No Coincidences

Tag: god

  • Tolkien’s Knowledge of Eternal Truths

    Tolkien’s Knowledge of Eternal Truths

    I’ve written before about Tolkien’s uncanny parallels to what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints knows to be true due to modern revelation. These truths include information on the premortal life, Satan, and the afterlife.

    See The Wisdom of Tolkien and The Many Literary Parallels to Satan.

    I just started reading The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. It is a book whose tale pre-dates The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and even The Hobbit. It is the origin story of Middle Earth.

    The preface to The Silmarillion includes a letter Tolkien wrote to his editor. In the letter Tolkien is trying to explain why The Silmarillion and the Lord of the Rings trilogy should be released together as their saga is intrinsically linked. Something Tolkien said in that letter struck me. He said, “[The mere stories] arose in my mind as ‘given’ things, and as they came, separately, so too the links grew. An absorbing, though continually interrupted labour… yet I always had the sense of recording what was already ‘there’, somewhere: not of ‘inventing’.”

    J.R.R. Tolkien was known to be a devout Christian. So I find it no surprise that his soul seemed to speak of things already known, deep in his being, that he expressed through his writing.  

    I find that statement especially fascinating given the parallels to eternal truth Tolkien touched on as I already referenced. I’m going to note some of those truths I’ve found in The Silmarillion. This list, I think, could go on and on nearly endlessly, but I will list out the few that made me literally stop reading, come to my computer, and note down:

    It is a well known fact that Tokien was a religious man who was pulling from religious traditions into his writing. I think it is clear that he had a sense of more. I would consider that his spirit telling him things his mind had no way of knowing. We did come from somewhere. We are here for a reason. We are going somewhere. There are too many eternal truths in his writings. Someday I’ll likely re-read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, books I haven’t read since I was 11 and 12, to see what more I can pull from those great books as an adult.

