No Coincidences

Tag: judgement

  • Repentance

    Repentance

    3 Nephi 11:32 reads: 

    “And this is my doctrine, and it is the doctrine which the Father hath given unto me; and I bear record of the Father, and the Father beareth record of me, and the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men everywhere to repent and believe in me.” 

    3 Nephi 11:37-38 reads:

    “And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things. 

    And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” 

    These were some of the first recorded words Jesus Christ spoke to His other flock in the Americas (John 10:16).

    Hugh Nibley says, 

    “Who is righteous in the Book of Mormon? There’s a very simple definition of righteousness in the Book of Mormon, as in the book of Ezekiel. One is righteous because he is repentant, and a person who is not repenting is a person who is not righteous. That’s all there is to it, because we’re all wicked and we all need to repent all the time. “Say nothing but repentance to this generation” (D&C 6:9). The first word of the Lord to the Nephites was, “This is my doctrine…and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men, everywhere to repent…” (3 Nephi 11:32). You have to do that. And as Ezekiel tells us, if a person has been righteous all his life but he’s not repenting any more, he’s wicked (see Ezekiel 18:20-32). Of course, he may have been wicked all of his life, and if he’s repenting now, he’s righteous. It makes no difference. So, always repent, always keep repenting. “But behold, all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people shall dwell safely in the Holy One of Israel if it so be that they will repent” (1 Nephi 22:28).

    I’ve thought a lot about that Hugh Nibley quote since I read it. 

    Can it be that simple? Is it that black and white? 

    Good person = someone repenting 

    Bad person = someone not repenting 

    Does this mean deathbed confessions are adequate? Does this mean if you confess your sins and repent the day before you die that you are righteous? 

    Yes and no. 

    I believe Hugh Nibley’s point is powerful. Repentance=righteousness. Unrepentance=unrighteousness.  

    There’s another part of this equation. Repentance=change. 

    I think back on the eight years I was inactive from church. One of the most distinct aspects of that time period was not praying. I never prayed. Praying made me feel guilty. Since I was not praying, naturally I was also not repenting. At the time I couldn’t repent. Not only due to the fact that I wasn’t praying, but also because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to stop doing the things I was doing. I couldn’t repent and then go continue to do what I was doing. I hope I’ve never taken for granted the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know I do. But I try so hard not to. 

    As I’ve been back at church these last 10 years, I haven’t missed a day of repentance. I repent at least once and sometimes two or three or four times a day. My nightly prayers have a consistent feature, no matter what – asking for forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made. I often try to think back through my day and think of the mistakes I made and the things I could have done better. 

    Repentance causes change. If I repented during the years of my inappropriate behavior, it would have been insincere, or it would have led to change. I wouldn’t have been trying to change. My repentance started when I was ready to change. That isn’t to say I should have waited as long as I did. But I do believe Heavenly Father has an unimaginable amount of patience with us. I think we’ll one day marvel at how much love and patience He possesses.  

    Repentance has a negative connotation. It shouldn’t. Repentance makes us better. As Ivy put it one day when I asked her, “Why do we want to be like Jesus?” 

    “Because He is nice.” Repentance makes us nicer. Repentance makes us better. It isn’t a negative thing at all.  

    Are there nice people that don’t “repent.” Of course. But repentance is bigger than that. It’s a humility. It’s recognizing our faults. It’s recognizing we have nothing without all that God has given us. It is a desire to change and be even better than we were the day before. 

    So are deathbed confessions valid? That’s not for me to decide. I know repentance results in change. Ultimately God will decide. It’s not for us to judge. And that’s the most important point to make. When someone shows up to church for the first time, someone who has made a million mistakes and a million bad life choices; when that person shows up to church, you love them. You love and accept and forgive. Leave the rest for God to decide. A person coming to church and trying to change should be shown as much love as a church congregation can muster.

    The miracle of the Atonement is that it is eternal – backwards and forwards. Forever. Christ is always there waiting for us when we’re ready. When we’re ready to start repenting, then we are ready to start changing, and then we can start to be ready to go see Him again. Hopefully, through so much repentance, we can become like Him. That’s the ultimate goal.  

  • Holier Than Thou

    Holier Than Thou

    *I wrote the below in 2022. I don’t remember what made me write the below. I don’t know what I was so frustrated about. That frustration comes out in what I wrote. I hopen no one ever thinks I think I’m better than anyone because I go to church. That might be one of the hardest things about coming back to church. Everyone thinks you’re different. And you are, I guess. I guess that’s part of change.

    How do you make life changes without making others feel like you now think you’re better than them?

    How do you give advice to others if they think you’re just criticizing them?

    How do you be religious without making others feel judged? 

    How do you share church, and religion, and life changes without sounding like you think you’re right because you’ve found the right way, when you do think you’re right because you do think you’ve found a better way?

