Tag: Heavenly Father

  • Maybe (The Story of the Chinese Farmer)

    Maybe (The Story of the Chinese Farmer)

    “There once was a farmer whose horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. ‘Such bad fortune,’ they said, full of sympathy.

    “‘Maybe,’ the farmer replied.

    “The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. ‘What great fortune!’ The neighbors exclaimed.

    “‘Maybe,’ replied the old man.

    “The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. The son would forever limp. ‘What terrible fortune!’ The neighbors cried.

    “‘Maybe,’ answered the farmer.

    “The next morning the army came through the farmer’s village to draft young able-bodied men for the war. Seeing his son’s limp, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. ‘What wonderful fortune!’ They said.

    “‘Maybe,’ said the farmer.”

    So, it’s hard to know which experiences will turn out to be fortuitous and which will be unfortunate.

    Another story to consider.

    A dog is at the vet. It is there with its wonderful owner. The dog knows his owner loves him very much. The dog’s owner provides food and shelter to him every day. His owner takes him for walks every day and loves him so much. His owner would never do anything to harm him.

    At the vet, the dog is due to get shots.

    The owner knows the importance of these shots. The owner knows the dog needs the shots to keep him healthy. The owner knows the shots are for her dog’s ultimate benefit.

    While the dog is getting shots, all he can think is, “why oh why is my owner letting them do this to me? It hurts so bad! Why is she letting this happen?” The dog looks at his owner and cries and cries. He’s in so much pain. “Why is she standing there ignoring my pain? Why isn’t she doing anything? Doesn’t she love me?”

    The gap between the dog’s understanding and his owner’s understanding is vast. If the owner tried to explain to her dog germ theory and why he needed his shots, he wouldn’t understand any of it.

    The gap between God and us must be infinitely more expansive than the gap between our understanding and that of our pets.

    We don’t know completely why bad things happen to good people. We don’t know why some live while some die.

    The restored gospel of Jesus Christ tells us some key information. This information doesn’t completely answer the question of why bad things happen to good people, but it does add important information.

    We all chose to come here.

    We all knew it would be hard.

    Some knew they would experience unimaginable pain.

    We all chose to come here.

    The good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that no pain, no hardship, no difficulty, no tragedy, is without meaning or purpose. It’s all for one great design: to make us better and stronger. Even as I say that, “to make us better and stronger” those words fall flat. Someone experiencing immense pain doesn’t care that they’ll be stronger in the end. Saying “to make us better and stronger” is akin to telling the dog, it’s going to be ok. Our understanding is limited. That doesn’t take away from the fact that everything that happens here is meant for our ultimate good. Everything here is to help us to reach our full potential.

    Do you think that dog understands those shots will help him live longer? Could we possibly understand if God tried to explain to us the mysteries of the universe and how that unimaginable pain can be for our benefit?

    Does this make unimaginable pain easier to endure? I think it does. I’m not in the throes of pain at the moment, though.

    When I thought I might die, and I thought how desperately I would miss my wife and my one month old daughter, when I thought about how I wouldn’t get to teach her to talk, shoot a basketball, or ride a bike, my heart hurt. But then I knew something amazing. I knew that, even if I had to leave my daughter and my wife, I’d see them again. Life is one eternal round with God and nothing would be lost. I knew that if I had to leave, it was for my ultimate benefit, and the benefit of my family. I had to trust God in that moment. That brought me peace.

    Could the farmer’s son have realized that breaking his leg and being limp for the rest of his life would actually save his life? He couldn’t know it. But someone did.

    When bad things happen, take comfort. Trust Him.

    How do we know what is a blessing and what isn’t? We don’t. Someone does. Trust Him.

  • Attack on Mormons

    Attack on Mormons

    Legend has it my grandfather has a hidden room in his home for the day that followers of Christ are rounded up like Jews were in Europe during World War II. I spent much time trying to find that room without luck. I’m still not convinced it doesn’t exist.

    Beth and I recently finished a TV show called Under the Banner of Heaven. If anyone wants to see every anti-Mormon falsehood spouted in 7 hour+ long episodes, I highly recommend it.

    A story made headlines recently. A highly recruited quarterback from Utah was visiting an Oregon football game. He left the game when the student section started chanting “f- the Mormons.”

    The play “The Book of Mormon.”

    Southpark parodies.

    Imagine another religion being treated this way. Can you picture the outrage if a student section chanted “f- the Jews” for example? I felt wrong just typing that.

    And yet the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not shielded from this. Why is that?

    Under the Banner of Heaven being my most recent exposure to anti-Mormon media, that’s where I’ll focus this post, with my point at the end. Stay with me. Even if you haven’t seen the show (and despite what I said above, I DON’T recommend it) this will still be pertinent.

    An article was written in the Atlantic about the show. That article can be found HERE.

    If you’re interested, you should read the whole article. It’s well written and helped me understand the underlying feelings I had about this show.

    Here are some highlights from that article that I agree with:

    “[It] felt like seeing my religious life in a funhouse mirror, each detail-from the sacred to the mundane-twisted and stretched and distorted to appear frightening and strange.”

