No Coincidences

Tag: joseph smith

Drugs

*Author’s note: I asked Beth to proofread this before sharing. I put off posting it for weeks because of my hesitation in sharing something like this about my past. Beth’s response, “Why wouldn’t you share it? It’s what got you here.”

“Cocaine takes your soul.” A statement I heard a while back on a podcast.

I’ve long wanted to write a “drugs” post, but I haven’t known how to approach it. It was a big step for me to start sharing publicly about how I used to drink. Now I use my past experiences with drinking to understand the struggles others can have because I’ve been there. It makes me really uncomfortable to share something like, “I used to do drugs.” Vulnerability, uncertainty at how people I love will take this information, Ivy reading this one day… Admitting something like that was never something I thought I’d do. But Beth’s comment was right. Those choices led to where I am today, so why not share it? If I’ve truly changed, why do those past decisions matter that much? If I truly believe Christ has washed away my sins through His Atonement, what am I hiding? Maybe somebody can benefit from my experience.

So, before I continue, let’s get this part out of the way: All my LDS friends and family take your moment to *gasp. All my college friends and family take your laugh (that some of my friends and family never knew this about me).

I bounced back and forth with writing a generic, boring post about how drugs are bad. Really, we’ve heard that before. What can really make a difference, I think, is my personal experience with drugs. In the Church (of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), along with other churches, I think talking about past drinking or drug use is pretty taboo. It’s like many other topics I want to write about and haven’t yet addressed. Where I come from, how I was raised, I kind of adhere to the ‘pretend like it doesn’t exist’ camp. Drugs? How about we not discuss it.

But then recently my 13-year-old brother mentioned a kid coming to his soccer practice clearly high. First thought, “My youngest brother is exposed to weed already????” Then I realized, he’s 13, of course he’s exposed to it. I know a lot of kids that started experimenting with drugs at 13. It’s crazy to think my youngest brother is 13. It’s crazier more to realize it when he talks about the drug use around him. Drug use is happening. In the world we live in today, it’s more prevalent than ever. If we stick our head in the ground, refuse to talk to our kids about it, and pretend like it’s not happening, someone else is talking to them about it. News flash parents: Your most sheltered latter-day saint babies have seen, heard of, been around, and maybe even experienced drug use.

If I was seeing it in 2003 (I’m old), you better believe 13-year-olds are seeing it in 2021. Recently I drove down a street in Las Vegas near my old home. A street I’d driven down many times. I did a double take when I passed what I can only describe as a big, bright, pot emporium. Drugs are becoming mainstream. A scary thought.

So what are my experiences with drugs?

First let me say, I was lucky that drugs never quite became like alcohol for me. I don’t think drugs ever controlled me the way alcohol did. I think part of that is luck in never trying the wrong substance. There was a time when I was on a precarious cliff, one wrong step could have led to debilitating and life destroying addiction.

I’m going to try my best to be as ambiguous as possible about my drug use for obvious reasons. By that I mean, I’m not going to tell you what drugs I have done (it’s not many). But sometimes I may be clear about drugs I haven’t done. For example, I never tried cocaine. I had to say that since you’ve probably been wondering that since you read the first line.

What’s my experience?

From a very young age I was aggressively opposed to any substance I believed was bad. Legend has it I used to pour out my mom’s Coca Cola’s. Growing up I always said I would never drink alcohol. When asked I would say it was due to my faith and the Word of Wisdom. The Word of Wisdom, for those who don’t know, is guidance provided by the Lord to Joseph Smith in 1833 about what should and should not be put into the body. Over the years the Word of Wisdom, as followed by many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has adapted and changed. This is a natural occurrence. Joseph Smith wasn’t yet warned about vape pens and methamphetamines in the 1830s. I encourage everyone who wants to learn more to read Doctrine and Covenants Section 89.

My excuse for not drinking or partaking in drugs was always the Word of Wisdom. Like I said, from a very young age I remember taking that guidance very seriously. As I grew up, and my church activity waned, that excuse changed to, “I’m an athlete.” In high school “no thanks” seldomly worked. You needed a reason. Similar to Happy Hours across the country today, most of the time you can’t just say no.

So what happened when I had neither? What happened when my church activity was zero and I was no longer an athlete after high school? It’s amazing how soon after losing those two identities that I waivered on this principle I had stuck so firmly to.

I still remember my first sip of alcohol. It was a big moment. We laugh at the joke that meth addiction starts with one puff or one sip, but doesn’t it? Of course, there are exceptions, but would someone who has never had a sip of alcohol try a harder, more dangerous substance? Usually not.

What happened after I’d taken one sip? Well, my excuses of church and basketball were no longer existent, I no longer had my shield against peer pressure. It’s no wonder when I went off to college for the first time I started drinking, then trying other stuff.

