No Coincidences

Tag: grace

  • Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    Beth’s Talk on Mosiah 3:19 (January)

    This is a talk, exactly as written, by Beth, that she gave in church in January. She rehearsed the talk verbally to me multiple times before I heard it in church. Of course, through hearing it I knew it was a great talk, but it wasn’t until proofreading and preparing to post this that I was struck by how phenomenal a talk this really was. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as much as I did. And now, Beth –

    Mosiah 3:19 Talk
    January 9, 2022
    Good morning brothers and sisters.
    I wanted to start by introducing my family as we are one of the families that were blended into this ward with the recent changes in the stake. My name is Elisabeth Quackenbush. My husband is Brayden Quackenbush. We met in the Scottsdale Young Single Adult Ward in 2017 and have been married for over 2 years. We have a one year old daughter named Ivy. You’ll see her running around Sunday School for another 5 months but she is very excited to start nursery after that.

    The topic I was given to speak on this morning is the scripture Mosiah 3:19. When I was informed this was my assignment I wasn’t really surprised. This scripture comes into my mind a lot and is brought up in conversations about life all the time when I’m chatting with my husband. I think it sticks in my mind because it stands in such contrast to a lot of the attitudes of the world these days.

    For those of you that memorized scripture mastery back in the day you may remember this scripture, but as a reminder, this scripture is King Benjamin speaking to his people in the Book of Mormon. It reads,

    “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

    When we break down this verse, we can derive meaning in a variety of ways. The first that I noted is that the natural man is inherently selfish. The second is the importance of change to the Eternal Plan of Happiness.

    Boyd K Packer stated in his 1990 talk, “Put Off the Natural Man, and Come Off
    Conqueror”:
    “Unchecked selfishness [of the natural man] stubbornly blocks the way for developing all of the divine qualities: love, mercy, patience, long-suffering, kindness, graciousness, goodness, and gentleness. Any tender sprouts from these virtues are sheared off by sharp selfishness. Contrariwise, I cannot think of a single gospel covenant the keeping of which does not shear off selfishness from us.”

    Through the influence of the Holy Ghost, and the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can and should change from the narrow focus of the natural man and become, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to the will of God.”

    This idea of our ability and strength to change stands in stark contrast to the pervasive attitude of our society. This attitude states that we are born a certain way. We can’t change, and even shouldn’t want to change. If we do change, we are inauthentic. On the surface, this has a false sense of empowerment, I think. However, this idea that change is bad and that we must only be one way for the rest of our life is truly limiting, almost an eternal purgatory of mediocrity. Compare this to the freedom and growth permitted to us through Jesus Christ’s suffering, that we may improve and become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    My husband and I have had the opportunity to have many deep, religious
    conversations with friends of a variety of backgrounds. We often come across
    criticism of our faith’s belief that we can take steps, including repentance, baptism, and participating in temple ordinances, to change and become like God. We are accused of valuing works and forgetting the grace provided through Jesus Christ. On the contrary… His grace is the key element that permits us TO become new beings.

    In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we read, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new
    creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

    Brad Wilcox does a beautiful job in his BYU talk, “His Grace is Sufficient” at outlining how the Atonement of Jesus Christ, through His death and resurrection, provides us the need to change… (forgive me for this lengthy quote but as many of you know, this talk is incredible…)

    “[Yes, we are saved by Grace but] Have you been changed by grace? [We] are so excited about being saved that we are not thinking enough about what comes next. We are so happy the debt is paid that we may not have considered why the debt existed in the first place. Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for.

    “A life impacted by grace eventually begins to look like Christ’s life. While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us,
    Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us.

    “As Moroni puts it, grace isn’t just about being saved. It is also about becoming like the Savior. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can live after we die but that we can live more abundantly. The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed.“

    Again, just think for a minute… how does that compare to what we are being taught by the world? I can’t change, I shouldn’t change…

    HOW DO WE PUT OFF THE NATURAL MAN AND BECOME LIKE CHRIST?

