No Coincidences

Tag: growth

Ivy James Quackenbush 12/4/20

Ivy came today. I’m writing this in a bit of a haze. I keep getting told to get used to it.

Beth started having contractions around 2AM this morning. Apparently I asked her if she was OK around 2:30AM. Don’t have a complete recollection of that.

Around 5AM her water broke. We were at the hospital around 6AM. Beth got checked in and I believe was around 3.5cm.

At 6:30AM I received a text from my father-in-law (shout out Keith Cannon), “Of course we’re praying for Beth and Ivy. But also for you. I hope you stay conscious. Good luck.”

Between 6AM and 8:30AM things moved very quickly.

At 7:57AM I texted my mom and told her Beth seemed to be in so much pain. They wanted her to finish some pitocin.

I think it was 8:30AM when they came back in and kind of freaked out. Beth was in excruciating pain and at about 9cm. 10cm (I learned) is what is needed to start delivery.

I started getting our stuff together while they quickly wheeled her to the delivery room. When I came out into the hallway they were gone. I started wandering and came upon a man in scrubs. I asked him if someone came this way and he asked who. I told him he would have known if they did. I walked down the other hall and came up to a nurse. She asked what I was looking for and I said, “the screaming.” She led me to the delivery room.

I texted my mom from the delivery room at 9:07am, “Close.”

They finally got the epidural in at that time which made things drastically better. Beth improved immediately.

From 9:07AM to 9:23AM Beth went from writhing, screaming, and crying in pain to texting my mom. “Epidural has kicked in and I’m 10cm. I’ll probably deliver in an hour or so. They were shocked how fast I was moving.”

I’ve heard over and over about this thing that happens when becoming a father. I can’t emphasize it enough. I can’t say it with adequate enthusiasm or exaggeration.

When I first saw Ivy James Quackenbush my heart expanded, my world flipped upside down. In an instant I realized I would do anything, I would give my life without a second thought and at a moment’s notice for that beautiful soul. She was perfect, so beautiful.

I wish I could put it into words, but they’re not enough. My life as I knew it was over. And I knew it. This little thing was the new center. The center of my universe- along with Beth.

Watching what Beth went through, so much pain, to bring this life into the world. I instantly had something open up inside of me. Appreciation for my mother. ‘She went through this for me?!?!’ Love and awe at the strength of my wife and all women. How can a man walk out on a wife after seeing her bring the most important thing in the world, into the world? I thought of so many mothers – Eve, Mary, my mom, my wife. My Ivy.

How can women be treated the way they are in the world when they are the entire world? They’re why we’re all here.

I loved these two in a way I didn’t know was possible.

I couldn’t stop staring at Ivy. The gravitational pull of the universe had changed.

Beth held her and she screamed. Let the record show I cut the cord. She screamed and it was simultaneously the most fascinating and most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I didn’t know a scream could be so powerful.

I put my finger out and Ivy grabbed. She stopped screaming. The nurses started to take her for measurements and she wouldn’t let go of my finger. My heart!

I followed her. The thoughts I hadn’t let start because her coming had always been surreal started to flood my mind: I’m going to play basketball with her. I hope she loves basketball. We’ll play together. We’ll be best friends. I hope I never hurt her. I hope I can always protect her.

How does Heavenly Father love me? I’m a little closer to understanding today. I’m a little closer to understanding what true love is.

Ivy James Quackenbush and Elisabeth Brooke Quackenbush. My family.

7lb 3oz 21in 10:59am. Perfect.

December 4, 2020
Listen, Learn, Love
I recently listened to an episode from a podcast called Listen, Learn Love. This podcast has opened up my ways of thinking on a few topics. The episode I listened to recently I basically want to summarize (steal) because the points made are so simple, so well-said, and so true.

Here is a link to the website for the podcast if you want to learn more: https://www.listenlearnandlove.org/

The episode I recently listened to that I’m writing thoughts on here is episode 2 and can be found if you search for podcast “Listen, Learn, and Love.”

The podcast is hosted by Richard Ostler. He is a former Young Single Adult Ward Bishop. He has now done 334 episodes of his podcast which “was created out of the desire to better understand our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. We believe in God and in His decree to love one another.” – from the mission statement on the website.