I was never a big drug user, as previously stated. Most of what I tried wouldn’t even be considered drugs by most people today. That’s the problem though, isn’t it? Drugs are drugs. Marijuana is a drug. It is habit forming, it changes your focus, it changes what you care about, and ultimately it changes you.

I had some extremely, extremely scary experiences with drugs. The last time for a particular substance I said would be the last time I’d try anything. Being stuck in your mind is a terrifying thing, there is no escape. These substances are mind-altering. Sometimes they’re mind entrapping.

This is the point I want to get across and I think is important. It’s the point I make to anyone who asks about certain drugs or drug use. You almost never know what you’re putting into your body and it’s often from a sketchy source. What happens when you can’t escape your mind and you think something will never end? I had a friend once tell me he considered killing himself one time during a particularly bad drug experience. My thought was, “why would you put that in your body????” Then, years later I had that something in my body. If it wasn’t for very trusted and caring friends being around me to calm me down, who knows what could have happened. Never before in my life had jumping off a balcony crossed my mind. It did that day. Drugs are not a joke. This is the message, more than anything I’d like to get across.

I consider myself lucky that I avoided most of the more dangerous and addictive substances out there. I never touched a cigarette. I was too afraid it would become a habit. That fear kept me from putting myself in a dangerous position with many other drugs. I was always afraid of man-made, synthetic substances. I was raised to believe that man was conspiring against my freedom (D&C 89:4) and I believe that might have saved my life.

How am I with drugs today?

When I had my accident, they tried to prescribe me some sort of Oxy something or another pain medication. I refused. I got over the counter Advil and avoided taking that as much as I could. I saw too many friends almost kill themselves over those pills. I hope I can avoid ever touching one.

Today I’ve cut out drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and juice. Yes, juice. I feel happier and healthier for it. I see coworkers come into the office and walk like zombies to the coffee machine first thing in the morning. I’ve never had that crutch and I never will.

People talk about the Word of Wisdom like it takes away your freedom. My experience tells me that drugs and alcohol, and yes, even caffeine take away our freedom, not expand it. How many people can’t start their day without coffee? How many people can’t start their weekend without liquor? How many people are enslaved by substance abuse?

I am so grateful for my upbringing and the protection I had against these dangerous substances in my life. Even when I dabbled, I escaped the direst consequences. I was lucky. Why chance it? I’m happier today than I’ve ever been now that I depend on no substance for that happiness. The Word of Wisdom is a protection and despite my slip-ups through my growth, it did protect me, and I’m grateful for it.

November 18, 2021
100th Post
100 posts! I thought it warranted a special post. You never know when you start something like a blog if you’ll actually stick to it. Here I am a year and a half and 100 posts later, with hundreds still to go.

I figured as part of my first 100 posts I could mention the top 5 most read:
It’s interesting what this list shows. Life and death.

It was scary starting a blog. It’s basically a public diary. I’m excited for Ivy to read it one day. Thank you to everyone who has read and supported. The primary motivation in writing and sharing these posts has always been to share my faith story and hopefully help others in some tiny way. If my story or my thoughts have helped one person think about life or come closer to Jesus Christ, then a million hours (close to how much time I’ve put into this) is worth it.

I re-read my first post to prepare for writing this. In reading that, I was kind of surprised by how open and vulnerable I made that. It inspired me to share another more personal post.

As I read that very first post I was reminded why I decided to write this. I had my own very unique journey back to God and I hoped it could help someone, whether that be back to God or to God for the first time. During those years where I removed God completely from my life, I feared every day I was away from Him that I’d never be able to return. I know there are so many people out there that feel the same way. There are also people that have never known God, prayer, repentance, all these things some of us take for granted. These are abstract concepts to many, I know.

I want to share that I believe God is for everyone. As the world screams at us, “You have your screens, your technology, your books, universities, learning, society with its conveyer belt of packaged food, water always, peace, prosperity. Watch Netflix! Relax! All is well (2 Nephi 28:21). Set aside thoughts of life, death, and purpose. You have your purpose, live and let live.” The world is telling us that despite the chaos around us, everything is fine, and we don’t need God. I testify that all is well IF we have God.

I want to tell everyone, there is more than what the world screams at us is important. There is much, much more. I want to tell everyone who will listen, God is for you. If you’ve ever known Him, if you’ve never known Him, if you consider Him a complete foreign concept, if you consider Him a myth, He is for you and He is there for you. You can come to Him, and when you do, your life changes.

That’s what sticks with me most when I think about those years away from God. I removed Him, but He was never gone. We can’t remove our Father. This makes us accountable; it can be a frightening concept if we fear Him. We don’t need to fear Him. He is only there out of love. He will never leave us.