    We can actively seek this positive change…

    In her 1998 BYU Speech, Wendy Watson, now well known as Wendy Nelson, lists some ways. One is reflection. She notes how Alma directs this type of reflection:

    “Just how does Alma invite these change-inducing reflections? One way is through his use of questions. In Alma 5 alone, more than 40 questions are offered—questions like:
    ‘Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? . . .
    . . . If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?‘ [Alma 5:14, 26]. Through the process of persistent questioning, Alma invites us to reflect over and over again: on our status with the Lord, on our spiritual growth and development, on things that need to change or have changed—and before we know it our desire for more change increases.”

    Another idea is to listen to the uplifting voices of authority in your life remembering, “As helpful as human voices of authority are, none can or should replace the ultimate voice of authority—the Word himself: the Savior Jesus Christ. What are you doing to hear his voice in your life? What are you doing to establish his voice as the voice of authority for you?”

    Other ways we can develop this change to become more like Him… Consistently and earnestly repent, seek out holy places, take steps of faith, pray to Him daily.”

    Sometimes change finds us…whether it be through loss, grief, depression, or trials in life, change is often thrust upon us in this mortal life. Again, the world finds few answers as to why there is such suffering and grief in the world. His eternal plan of growth and development is sometimes the only answer that makes sense. If we are to become like Christ, our innocent brother that felt all the sufferings of the world, how can we expect to be truly changed without some suffering of our own?

    Peter in speaking of [trials], said: “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

    When we endure this life, put off the natural man, and develop into more Christ-like beings, we set ourselves up to feel an even greater degree of joy in this life and in eternity.

    This topic makes me think of a time when I came back to church after living a life that was not in line with what I knew to be right. I made many positive changes when I started coming back and attending the Scottsdale Young Single Adult ward. I starting observing the sabbath day, stopped a lifestyle of college partying, broke off a serious relationship, and made several other difficult but important decisions.

    However, with all this positive change and shunning of the enticings of the natural man, I still felt like I wasn’t receiving the blessings I thought I would. I wallowed in self pity over my own suffering for a while because of this and even wondered if all of my change was for nothing.

    However, I eventually decided I would stop focusing on what I needed and instead turned outward. I made it my mission to seek anyone in my ward that seemed lonely as I was. I sought opportunities to serve those that were also going through a variety of trials. And a miracle happened! The less I focused on my pain, my loneliness, my loss, and focused on loving those around me as Christ did, I really came to find true joy.

    I couldn’t believe how sincerely I loved everyone around me. I didn’t feel lonely. I developed new, Christ-like attributes. And ultimately, I shunned the ultimate trait of the natural man – selfishness. What a blessing that lesson was for my life.

    I know how hard it can be to put off the feelings we have as humans in a difficult mortal journey. It is something we will actively have to work for as long as we live. However, I know that when we let ourselves change and take on the characteristics of Christ we will prepare ourselves to find real joy in eternity. We will truly have cause to rejoice in his second coming.

    I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

  • A Scripture as important to Latter-day Saints as it would be to the Ancient Jews

    A Scripture as important to Latter-day Saints as it would be to the Ancient Jews

    One of my favorite scriptures of all time is 2 Nephi 25:26 which reads:

    And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophesies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”

    A common criticism that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints receives from other sects of Christianity, often Protestant groups, is that the Church teaches works as a form of salvation taking precedence over faith.

    As I read the Book of Mormon with this criticism in mind, I’m struck by how clearly the Book of Mormon teaches this principle – that faith in Jesus Christ is the most important thing.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is (as far as I know, open to correction) the only church with an explanation on how faith in Jesus Christ alone can result in being saved. 

    Saved, or immortality, is different from Eternal life and salvation.  All of God’s children who choose to be saved, will be saved, for He loves us all.  You can be saved by simply having faith in Jesus Christ, no works needed.  To attain all that the Father has to give, eternal life and salvation in His Kingdom for eternity, you must follow Him, and do what He asks of you.  For without works faith is dead (James 2:26).

    Sometimes I think the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would be benefitted immensely by reading verses 26 and 27 of 2 Nephi chapter 25 every single day.  I think if we each did this, it would help us to re-orient ourselves and never lose sight of what is most important – faith in the Lord, or Savior, Jesus Christ. 

    The below scripture is what I am referring to in the title of this post.  This scripture is as important to latter-day saints today as it was to the ancient Jews:

    Wherefore, we speak concerning the law that our children may know the deadness of the law; and they, by knowing the deadness of the law, may look forward unto that life which is in Christ, and know for what end the law was given. And after the law is fulfilled in Christ, that they need not harden their hearts against him when the law ought to be done away.”

