me.” – This will prove to be Satan.

“And the Lord said: I will send the first.”

Now the critical verse 28:

“And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.”

So, it is clearly put forth here. I always thought Satan rebelled at Christ being chosen by the Father, and maybe he did in his heart. If you read Moses chapter 4 straight through that is how it seems. But when you read this story sequentially, we see what actually happened. Christ was chosen by the Father. Christ is essentially now leading the “project” under the direction of Heavenly Father. He is standing with others helping in the work. He follows the Father’s pattern and asks who will be the first man. Here Christ chooses Adam over Satan.

This adds a dimension to my understanding of Satan. A couple things of note. First, we know from the beginning Satan wanted the glory and wanted all of God’s children to return to heaven (see Moses 4:1). When he is passed over, he doesn’t openly rebel yet. When Christ is choosing who will be the first man, it’s possible Satan still saw a way to foil God’s plan and have all the honor given to him. He would go down as the first man and he would refuse to fall. If Satan went as the first man and refused to fall, man could never choose and therefore could never sin. If man couldn’t sin, there would be no need for a redeemer, there would be no choice, repentance, or progression. Satan would bring everyone back to heaven and in so doing destroy their agency. I think this was his plan.

Christ wisely chooses Adam to be the father of all and lead the human race into mortality.

It’s at this point we see Satan has had enough. He’s been passed over once by the Father. Now the one who took what he believed to be his rightful spot is choosing to pass him over as well.

Verse 28: “And the second (Satan) was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him. – Emphasis added.

Here we see Satan’s rebellion. Here we see he leads “many” away. Before we continue with Satan’s story, I feel it’s important to remind you: Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you kept your first estate and are in the process of keeping your second estate. Keep it up and you’re promised to “have glory added upon (your) head for ever and ever” (Abraham 3:26).

Back to Satan.

Our story picks back up in Revelations chapter 12. I’ll be using the Joseph Smith Translation as it makes everything so much clearer.

The first part of Revelations 12:4 reads:

“And there appeared another sign in heaven; and behold, a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth.”

The great red dragon is obviously Satan, and here we see he drew away one third of the children of God after him. He and his followers were cast down to earth.

Revelations 12:6

“And there was war in heaven; Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought against Michael;“

Michael (Adam) and his angels fought against Satan and his angels.

Verse 7 tells us that Michael and his angels (who might be us!?) prevailed.

Revelations 12:8

“Neither was there place found in heaven for the great dragon, who was cast out; that old serpent called the devil, and also called Satan, which deceiveth the whole world; he was cast out into the earth; and his angels were cast out with him.”

Here we see the official result. There was no more place found in heaven for Satan, his followers, and their rebellion against Christ, which meant rebellion against God. Satan’s plan was foiled. He was not chosen to be the redeemer of man and he was not chosen to be the first man where he could foil God’s Plan of Salvation. He was cast down, in bitterness.

In conclusion, it doesn’t appear Satan rebelled at the outset. He was conniving and always looking for another way to enslave us, God’s children. I mentioned it earlier but every person on this earth already chose Christ. We were not fooled by Satan. We are here.

How did Satan get one third to follow him? I think if we carefully consider this question we can come up with some likely possibilities. There were many in the premortal existence that maybe didn’t properly prepare for this life, our second estate. When the time came to be tested, those who didn’t prepare would be fearful. We knew that some would fail to reach the Celestial Kingdom, and those among the host of heaven who had not used their agency to prepare well for mortal life were likely cognizant of that fact. From there it would be easy for Satan to convince some that they would fail, and they should therefore follow him.

Secondly, I believe Satan’s focus in the premortal life would have been to doubt Jesus Christ and his ability to redeem us. I believe Satan would have told many that Christ would fail, and then what? They would all fail and never be able to return home. I believe Satan likely attacked Christ. This would also be an attack on the ability to repent. Satan would have told those who didn’t use their agency well premortally that they wouldn’t use their agency well in life, that they wouldn’t repent, and change, and improve, and would ultimately fail. It’s the same tactic Satan uses today.

I invite everyone to hold firmly in your heart, remember, you chose Christ already. You were valiant already. You were brave already. You may have already fought Satan in heaven with Michael. You won. You are still fighting Satan today and you can still win. Remember that he is the father of lies, and Christ is our salvation. Look to Christ, keep your faith in him, keep repenting, keep changing, keep looking to Christ and we will all return to Him again.