    1. (Page 16 of The Silmarillion) “Manwe (Jesus Christ) and Melkor (Satan) were brethren in the thought of Illuvatar (God). The mightiest of those Ainur (first children of God) who came into the world was in the beginning Melkor; but Manwe is dearest to Illuvatar and understands most clearly his purposes. He was appointed to be, in the fullness of time, the first of all Kings: lord of the realm of Arda (Earth) and ruler of all that dwell therein.”
      • Wow, there are many parallels here.
    2. (Page 36) (Note also that Elves and Men are often referred to in this mythology as the sons of Illuvatar (God)). The book talks about how death is given to men as a gift from Illuvatar (God). Whereas the elves are immortal on earth, men die. “But illuvatar knew that Men, being set amid the turmoils of the powers of the world, would stray often, and would not use their gifts in harmony; and he said: ‘these too in their time shall find that all that they do redounds at the end only to the glory of my work.’ Yet the Elves believe that Men are often a grief to Manwe (in this analogy, Manwe=Christ), who knows most of the mind of Illuvatar (God); for it seems to the Elves that Men resemble Melkor (Satan) most of all the Ainur, although he has ever feared and hated them, even those that served him.
      • This is fascinating because despite us being most like Satan (rebellious, stubborn, prone to anger and hatred, greedy, desirous of power, desirous of honor), he still fears us because we have bodies and have the potential he will never have. And even when we follow and serve Satan, he still hates us. This is just like in the Lord of the Rings mythology where men are looked at as a burden to God, but loved by Him. Melkor doesn’t trust man even when they serve him.`
    3. (Page 36) “It is one with this gift of freedom that the children of Men dwell only a short space in the world alive, and are not bound to it, and depart soon whither the Elves know not… But the sons of Men die indeed, and leave the world; wherefore they are called the Guests, or the Strangers. Death is their fate, the gift of Illuvatar, which as Time wears even the Powers shall envy. But Melkor (Satan) has cast his shadow upon it, and confounded it with darkness, and brought forth evil out of good, and fear out of hope.
      • It is a gift that we dwell on Earth for a short time. Our reward after earth life is unimaginable. Satan tries to make death seem like a bad thing, casting his shadow upon it. We should remember that death is not evil and nothing to fear. It is a gift.
    4. (Page 96) Curse of Noldor for slaying their brethren. “’Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Aman. For blood ye shall render blood, and behold Aman ye shall dwell in Death’s shadow. For though Eru appointed to you to die not in Ea, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and by grief; and your houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in Middle-earth and come not to Mandos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before the younger race that cometh after. The Valar have spoken.’
      • There are elves in the mythology that commit the first murder of their own kindred. They are punished by having their spirits go to Mandos, keeper of the underworld, after their deaths. “There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies.” This is a truth of the Plan of Salvation that when men die, they go to spirit prison or spirit paradise and look at the absence of their body from their spirit as a prison. Also, the ties to the first murder in the Bible and the curse of Cain are obvious.
    5. (Page 109) “And they mourned not more for the death of the Trees than for the marring of Feanor: of the works of Melkor one of the most evil. For Feanor was made the mightiest in all parts of body and mind, in valour, in endurance, in beauty, in understanding, in skill, in strength and in subtlety alike, of all of the Children of Iluvatar (God), and a bright flame was in him. The works of wonder for the glory of Arda (Earth) that he might otherwise have wrought only Manwe (Christ, God of earth) might in some measure conceive. And it was told by the Vanyar who held vigil with the Valar that when the messengers declared to Manwe the answers of Feanor to his heralds, Manwe wept and bowed his head.”
      1. This is talking about one of the earliest elves, Feanor. Feanor was deceived by Melkor and ultimately his pride led him to swearing an oath to do anything to reclaim the silmarils he had crafted. This led to many misdeeds. This made me think of Satan, a “morning star that fell.”
      • Also, this part talks about how the greatest evil Melkor (Satan) committed was lying, deceiving, and ultimately turning the path of Feanor to evil. The most evil work of Satan on this earth is turning the hearts of men to do evil when they could have done so much good. How many are there out there that could have been great bringers of peace, creators of beauty, uniters of the human race, that Satan destroyed?
    6. (Page 325) – Sauron in deceiving men tells them that the Valar have deceived men by putting forth the name of Eru (God). That they speak for Eru. He says Eru is a phantom, putting the power in the Valar’s hands. Then Sauron says, “But he that is their (the Valar) shall yet prevail, and he will deliver you from this phantom (God); and his name is Melkor, Lord of All, Giver of Freedom, and he shall make you stronger than they.”
      • Isn’t this the strategy of Satan today? There is no God. Those who speak for him (prophets) only speak in His name to get their own power. This is what Satan tries to get people to believe. There is one that you can follow who will give you freedom and power – yourself. In this analogy, I think Melkor is us. When Satan denies God, he usually doesn’t bring himself into it. He tells men that they are Gods and need no God. He tells us that we can find freedom and power in our own devices. Satan’s prevailing strategy today is telling the world there is no God.
    7. (Page 334-335) – men become so proud that they deny God and go to war against the Valar. It says that Manwe (the King of earth) “called upon Iluvatar, and for that time the Valar laid down their government of earth.” It says that Illuvatar changed the world with a chasm, water, and smoke, and the world was shaken.
      • This sounds like a description of the end of times when all the unrighteous turn from God and rebel against Him. They will be destroyed.
    8. There is a scene during the destruction of Numenor, a city that rebelled against the Gods, that describes a Queen of the people who, “Too late she strove to ascend the steep ways of the Meneltarma, to the holy place; for the waters overtook her.” The Meneltarma was the temple they had built to Illuvatar (God) and that had been neglected and ignored for decades. As floods started to come into the city, she tried to go to the temple but it was too late for the Queen. She had neglected the temple and God for too long. Once hardship befalls man, it’s too late to then try to cry out for help and worship God. This is the parable of the 10 virgins put right into the Lord of the Rings mythology.

    This is why I love reading! Everything denotes that there is a Christ. Beauty and truth can be pulled from almost any book. Everything I read gives me some new perspective or something new I hadn’t before considered. It’s also why I like writing. The greatest invention in the world was writing. Before I digress, let me close this post. I love Tolkien’s writing. Go read something great today.

  • Your True Identity

    Your True Identity

    *I originally wrote this in 2022.

    I’d like to discuss Grace and our Identity.

    In a recent address to young adults of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the prophet of the Lord, President Russell M. Nelson, talked about the three defining identities of a member of Christ’s church. Those identities were:

    1. Child of God
    2. Child of the covenant
    3. Disciple of Jesus Christ

    The grace portion of what I’d like to discuss, like President Nelson’s identities, will focus on members of Christ’s church. This doesn’t mean what I’m saying here doesn’t apply to all. I believe it does. Whether someone believes in God or not, the first identity of all God’s children is true. Every soul on this earth is a child of God, whether they believe it (or like it) or not. The other two identities are not excluded from anyone. Anyone can be a child of the covenant by aligning themselves with God. Anyone can be a disciple of Jesus Christ. These must be choices.