    2 Nephi 25:27

    I believe this scripture to be extremely important to latter-day saints.  The ancient Jews lost sight of Jesus Christ.  They looked to the law for salvation.

    I bear my testimony that I do not believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has lost sight of Jesus Christ.  His name is the name of our church, His prophet has implored us to use His name, our leaders preach of Jesus Christ, prophesy of Jesus Christ, teach of Jesus Christ, emphasize Jesus Christ.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints points us to Jesus Christ.

    It is we, the members, I think, that need to read verse 27 often.  What is the law without Jesus Christ?  I fear that sometimes church members become focused on the wrong things.  Temple attendance for temple attendance’s sake.  Church service because it’s their duty.  Serving in church callings to keep up appearance as a faithful latter-day saint.  Partaking of the sacrament in a rote, mindless manner, not considering what it really means.

    I know I am at fault when it comes to some of the things I’ve just listed.  Sometimes I lose sight of Jesus Christ.  Sometimes I lose sight of what this is all really about.

    I’ve been back in church activity for 5 years now.  My first couple years of returned church activity were so Christ focused.  They were Christ focused because it was all I had.  He was all I had.  He was my strength, and He was everything.  I felt His forgiveness so potently because I’d so recently experienced it with such power.  As my church activity has steadied and become consistent, I’ve found myself relying on church activities, social events, friendships, and making my appearance as a faithful member.  These things aren’t necessarily bad, but they can be.  If they distract from Jesus Christ, they distract from the point.  If I get distracted from Jesus Christ, I am missing the mark.

    What is the law without faith in He who the law points to?

    I think we could all benefit from a consistent study of verse 2 Nephi 25:27.

    Why do we do what we do?  Is it for love?  Is it to serve Jesus Christ?  Is it to remember Jesus Christ, worship Jesus Christ, thank Jesus Christ?

    When is the last time you thought about all your sins and what Jesus Christ did for you at Gethsemane and on the cross?  For me, it’s been far too long since I’ve been brought to tears considering that event.  I’m glad I’m writing this because in doing exactly that, remembering what He’s done for me, and feeling it in my heart, tears are inevitable. 

    Remember why we go to church, the temple, and serve.  It’s for Him.  Not because we have to but because we want to.  Not because it will get us into heaven but because we love Him.  Salvation is through Jesus Christ.  If we go to the temple 5 days a week without Him in mind, we are wasting our time.

    Without Jesus Christ, all of it: temple worship, baptism, sacrament, service; it’s all for naught.  All these things point to Him.  Without Him as our focus all the items listed above are dead works.  

    This is the misconception of other faiths, that we go to the temple to substitute for Jesus Christ.  That couldn’t be farther from the truth.  We go to the temple because of Jesus Christ.

    I think every once in a while, it’s important we re-center our focus and remember what it’s all about.

    I hope and pray that we continue to steadfastly talk of Christ, rejoice in Christ, preach of Christ, prophesy of Christ, and bring others unto Christ, that we always remember to what source we may look for a remission of our sins.

  • Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    Sunday Meditation and Basketball

    In November of 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I’m not doing anything real impressive.  I spend the first 10 minutes of every day laying on my back on the ground.  I started by listening to guided meditations on YouTube.  Now I have the Calm App on my phone which I highly recommend.  I rotate between guided meditations and simply laying with my eyes closed, in prayer and thought.  Early on I found meditation to be extremely beneficial.  My days would start off right.  I would be calmer and more patient with any challenge that arose throughout the day.  I know this is hard to gauge and measure.  Maybe I wasn’t calmer or more patient, but I felt more calm and patient.  That has to be almost as good.

    When I started meditating, I immediately noticed answers to prayers.  Those 10 minutes have become the most important 10 minutes of my day.  I look forward to that time to spend with my own thoughts and with God.  It’s an opportunity to slow down and think about what I want to accomplish; in life and for that day.  It’s time to stop and consider all that I have to be grateful for.