Episode 2 does not focus on the LGBTQ+ topic which I feel is an extremely important topic in the church. Still, this episode is also important and I learned a lot from it.

The topic was faith-crisis. Whether minor or major, any faith crisis is difficult to go through. When I was returning to church my uncle said something that has stuck with me. He said he wouldn’t wish the losing of faith on his worst enemy. You can lose cars, homes, family, money, everything in this world, but losing your faith is the hardest thing that a person can possibly go through.

As I continue to write I will be presenting many ideas that came directly from Brother Ostler. Please listen to the episode. For ease of writing, I won’t reference Brother Ostler in everything I’ll continue to say. Just know most of these thoughts came directly from him, and I hope to re-state them without taking too much away from them.

In my writing, I often refer to “The Church.” When I say this I am referring to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Something I’d never considered is how important it is to clarify what we mean when we say, “The Church.” The Latter-day Saint Church could mean different things to different people.

A couple categories for “The Church” are
1. The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
  - This was described beautifully by Brother Ostler as a pristine, clear-watered pool. No murkiness. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect in every way. This hasn’t been completely revealed yet.
2. The restored Church of Jesus Christ.
  - It has the restored priesthood and priesthood keys. Ideally, this would be perfect. I think we sometimes confuse this category with the next category I’ll mention. The restored Church of Jesus Christ should be perfect. The problem is, as we know, Christ must use fallible men and women to run His church.
3. The institutional church.
  - This is where we get into a flawed organization. The institutional church has many people, programs, and policies that are meant to implement the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The institutional church is run by men and women and therefore has flaws. Christ guides the institutional church, but people make mistakes. Brother Ostler points out in the podcast that as a YSA Bishop he was a part of the institutional church and he knew he made mistakes as a Bishop, a leader in the church.
Much of the hurt that comes into the souls of God’s children is caused by the institutional church. It is critical to not confuse “The Church” the institution with the pure and perfect Gospel of Jesus Christ.

A faith crisis is a serious event that can happen to anybody. You can’t always read and pray a faith crisis away. We are here to develop faith and while here our faith will be tested. Sometimes to the very brink. It’s important to get our roots in the correct place. Is your faith in a bishop? It shouldn’t be, it should be in Jesus Christ. The best bishop in the world can let you down. Jesus Christ can not.

The fourth article of faith: “We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: FIRST, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Articles of Faith can be read here. I invite everyone to read and focus on the first four articles of faith in the Restored Church of Jesus Christ. You’ll notice not only is Jesus Christ’s name in the name of the Church, but that He is referenced three times in the first four articles.

Our foundation must be on Christ.

Brother Ostler talked about the Policy Statement of 2015 and how it created a “mini faith crisis” for him. These were changes made by the institutional church and have since been reversed. He talked about how difficult that was for him, personally. He is not the first person I’ve heard that was impacted in a sad, difficult way by those changes. He emphasized that the brethren (leaders of the church) were doing their best. Brother Ostler referred to dominoes, and how the policy statements started to make dominoes fall in his faith. What saved Brother Ostler’s faith was that all his dominoes didn’t fall. As he stated so perfectly, some of his dominoes had roots to the center of the earth and couldn’t be shaken. He referenced Jesus Christ, priesthood blessings, and temples as the foundation of his faith.

The 2015 Policy Statement is a good example of what separates the institutional church from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The institutional church can and does make mistakes. Jesus Christ does not reverse. Jesus Christ does not change.

We must change the way we discuss faith crises. There are too many people who leave the church because they don’t feel heard. The idea that you can read or pray away a faith crisis is inaccurate and often leads individuals to feel like the “Church” is avoiding their concerns. We have to listen, as the Savior did, to those with concerns. Ask questions. Having a faith crisis does not mean someone is sinning. It can mean that, but it doesn’t always. Brother Ostler is a perfect example. His self-described “mini faith crisis” came while he was a YSA bishop spending dozens of hours each week in service to others. He was reading, praying, and serving as much as anyone could at that time. Imagine telling a bishop he needs to pray more, or read more, or do more to fix your problem. One could rightfully be turned off by this suggestion.