    When talking about the absurd use of the phrase “Heavenly Father” in the show, “But I gave up after a few episodes [counting the weird usages of “Heavenly Father], once I realized what was going on. To say that I have never met a Mormon in my life who talks like this would be to miss the point. These lines were not intended as shibboleths for Mormon viewers-they are there to serve a stereotype, to exoticize a people and flatten their faith tradition.”

    “Under the Banner of Heaven is one of the most openly hostile treatments of a minority religious group to appear in popular American entertainment this century. It is also an unqualified hit.”

    I could go on about the flawed and insulting nature of this show.

    Elder Bednar, an apostle for our church, was asked his thoughts on the show. He responded, “We don’t like it, but we don’t spend all of our time responding to it. We have a mission to fulfill.”

    The writer of the Atlantic article stated he initially felt good about Bednar’s response. Then on further thought:

    “But almost immediately, I doubted myself. Wasn’t I just taking the same path of least resistance – above-the-fray politeness, studious nonconfrontation – that Latter-day Saints always seem to take when faced with stuff like this?”

    This is exactly the struggle I deal with. I am in a constant “polite, studious nonconfrontation”-like attitude. It’s how I was raised. I was pretty heated by the end of the final episode. Episodes 1-6 I was just “bluh.” A feeling of, “whatever. They’re making us look weird, the show is weird.” Then that turned into the show is upsetting me. I found myself having an unsettled feeling after each episode that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. Truly, it wasn’t until reading the Atlantic article that full outrage started to settle inside me. How could a show treat my religion like this? Where would it be acceptable to treat any other religion like this? What’s next?

    It was to the point that I didn’t mention to friends I was watching this show because I didn’t want them to watch it. This included close friends that know me and my religion and (I hope) would see through much of the nonsense of the show.

    I hesitated to share because maybe this fear of others seeing my religion as cooky exists inside me. I know what my religion is. It’s precious to me. It’s sacred. It has provided every blessing in my life, I can’t spit upon and laugh at my Church, it’s too important to me.

    So, Bednar’s statement. I like it, in that, it’s how I would respond. Forgive. Turn the other cheek. Don’t get emotional. Don’t get upset. Above all else, don’t let them see you’re upset. But then, at what point do you stop being a cultural punching bag? Is there a point where you stand up for the church and religion that you love? After all, I know this to be Jesus Christ’s Church. Is a show like this really insulting Him? That causes real outrage inside me that I’m willing to speak out about. Spit on me, spit on my faith, spit on my church and my religion. Don’t spit on Him. Maybe that’s ultimately what got me upset. The idea being perpetuated through this show that it was Christ’s church that caused some extremist men to kill a woman and her daughter. I feel for Brenda’s family, her sister, who rightly pointed out that this show unfairly portrays her murder.

    And as the article points out, where is the apology? Where is the script before the show plays saying “Mormons are not an extremist, murdering people. This is a dramatization.”

    In an age where Disney has to apologize before The Lady and the Tramp, Under the Banner of Heaven needs no disclaimer apology for this? Remember that football player at the Oregon game, Oregon apologized for their student section’s behavior.

    As the article points out, we are moving backwards. Rather, we are being pushed backwards. Saints rarely live peacefully in a wicked world.

    What other religion could be ridiculed, spit upon, and disrespected in this way, without public outcry and support, besides the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

    In our forgiveness, we laugh it off and shrug. But a dangerous thing is happening out there. As Satan does in any dispensation where there are Saints to God, he is stirring up the masses against us.

    This leads to my point.

    The attack of this show on a religion seems like a small enough matter. “Who really cares” some might say, as I did, initially. It does matter. The attack on religion, on faith, on Christ is increasing daily. It seems dramatic to even consider the idea that Latter-day Saints could be rounded up like what happened 80 years ago. We can trick ourselves into thinking we’ve gotten better as a world and as society since then.

    Media attack on faith and on Christ are widespread and increasing. It’s not just the Church of Jesus Christ being attacked when shows and plays and TV openly mock it, it’s all followers of Christ and ultimately Christ Himself.

    This attack is going to increase, and we need to be aware of it. I hope that all my friends and especially those who don’t believe in God realize how important this is to be aware of. Believers need the support of nonbelievers in our defense. Otherwise, this world becomes a scary world for those of faith.

    Maybe it’s time for a return trip to my grandparent’s home to search out that hidden room. I hope it’s not.

  • Vulnerable

    Vulnerable

    I listened to a self-love, guided meditation this morning. I was guided to picture myself as a young boy. The prompt was to say comforting words to that young boy. May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. Each of these was followed with the guidance to remember a time I felt those things. “Remember a time you felt safe.”

    As I pictured that young boy in my mind, using old pictures and old family home videos to conjure up what I looked like, a deep emotion came over me. I started to cry.

    As I picture that young boy, and as I picture myself today, I see my father, my dad. What pressures did he feel raising 6 kids, working, going to school, and trying to keep it all together?

    I worry. I fear. I doubt. I pray daily that I can have patience and comfort in God’s plan. I am so blessed. Being blessed doesn’t always make this life easy. This life is challenging. It’s meant to be.