I bear my testimony of the most important things: God is our Father, and He does love us. Jesus Christ did something unimaginable. Would you die for your child? Would you suffer the punishment for the sins of your child? Probably. Would you die for the person torturing you? Christ did. He suffered for all of us, really suffered and felt. I have been blessed to have the Holy Ghost be a part of my life when I’ve made good choices, since it was conferred upon me when I was 9 years old. Joseph Smith did see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. He translated the Book of Mormon from ancient records. The temples that are now dotting the earth are God’s temples. The temples are clean and holy. I can be with my family forever because of what Christ did for me in Gethsemane and on the cross.

I know this to be true. This knowledge brings purpose and understanding to my life. It doesn’t make trials go away but it makes them understandable.

I wish everyone would consider the great plan of salvation, The Plan of Happiness. But we are distracted.

I have been so blessed by God and I ask Him constantly what I’ve done to be afforded so much. The least I can do is share it with others, and I am glad to do so.

I leave this testimony for my daughter, and my family, and all those I care about to read- forever. I leave it in the name of my Redeemer, my Savior, my King, Jesus Christ.

Amen.
October 21, 2021
The Redemption of the Jews

How will God convince the Jews that Jesus is the Redeemer, the Messiah, the Son of God?

Is the Jewish nation to wait for Christ to return in His glory for them to realize the truth? Will God’s chosen people be left to learn of Christ’s divinity at the same moment that the rest of the world does, when Christ returns?

Will the Jewish nation learn of the divinity of Jesus Christ when they see Him come down in glory, and behold the prints in His hands and feet?

Has God provided a tool for the redemption of His people? A second witness?

I don’t think God would leave only one witness of such an important thing. Especially when it concerns not only all His children, but His chosen people.

So, what is that tool? What is the second witness?

Obviously, it is the Book of Mormon.

Another testament of Jesus Christ.

I had this realization recently and wanted to share. It’s easy to take for granted what the Book of Mormon is. Another testament of Jesus Christ. Another book of scripture. Another witness. More proof that Jesus was and is the Christ. Jesus is the Savior. Jesus is where our redemption lies.

What a blessing to live in a time where we have further evidence. What a blessing that we have additional scripture. I look forward, as the dispensation of the fullness of times continues to expand, for more scripture to be revealed. I look forward to receiving more of God’s word. Will the world reject future scripture just as they’ve rejected the Book of Mormon? Surely God isn’t done with us. Surely, He still speaks to us.

I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon.

June 24, 2021
Godhead – My Understanding
Two posts ago I discussed the doctrine of the Trinity and my opposition to it.

This will be a much gentler post, detailing how I personally come to the belief and understanding of the Godhead as true doctrine.

First, an explanation I didn’t give last time. Definitions:
1. Trinity or Trinitarian belief: God is one God, but three coeternal and consubstantial persons; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The three persons are distinct, yet are one “substance, essence or nature” (homoousios). In this context, a “nature” is what one is, whereas a “person is who one is. (From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity). (Also, huh?).
2. Godhead: God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost form a group known as the Godhead. Each member is a different, individual being, yet all three are united in thought, desire, knowledge, power, and purpose. (From https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2019-08-0080-godhead?lang=eng). (Also, visit that link to watch a 7-minute video to learn more).
How can I say “I know” the Godhead to be true?

The Godhead is one of the unique beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

A majority of Christianity believes in the Trinity.

In this post, I won’t go into detail on the doctrine, differences, importance, history, etc. of the distinctions between Trinitarian and Godhead belief. That I’ll likely save for another day. In this post I simply want to explain how I have come to know for myself that the Godhead is true and correct doctrine.

The short answer to how I can know the Godhead to be true is:

Through study, prayer, and upbringing.

My understanding of this principle and the knowledge I have of it can be broken down very simply. It’s a similar breakdown that explains much of my testimony in the restored gospel.

In reading the Book of Mormon, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is the word of God. I know that it was translated through the power of God.

If the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet.

Joseph Smith told us he saw God the Father, and Jesus Christ on His right hand.

Joseph Smith History 1:17:

It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other-This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him!

Joseph Smith never wavered on this fact.

This could be where it ends, but I’ll add some notes on upbringing and study.

Upbringing – obviously, I must mention that my upbringing played a role in my believing this to be true. I was raised to believe in the Godhead; therefore, it is much easier for me to accept as truth. That said, it was up to me to ask questions, read the book for myself, study Joseph Smith’s history and understand the principle for me to come to the knowledge. Because I was raised to believe it to be true didn’t make it true. Which leads to the next point.

Study – As I said, through study and research I have determined the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. It is an inspired book.

