These things are all amazing. These are all fruits of the gospel.
But.
Why are they amazing?
After seeing a great vision of eternity, of all the heavens, of the glory, love, and light we will all receive in the next life, after this vision, Joseph Smith and Sydney Rigdon wrote this:
āAnd now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!
For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father.ā (Doctrine and Covenants 76:22)
How I wish I could scream this to the world. Jesus Christ lives! He died for you, for each of us. He died so you need not fear death, trials, or tribulations. You neednāt fear anything. He died for your reassurance. He died for your comfort. He died for your sins. He died for you.
All those things mentioned at the start are amazing, glorious, and wonderful because they point to one thing:Ā Him.Ā Jesus Christ.Ā The Savior of the world.Ā Without Him all of it would be for nothing.Ā Temples, prophets, scripture, what good are they?Ā They are only good for what they point us to.Ā The light and love of this world.Ā Jesus Christ.
I wish the world could see this. I wish the world could see that all these things are just tools pointing to someone far greater.
Ultimately the gospel of Jesus Christ brings comfort.Ā The Plan of Salvation brings peace.Ā The Plan of Happiness makes this life a joy.Ā How could this life be anything less when you know the bigger picture?
I donāt fear trials because I know they help me grow.
I donāt fear tribulations because I know they benefit me for eternity.
I donāt fear death because I know where Iām going if I continue to look to Christ.
I wrote this months ago. Now Iām coming off a situation that has been a trial and tribulation. I believe I can say with a little more confidence today that I donāt fear death.
It can be naĆÆve to say I welcome trials and tribulations when life is wonderful and peaceful.Ā I appreciate that my life is wonderful and peaceful because of the Gospel and the peace it preemptively brings me before trials.Ā Itās easy to say these things when everything is going well. I’m glad I can say them when things are hard as well.Ā
Despite current challenges, I feel so blessed.
Of course, I donāt want tests and trials, but I know when they come, they are for a great purpose.Ā I hope when opportunities come for my faith to be tested it can feel like an open book test.Ā I hope I can face trials in life as if I have the answers, which I believe I do.Ā It’s easy to say until a true tragedy hits my life.Ā I donāt hope for a true tragedy, but I hope for the strength and faith to endure tragedy if it comes.
Coming off the accident I had, I still donāt feel like Iāve gone through a tremendous trial.Ā It has been challenging, but not overly.Ā I donāt feel like it has been that difficult at all.Ā I donāt know how much of that is the fact that the challenge wasnāt actually difficult or due to all the support I have around me, especially the support of God.
These are all the benefits of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish the world had this same peace I have been profoundly blessed to be given.
Beth and I have been married for 15 months. If youāre doing the math, youāre realizing that our first 12 months of marriage included 3 months of quarantine. It seems silly for someone married 15 months to give marriage advice. But Iāll remind you, weāve survived the great pandemic and quarantine period of 2020! Iād like to write some things I learned in the first year of marriage.
First let me comment on the pandemic. While being stuck with someone and quarantined with them for 6 months may be miserable for some, itās made me realize how lucky I am to have a wife I love to be around. Beth and I have joked about how quarantine has been quite a blessing for us. We basically havenāt left each otherās side for 6 months. Itās crazy to think about. Whatās even crazier is I love it. Itās given me a chance to appreciate her, talk with her, and be with her. We went through a stretch when the weather was nice where we were biking almost every day. That was great. As the heat set in, we transitioned into conversations and TV series together. Itās been nice.
It hasnāt been all roses and bliss. While we rarely fight, there are still frustrations. Iāll mention one (and donāt worry, this will be proofread by Beth before I post it).
Early on in our marriage I noticed a frustration setting in. If I cleaned a bathroom, or did laundry, or vacuumed the living room I would find myself resenting her. I would wonder why she didnāt help or do this or that.
I was letting this frustration build when I turned to someone for advice. This wise advice giver presented me with thoughts that completely turned around my way of thinking. He said that when he got married (39 years ago, congrats!) he was given some advice that he took to heart. He said he struggled with something similar early in marriage where he would fold the laundry and then expect his wife to do something in return. Someone explained to him that you donāt fold the laundry to keep a leg up or hold something over on your wife. You fold the laundry because you love your wife and you want to do it for her and yourself, without any thought of repayment.