I know that Satan is never giving up, just like he never gave up in the premortal life. Just like in the premortal life we will prevail. We have Christ on our side. With Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father on our team, we cannot lose.

August 27, 2020
Pride of the Gentiles

I write this as a complement to my testimony of the Book of Mormon as the Word of God.

For the purposes of what I’m writing I will focus on the Old Testament. I would gladly speak on the New Testament, but for simplicity I will focus on the Old.

Let’s look historically at the creation of the Bible. The text of the Old Testament was preserved and handed down by the hands of the Jews. It was protected by the Jews. If not for the Jews, there would be no Old Testament today.

By definition, a gentile is a person who is not Jewish. The Gentiles received the Bible from the Jews. Most of us are gentiles. If you come from Europe, have Catholic, Protestant, or pretty much any other Christian ties in your ancestry, you are most likely considered a gentile. Again, none of us would have the Bible today if it weren’t for the Jews.

It’s those same Gentiles who today say, A Bible, a Bible, we have a Bible! (2 Nephi 29:3). But how do you have the Bible? You have it from the Israelites, from the Jews. You didn’t do anything to gain it.

When Christ was crucified and resurrected the Jews of old who believed in Christ had a difficult time moving past their traditions. If you read about Paul and his missionary efforts, you will see that a major portion of his time was spent fighting Judaizers. Judaizers were “Christians in the primitive church who taught it was necessary to adopt Jewish customs and practices, especially those found in the Law of Moses.”

From History of the Christian Church, 1, 338 regarding Judaizers:

“These men were Christians in name, but narrow-minded and narrow-hearted Jews in fact. They were scrupulous, pedantic, slavish formalists, ritualists, and traditionalists of the malignant type. Circumcision of the flesh was to them more important than circumcision of the heart, or at all events an indispensable condition of salvation. Such men could, of course, not understand and appreciate Paul, but hated and feared him as a dangerous radical and rebel. Envy and jealousy mixed with their religious prejudice. They got alarmed at the rapid progress of the gospel among the unclean Gentiles who threatened to soil the purity of the church…”

For just a couple of examples of Paul’s contention with Judaizers see Acts 15:23-29, Galatians chapters 3 and 4, Acts 21: 20-25. That last example in Acts 21 would be roughly the year AD 58. At this point, 25 years after Christ’s death, there were still thousands of Jewish Christians following the Law of Moses.

I give this historical background to make a comparison to the Christian gentiles of today.

Christians who cannot accept any scripture outside of the Bible are the Jews of old. Holding firm to their traditions, fighting to preserve what they’ve always known, refusing to see the greater blessing of the Gospel right before them.

The Gentiles of today say, “I have a Bible.” By what source have you gotten your Bible?

2 Nephi 29 4-5:

4 But thus saith the Lord God: O fools, they shall have a Bible; and it shall proceed forth from the Jews, mine ancient covenant people. And what thank they the Jews for the Bible which they receive from them? Yea, what do the Gentiles mean? Do they remember the travails, and the labors, and the pains of the Jews, and their diligence unto me, in bringing forth salvation unto the Gentiles?

5 O ye Gentiles, have ye remembered the Jews, mine ancient covenant people? Nay; but ye have cursed them, and have hated them, and have not sought to recover them. But behold, I will return all these things upon your own heads; for I the Lord have not forgotten my people.

The Jews couldn’t accept further revelation – that Jesus was the Christ and in Him the law was fulfilled. Gentiles today – who have only been shown the mercy of God by being adopted into Christ’s fold – do the same thing. They have a Bible, they need no “other” Bible.

What does this speak of? It speaks of pride. This attitude says – “God has given us all He’s going to give us and now it’s up to ME, MAN to interpret what God is saying.” This pride removes God from the equation. You think God has disowned us? You think He’s given us all He can or will give us? WHY?!?!? God loves His children. Has He abandoned us?

The hard-hearted, prideful, and stubborn attitude of holding onto traditions has kept people from Christ since the start of mankind and it continues today. Let go of pride and accept that God still speaks to man. Pride makes us interpret the Bible how it suits us. Let go of pride and let God guide us.