    I think I’ve written about his before, but when I was coming back to church, initially a big help was basketball on weekend mornings.  For years my weekends were spent out late.  When I was trying to stop drinking and stop going out as much, Saturday morning (7am) basketball became critical.  It was something I could look forward to.  It motivated me to stay in on a Friday night so I could get up early and play.  I also played Sunday mornings.  They were my two favorite days every week.

    Weekend Warrior

    Sunday morning basketball never conflicted with church.  I was in the Young Single Adult Ward which didn’t meet until 1pm.  I could easily play 7am-10am and have a few hours to shower, relax, read, study, and pray before church began.

    One Sunday morning I got up to play like I always did.  I was walking around my room getting dressed.  It was time to walk out the door to leave so I bent over to pick up my gym bag.  As I started to stand up the craziest thing happened.  My back completely gave out.  Luckily, I was near my bed (which still resided on box springs on the floor, like I liked it) so I literally fell sideways onto my bed.  I was in excruciating pain.  I called my mom and she said to take some ibuprofen, the basic mom guidance stuff.  I still had it in my mind that I could go play.  I was 26 years old, surely, I didn’t actually throw my back out…right?  I quickly realized, I did.

    Me that weekend

    As I laid in my bed, I wondered what to do.  I loved reading my scriptures, especially Sunday mornings after basketball and before church.  So, I pulled out my scriptures and continued to read where I’d left off in the book of Alma.

    I remember reading the story of the sons of Mosiah that morning in Alma 17-27.  I remember being struck by one thing: the sons of Mosiah were offered the kingdom.  They were each individually asked to be the king of their people.  They were asked to rule, to have power, to have the comforts and honors of the world given to them for the rest of their life.  Instead, they chose to forsake worldly possessions and go on a mission to the Lamanites.  One by one they chose to reject kingship and go to a land of people that were open about their desire to kill any Nephite that came into their presence, let alone a Nephite set to inherit the Nephite kingdom.

    What inspired Ammon and his brothers, the sons of Mosiah to forsake the kingdom and instead choose to preach the gospel?  They saw an angel.  I can’t describe exactly what happened to me that day, studying in my bed.  Something happened.  I was so filled with the spirit.  I felt like I was floating.  It was the most uplifting and edifying scripture study I’d ever had.  I grew so much that morning.  I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since.  That morning, along with learning so much about the sons of Mosiah and who I wanted to be, I also learned the value of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

    I don’t think basketball was the worst thing to do on a Sunday morning, far from it.  I think those first few months of Sunday morning basketball had a huge impact on me and helped me stay away from activities it was important for me to stay away from at that time.  That morning though, I came to a crossroad.  The temptations of prior months had lessened.  I was immersing myself in the scriptures and praying daily.  That morning I learned how much I could gain on Sunday mornings. 

    I haven’t played basketball on a Sunday since that morning I threw my back out.  Instead, every Sunday morning I try to pray, read, and study.  My study isn’t as good as it has been in the past, I can always improve.  But, staying in on Sunday, preparing for church, praying, pondering my blessings, being with my wife, has become my favorite part of every week.

    In November 2019 I started meditating every morning.  I meditate 7 days a week.  There’s a strange phenomenon I’ve experienced during this time.  I meditate every single day.  But, on Sundays, something is different.  I don’t meditate with the hopes of becoming emotional.  I enjoy it when it happens.  I enjoy feeling the spirit so strongly that, as I lay on the ground in gratitude to my Heavenly Father, tears sometimes come to my eyes.  It happens every so often.  What I’ve noticed is it happens mostly on Sundays.

    Without fail, as I lay and meditate on Sundays, I will be moved by the grace of Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father.  I will contemplate the Atonement of my Savior.  I’ll consider the suffering He went through for me.  I’ll think about where I’ve been and where I am now.  I’ll wonder how God can love us so much.

    Grace of Christ

    I bear testimony that Sunday is a special day.  It’s not special because it’s specifically Sunday.  That’s the day we, our society, have set aside as a day to worship.  It could be Monday or Friday, doesn’t matter.  What matters is it’s a day for the Lord.  It’s important because it’s a day set aside for God.  He has given us all our days, our lives, what is one day a week in return?  I know that the Sabbath day is a special day.  I know it holds power.  I know it gives rejuvenating strength in a world that unceasingly sucks our spiritual resolve from us throughout the week.  I know it because I’ve experienced it.