My advice giver talked about the Savior and how He is our greatest example. He reminded me Jesus Christ never did anything with any hope of getting something in return. Christ served only to serve. He reminded me weāre here to become like Christ. Folding the laundry or doing the dishes, with zero expectations of getting something back, was our small way of becoming like Christ.
It hit me how dumb Iād been. Here I was doing good stuff like picking up around the house but doing it without good intentions. I was essentially nullifying my āgood deed.ā I was reminded we donāt serve to get pats on the back, we serve because we love. It reminded of the advice of our bishop, Bishop Nelson, when Beth and I met with him before getting married. He said, āIf you always do whatever you can to make the other person happy, you will always have a happy marriage.ā Iāve realized how difficult that is in practice, but how rewarding it is to try to live thinking about Beth first.
I realized after this advice that Iād really let some negative feelings set into my heart. Looking back, I think it would have been a short skip and a jump to negative feelings turning into resentment, resentment turning into animosity, and animosity turning into a really unhappy home. Iām extraordinarily grateful to two wise advice givers that helped me be a *slightly better husband early on.
Let me be clear about something. I am far from a perfect or Iād say even a decent husband at this point. While Beth is the epitome of love and kindness, I know my tendency to be stoic and un-affectionate. I am lucky to be married to someone who understands my flaws. Iāve mentioned some of the patience Iāve developed but Iām well aware of Bethās out of this world patience with me. I know I am not easy to live with and I feel so lucky to have her.
Since I received the advice, I can say my heart has changed. Every once in a while, if Iām vacuuming, Iāll get an inkling of frustration. I have to stop myself and remember. Am I vacuuming so Iām owed something? No. Iām vacuuming because I want to clean up and I love my wife. She does so much around the house and does so much for me. Thereās no keeping score. Truth is Iām lucky we donāt keep score, or Iād probably be losing.
The moral of the story I learned is we control how we feel.Ā We can control our thoughts and our emotions- especially frustration.Ā Itās not always easy,Ā but itās possible.Ā Itās what weāre here to learn.Ā Weāre here to learn patience and love.Ā Iām still working on being a more loving husband and look forward to the years where Beth teaches me how to be more loving.Ā
I see a sad trend in our society and the world today. We give up too easy. Love and marriage arenāt easy. If it was easy it wouldnāt be rewarding. Weāre in a world that has decided if things are difficult, theyāre not worth it. It makes me sad. Committing to marriage should be the most serious commitment of our life. Too many people give up too quickly. Itās sad and I wish it wasnāt that way.
I know that my marriage will end up being the greatest catalyst to my growth in this life. From my marriage I will soon be blessed with a daughter which will also provide vast opportunities to mature in many qualities. Iām grateful for my marriage. Iām grateful that my marriage is for eternity. I canāt imagine vacuuming all these floors and taking out all this trash just to have this marriage end when I die. Iām earning brownie points for eternity š. (Just kidding! Were you paying attention? No brownie points!)
Iāll conclude with a great quote. The quote comes from Jenkin Lloyd Jones and has famously been quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley. I share it because I think itās important to remember, especially when marriage becomes difficult.
āThere seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that heās been robbed. The fact is that most putts donāt drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . . .
Life is like an old-time rail journeyādelays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.ā
Hopefully to uplift someone, anyone. Believer, nonbeliever. Member of the Church of Jesus Christ, member of any church, member of no church. Iād like to teach people who know nothing about this faith some of what I believe. Iād like to share with members of my faith the things that have impacted my testimony.
Recently a new motivation has emerged. With a daughter on the way I realize one day she can read all this. Whether or not anyone reads any of this. One day my daughter might.
Right now, Iām posting individual posts that are unrelated to each other. Mostly my thoughts and musings. As I post more, I plan on categorizing posts into certain sections. If someone could come to this page and read a quick one to two-page entry and leave slightly uplifted, thatās my ultimate goal. Most of my writing I hope to be somewhat thought provoking. Just things Iāve thought about or ideas and concepts that have really impacted me and changed the way Iāve looked at life.
I hope for this to be informational. I was greatly impacted by the writing of a man, John Pontius. As I read more, Iām impacted by the writings of many people who took the time to put thoughts on paper. Maybe something I write one day will help someone. I also hope to discuss what I feel makes the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ special. I hope for people not of my faith to read, and maybe have something stirred in their souls. Something that reminds them of where they came from, and maybe have a desire to learn more about Christās Church and what makes it so important.