The denial of modern revelation is the removal of God. It is the denial of either God’s love for us or His power in redeeming His children. How can people who can only accept the Bible not see that? They’ve removed a living God for God’s word. The Bible is God’s word to us, but what good is it if you don’t understand it? What good is it if you kick against the pricks? Let the spirit work within you and accept all truth God will give you. He will enlighten your mind and expand your spirit, but you must let Him, and stop removing Him by saying you have the Bible and that’s all you need.

The great apostle Paul spent his entire missionary career fighting against the Judaizers.

Today modern-day missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spend so much time fighting modern day Judaizers, traditionalists. We must Bible bash, meanwhile we have a far greater message: GOD STILL LIVES, GOD STILL SPEAKS, REVELATION IS ALIVE. He has provided a new Book of Promise – the Book of Mormon – to help and guide us. Not to replace the Bible but to supplement it. READ IT. And see for yourself if it speaks to your spirit. See for yourself if God still loves His children. See for yourself if Jesus is the Christ and if HE IS STILL redeeming his people. Set aside your pride!

2 Nephi 29: 6-9

6 Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible. Have ye obtained a Bible save it were by the Jews?

7 Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth?

8 Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? Know ye not that the testimony of two nations is a witness unto you that I am God, that I remember one nation like unto another? Wherefore, I speak the same words unto one nation like unto another. And when the two nations shall run together the testimony of the two nations shall run together also.

9 And I do this that I may prove unto many that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and that I speak forth my words according to mine own pleasure. And because that I have spoken one word ye need not suppose that I cannot speak another; for my work is not yet finished; neither shall it be until the end of man, neither from that time henceforth and forever.

How accurate are those words written nearly 2600 years ago? Inspired writing. It is my testimony that the Book of Mormon can only bring a person closer to the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. I wish we could all remove our pride and stop being like the Judaizers of the primitive Church. Accept that Christ is as interested in us today as He was when He walked the earth 2000 years ago. Read His word. Hear His word. Feel his word. Accept his words. All of them.

August 20, 2020
How did I get here?

What is my goal in writing this blog?

Hopefully to uplift someone, anyone. Believer, nonbeliever. Member of the Church of Jesus Christ, member of any church, member of no church. I’d like to teach people who know nothing about this faith some of what I believe. I’d like to share with members of my faith the things that have impacted my testimony.

Recently a new motivation has emerged. With a daughter on the way I realize one day she can read all this. Whether or not anyone reads any of this. One day my daughter might.

Right now, I’m posting individual posts that are unrelated to each other. Mostly my thoughts and musings. As I post more, I plan on categorizing posts into certain sections. If someone could come to this page and read a quick one to two-page entry and leave slightly uplifted, that’s my ultimate goal. Most of my writing I hope to be somewhat thought provoking. Just things I’ve thought about or ideas and concepts that have really impacted me and changed the way I’ve looked at life.

I hope for this to be informational. I was greatly impacted by the writing of a man, John Pontius. As I read more, I’m impacted by the writings of many people who took the time to put thoughts on paper. Maybe something I write one day will help someone. I also hope to discuss what I feel makes the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ special. I hope for people not of my faith to read, and maybe have something stirred in their souls. Something that reminds them of where they came from, and maybe have a desire to learn more about Christ’s Church and what makes it so important.

As I write I’ll share a lot about me. I wanted a section to describe, briefly, who I am and how I got here.

Anybody reading on my page will immediately notice the strong religious theme. It’s what I think about most. For a portion of my life, it was not this way.

About me:

I was born in Payson, Utah in 1990. I moved to St. George, Utah when I was ~5. I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada when I was ~9. I lived in three houses from ages 9 to 18 in Las Vegas. We moved a lot and that was always difficult for me while growing up.

Payson, Utah

St. George, Utah

Las Vegas, Nevada

In 2009 I moved to Arizona to go to Arizona State University. I decided early on I didn’t want to go to UNLV (University of Nevada Las Vegas) or UNR (University of Nevada Reno). I wanted to get out of Nevada, I wanted a fresh start. I had no family in Arizona. Las Vegas wasn’t far, but I would be completely on my own.

I still remember when I was driving to Arizona for orientation with my mom. She got sick on the way and we stopped. I think we were in Boulder City, about an hour into the drive. I took her to the emergency room. My dad drove there to be with my mom. I had to be at orientation the next morning. I drove to Arizona by myself. It was the first time I’d driven that kind of distance alone and was symbolic of me becoming independent.