    I would invite everybody to spend some time every Sunday morning in prayer.  I promise you will feel something special.  The Sabbath day is profound.  Keep it holy.  It was a long journey for me to truly appreciate the power of the Sabbath.  I know that we’re blessed for keeping the Sabbath holy.  In the scriptures, keeping the Sabbath is said to be what separates God’s people from the world.  Keep the Sabbath holy and I promise God will pour out blessings on you.  I know because he has on me.

  • Judged

    Heading into my ninth-grade year my family moved.  This resulted in me attending a new ward.  I got a zone variance so I could go to the school I would have gone to if I didn’t move.  I had developed friendships through middle school that I didn’t want to give up.  The funny thing is how quickly those friendships dissolved.  Not because of falling out or anything dramatic, just growing up and growing apart.  I played basketball and that became my friend group.

    My new ward had a few guys my age.  From day one, I don’t think I ever felt like I completely belonged.  They had been friends their whole lives and I was new.  On top of that, we had no similar interests.  For example, I played sports; they played video games, and that sort of thing.

    I’ve looked back and thought a lot about those years.  During my time in that ward I started to drift further and further away.  It got to the point that I just felt unwelcome.  Back then, being a popular basketball player at my high school was more important than anything. I looked down on this group of friends that I never belonged to.  As I got a girlfriend, I started to think I was cool.  As I started to make serious mistakes, I started to think I was better than them because I was experiencing the world and I thought I was more mature.

    Then I started to feel judged by them.  I started to feel ostracized.  I still remember meeting with my bishop at the time.  He was the father of one of those friends in the group.  He was a young, kind man.  He was easy to get along with and a good guy.  I remember telling him I wasn’t worthy to bless the sacrament.  I couldn’t help but feel that he’d told his son, who’d told his friends, and the ostracizing got worse. 

    Over time, that feeling festered.  I didn’t think about it too intensely, but I had this idea that they all knew and they all judged me for it.  In hindsight, that bishop was a great guy and there’s very little chance he ever told his son anything about my transgressions.  He may have told his son to look out for me or to help me. That could have made his son think some things.  I strongly doubt he told him anything about my mistakes.  Yet, over time, this thought became something I assumed was true.

    Now I look back on these days with a much different perspective.  Something I’ve come to realize is that I was never judged by that group of friends.  They tried to welcome me and they tried to make me a member of their group.  Any judgment I felt was my own.

    It’s been a long journey to get to this point.  To come to the realization that I was the one ostracizing myself.  I was the one judging myself.  I didn’t feel welcome because I was making myself unwelcome.  It wasn’t something I realized until I looked back. Many years later I was able to see it, after some growth and real maturing. 

    What helped me come to this realization was reading the story of Cain and Abel.  The scriptures say that Cain loved Satan more than God.  Satan tricked Cain and misled him.  That’s what happened to me those many years ago. Satan tricked and misled me.  He led me to believe these good, kind, friendly individuals didn’t like me.  I allowed my pride to make me think I was better than them.  Satan promoted that thinking.  Satan led me to be mindful of the world and I followed along.

    It was only through the grace of Jesus Christ and His atonement that I was able to come away from that part of my life with an understanding of what was actually happening.  I’m grateful that time didn’t foster even more of a feeling of animosity or negativity towards the church.  I’m glad I was always able to separate perceived wrongs and unkindness of individuals from the love of my Savior.  It’s now these years later, because of my Savior, that I’m able to see I was wrong and judging myself.  I learned to love God more than the world.  The atonement of Jesus Christ allowed me to be forgiven for those mistakes I made and also gave me the perspective to see the humble kindness I was always surrounded by.

    I hope everyone out there can separate the people of Christ’s Church, imperfect as we are, from Christ Himself.  Christ loves us so much.  He knows us.  He judges us only with love.  Members of the Church always fall short.  We’re not there yet.  As long as we keep trying, maybe we’ll one day get there.  But for now, I plead for you to remember Christ is perfect, we’re not.  Make sure you have a testimony of Him first.  Everything else will fall in line.

    If anyone has felt judged or would like to share your experience, I’d love to hear it.  Thanks for reading.