No Coincidences

Tag: lds

  • Text to a Friend

    Text to a Friend

    I want to share an exchange with one of my oldest theological friends. I invited this friend to hear me speak in church. My topic was Ephesians 1:10 which reads:

    “That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him”

    I may share that talk sometime in the future.

    My friend was invited to the talk and like the consistent and reliable friend he has been now for years whether across state lines or in the state of Arizona, showed up. I went about ten different directions before I settled on where I would go with my talk. The direction I finally settled on was one in which I knew this friend would disagree. I knew because it was a topic we had regularly disagreed on.

    Afterwards, this friend gave me expected thoughts regarding his side of things and how they relate to my talk. He was pointing out where he disagreed. This is why we have such good conversations! I already knew his points as we’d had the discussion before.

    It resulted in a text I got to send to him that I would like to share (yes, this was one text):

    “Hey, man am I grateful you accept my invitations to things because it’s your feedback and thoughts that strengthen my faith so much.

    Thank you so much for coming. Beth and I talk constantly about how we can’t trust people to keep commitments and do things they say they’ll do. You and [your wife] are one of two couples in our life (outside of family) that when you say you’re going to do something or be somewhere we know you will be. Thank you for that.

    I knew exactly what thoughts you’d have on my talk and I welcome them. I knew it would be somewhat, maybe inflammatory, to you, as I know it touched on things we’ve disagreed on from the beginning. I am glad that you appear to have not been offended by my words. Our disagreement really comes down to one thing, I think. And that’s if the Book of Mormon is true.

    I appreciated the exercise you gave me. As I did it, I came out more convinced that Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God, as the scriptures say. That’s the thing. You read the Bible and see God and Jesus Christ in one way. I see it, without a doubt in my mind, another way. Nothing will change that.

    But why do I see it another way? How can something so clear to you, and something so clear to me, be the opposite?

    As I said in my testimony, it comes down to a prophet. How can I know Jesus Christ is who He is? Because a prophet told me. How do I know he’s a prophet? He would have had to do something miraculous.

    I’ve concluded the Book of Mormon is the miracle God provided so I could know Joseph Smith was who he said he was. And if he was who he said he was, then Jesus Christ is who Joseph Smith said He is: the Son of God, on God’s right hand, as the scriptures say.

    It’s here that I finally thank you for giving me this great gift. It was years ago that you said you couldn’t accept the Book of Mormon because there was no proof the way there was with the Bible – archaeological and otherwise. I have spent the past years seeking “proof” that the Book of Mormon is what Joseph Smith claimed it to be. My list now is well over 400 items (*that was true in 2023 when this was written, now well over 800 individual items) and I am excited to share it with you one day.

    I have you to thank for that. You have built my testimony in a miraculous way and I thank our Heavenly Father, and you for that.

    Of course, “proof” is an interesting word. Despite all the records, eye witnesses, evidences, and testimonies, many still deny Jesus Christ existed, the Bible is the Word of God, etc. My “proof” may not do it for you. But when I review my list, there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that the power of God provided us the Book of Mormon. My faith has become knowledge.

    Until this life ends and we get to review everything, you will never understand how fruitful you have been to building my faith and testimony. Thank you, friend.

    Jesus Christ is the center of everything. He is my King, my Savior, my Redeemer. He is my advocate with the Father. Without Him I have nothing. Without Him I am nothing. I know we see Him differently. That doesn’t change who He is and what He’s done for us. Maybe one of us will change our minds one day. But ultimately, as long as we believe Jesus Christ is our Savior and King, one day we’ll both stand before Him and we’ll know. And it won’t matter who was right or who was wrong. Only He will matter. What a day that will be! Man, I look forward to it!”

    I share this because I think it’s important. The point of Christ is to bring us together. Though we disagree on many, many doctrinal points, this friend and I have fostered a relationship of discussion, debate, and disagreement, always founded on love and respect.

    I am truly grateful for how this person has strengthened me in Christ. That’s what this life is about. There can be good reason there is disagreement in the world – it can be for us to learn how to coexist with those we disagree with. We all have unique experiences in this life. Every moment shapes us and every experience we have changes the way we view the world. It’s through these experiences and listening to the viewpoints of others, someone who has had a vastly different life than we have had, that we can grow and become better.

    The world needs a little more of this.

  • Repentance

    Repentance

    3 Nephi 11:32 reads: 

    “And this is my doctrine, and it is the doctrine which the Father hath given unto me; and I bear record of the Father, and the Father beareth record of me, and the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men everywhere to repent and believe in me.” 

    3 Nephi 11:37-38 reads:

    “And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things. 