    Have I come across this way?

    I guess the answer is mostly – you can’t control what people think. You can only control yourself.

    If someone feels judged because you’ve changed, and you’re happy about your changes, and you want to share it, how do you stop that? I don’t think you can. 

    The former alcoholic that is proud to share their 1-year chip and how healthy they are compared to 366 days ago – to the current alcoholic that person can seem self-righteous. 

    The person who now goes to church every week and invites friends comes across as holier than thou aka obnoxious because they’ve found God again. But everyone remembers the monster they used to be, and maybe, because of that past remembrance, can’t take them seriously. 

    I’ve found that giving advice to others can often be a lose-lose. 

    Either  

    1. They say, “You never did xyz so you don’t understand.”

    Or 

    1. They say, “Well you did it, who are you to talk?” 

    I recently gave such advice and fell into category 2. Advice lovingly given. How do you express that it’s lovingly given? 

    I always think if you do something with love in your heart, your intentions will be understood. That’s not real life. The purest intentions from others to give me advice when I didn’t want to hear it was never received well by me.

    I guess that’s the nature and problem of life.

    How do you live religiously in a non-religious world?

    Is this a self-righteous post? I don’t know.

    It might be the closest to a rant that I’ve ever given in writing.

    Oh I how I look forward to having kids who think I’ve never lived life and that I know nothing about what they’re going through. I’m sorry, parents, for always thinking that. Now I get it. And I know I’ll get it more when I have teenagers. 

  • San Junipero

    San Junipero

    I really enjoy the show Black Mirror on Netflix.

    For those who don’t know the show, each season includes independent episodes that usually (but not always) have a futuristic, technological theme.

    One of my favorite episodes is called San Junipero.

    I don’t love this episode for its ending. I love it for how it makes me think. Funny enough, I watched the episode a second time, 7 years after the first viewing. Usually when something really makes me think, I pull out my phone and start writing down my thoughts.

    In 2025 when I rewatched San Junipero, I pulled out my phone to take notes. I found notes I took 7 years prior. I didn’t remember taking those notes. But they fit exactly what I thought 7 years later watching the episode a second time. Good to see I’m consistent. Typing those thoughts out led to this blog post.

    In the show, San Junipero is a virtual reality where people can upload their consciousness to live and experience life much like in the real world. In San Junipero, people can eat, drink, laugh, dance, and do seemingly all of the things that you can do in real life.  

    The main character is named Yorki. Yorki meets a character named Kelly (I hope it goes without saying that there are about to be spoilers for the episode).

    Yorki and Kelly start a romance in San Junipero. In San Junipero, everyone is young and vibrant. We learn that in the real world Yorki is an old woman who was paralyzed at the age of 20 and has spent her entire life in a coma-like state. Kelly is an old woman who was given 3 months to live 6 months ago.

    We learn that Kelly was married for many years to a man named Richard. Kelly and Richard… well, I’ll let Kelly tell the story.

    The episode comes to a climax when Yorki is trying to convince Kelly to stay with her in San Junipero.

    This leads to one of the most powerful monologues I’ve ever seen on television. In exasperation and frustration at Yorki’s request, Kelly exploded (you can watch the exact clip on YouTube HERE):

    “49 years. I was with him for 49 years. You can’t begin to imagine. You can’t know. The bond, the commitment, the boredom, the yearning, the laughter, the love of it. The *expletive love. You just cannot know. Everything we sacrificed. The years I gave him. The years he gave me. Did you think to ask? Did it occur to you to ask?

    “We had a daughter, Allison. Always difficult, always beautiful. Died at 39 years old, bless her heart. And Richard and I, we felt that heartbreak as one.

    “You know when he was dying, Rich said to me, when they offered him this, to pass over, pass through, spend eternity in this *expletive graveyard you’re so in love with, he said, ‘How can I? When she missed out, how can I?’ And so he went. And I wish I could believe he’s with her now, that they’re together, but I don’t. I believe they’re nowhere. Just like you said. Gone…

    “And now you give me some sales pitch about how *expletive peachy forever could be. You want to spend forever somewhere nothing matters? End up like Wes. All those lost *expletives at the Quagmire trying anything to feel something, go ahead. But I’m out. I’m gone.”

    The episode goes on. You see a coffin being lowered into a grave next to Richard’s tombstone. You think that’s the end.

    Black Mirror is known for its twists. I love it for its twists. I hated this twist.

    Kelly is back in San Junipero with Yorki. She decided not to “pass on.” She stayed in San Junipero. The show plays background music of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven is a Place on Earth.

    While this may seem like a happy ending, the broader implications broke my heart.

    Obviously, I’m going to take this from a perspective of faith.

    There’s a lot to unpack here and a lot to consider. It’s why, despite my dislike for the ending, it’ s still one of my favorite episodes.

