No Coincidences

Tag: plan of salvation

  • Eternal Families, Children, and The Best Part of Me Was Always You

    Eternal Families, Children, and The Best Part of Me Was Always You

    *Originally written 4/19/2022, edited for posting in 2025.

    I was having a discussion with my mom a frew years ago about the trend in China of younger people not wanting to have children. We talked about this trend spreading through society. This trend of young people wanting to enjoy travelling, free time, more financial freedom, and therefore, choosing to not start families or have children.

    I watched an episode of a show recently. In the show, there is an extremely wealthy and powerful couple. They put off having children. The wife has gotten older and it may be too later for her to have children, but she’s thinking about children. She has a conversation with her husband. In the conversation she says, “Why have we built all this, what is it for?” And he replies, “It’s for us, we built it for ourselves.” She responds, “But if one of us dies…”

    She hit on something there. If you only build in this life for yourself, and if at some point you die, what did you really build it for?

    Back to that conversation with my mom years ago, we talked about how this is a sad level of selfishness spreading. How much can I travel, how much freedom can I have, how much money can I have for myself, with children being only a burden that take these things away from us. Now, of course, there are those who can’t have children and don’t have a choice. This doesn’t apply to someone in that situation at all. I’m talking about all the people my age that have decided a child isn’t worth their time, because their life is more important.

    Until you give your life for another, you never truly understand your capacity to love. Until you open yourself up to the love and selfless life that is caring for a child, “selfless” is just an adjective.

    I was on a long road trip with Beth and Ivy and so I was sitting in the back seat to give Ivy company. This was before Sage and Wren entered our lives. A song started playing. I was leaning over, staring right at Ivy. The lyrics of this song are meant to describe the heartache of a breakup. But as I listened to the words and applied them to the love I felt for my daughter whom I was staring at, the lyrics took on a whole new, eternal, and powerful meaning to me. For those words to take on the meaning they did, I had to apply them in a dark and sad way. I imagined what would happen if I ever lost Ivy (tears come to my eyes as I type those words). Bear with me. The topic will not stay sad and morbid.

    The lyrics were from a song called Breakeven by The Script:

    I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
    Just prayin’ to a God that I don’t believe in
    ‘Cause I got time while she got freedom
    ‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even

    Her best days will be some of my worst

    …

    While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping

    ‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even, even, no

    What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And
    What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?
    I’m falling to pieces, yeah
    I’m falling to pieces

    They say bad things happen for a reason
    But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
    ‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
    And when a heart breaks no it don’t break even, even, no

    And what am I going to do when the best part of me was always you? And
    What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?
    I’m falling to pieces, yeah
    I’m falling to pieces, yeah
    I’m falling to pieces
    (One still in love while the other one’s leaving)
    I’m falling to pieces
    (‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even)

    What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? And
    What am I suppose to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?
    (Oh glad you’re okay now)
    I’m falling to pieces yeah
    I’m falling to pieces (oh, I’m falling, falling) yeah
    I’m falling to pieces
    (One still in love while the other one’s leaving)
    I’m falling to pieces
    (‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even)

    While preparing to post this, Wren crawled to my chair and pulled herself to stand at my feet. I decided to experiment if this song is still emotional when considered in this twisted context I’ve applied to it. Yup, still tears. I only let myself brush the very edge of the surface of this hypothetical.

    I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. I can not. “What am I going to do when the best part of me was always you?”

    I think the most difficult thing that could happen in this life is losing a child and my heart breaks at the mere thought of it. I feel for anyone that has to endure that pain. Just reading those lyrics, considering what I was writing 3.5 years ago, my chest started to ache at the thought. What I wrote here applies more than ever now that I have 3 daughters who I love more than life itself.

    “I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing.”

    “Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in.” This would ever happen to me. But I can see how it would for so many in this world. Which makes me sad. And is why I’m writing this.

    “’Cause I got time while she got freedom” – I’m stuck in time while she would be free.

    “Her best days will be some of my worst” – The best days for our loved ones, their return home, to heaven, is often the worst days for those left behind.

    “While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping”

    “They say bad things happen for a reason
    But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
    ‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
    And when a heart breaks no it don’t break even, even, no

    And what am I going to do when the best part of me was always you? And
    What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?
    I’m falling to pieces, yeah.

    This discussion with my mom, that moment with Ivy in the car, and these thoughts originally happened over Easter weekend three years ago.

    Without the resurection, the lyrics of this song would be perfectly true. It would be impossible to go on from that sort of tragedy. But the resurection is real. Jesus Christ did conquer death. I know that Jesus Christ was resurected and that myself and my family will be resurected.