    And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” 

    These were some of the first recorded words Jesus Christ spoke to His other flock in the Americas (John 10:16).

    Hugh Nibley says, 

    “Who is righteous in the Book of Mormon? There’s a very simple definition of righteousness in the Book of Mormon, as in the book of Ezekiel. One is righteous because he is repentant, and a person who is not repenting is a person who is not righteous. That’s all there is to it, because we’re all wicked and we all need to repent all the time. “Say nothing but repentance to this generation” (D&C 6:9). The first word of the Lord to the Nephites was, “This is my doctrine…and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men, everywhere to repent…” (3 Nephi 11:32). You have to do that. And as Ezekiel tells us, if a person has been righteous all his life but he’s not repenting any more, he’s wicked (see Ezekiel 18:20-32). Of course, he may have been wicked all of his life, and if he’s repenting now, he’s righteous. It makes no difference. So, always repent, always keep repenting. “But behold, all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people shall dwell safely in the Holy One of Israel if it so be that they will repent” (1 Nephi 22:28).

    I’ve thought a lot about that Hugh Nibley quote since I read it. 

    Can it be that simple? Is it that black and white? 

    Good person = someone repenting 

    Bad person = someone not repenting 

    Does this mean deathbed confessions are adequate? Does this mean if you confess your sins and repent the day before you die that you are righteous? 

    Yes and no. 

    I believe Hugh Nibley’s point is powerful. Repentance=righteousness. Unrepentance=unrighteousness.  

    There’s another part of this equation. Repentance=change. 

    I think back on the eight years I was inactive from church. One of the most distinct aspects of that time period was not praying. I never prayed. Praying made me feel guilty. Since I was not praying, naturally I was also not repenting. At the time I couldn’t repent. Not only due to the fact that I wasn’t praying, but also because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to stop doing the things I was doing. I couldn’t repent and then go continue to do what I was doing. I hope I’ve never taken for granted the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know I do. But I try so hard not to. 

    As I’ve been back at church these last 10 years, I haven’t missed a day of repentance. I repent at least once and sometimes two or three or four times a day. My nightly prayers have a consistent feature, no matter what – asking for forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made. I often try to think back through my day and think of the mistakes I made and the things I could have done better. 

    Repentance causes change. If I repented during the years of my inappropriate behavior, it would have been insincere, or it would have led to change. I wouldn’t have been trying to change. My repentance started when I was ready to change. That isn’t to say I should have waited as long as I did. But I do believe Heavenly Father has an unimaginable amount of patience with us. I think we’ll one day marvel at how much love and patience He possesses.  

    Repentance has a negative connotation. It shouldn’t. Repentance makes us better. As Ivy put it one day when I asked her, “Why do we want to be like Jesus?” 

    “Because He is nice.” Repentance makes us nicer. Repentance makes us better. It isn’t a negative thing at all.  

    Are there nice people that don’t “repent.” Of course. But repentance is bigger than that. It’s a humility. It’s recognizing our faults. It’s recognizing we have nothing without all that God has given us. It is a desire to change and be even better than we were the day before. 

    So are deathbed confessions valid? That’s not for me to decide. I know repentance results in change. Ultimately God will decide. It’s not for us to judge. And that’s the most important point to make. When someone shows up to church for the first time, someone who has made a million mistakes and a million bad life choices; when that person shows up to church, you love them. You love and accept and forgive. Leave the rest for God to decide. A person coming to church and trying to change should be shown as much love as a church congregation can muster.

    The miracle of the Atonement is that it is eternal – backwards and forwards. Forever. Christ is always there waiting for us when we’re ready. When we’re ready to start repenting, then we are ready to start changing, and then we can start to be ready to go see Him again. Hopefully, through so much repentance, we can become like Him. That’s the ultimate goal.  

  • Monumental Moment

    Monumental Moment

    I’ve written about seemingly small moments in my life that made a huge difference on the trajectory of my future. I’ve mentioned a postcard. I’ve also mentioned a seemingly inconsequential invitation to join a basketball team (from that same link). I’d like to elaborate on that basketball invitation story.

    I was so nervous my first time coming back to church that I made my roommate come with me so I didn’t have to go alone. It had been years since I’d been at church.

    I only remember one thing about that first day back at church, and it was after sacrament meeting ended. I’d just sat through my first sacrament meeting in I’m not sure how many years. I was self-conscious, uncomfortable, ready to leave, when the person in front of me turned around in his seat.

    “Hey, do you play basketball?” He asked.

    I remember being blown away. I remember thinking, “Wow! The spirit is powerful here! How did he know???”