    Kelly could have “moved on” and spent an eternity with her husband and daughter. Instead she decided to stay in an artificial world.

    What is the lesson here?

    Her husband Rich had a particle of faith. Just a mustard seed of faith, you might say. Kelly couldn’t exhibit even that. She said herself, “I wish I could believe he’s with her now.” Wish. She Wishes. She hopes, probably. But she couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t even give real honest effort. She could only wish and hope but she couldn’t believe. According to Kelly Richard didn’t believe, but clearly he tried to. From a faithful perspective, what did Richard get? An eternity with his beloved daughter. What did Kelly get? An eternity in a fake and counterfeit world.

    Kelly took the guarantee in front of her. She took what she knew. She chose earth. She chose an existence of “trying to feel alive” over eternal life.

    Kelly’s monologue makes mention of a place called the Quagmire. The definition of quagmire is: “a soft boggy area of land that gives way underfoot.” A land that gives way underfoot = unsteady, uncertain, unsure. A sandy foundation.

    The Quagmire was a disgusting, sad, pathetic place where people in San Junipero went to party. It was all grotesque acts, cage fighting, drugs – all the worst of the world. Why did so many people in San Junipero go to the Quagmire? A hell-hole of debauchery? Kelly in her monologue pointed out the reason the living souls of the dead in San Junipero went there. Why would they go to somewhere so horrible? Just to try to feel alive.

    This is another eternal point to consider. The Quagmire clearly represented hell. Hell is a lack of progression. Hell is a lack of purpose.

    What is life without purpose? What is your purpose?

    Kelly chose a fake world. Will her life there be happy? Maybe. It might even be amazing, from an earthly perspective.

    We know that people really will make this choice. When some die, they can’t enjoy an otherworldly experience because they are too attached to this world. It’s the reason Jesus said to leave all earthly things behind and seek after eternal things. There is so much in store for us if we can just seek it out. Some will choose this world and this life because they can’t garner the faith to hope for something so much more.

    For those that want a greater blessing, there will be an eternity of love and joy, and things we can’t even begin to wrap our minds around – amazing, spectacular, fantastic things. But if we get too stuck in this world, we’ll miss the opportunity for that so much more.

    The fictional Richard hoped for so much more. He wished for so much more. He believed it just enough that he received it. A blessed existence for eternity with his daughter.

    I so wished the show would have taken an “eternal perspective” for once. But alas, it is a show of the world.

  • Will Hitler be Forgiven?

    Will Hitler be Forgiven?

    Before I share this, I will state the obvious. Hitler the man did heinous, horrible acts. He caused as much pain and heartache as any soul ever has on this earth. In writing this silly thought experiment I in no way intend to make light of the horrible choices of others. I believe I will have a hard time forgiving some of the acts I see during life reviews at the great judgment. Forgiveness, thankfully, won’t be for me to decide. I don’t know who will be forgiven for what. I know some will need to ask for forgiveness and likely won’t. I know some will receive forgiveness that we can’t comprehend. I trust in God. Now onto my silly post. Please don’t take the main character too seriously.

    I had a thought while I was in the shower, and it stemmed from this question – will Hitler be forgiven? The mere mention of the idea is enough to get me canceled. 

    The beauty of the plan of salvation and something only the Church of Jesus Christ proposes an answer to, is that God will save all His children and how that could be accomplished.

    The thought I had in answer to this question was – maybe Hitler will be forgiven, only God knows. If someone like Hitler could be forgiven, what change would need to take place in a soul like that for that to happen?

    We see momentous changes in mortality. We can see transformations over small courses of time. Think of someone you’ve seen change over the course of 5, 10, or 50 years. A lot of changes can happen to a spirit over the course of 50 years. Now imagine 1000, 5000, and 10,000 years. How about 3 billion years? Those numbers are hard to imagine. What amount of change could happen in a millennium? A lot, I imagine.

    On the other hand, that amount of time can also show the great weaknesses of a character. A lot of change can happen in a billion years and if there are any flaws in character, cracks become gulfs. Eternity is a long time so luckily we have a long time to change. But if we aren’t working toward perfection, our flaws will grow.

    I have read comments in near-death experiences about the malleability of the soul during mortality compared to after death. I’ve read analogies that compare the soul while here on earth to wet cement while the soul post-death being like settled cement. I believe that’s what makes mortality so critical. Our lack of knowledge and need for faith one way or the other, in a way I don’t understand, allows us to change in ways not possible once this life is over.

    The beauty of the plan of salvation is that God will save all His children that want to be saved. That’s the critical part. The desire to be saved. That’s also something becoming increasingly scarce in our society, the ability to forgive.

    Christ and God will know and understand all, and they will be forgiving beyond all measure.