We must stop considering a faith crisis as a dirty topic that we must avoid. Thousands are having one at this moment. Those with unshaken faith must support and lift those who have a hard time. We must address questions head on and strengthen our faith together. We must strengthen each other. We are family. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is meant for everyone.

Now I’d like to share some of my personal story. I returned to church in 2016. I narrowly missed being an active member of the church when the policy statements came out. I know this was a hard time for the church. I know many people left. I know many people, like Brother Ostler, were shaken by the announcement.

I’ve often thought about my faith. I feel fortunate and blessed to have never experienced a personal faith crisis. Even in my time away from the church, I never doubted that Jesus Christ died for me. I never doubted Joseph Smith was a prophet. I never doubted the restored Church of Jesus Christ. I never doubted the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While I was living completely opposite to some of the teachings the church, I still knew it was true. I know I caused many head scratches from those who witnessed my verbal devotion while clearly ignoring all the precepts of the church.

I said my faith has always been a blessing to me. I believe it has. When I was living opposite to the principles of the gospel it felt like a curse. I’m sure I will need to answer for that one day. If I knew it so much to be true, I believe I’ll be more accountable for my behavior. Maybe that’s what gives me so much faith in Jesus Christ. I know how important His Atonement is to me personally. I have too many spots on my garments. Without Him I am a damned soul.

Maybe that’s difficult for others who have never grievously sinned. It’s easy to appreciate a lifeboat when you’re sinking in the ocean. What if you’re safe on shore, do you still have the same appreciation for the lifeboat? I’m not implying those who have lived just, kind, good lives start to finish are in anyway unappreciative of the sacrifice Jesus Christ made for them. I’m truly amazed by those I see that have been faithful and true for all of their mortal journey. I can only speak for myself. I was not true for all of my journey and it makes me worship and love my Savior so intensely.

I wonder what would have happened if I was in church in 2015. Would I have struggled? Would I have left?

I don’t know the answer to many questions.

A book I read recently repeated the idea that we (humanity) know so much; space travel, geography, math, science. Ask someone to give some thoughts about nature or history and everyone can provide some insight. Ask someone to provide some thoughts about who they are, and they will struggle. We often know and understand ourselves least of all the things in the world. I take comfort in knowing there are two individuals who know me infinitely better than I currently know myself.

I want to give advice to anyone currently in a faith crisis. Fight. Don’t lose your faith. Please. It’s the most valuable thing on this earth. You can lose your family, money, cars, your home, and you can lose your faith. I hope we all fight for our faith. Focus your faith on what is most important. All your questions – ask them. Doubt. Wonder. Have concern. Voice your concerns. But don’t forget where faith should lie. Jesus Christ is the only name whereby men can be saved (Acts 4:12).

Sometimes people will hurt, disappoint, or let you down. Sometimes those people may be leaders you trust. We all hurt and disappoint people we love. We must hope that we will receive mercy for the hurt we cause, and therefore should show mercy to those who hurt us. The great giver of all mercy is Jesus Christ. He loves each of us. He wants each of us to do whatever we can to come closer to Him. Stay close to Him and He will never let you down.

Find those experiences in your memory that remind you that Jesus Christ guides His church. Read the Book of Mormon and ask yourself if it could be false. Then ask yourself, if it is false, how can it so perfectly testify of Jesus Christ?

Find your foundation in sure things. The pure faith in Christ. Then fight for that faith. We hope the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can be a faith building organization for all. We hope that the covenants we make can strengthen our faith and the faith of those around us. But at all costs, do not mix the pure, perfect, pristine waters of the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the sometimes-murky institution run by us here on earth.
December 3, 2020
The Chance of Faith

One Sunday I was in my car with a friend, CJ Matthews. We were driving after church to go do something. I can’t remember what it was. Visit someone or give a blessing or something that like.

A few minutes into the drive I realized I was out of gas. I remembered I’d been out of gas since I left my home that morning to drive to church. It was 20 minutes to our location. It would be 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back to CJ’s car. Then the drive home. No way I could make it without getting gas.

Not me on a Sunday unless CJ is in the car.