As I write Iāll share a lot about me. I wanted a section to describe, briefly, who I am and how I got here.
Anybody reading on my page will immediately notice the strong religious theme. Itās what I think about most. For a portion of my life, it was not this way.
About me:
I was born in Payson, Utah in 1990. I moved to St. George, Utah when I was ~5. I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada when I was ~9. I lived in three houses from ages 9 to 18 in Las Vegas. We moved a lot and that was always difficult for me while growing up.
Payson, UtahSt. George, UtahLas Vegas, Nevada
In 2009 I moved to Arizona to go to Arizona State University. I decided early on I didnāt want to go to UNLV (University of Nevada Las Vegas) or UNR (University of Nevada Reno). I wanted to get out of Nevada, I wanted a fresh start. I had no family in Arizona. Las Vegas wasnāt far, but I would be completely on my own.
I still remember when I was driving to Arizona for orientation with my mom. She got sick on the way and we stopped. I think we were in Boulder City, about an hour into the drive. I took her to the emergency room. My dad drove there to be with my mom. I had to be at orientation the next morning. I drove to Arizona by myself. It was the first time Iād driven that kind of distance alone and was symbolic of me becoming independent.
I went to ASU for five semesters. I studied construction management. I always did well in high school with minimal effort. Iām one of those obnoxious individuals who brags about never studying in high school. Boy did I learn my lesson once I got to college. My grades, with zero work ethic and desire, quickly reflected my effort. It didnāt help that I soon realized I wasnāt interested in what I was studying. Construction management can be interesting, but it wasnāt for me. Thereās only so much I could take learning about the strength of concrete.
Like if you get the reference
My junior year I officially dropped out of college with (of course) the intention of going back and finishing once I found my passion. I say āof courseā because thatās what we all say. During school I found that I was much more interested in parties, poker, and basketball than I was in learning about safety standards of construction sites. When I stopped going to school I continued to live on campus and enjoy college life, minus the higher education part. I spent a full year couch surfing. Iām sheepish to admit now, but I look back fondly on that year. It was a year spent staying up until 5am, waking up at 1pm, sneaking into the student rec center to play basketball, getting food, finding a party, rinse/repeat. It may sound like a pathetic use of time but itās something I think I needed to experience.
If my daughter ever reads this ā not everyone needs to experience this. Thatās part of why Iām writing. To show that I made mistakes and lived life a certain way. Ultimately, I canāt regret it because it eventually got me to where I am today. I have learned through my own experiences where true happiness exists. True happiness comes from serving others, giving yourself to something bigger than yourself. True happiness comes from loving others. I had to go a round-about way to learn whatās important in life. Not everyone has to make things as difficult as I made things for myself.
During my time couch surfing, I was working odd jobs here and there to have enough money for food and extra-curricular activities. I went to Utah near the end of this adventure for some āsoul searching.ā After āfinding myself,ā or not finding myself, I ended up back in Arizona working as a helpdesk tech for two companies. I went with one of those companies 3 years later when they switched offices and took over as the Systems Administrator. I now (as of 2020) work for a managed services provider supporting various companies with their technology needs.
As I write this blurb about my journey and my past, many thoughts come to mind of what I learned along the way. I might refer back to this when I need a topic to write about. Like my lack of desire studying something I wasnāt passionate about or the years spent partying and what that taught me about what I want out of life.
Faith-wise, I started falling away from the church, due to my choices, when I was 16. I always had a testimony of this restored church, of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and Jesus Christ. That never changed. Despite my many mistakes and many wrong decisions, I always knew it was true. When I went to ASU I lost contact with the church completely. It amazes me to look back and realize I didnāt even know where the church building/institute building/anything related to the church was on campus. Itās like Iād lost connection with that part of me.
Throughout the years Iād attempt half-heartedly to return to church. It never stuck. I was completely inactive from about 18-25. Seven long years of inactivity.
As of this year, 2020, Iāve been back at church for four years and never been happier. I hope to express through my writing the joy the gospel has brought me and share some of my experiences that can maybe help others. Thatās the hope. Iāve felt drawn to writing these entries so if one person is helped itās a major win.
And if all these hopes fail, Iāll at least be able to look back on everything Iāve written. One day I can show my daughter and she can know I always believed. She can see it wasnāt always easy. She can see life has ups and downs, but it will work out. Have faith. That makes this worth writing.
No Coincidences 