    Now that I’ve established that this is for everyone, let’s talk more about President Nelson’s message of identity. President Nelson emphasized that if the Lord spoke directly to us, the first thing He’d want us to understand is who we are; thus, the identities. It’s my testimony that the Lord was reminding us of this, through His mouthpiece, the prophet.

    President Nelson said:

    “Tonight, I plead with you not to replace these three paramount and unchanging identifiers with any others, because doing so could stymie your progress or pigeonhole you in a stereotype that could potentially thwart your eternal progression.

    There are various labels that may be very important to you, of course. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that other designations and identifiers are not significant. I am simply saying that no identifier should displace, replace or take priority over these three enduring designations …”

    The world would so quickly have us forget who we truly are, and our true potential. The multitude of designations we can apply to ourselves pale in comparison to “Child of God.” Can you imagine being a prince of a nation, and calling yourself a peasant? Can you imagine being the president of a university and calling yourself a student? Can you imagine being the captain of the team, and calling yourself a bench warmer? That is what many of us do every day when we give ourselves any title but “Child of God.” Wear your title with pride. Your Father is God of the entire universe. He is King, He is Ruler, and you are His Child.

    “Make no mistake about it: Your potential is divine. With your diligent seeking, God will give you glimpses of who you may become. … As you embrace these truths, our Heavenly Father will help you reach your ultimate goal of living eternally in His holy presence.”

    -Russell M. Nelson

    Let’s transition into Grace. I can’t say anything better here than Brad Wilcox said in his talk His Grace is Sufficient, so please read the talk to remind yourself how patient and loving and kind our Savior is. I believe this may be the most powerful address ever given, especially for our day. I mean that literally. His Grace is Sufficient is so filled with eternal and significant truths, you could quote the whole thing. I will quote much of it here.

    I believe there is an epidemic in the Church of people not feeling good enough. I believe this aligns with President Nelson’s message of forgetting our identity. I think it also aligns with a misunderstanding that Satan has perpetuated, a misunderstanding of Grace and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

    Brad Wilcox said, “Too many are giving up on the Church because they are tired of constantly feeling like they are falling short.”

    He then gave an example:

    “There are young women who know they are daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves them, and they love Him. Then they graduate from high school, and the values they memorized are put to the test. They slip up. They let things go too far, and suddenly they think it is all over. These young women don’t understand grace.”

    I would add – these young women don’t understand who they are. Slipping up doesn’t take away any of your three identities. Because you make a mistake, are you no longer God’s daughter? Because you slip up, are you no longer a daughter of the covenant? Because you’re not perfect, are you not a disciple of Jesus Christ? If that were the case, Christ would never have disciples! Be less hard on ourselves. And remember who we are.

    Few paragraphs in a talk have applied more perfectly to me:

    “There are young men who grow up their whole lives singing, “I hope they call me on a mission,” and then they do actually grow a foot or two and flake out completely. They get their Eagles, graduate from high school, and go away to college. Then suddenly these young men find out how easy it is to not be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, or reverent. They mess up. They say, “I’ll never do it again,” and then they do it. They say, “I’ll never do it again,” and then they do it. They say, “This is stupid. I will never do it again.” And then they do it. The guilt is almost unbearable. They don’t dare talk to a bishop. Instead, they hide. They say, “I can’t do this Mormon thing. I’ve tried, and the expectations are just way too high.” So they quit. These young men don’t understand grace.”

    For me, it was a process of making mistakes, and then deciding I didn’t need to ask for forgiveness. The guilt of asking for forgiveness wasn’t worth it. I just moved on and stopped asking. But my soul was crying out. What saved me was my testimony of Jesus Christ and His Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Without that testimony of His restored Gospel, I would have never returned. It wasn’t worth feeling the guilt. But once I did return and reminded myself of the fruits of repentance and the pure joy of forgiveness, I could never go back. I continued to make mistakes and I continued to fall short. I continue to fall short. But that day when I cried tears of joy in a church parking lot, I felt Christ so palpably and so near, I knew I could never go back. I knew I had to keep trying. My soul had been starved for so long and once I felt the grace of Jesus Christ, which I only had to ask for, returning into my very being, I couldn’t go back.