I went to ASU for five semesters. I studied construction management. I always did well in high school with minimal effort. I’m one of those obnoxious individuals who brags about never studying in high school. Boy did I learn my lesson once I got to college. My grades, with zero work ethic and desire, quickly reflected my effort. It didn’t help that I soon realized I wasn’t interested in what I was studying. Construction management can be interesting, but it wasn’t for me. There’s only so much I could take learning about the strength of concrete.

Like if you get the reference

My junior year I officially dropped out of college with (of course) the intention of going back and finishing once I found my passion. I say “of course” because that’s what we all say. During school I found that I was much more interested in parties, poker, and basketball than I was in learning about safety standards of construction sites. When I stopped going to school I continued to live on campus and enjoy college life, minus the higher education part. I spent a full year couch surfing. I’m sheepish to admit now, but I look back fondly on that year. It was a year spent staying up until 5am, waking up at 1pm, sneaking into the student rec center to play basketball, getting food, finding a party, rinse/repeat. It may sound like a pathetic use of time but it’s something I think I needed to experience.

If my daughter ever reads this – not everyone needs to experience this. That’s part of why I’m writing. To show that I made mistakes and lived life a certain way. Ultimately, I can’t regret it because it eventually got me to where I am today. I have learned through my own experiences where true happiness exists. True happiness comes from serving others, giving yourself to something bigger than yourself. True happiness comes from loving others. I had to go a round-about way to learn what’s important in life. Not everyone has to make things as difficult as I made things for myself.

During my time couch surfing, I was working odd jobs here and there to have enough money for food and extra-curricular activities. I went to Utah near the end of this adventure for some “soul searching.” After “finding myself,” or not finding myself, I ended up back in Arizona working as a helpdesk tech for two companies. I went with one of those companies 3 years later when they switched offices and took over as the Systems Administrator. I now (as of 2020) work for a managed services provider supporting various companies with their technology needs.

As I write this blurb about my journey and my past, many thoughts come to mind of what I learned along the way. I might refer back to this when I need a topic to write about. Like my lack of desire studying something I wasn’t passionate about or the years spent partying and what that taught me about what I want out of life.

Faith-wise, I started falling away from the church, due to my choices, when I was 16. I always had a testimony of this restored church, of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and Jesus Christ. That never changed. Despite my many mistakes and many wrong decisions, I always knew it was true. When I went to ASU I lost contact with the church completely. It amazes me to look back and realize I didn’t even know where the church building/institute building/anything related to the church was on campus. It’s like I’d lost connection with that part of me.

Throughout the years I’d attempt half-heartedly to return to church. It never stuck. I was completely inactive from about 18-25. Seven long years of inactivity.

As of this year, 2020, I’ve been back at church for four years and never been happier. I hope to express through my writing the joy the gospel has brought me and share some of my experiences that can maybe help others. That’s the hope. I’ve felt drawn to writing these entries so if one person is helped it’s a major win.

And if all these hopes fail, I’ll at least be able to look back on everything I’ve written. One day I can show my daughter and she can know I always believed. She can see it wasn’t always easy. She can see life has ups and downs, but it will work out. Have faith. That makes this worth writing.

August 13, 2020
Sunday Meditation and Basketball

In November of 2019 I started meditating every morning. I’m not doing anything real impressive. I spend the first 10 minutes of every day laying on my back on the ground. I started by listening to guided meditations on YouTube. Now I have the Calm App on my phone which I highly recommend. I rotate between guided meditations and simply laying with my eyes closed, in prayer and thought. Early on I found meditation to be extremely beneficial. My days would start off right. I would be calmer and more patient with any challenge that arose throughout the day. I know this is hard to gauge and measure. Maybe I wasn’t calmer or more patient, but I felt more calm and patient. That has to be almost as good.

When I started meditating, I immediately noticed answers to prayers. Those 10 minutes have become the most important 10 minutes of my day. I look forward to that time to spend with my own thoughts and with God. It’s an opportunity to slow down and think about what I want to accomplish; in life and for that day. It’s time to stop and consider all that I have to be grateful for.

I think I’ve written about his before, but when I was coming back to church, initially a big help was basketball on weekend mornings. For years my weekends were spent out late. When I was trying to stop drinking and stop going out as much, Saturday morning (7am) basketball became critical. It was something I could look forward to. It motivated me to stay in on a Friday night so I could get up early and play. I also played Sunday mornings. They were my two favorite days every week.