    I’ve thought back on that moment. Yes, the spirit was powerful that day. But not in a mystical, this stranger in front of me received a supernatural message that I loved basketball, kind of way. The world would consider that a powerful spiritual experience. What actually happened was equally as powerful, yet more easily “understood” by worldly standards.

    The truth is, as I now suspect, the person who sent that postcard went the extra mile. When I asked about going to church, after telling me where they met and what time, she also reached out to the Bishop of that ward. In hindsignt, I’m pretty sure I was brought up in ward council, a meeting where leaders of a church ward discuss pressing matters.

    I’m sure I was mentioned. I’m sure Kelsie, the postcard giver, told the bishop I liked basketball. That person who turned around in their chair to ask if I liked basketball was in that meeting. I’m sure he was looking for me.

    Is this any less miraculous?

    Is it any less of a miracle that an individual, who had never spoken to me before had heard of me and knew I needed friendship extended in my direction? A complete stranger stepped out of his comfort zone and said hi to a stranger and asked a seemingly random question. A complete stranger didn’t care if I was the worst basketball player in the world, he still asked me to join a city league team with him. 

    As a basketball player, that last part is significant. I would hesitate to ask someone I’d never seen play basketball to join my team. How do I know that person can dribble a basketball? How do I know whether or not that person knows how to play team basketball? How do I know whether or not that person is a nightmare on the basketball court?

    The invitation that day was about more than basketball. That invitation came from an individual who had heard about me, a wayward soul trying to come back, and followed a spiritual prompting to invite me to play on a basketball team- basketball skills be darned.

    That person’s name was David Lake and I owe him a great debt. I have thanked him for that moment. Such a tiny moment. I know he didn’t think about it much after doing it. That was just the kind of person he was. In that moment, a stranger knew me, cared about me, and invited me. 

    That moment made all the difference in my life.

    It’s amazing how a seemingly tiny moment can change the trajectory of a life. Where am I if not for that monumental moment? Did I come to church the next week? Did I meet my wife? Do I have Ivy, Sage, Wren – my own eternal family? 

    There are some moments that carry more weight than others, no matter how seemingly inconsequential.

    My invitation to anyone reading- the next time you’re at the grocery store, or the dog park, or the gym, or at work, and that strange thought comes to your mind while you’re conversing with someone, “Invite them.” Do it. You don’t know the profound blessing that can change a person’s life because you decide to step out of your comfort zone and invite a stranger.

    If you have been blessed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ, share it. Invite others. It’s the least you can do to thank your Heavenly Father for this gift He has given you.

    Beth and I were laughing how roommate Chris is in this picture but I’m not. David Lake prominently placed.
    Beth and I actually met through church basketball. Crazy huh? As you’ll see in this picture, couldn’t be seen too close to her, would be too obvious.
    A future wife, future best friend I still coach with, many lifelong friends, and saving Bishop all in one picture. That’s a miracle.
  • Attack in Michigan

    Attack in Michigan

    For those who didn’t hear, there was a shooting at an LDS church 18 days ago. I’m not sure if this was big news outside of LDS circles. Sad when there is “just another shooting.”

    For these last two weeks I’ve considered writing something about the attack.

    It felt like something I should write about.

    But I didn’t know what to say. Especially with all the conversation that started to come up around it, I didn’t really want to contribute to that.

    But again, I felt like it was something I should write about.

    The first thing I felt when I heard the news was a real, deep sadness. A quick, deep sadness, like a punch of sorrow to my gut.

    The next thing I felt was a little ashamed of myself. There are shootings often. Unfortunately. When this happened, it hit me hard. I found other recent shootings that I hadn’t heard anything about. Every shooting brings me sadness. Why did this one impact me so much more? I guess because this shooting happened against my people, I felt it more.

    I don’t like thinking in terms of “my people.” Polarized, tribal views is one of the major issues in America right now.

    Still, these were my people. I now had images of being with my congregation on Sunday when a nightmare might start. These were followers of Christ. These were my brothers and sisters.

    What happened in Michigan hit me. But it’s not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the response.

    What should separate members of the body of Christ? How should members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints act? How should true followers of Christ respond to an act of violence against them?

    If we are true studiers of the Book of Mormon, true understanders of the Gospel, and true readers of the Bible, we should know that the response should be love and compassion. No matter how hard that is.

    So when I read that a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, not a member of the attacked congregation, but a member nonetheless, when I heard someone started a fundraiser for the family of the man that did something indescribably wrong, I held back tears.

    I encourage you to read that last link becuase Dave Butler, the man who started the fundraiser, makes some good and important points.

    It’s not easy to forgive your enemies.