    I plead for all of God’s children, all of you, my brothers and sisters, to not give up. Ask for that forgiveness, endure the guilt, and feel the overwhelming joy.

    Brother Wilcox in continuing to describe me, “…guilt is almost unbearable. They don’t dare talk to a bishop. Instead, they hide. They say, “I can’t do this Mormon thing. I’ve tried, and the expectations are just way too high.” So they quit. These young men don’t understand grace.”

    I definitely didn’t understand grace until I’d felt it’s full magnitude. Don’t give up on who you are. Don’t give up on who you can become. Don’t forget your true identity. “In all of these cases there should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, “continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).”

    “Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source.”

    Let Christ be your constant energy source. Don’t give up.

    “I testify that God’s grace is sufficient. Jesus’ grace is sufficient. It is enough. It is all we need. Oh, young people, don’t quit. Keep trying. Don’t look for escapes and excuses. Look for the Lord and His perfect strength. Don’t search for someone to blame. Search for someone to help you. Seek Christ, and, as you do, I promise you will feel the enabling power we call His amazing grace… I believe in you. I’m pulling for you… And Jesus is pulling with you.”

    -Brad Wilcox

    What has Christ done for us? What has God given us? President Nelson reminded us:

    “In short, They have offered you everything! Heavenly Father’s plan for His children allows us to live where and how He lives and ultimately to become more and more like Him. His plan literally makes the richest blessings of all eternity available to us, including the potential for us to become ‘joint-heirs with Christ’ (Romans 8:17).”

    “God will do “everything He can, short of violating your agency, to help you not miss out on the greatest blessings in all eternity.”

    Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged. Never forget your divine heritage and what it affords you. You are a child of God! A joint heir with our Savior, the King, Jesus Christ. Don’t ever replace your identity with something temporary, that only this world gives. Satan abandoned his identity and now he wants nothing more but to deceive you into abandoning yours. Don’t do it!

    I bear my testimony that Christ’s Grace is Sufficient. He died for me, and He died for you. He did it all. There’s nothing we can do to screw it up if we just turn to Him. There’s nothing we can possibly do to make God abandon us. He loves us with a love we can’t comprehend.

    One day we’ll stand before Him, our Father, and we’ll remember. We’ll remember what love truly is, and we’ll remember who we are. Remember today and move towards that glorious light of living with Him, our Savior, and our families through eternity.

  • Revenge and Forgiveness

    Revenge and Forgiveness

    Israel

    Palestine

    Israel and Palestine

    Israeli War

    Aggressors in War

    Revenge

    Forgiveness

    9/14/25

    As I prepared to write on this topic that I quite honestly don’t want to write about, I listed out those possible titles for this post. If that list is an indication of anything, it’s how scattered my thoughts on this topic will be.

    I actively avoid politics. I aggressively avoid current affairs.

    It’s not that I want to, I’d like to be aware of the important things happening around the world. It’s that I feel like I have to.

    Politics and current events are so filled with hatred, vitriol, unkindness, unfairness, poison, and frankly stupidity that I have chosen to actively avoid it. This becomes a problem when my wife wants to discuss these things, and would really like her husband to be able to discuss it with her, and then she has to watch me like an ostrich putting my head straight into a hole. I just want no part of it.

    Recent events have led to me looking into some things.

    I hear so much leftist this and right wing that – I am aggressively trying to keep myself from knowing what these distinctions mean. Call me naive. I think it’s all so stupid.

    What does this have to do with those topics listed above?

    Just saying Israel and Palestine, I believe, ignites passionate political beliefs.

    If you need proof, yes, even wars are split along party lines:

    I do not like passionate political beliefs. I hope this post has nothing to do with politics.

    I hope this post has something to do with history, what’s right, and prophesy.

    I’ve written about Israel and Palestine before HERE and ten months later HERE.

    The Book of Mormon was written so that we, the Gentiles of today, will understand what is coming in our future. The Book of Mormon is meant for our day and is meant to guide us.

    I’ve recently been reading Hugh Nibley’s thoughts on what the Book of Mormon teaches us about how a civilization and a people can go wrong and destroy themselves.

    I probably lost most people at “prophesy.” Prophesy is real. And while I put my head in the ground about political affairs and current events, I think the rest of the world puts its head in the ground when it comes to prophesy.