I informed CJ of our dilemma. I let him know I wouldn’t be getting gas on a Sunday. God would get us there and get us back. If you could see the look on CJ’s face! It was great. His response, “Is God going to turn air into gasoline for you to return? Pull over and get gas. I’m not walking to a gas station.”

I eventually complied with his request, though begrudgingly. I had the faith that God would help us accomplish what we needed to accomplish without having to stop for gas.

This is a topic my wife and I playfully debate often. I try to say that I have no concern about my life or well-being. If I’m meant to die, I will die when God needs me back and not a second sooner. I joke often that the best way to die would be by lightning at the top of a mountain. That would clearly indicate an urgent need God had for me to return and start serving Him on the other side.

My wife is in the other school of thought. She agrees with CJ. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way. Don’t put yourself at risk. Don’t be stupid. Boring! I’m inclined to be stupid. Sometimes I consider it my way of showing God I have faith. I know, my wife has already told me I’m stupid.

Anyways.

I’ve made this a joking introduction but it’s something I truly struggle with.

Where does faith end and wise action start?

The principle is told in a story that I love and think about often. The story goes like this, I’ll tell my version.

A great flood comes, and a man gets on top of the roof of his house. A man comes by in a canoe. “Hop in!” he yells. The man on the roof calmly tells him no thanks. The water gets higher. A couple in a boat comes by. “Get in! The water is rising!” The man on the roof calmly denies the gesture and stays on his roof. The water gets higher. The man on the roof is close to being overtaken by the water. A helicopter comes by and throws a rope down. The man on the roof waves it away.

The man on the roof is finally overtaken by the water and drowns.

When in heaven he looks to God and asks, “I prayed the whole time I was on the roof. Why didn’t you help me?”

God replies, “I sent you a canoe, a boat, and a helicopter! What else did you want from me?”

I know what the scriptures tell us. I know God wants wise servants. I know he wants us to be prepared. I know He wants us to work problems out in our minds and learn to problem solve. I know we’re here to learn to make good choices.

But I also know we’re here to learn faith. We’re here to learn obedience. We’re here to learn to trust God.

I hope I live my life with a firm belief that God will guide me wherever He needs me as long as I do my part. I often joke about how God holds my hand and guides me to places, decisions, people. I often joke how God has been there with me every step of the way. He has blessed me in so many profound ways I can’t deny His loving guidance in every moment of my life.

I know that God still wants me to do my part.

So, I put my faith forward. God will get me there! Or does God put a gas station directly on my journey so I can get gas? How often is God up there, exasperated, “I put the gas station right along the way!” Or even better, “I put CJ and Beth around you to balance out your silly refusal to take care of yourself!”

I wonder how often I’m turning away the canoe, boat, and helicopter. I only hope I’m ultimately doing what God wants me to do. I think that’s the best any of us can do.

November 26, 2020
Lectures on Faith
Lectures on Faith – Introduction and Lecture 1: Faith Defined.

I’ve been watching a series of videos on the Lectures on Faith as supplemental material to my study of the Lectures.

If you’re not familiar with the lectures on faith, you can read them all here:

https://lecturesonfaith.com/

It’s unclear who officially wrote the Lectures on Faith, though they were approved of and taught by Joseph Smith. At a minimum, the concepts and theology of them comes from revelation given to Joseph Smith. Yet another example and evidence of his calling as a prophet.

I write here my notes and thoughts on these videos and the lectures. There are seven Lectures. The 10 video series I’ve been watching spans almost 5 hours and reviews each of the Lectures. In writing this it will help me put together my thoughts and understanding on what Joseph Smith tried to teach us about faith. Through this process I know my faith will grow by studying these principles. What Joseph Smith taught about faith is beyond profound, it is revelatory. I will need to study his words and all supplemental material for the rest of my life to get a grasp of the profound and eternal nature of faith. I look forward to reading over my notes here many times to refresh my mind and expand my knowledge on the subject.

Video 1 was an introduction to the Lectures. Video 2 was all about Lecture 1 – Faith Defined.

First, what are the Lectures on Faith? They are principles put together by Joseph Smith to help early elders to share the gospel.

What do the seven lectures cover? (from Video 1)

Lecture 1 What is faith?