    Which leads to the question, if we’re going to use Hitler as our abstract understanding of evil: will Hitler want to be saved? Will Hitler want to stand before God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, the one who had to suffer for Hitler’s sins, who had to suffer for all the pain Hitler caused? Will Hitler want to stand before Jesus Christ? Will he have the humility to seek that forgiveness? If the evils of Satan touched his heart and soul as deeply as they seemed to – desire for power, hate, etc., will Hitler want to stand before them?

    Will Satan want to be forgiven? No. He won’t. Envy, evil, and hatred have poisoned his once angelic soul (Isaiah 14:12).

    No one can be forgiven if they willingly continue to deny Christ and ”crucify” Him anew.

    Will Hitler have the humility to bow before Christ and beg His forgiveness?

    I can’t imagine that level of change. It’s hard for me to picture that from someone who did such horrible things and strayed so far from the light. That is millenniums of change which is change my mind can’t fathom.

    What I also can’t imagine is how I can ever be made perfect. Me, with all my flaws, judgements, unkindnesses, shortcomings, deceits, greed, and selfishness. How can I be made perfect? I believe it will take a long time.

    Maybe Hitler will change and be forgiven for his sins. I believe if that’s possible it will take time.

    If we love the gospel plan and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s ability to forgive us for our mistakes, we have to accept that they will forgive others too.

    The gospel plan is beautiful. For one and all.

    None of us deserve the redeeming love and a sacrifice willingly given of a God. Jesus Christ, spit upon and bleeding, shed his mortal blood and gave up his immortal spirit so we can live again. I am grateful for what He did for me and I recognize every day that I don’t deserve it. It makes me love Him all the more.

    Forgiveness isn’t something that should be taken lightly. It is serious.

    But when I stand before Him, and I humbly kneel, I believe He will forgive me. And for that moment, I’ll give anything.

  • This is Repentance

    This is Repentance

    Sometimes I struggle with the idea that my sins have been made completely white through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that I’m completely forgiven for everything I’ve done.

    I know this disrespects the Atonement of Jesus Christ and that’s part of my biggest struggle. The last thing I ever want to do is belittle what Christ did for me.

    The thing is, sometimes I still dwell on my past sins. Sometimes I still think about them. Sometimes I still feel remorse and guilt. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve paid the full penitence to those I hurt. Have my sins been washed away? Are they completely gone if I still remember them?

    I rationalize this, and I believe it’s true, that I remember them for my benefit. I have to remember them or I might return to them. It’s the remembrance of guilt that keeps me from wanting to go back to being that person.

    I understand this intellectually.

    Still, sometimes it’s hard for me to understand how Christ can have forgotten my sins, washed them away as if they never happened, when I can’t forget them myself.

    The young men I work with and I recently studied Isaiah chapter 1.

    Isaiah 1:18 reads:

    “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

    After reading that I emphatically emphasized something to those young boys. What I emphasized was this:

    “When you truly repent, and show remorse, and try your absolute hardest to not do it again, Christ forgives and forgets your sins. Period. White as snow. It’s as if they never happened. Don’t be deceived. Satan will have you believe you can never be forgiven for a mistake. This is the great lie. You can be forgiven. If you repent, Christ will forgive. Not only that, He won’t even remember it. It’s like it never happened. I can’t stress this enough.”

    That’s what I said to my young men, and I believe it’s true.

    But… do I believe it’s true?

    Given what I just wrote?

    I had a thought today for the first time ever. I often think about the time of judgement. That time when we stand before Christ and have our life reviews. I’ve never feared that moment. The thought that occurred to me today is: why don’t I fear that moment? I have so much to be embarrassed by, so much to be ashamed of in my past behavior. Why haven’t I worried about it before? It occurred to me that one day my wife, Beth, will see how I once was. I’ve tried to tell her, but I don’t think she gets it. Then it occurred to me that my family will see it too. I will be so ashamed! Why haven’t I feared this before?

    Then it hit me.

    Maybe that’s repentance.

    Repentance is knowing – yes, I did those things. Yes, I made many mistakes. But though my skins be scarlet (they are and were) they shall be as white as snow. As I type this, I hold back tears. That’s what Christ has done for me. That’s what repentance is.

    Luke 15:7:

    “I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

    D&C 18:13:

    “And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”

    I am that soul. I don’t know how the life review will go. If my sins are forgiven and forgotten, are those parts reviewed? I don’t know. But what I realized was, and why I’ve never feared that moment, is even if all my abhorrent behavior is shown, it will be ok. It will be ok because I changed.

    That thought of Beth seeing how I used to be? It occurred to me that maybe she’ll love me even more after seeing all of it because she’ll see how much I changed. She’ll be able to see the full picture of how far I came to be a semi-decent husband and father.

    I think that’s what repentance is. Knowing that even if all your sins are laid out, you’re still forgiven.

    That’s repentance.