    Hugh Nibley emphasized, as I’ve been studying his words regarding Mormon chapters 1-9, how the ancient inhabitants of Mesoamerica ultimately destroyed themselves. He detailed how the chosen people of this land, those who were given this land and given God’s covenant that it would be their land as long as they followed Him – how those people lost their favor and were destroyed.

    The extinction of a people started with:

    Pride.

    No repentance.

    War.

    Revenge.

    War is justified when it comes in self-defense. The thing I want to focus on here is revenge. Hugh Nibley talks about how the Nephites of the Book of Mormon were destroyed when they officially became a bloodthirsty people bent on revenge. God withdrew from them when they decided they would avenge all their fallen brothers who had been killed.

    Which leads to me today, long having put my head in the ground since that post about Palestine and Israel four years ago.

    I accidentally read an article about the current state of the Israel – Palestine war.

    I decided to write this post when I read this:

    “Signs for this old-new vocabulary are everywhere. It is common among Jews, for example, to add the initials for “blessed his memory” next to the name of the dead – but in this war, almost every soldier or civilian victim is memorialized with the phrase “Hashem yikom damo” (God will avenge his blood).”

    God punishes the wicked with the wicked. You don’t want to become the people punishing the wicked in the name of God. Because at that point, you are the wicked. And at that point, your day will come too.

    I fear how long the United State of America has felt the need to be the aggressor in the war against wickedness around the world.

    There is a big difference between wars of self-defense, wars of aggression, and wars of revenge.

    Ceasing to remember the blessed memory of loved ones and instead seeking to avenge blood is not God’s way.

    The world has long said this is how God works. It is not how God works. It is how Satan works. And when people think they’re acting on behalf of God but really being led chain-linked by Satan, the worst atrocities happen.

    Prophesy is being fulfilled before our eyes and the world collectively puts its head in the ground.

    Which leads to my concluding point that Hugh Nibley mentions. Ultimately, we will all be judged for our own actions. What we do matters. All we can do is what we can do – kindness, forgiveness, love, peace, avoid contention, avoid fighting, avoid hatred, avoid judgment, meekness, humility, faith. These are the things we can do in a world that is lost and confused. A world that is deviating. A world that distances itself from God more and more every day.

    You do your part. You do what’s right.

    You love. That’s all.

    9/15/25 Update

    As I painfully, accidentally read more political information, I come back to add more because it seems relevant to what I’ve already written.

    Some recent quotes I’ve read from Donald Trump regarding Charlie Kirk’s assassination:

    “The radicals on the left are the problem. And they’re vicious and they’re horrible and they’re politically savvy.”

    “We have radical left lunatics out there, and we just have to beat the hell out of them.”

    And then I read articles and comments and it’s all attack attack attack hate hate hate while yelling at Trump for saying to attack attack attack. Does no one see the irony?

    The same article with the headline

    later, quietly, adds:

    “The president added in a separate answer that he would urge his supporters to follow a nonviolent path in response to the shooting. “He [Kirk] was an advocate of nonviolence,” Trump said. “That’s the way I’d like to see people respond.””

    Why does “beat the hell out of them” get the headline?

    Because it evokes emotion on both sides. It gets clicks.

    The same article that condemns Trump for violent speech chooses to promote the violent speech.

    Why?

    Because the violent inflammatory statement get the clicks.

    It is all hypocrisy.

    I’m not excusing Trump’s, “beat the hell out of them.” I am condemning it. But if we fail for this click-baiting and this hatred, this you against us mentality, we become part of the problem.

    Then I read Governor Cox of Utah’s statements:

    “We can return violence with violence; we can return hate with hate. That’s the problem with political violence. It metastasizes. We can always point the figure at the other side. At some point we have to find an off ramp, or else it’s going to get much worse.”

    I stand by the Governor Cox’s words.

    An eye for an eye quickly becomes lives for lives. Revenge hurts everyone.

    How do we find an off ramp?

    Again, from Governor Cox:

    “Social media is a cancer on our society right now,” Cox said. “And I would encourage people to log off, turn off, touch grass, hug a family member, go out and do good in your community.”

    Love. Forgive. Look past the thing you disagree with someone on and instead look at the beautiful, passionate, important person they are.

    We all have a divine heritage and one day we will be embarrassed about how we thought of the people around us.

    There is no other side. There are only people. We are all imperfect and the sooner we realize that and forgive and show love, the better we will all be. Only love can heal the divide in our world.