Weekend Warrior

Sunday morning basketball never conflicted with church. I was in the Young Single Adult Ward which didn’t meet until 1pm. I could easily play 7am-10am and have a few hours to shower, relax, read, study, and pray before church began.

One Sunday morning I got up to play like I always did. I was walking around my room getting dressed. It was time to walk out the door to leave so I bent over to pick up my gym bag. As I started to stand up the craziest thing happened. My back completely gave out. Luckily, I was near my bed (which still resided on box springs on the floor, like I liked it) so I literally fell sideways onto my bed. I was in excruciating pain. I called my mom and she said to take some ibuprofen, the basic mom guidance stuff. I still had it in my mind that I could go play. I was 26 years old, surely, I didn’t actually throw my back out…right? I quickly realized, I did.

Me that weekend

As I laid in my bed, I wondered what to do. I loved reading my scriptures, especially Sunday mornings after basketball and before church. So, I pulled out my scriptures and continued to read where I’d left off in the book of Alma.

I remember reading the story of the sons of Mosiah that morning in Alma 17-27. I remember being struck by one thing: the sons of Mosiah were offered the kingdom. They were each individually asked to be the king of their people. They were asked to rule, to have power, to have the comforts and honors of the world given to them for the rest of their life. Instead, they chose to forsake worldly possessions and go on a mission to the Lamanites. One by one they chose to reject kingship and go to a land of people that were open about their desire to kill any Nephite that came into their presence, let alone a Nephite set to inherit the Nephite kingdom.

What inspired Ammon and his brothers, the sons of Mosiah to forsake the kingdom and instead choose to preach the gospel? They saw an angel. I can’t describe exactly what happened to me that day, studying in my bed. Something happened. I was so filled with the spirit. I felt like I was floating. It was the most uplifting and edifying scripture study I’d ever had. I grew so much that morning. I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since. That morning, along with learning so much about the sons of Mosiah and who I wanted to be, I also learned the value of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

I don’t think basketball was the worst thing to do on a Sunday morning, far from it. I think those first few months of Sunday morning basketball had a huge impact on me and helped me stay away from activities it was important for me to stay away from at that time. That morning though, I came to a crossroad. The temptations of prior months had lessened. I was immersing myself in the scriptures and praying daily. That morning I learned how much I could gain on Sunday mornings.

I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since that morning I threw my back out. Instead, every Sunday morning I try to pray, read, and study. My study isn’t as good as it has been in the past, I can always improve. But, staying in on Sunday, preparing for church, praying, pondering my blessings, being with my wife, has become my favorite part of every week.

In November 2019 I started meditating every morning. I meditate 7 days a week. There’s a strange phenomenon I’ve experienced during this time. I meditate every single day. But, on Sundays, something is different. I don’t meditate with the hopes of becoming emotional. I enjoy it when it happens. I enjoy feeling the spirit so strongly that, as I lay on the ground in gratitude to my Heavenly Father, tears sometimes come to my eyes. It happens every so often. What I’ve noticed is it happens mostly on Sundays.

Without fail, as I lay and meditate on Sundays, I will be moved by the grace of Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father. I will contemplate the Atonement of my Savior. I’ll consider the suffering He went through for me. I’ll think about where I’ve been and where I am now. I’ll wonder how God can love us so much.

Grace of Christ

I bear testimony that Sunday is a special day. It’s not special because it’s specifically Sunday. That’s the day we, our society, have set aside as a day to worship. It could be Monday or Friday, doesn’t matter. What matters is it’s a day for the Lord. It’s important because it’s a day set aside for God. He has given us all our days, our lives, what is one day a week in return? I know that the Sabbath day is a special day. I know it holds power. I know it gives rejuvenating strength in a world that unceasingly sucks our spiritual resolve from us throughout the week. I know it because I’ve experienced it.

I would invite everybody to spend some time every Sunday morning in prayer. I promise you will feel something special. The Sabbath day is profound. Keep it holy. It was a long journey for me to truly appreciate the power of the Sabbath. I know that we’re blessed for keeping the Sabbath holy. In the scriptures, keeping the Sabbath is said to be what separates God’s people from the world. Keep the Sabbath holy and I promise God will pour out blessings on you. I know because he has on me.

August 7, 2020