Lecture 2 Links the principles of faith and the doctrine of revelation. The power of human testimony is the medium with which the gospel is passed from generation to generation.

Lectures 3 and 4 The character and attributes of God. If we don’t understand the attributes of God, we can’t have confidence to exercise proper faith in Him.

Lecture 5 The Godhead, nature of the members of the Godhead.

Lecture 6 The Law of Sacrifice.

Lecture 7 The fruits of faith.

What is the plan for the Lectures on Faith?
1. Teach what faith is.
2. Teach how to obtain faith.
3. What happens if you obtain faith?
Bob Millet

My favorite part from the first video was this suggestion from Bob Millet, one of the panelists. His suggestion was this: read the Lectures on Faith 20 times then you can start to study them.

Now that I have an overview on what all 7 lectures will cover and teach, I can get into Lecture 1.

Lecture 1: Faith Defined

Obvious question to start, what is faith?

Faith is the first principle in revealed religion and the foundation of righteousness. Faith is the substance of things hoped for but not seen (Hebrews 11:1). The lecture starts broad – faith is the belief that something will come to pass. Then it gets more religious in tone: “the principle of action in all intelligent beings.”

Faith is a principle of action. Faith implies works, it implies activity, both physical and mental. Just as faith is the moving action in all things temporal, so it is with spiritual (paragraph 12).

By faith God formed the earth. I think this is the most profound point from Lecture 1. That it is God’s faith that is His power. Take faith from God and He would cease to exist (paragraph 16). I know to many this seems like outright blasphemy. But before rejecting the idea without thought, consider what is being said. Faith is a principle of power. It is the power by which God formed the earth. Take away His faith, take away His power, He ceases to be God. Luckily for us God’s power cannot be taken away.

God’s faith and knowledge are equivalent. It is God’s perfect faith that allows His perfect knowledge. Consider: faith is believing in something that you haven’t yet seen. Since God’s faith is perfect what He has faith in will be, it will exist. We mortals look at faith as weak, unproven, unscientific. It is God’s trust in the Plan of Salvation that makes Him create worlds. It is God’s perfect faith that created those worlds. It is God’s perfect faith that makes Him the Almighty.

Again, faith is the power of God. If faith is that important, it adds a whole new meaning, explanation, and understanding to this life. Why do we move through life as if through a misty darkness, unsure of everything? Why the veil that covers our eyes and fogs our minds to so much that we used to know? Why don’t we know where we come from? Why don’t we know where we’re going? Why doesn’t God send angels down to tell us which church is true? Why doesn’t God allow profound miracles to occur before unbelievers’ eyes so they can KNOW that He exists? The reason God doesn’t do these things is due to the importance of faith. We are here to learn faith, develop faith, grow faith; because it is that important. God does not want to take that opportunity of growth and development away from us. He won’t. He knows how critical it is.

Faith, then, is the first great governing principle which has power, dominion, and authority over all things: by it they exist, by it they are upheld, by it they are changed, or by it they remain, agreeably to the will of God. Without it, there is no power, and without power there could be no creation, nor existence!” (Paragraph 24).

Link to Lecture 1: https://lecturesonfaith.com/1/

Link to Video 1 An Introduction on the Lectures: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiV4dCY9OEA&list=PLc5yYrpPFm2umksQf3jgULxoV4YIXTd2h&index=1

Link to Video 2 What is faith?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_EXFQK-KJE&list=PLc5yYrpPFm2umksQf3jgULxoV4YIXTd2h&index=2
November 12, 2020
First year of marriage during a pandemic-oh my!

Beth and I have been married for 15 months. If you’re doing the math, you’re realizing that our first 12 months of marriage included 3 months of quarantine. It seems silly for someone married 15 months to give marriage advice. But I’ll remind you, we’ve survived the great pandemic and quarantine period of 2020! I’d like to write some things I learned in the first year of marriage.

First let me comment on the pandemic. While being stuck with someone and quarantined with them for 6 months may be miserable for some, it’s made me realize how lucky I am to have a wife I love to be around. Beth and I have joked about how quarantine has been quite a blessing for us. We basically haven’t left each other’s side for 6 months. It’s crazy to think about. What’s even crazier is I love it. It’s given me a chance to appreciate her, talk with her, and be with her. We went through a stretch when the weather was nice where we were biking almost every day. That was great. As the heat set in, we transitioned into conversations and TV series together. It’s been nice.