    I don’t think we talk often enough about the pressures of fatherhood. There are now two lives that completely depend on me for everything: Food, water, home, toys. (Of course, Beth is here too and I in no way mean to take away from motherhood).

    I have a family that relies on me to provide. There is a level of pressure that comes along with this that isn’t discussed often enough.

    I love this video:

    It perfectly captures fatherhood.

    I feel happy, safe, healthy, and loved because of what a Father (God) has always provided for me, and for much of my life a father has provided for me.

    I know we should be able to talk about it, the pressures, but dads don’t. We walk around with a burden and a pressure. It sometimes feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Little lives depend on us. We work, trying to provide a life for our children. We come home and we continue to work. We are horses, we are friends, we are disciplinarians, we are a lot.

    If you have a father in your life that seems like he has it all together, if you see a father around you that seems stressed, if you interact with a father that seems angry, if you have a father in your life that seems frustrated, if you see a father that seems like he’s carrying a heavy burden that he can’t share with anyone: he probably is. Hug that man. Fathers need more hugs. Not hugs of pity but hugs of sympathy, hugs of appreciation, hugs of understanding. Understanding that this world is stressful. This life is hard. This life can be scary. And sometimes, as a father, you feel you’re the one battling back those realizations and experiences for your kids for as many moments as you possibly can. That is a difficult task. Because one day your children will learn what you have learned. That life can be hard and scary. You protect them from it as long as you can, but one day they will know.

    As a father, knowing that day will one day come for your little, precious gifts can pull your heart, stretch it in a nearly painful way. And you can realize how your (Heavenly) Father feels, watching us grow in sometimes painful ways.

    I know that fatherhood is important. I know that it’s hard. I know that it’s rewarding.

    I know I have a Father that allows me these experiences so I can grow. I know I have a father here that did so much for me while I grew to my own realization that life is hard. I was sheltered for so long. And I owe that to loving parents here, and there.

    I am grateful to them for that.

  • The Eyes of God

    The Eyes of God

    I don’t think anything makes me feel closer to God than staring into the eyes of my babies. I’ve written about it before HERE. I don’t remember this specifically with Ivy, though I’m sure it happened. But with Sage I’ve stared into her eyes and it’s the most outstanding, humbling feeling.

    What did I do to deserve this gift?

    As I hold Sage and she begins to drift off into sleep, while comfortably in my arms, I wonder what I did to deserve so much trust. She is so comfortable in my arms, so content, so peaceful, so trusting. Why does she trust me? What did I do to earn that trust?

    Nothing.

    Or maybe everything.

    I don’t know how Sage, Ivy, and I interacted before coming here. Before coming to earth were we best friends, running around, shooting hoops, reading books, taking walks? Maybe I did earn that trust.

    What did I do to earn the trust of God, to send His daughters to me?

    As I stare into Sage’s eyes, I see the eyes of God.

    She is His daughter. She is of His lineage. She is a princess, not of me, but of Him. And as I stare into her eyes, I think that’s the overwhelming, outstanding, humbling feeling I get, that I described above. It’s looking into the eyes of God.

  • The Need for God in the Newborn Days

    The Need for God in the Newborn Days

    Having a newborn is pretty difficult. Understatement? The challenges are diverse and wide-ranging. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.

    As Beth and I were driving to the hospital for her to bring a baby into the world – we prayed.

    As we waited to get checked into the hospital – I prayed.

    As we sat in our first room and Beth’s pain started to increase – I prayed harder.

    As we were moved into the delivery room and the miracle began – I prayed constantly.

    As I held my new daughter – I prayed, holding back tears of gratitude.

    As we took the new member of our family to our hospital room – I prayed.

    As we struggled to stay awake and care for her new needs – I prayed.

    As we drove home – I prayed.

    As we started the first weeks of no sleep, stress, anxiety, and responsibility. As we tried to feed Sage, as we changed her multiple times throughout the night, as we walked around bleary eyed, as she slept on my chest, as she cried in my arms – I pray constantly for help and strength.

    As Beth becomes a zombie from lack of sleep – I pray.

    As I fall asleep holding Sage – I pray.

    As Ivy adjusts to a new sister, the responsibility, and the change to her little world – I pray for her.

    As Beth works to breastfeed every 3 hours and continues not to sleep – I pray for her.

    As I go back to work, Beth having extreme trepidation – I pray, and I assure her it will be ok.

    We’re being looked after.

    As Beth texts me, “You must have said a good prayer for us for today. I can’t believe I feel as good as I do right now.” – I pray with so much gratitude.

    I know we’re being looked after.

    Having and bringing home a newborn is stressful and a momentous responsibility. I don’t think that is a coincidence. I think it’s meant to remind us how much we need Him. I’m grateful for how difficult it is to bring a new baby home because it brings me closer to my Heavenly Father. I have to rely on Him, because I know my strength is nothing, and I know I can’t do it without Him.

    I’m grateful for these challenges because they remind me how much I need Him.

    I’m grateful to know He is there.

    I’m grateful to know we are watched over.