    Is this a story of forgiveness or is it a story of empathy, love, and compassion? It is an example of all those things. This was just a way for a community of people to show all those attributes in a difficult circumstance.

    We have a commission to look after the widowed and fatherless. There was now a family that needed that. The human family showed its true character when it stepped up to help the widowed and the fatherless.

    If we could just show more love, compassion, forgiveness, and empathy in this world, how different would it be?

    I am proud of my church.

    I am proud of Jesus Christ’s church.

    I’m proud of our members and what we represent. I know that aggression against the followers of Christ will increase. I wrote about this last week. I hope our faith is ready to withstand the trials that await us.

    I hope that throughout our trials we can always remember that love, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness are always the right choice.

  • A Ward Family

    A Ward Family

    When Beth and I got married, we were required to leave our ward or church building we had been attending. That ward was for young single adults (YSA). As we were no longer single and saying goodbye to the days of young, it was time for us to leave.

    That ward held an important place in my heart. It was that ward that helped me come back to Christ. It was the leaders there that helped me re-establish my faith. It was the people there that helped me feel welcome and helped me to stay.

    I didn’t want to leave.

    Beth said we had to.

    After the YSA ward Beth and I joined a family ward that didn’t last long before it was split, boundaries were reset, and we joined another ward.

    We’ve now been in the Chaparral ward for most of our marriage.

    We recently moved so we’re joining a new ward, a new group of people, a new building. It won’t be that different, aside from the people.

    And yet it’s been really hard for me to say goodbye.

    We’re just moving down the street, I’ll still see some of the people from our old ward sometimes. But it won’t be the same.

    I compared it to moving away for college. Moving away for college was really difficult for me. I love my family. I knew when I left for college that everything was changing. I also knew it was something I had to do to grow.

    When I left for college, of course I’d continued to see my family. They’d only be a 5-hour drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every day. I wouldn’t talk to them every day. We wouldn’t be in the same house.

    In the same way, leaving our ward, they’d just be a 15-minute drive away. But I wouldn’t see them every Sunday. I wouldn’t talk to them every week.

    I guess I just don’t like goodbyes.

    It’s difficult saying goodbye to my family every time I leave home.

    And that’s when I realized that the Chaparral Ward in the Scottsdale Arizona North Stake had become my family, and I would miss them.

    My calling in our ward for the last year was Elders Quorum President. Before that I was an Elders Quorum counselor so I’d been in the Elders Quorum Presidency for the Chaparral Ward for a couple years. I had pages and pages of notes. Tons of spreadsheets. Tons of information, and thoughts, and to-dos for and about these people I had come to care a lot about. As I compiled it all into one email for the person taking my place, I realized I wouldn’t need most of this information ever again.

    As I closed 15 browser tabs on my computer that I’d had open for a year, it was like saying goodbye.

    A ward family is unique and special. I will miss those people. I will miss those relationships.

    A little over a year ago the Chaparral ward received a new member. A man was baptized into our ward. Soon after his baptism, he moved to a new area, so he left our ward. But he was still family. He started dating a woman from our ward and they were sealed in the Gilbert temple recently. Beth and I were privileged and blessed to be there.

    Beth and I found a babysitter that very morning, just in time to get to the temple. We were one of the last to arrive and walk into the sacred sealing room. We had only been out of the Chaparral ward a couple weeks. As we walked into the sealing room, we looked around at all familiar faces, all faces from the Chaparral ward. I realized that for this couple getting married, with no local family or family in the church, this was their famliy: Ward Family. Everyone there were members of their church. Everyone there loved them. This is the significance of a ward family. This is the power and the love of a church.

    I guess this is what Christ wants. It’s why His church is important. Over time we spend so much time with these people. We love and we serve. During my time in the Chaparral ward I thought about this group of people so much, sometimes at the expense of my family. Sometimes my family needed me but I was at someone’s new home at 8am Saturday morning helping them move. Often I would be on my phone with someone needing help while my girls crawled over me. The time put into those people I loved so much connected me to them.

    A new Elders Quorum President comes in and the ward will continue with business as usual. All will continue seamlessly. This is the structure of Christ’s church.

    It’s the love of Christ that allows us to serve in these callings. I’m grateful for that calling. It was so hard. I couldn’t believe I only served in that calling for a year because it felt like so much more. That calling stretched my limits and taught me a lot.

    I’m grateful that Christ asks us to serve when we’re so incapable.

    But now I say goodbye and we move on to new opportunities, new people, new chances to serve.

    “To ten million fireflies, I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes

    I got misty eyes as they said farewell.”

    -Owl City