It hasn’t been all roses and bliss. While we rarely fight, there are still frustrations. I’ll mention one (and don’t worry, this will be proofread by Beth before I post it).

Early on in our marriage I noticed a frustration setting in. If I cleaned a bathroom, or did laundry, or vacuumed the living room I would find myself resenting her. I would wonder why she didn’t help or do this or that.

I was letting this frustration build when I turned to someone for advice. This wise advice giver presented me with thoughts that completely turned around my way of thinking. He said that when he got married (39 years ago, congrats!) he was given some advice that he took to heart. He said he struggled with something similar early in marriage where he would fold the laundry and then expect his wife to do something in return. Someone explained to him that you don’t fold the laundry to keep a leg up or hold something over on your wife. You fold the laundry because you love your wife and you want to do it for her and yourself, without any thought of repayment.

My advice giver talked about the Savior and how He is our greatest example. He reminded me Jesus Christ never did anything with any hope of getting something in return. Christ served only to serve. He reminded me we’re here to become like Christ. Folding the laundry or doing the dishes, with zero expectations of getting something back, was our small way of becoming like Christ.

It hit me how dumb I’d been. Here I was doing good stuff like picking up around the house but doing it without good intentions. I was essentially nullifying my “good deed.” I was reminded we don’t serve to get pats on the back, we serve because we love. It reminded of the advice of our bishop, Bishop Nelson, when Beth and I met with him before getting married. He said, “If you always do whatever you can to make the other person happy, you will always have a happy marriage.” I’ve realized how difficult that is in practice, but how rewarding it is to try to live thinking about Beth first.

I realized after this advice that I’d really let some negative feelings set into my heart. Looking back, I think it would have been a short skip and a jump to negative feelings turning into resentment, resentment turning into animosity, and animosity turning into a really unhappy home. I’m extraordinarily grateful to two wise advice givers that helped me be a *slightly better husband early on.

Let me be clear about something. I am far from a perfect or I’d say even a decent husband at this point. While Beth is the epitome of love and kindness, I know my tendency to be stoic and un-affectionate. I am lucky to be married to someone who understands my flaws. I’ve mentioned some of the patience I’ve developed but I’m well aware of Beth’s out of this world patience with me. I know I am not easy to live with and I feel so lucky to have her.

Since I received the advice, I can say my heart has changed. Every once in a while, if I’m vacuuming, I’ll get an inkling of frustration. I have to stop myself and remember. Am I vacuuming so I’m owed something? No. I’m vacuuming because I want to clean up and I love my wife. She does so much around the house and does so much for me. There’s no keeping score. Truth is I’m lucky we don’t keep score, or I’d probably be losing.

The moral of the story I learned is we control how we feel. We can control our thoughts and our emotions- especially frustration. It’s not always easy, but it’s possible. It’s what we’re here to learn. We’re here to learn patience and love. I’m still working on being a more loving husband and look forward to the years where Beth teaches me how to be more loving.

I see a sad trend in our society and the world today. We give up too easy. Love and marriage aren’t easy. If it was easy it wouldn’t be rewarding. We’re in a world that has decided if things are difficult, they’re not worth it. It makes me sad. Committing to marriage should be the most serious commitment of our life. Too many people give up too quickly. It’s sad and I wish it wasn’t that way.

I know that my marriage will end up being the greatest catalyst to my growth in this life. From my marriage I will soon be blessed with a daughter which will also provide vast opportunities to mature in many qualities. I’m grateful for my marriage. I’m grateful that my marriage is for eternity. I can’t imagine vacuuming all these floors and taking out all this trash just to have this marriage end when I die. I’m earning brownie points for eternity 😉. (Just kidding! Were you paying attention? No brownie points!)

I’ll conclude with a great quote. The quote comes from Jenkin Lloyd Jones and has famously been quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley. I share it because I think it’s important to remember, especially when marriage becomes difficult.

“There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . . .

Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

September 10, 2020