Prayer – My testimony of the Book of Mormon, mentioned in study, not only comes from logical, mind-centered study, but from personal revelation. I’ve felt the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve prayed to know the Book of Mormon is true. I’ve received my answer, through prayer, that the Book of Mormon is true. Prayer is an irreplaceable ingredient.

The principle of the Godhead has been distorted, attacked, and misunderstood for centuries. One of the first attacks Satan always makes is on the nature of God. If Satan can confuse us on who God is, he can confuse us on who we are. We are children of the Almighty God.

I am grateful for modern revelation and prophets that make simple and powerful truths known. I am grateful to know that while God is magnificent and powerful, He is not un-knowable. The understanding of God as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as my brother, who gave His life for me, strengthens my faith and helps me put my trust in them.

This truth is eternal, and this truth is important.
June 3, 2021
The Trinity

I’m not going to cite a bunch of scriptures supporting my point. In my experience that does nothing because individual scriptures can be interpreted in a million different ways. Any scripture I give that seems clear as day to me to show God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three distinct personages is quickly explained away and followed up with another scripture that someone believes shows they are one being.

Instead of trying to convince anyone of this doctrine, I more want to give my thoughts on it. I also want to briefly discuss the importance of this doctrine and why I believe it has been so adamantly fought over throughout the centuries.

First, the “they are one” controversy with the many scriptural references is so easy for me to understand. They are one in intent and purpose, so they are one. Christ, when praying to His Father said, “let them be one, Father, as you and I are one.” (John 17:21-23) Why would Christ say this? Given the doctrine of the trinity, was Christ praying that his apostles would morph together into one super spiritual being? No, it doesn’t make sense. What Christ was praying for was literal. “Let them be one, as you and I are one” – in intent, purpose.

Second, what sense does a unified being make? I know we are human, and we don’t understand much of anything about the true nature of Heaven, of eternity, of what is next. I have faith in a lot, but I understand little. Maybe the next life is filled with multiple personality Gods and beings that I’m meant to worship. Maybe God can split into three personages. Maybe He did this to make us understand some deep, important principle. Maybe? Or maybe every person who counseled over this principle (the famous Nicene Creed) and ultimately came to a decision we follow hundreds of years later didn’t understand. God isn’t setting out to confuse us. He doesn’t want us to NOT comprehend Him. He wants us to know how much He loves us. He wants us to know He SENT His only begotten son, who also loves us. He wants us to know the Holy Spirit can be a constant companion to us. He doesn’t want to confuse us. He isn’t throwing out stumbling blocks all along the way to make things more difficult. This life isn’t intended to be a maze of confusion that we may be lucky to determine what God wants us to know. He wants us to seek Him and to seek truth. He WANTS us to understand. God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are three separate, distinct beings. I don’t know this (yet), but I have faith and hope that it’s true.

Joseph Smith saw them. That’s why that moment was so significant. They didn’t speak to Him from the clouds. They appeared in their bodies. To show him, “you are like us, and we are like you.” They have bodies of flesh and blood. Christ really came here, His Father’s Son, to attain a body and die for us. That principle is pure and beautiful.

Have you ever wondered why Christ ate fish and bread with the apostles after his resurrection? Why was that account included in the scriptures? The scriptures are full of important information, obviously. Why was this seemingly unimportant detail included? Not because Christ was trying to make His apostles comfortable. It was included because it was important. Christ was showing that He had a body. Just as we, when we are resurrected, will be resurrected with our bodies.

This brings me to the third point, exactly why this doctrine was fought so hard against for all of history. Satan is cunning. Satan knows what is and isn’t important to our salvation. With the fervor and aggression Satan has fought this doctrine with, it seems obvious to me how important it is. This doctrine is so important because the corruption of it distances us from our Heavenly Father. That is Satan’s great purpose. What greater way to distance us from our Father than corrupting His image into some unknowable, un-understandable, un-comprehendible being? It is the opposite of what God is. He knows us, He understands us, He comprehends us, and he wants us to understand Him. This bizarre trinity He’s been morphed into makes it so hard to communicate with Him. How do you communicate a triple being you can’t imagine? Not the same, personal way you can communicate with your own father. Not the way your loving Heavenly Father wants you to communicate with Him. A father that sent His only begotten Son to save the rest of His spirit children.

I wish I could be more eloquent on this topic. Of all topics I wish I had a poet’s or philosopher’s eloquence for, this is it. Because it’s important. But I’m not a poet or a philosopher. My words fall short of what I want to portray. I wish so much that everyone could know Heavenly Father the way I feel and know Him. He and Christ are so important to me. Combining them in one takes away one of the most important persons in my life.

This truth is eternal, and this truth is important.

To learn more about the truth of the Godhead, visit here:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/article/do-members-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-believe-in-the-trinity

May 21, 2021