  • Are We Living in the End Times?

    Are We Living in the End Times?

    A simple Google search led to something I found very funny. My attention was caught by a headline for a link, “Do you believe Jesus will return to Earth?”

    Yes, yes, I do. But do others?

    This article was from December 2022, and it was a Pew research poll asking U.S. adults that simple, yet complex and extraordinarily important question: Is Jesus returning to Earth? (You know, just the question, is the Creator and God of this Earth gonna, you know, come back, ever? Not a big deal).

    What I came across was so funny I had to share it. The Google search was “are we in the end of times?”

    The fact that others believe we’re close to the end, as I do, did not surprise me, or make me laugh.

    What made me laugh, was this:

    That’s one confused atheist.

    For the record, “Atheist – a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.”

    “Agnostic – a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.”

    So I guess the agnostic through some mental gymnastics could say they believe Jesus Christ is coming back to earth.

    But man, do I want to meet that atheist! I have a lot of questions.

    So, are we living in the “End Times?”

    I think undoubtedly, we are. I go back and forth on how soon that will be. For the record, we’ve been in the “end times” for decades. This is the last dispensation, and we know it will happen soon. Soon is a relative term and whether soon is 5 years or 100, it will still be soon. I have a hard time believing this system we find ourselves in can last much longer. How much longer can greed, corruption, war, and famine last before the system falls apart?

    I’ll stop there. Beth tells me I’m being depressing with this topic again. Until next time.

  • Forgiveness, Doves, and The Chosen

    Forgiveness, Doves, and The Chosen

    Surprisingly I haven’t written about the Chosen yet.

    I’m about to finish season 3. I think this is an important TV show.

    In this season, there is a moment when Mary is talking to Tamar, a woman from Ethiopia.

    Mary voices jealousy towards Tamar for seemingly being able to push her way into the group without any hardships. Mary points out that she needed demons cast from her and to be pulled drunk from a tavern to get to her current place with Jesus. Mary seems to think Tamar is lacking humility due to her lack of trials.

    It was at this point that Tamar said something that jumped out at me while I watched:

    “Jesus forgave you, but you choose to hold on to it.”

    An episode later we get a look into Matthew’s past. Matthew is my favorite character.

    We see a flashback to when an old man came to Matthew during Matthew’s time as a tax collector. The man brazenly admits to legally accumulating tons of debt in an effort to help his children. The man will be sentenced to a prison camp because he’ll never be able to pay back the debt. He doesn’t care; he is an old man.

    The man then gives Matthew some prayer tassels. They are seemingly worthless, but the meaning of the old prayer tassels was significant to the old man. To him, those tattered tassels were priceless.

    The man gives them as a gift to Matthew telling him that one day he may regain his faith and need them. Matthew insists that he will never need those prayer tassels. The man insists.

    Matthew held onto those tassels and Mary found them.

    When Mary asked about them, Matthew told her the story. He didn’t understand why the man gave this sentimental item to him. Mary explained that the old man wasn’t giving some prayer tassels to Matthew, he was giving his faith to Matthew.

    Matthew’s response:

    “Why would he do that for someone like me?”

    Mary then told a story about a time she was going to kill herself. The only thing that stopped her was a dove. She saw it in the distance and took it as a sign that she shouldn’t do what she was considering.

    She told Matthew that man who gave away his prayer tassels was Matthew’s dove.

    These scenes from this powerful show gave me a lot to ponder.

    I often feel like Mary and Matthew.

    “Jesus forgave you, but you choose to hold onto it.”

    “Why would he do that for someone like me?”

    I pondered on whether I’m holding onto anything. Are you?

    The second question is a question I ask myself often. Why would God do this for someone like me? Why did Christ suffer, for me?

    Are we too hard on ourselves?

    I think back on some of my doves.

    Love is Powerful.

    The Inspiration.

    RIP Coach.

    Sometimes I think I’m like Mary, holding onto guilt that Christ no longer wants me to hold. That said, I have an interesting relationship with my guilt. I don’t dwell on it. I think a lot of it has left me. Still, sometimes I think I feel unworthy.

    We all hold onto things we should let go, becuase Christ already forgave us.

    We are surrounded by doves, those people that see our potential. We can always be the dove to someone else when they feel like they’re coming up short.

    We all feel unworthy sometimes, even though those around us see our potential. And God always sees our potential.