    I can’t believe that I will ever be without Ivy, Sage, Wren, and Beth for too long a period of time. This life is but a blink in eternity. I look at them, and the love I have for each of them, I know the God I love would not allow this level of love in my heart, and then not allow me to be with them forever. It makes me sad that much of Christianity does not have the truth restored through Christ’s true gospel that families can be together forever. I know that Ivy will be mine for eternity. I know that Sage will be mine for eternity. I know that Wren will be mine for eternity. When I’m 100 and Ivy is 70, she will still be my daughter. When I leave this world and she stays, she will still be my daughter. When we both have left this life, she will still be my daughter.

    To all those who might be reading this, and I’ve drudged up memories and feelings you have tried to suppress, to all those thinking about the loved one you so desperately miss now, my message to you is of hope. 

    I know that Christ suffered all of my sins so that I could be forgiven for them and overcome death through His blood and grace. I know that Christ conquered death and was resurrected, so that my family and I can be resurrected. I know that we will live together again as a family unit, because of what He did for me. This is why (though I always fall short) I’ve tried so hard to give everything to Him – my heart, my time, my love, my devotion, my life – because He already gave me everything that means anything. 

    I say with any authority I can muster, with full confidence and faith in the Plan of God: You will see your loved ones again. The ones that make you fall to pieces, the ones that just thinking about choke you up, the ones that make you feel alive but like you’re barely breathing, the ones you don’t know if you can live without because they were the best part of you: You will see them again.

    I am thankful for these truths that have been restored. I’m grateful to know that whatever happens in this life or the next, Ivy, Sage, and Wren will be mine, and I will be theirs. Forever. This goes for Beth also. Because of Jesus Christ we will be together forever. And my love for Him is inexpressable when I consider what He’s done for me.

  • God will Provide

    God will Provide

    I often make the comment around certain individuals who I know will understand my meaning (like my wife, close friends, people from church), that God will provide/protect/etc.

    An example of this recently was when my tires were extremely worn. Beth took them to get them checked and the mechanic was shocked. He said he was shocked a tire didn’t blow on the drive over. Beth let me know and I responded, “I looked for a gif of “God protects” or God saves” or “God will provide” but they’re all blasphemous. But for real. Love that guy.”

    The blasphemous part is why I’d be careful how and who I’d say this around. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m taking this lightly or making a joke of it.

    I live my life with a serious belief that God is watching out for me daily. I firmly believe He kept a tire from blowing up on my car even though it probably should have.

    I know that if bad things happen to me, they’re for my growth and ultimate benefit. I know that when good things happen to me, God is blessing me and watching out for me.

    Now, I know that someone with no faith or someone who doesn’t understand my way of thinking would look at this as a naïve, blissfully ignorant way to live life. I, on the other hand, think living without faith is a sad way to go through life.

    I know that all things have a purpose. I know this life is extremely significant, every single moment of it. I know good or bad is ultimately for my good. Isn’t that kind of amazing? It is to me.

  • Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Morning Commute, Family, Purpose, and Eternity

    Today I was driving into work and a thought occurred to me.

    This wasn’t the first time this thought has come to me, but seldom has it hit me so clearly and with such impact.

    The thought was this:

    “I’m driving down the freeway and I’m surrounded by people also on the freeway. Most of us on our way to work. A seemingly innumerable number of us. In Phoenix, this is not too far from the truth. A million of us on our way to work. What is the point of all this? I know the point of all this. So few of these people around me know why they’re here or what they’re doing.”

    This is a common theme I write about. The importance of knowing where we come from, why we’re here, and where we’re going. The three ultimate questions that so few seem to care about nowadays.

    A world of billions and how many know their purpose?

    I know my purpose. I know what’s more important than anything. Two things:

    1. My family.
    2. Assisting, however I can, in the building of God’s Kingdom, or sharing the great and important truths with as many people as I can, the truths that no one seems to seek anymore.

    Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that second item. Sometimes I feel like I fall quite short on that first item.

    I feel better about the first item every time I see Ivy, Sage, or Beth smile.

    Sometimes I feel like no one around me cares about eternity and that makes item two difficult.

    But we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, and loving our families (item one) no matter how hard it gets.

    And we go on caring for, teaching, taking care of, loving, and sharing with our eternal family (item two) no matter how much apathy seems to have set in.

    This is eternity.

  • Plan of Salvation and What Christianity is Missing

    Plan of Salvation and What Christianity is Missing

    Outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, what does Christianity believe about the after-life? Generally speaking, Christianity believes that we are born on earth, live our lives, die, are judged, and assigned to either heaven or hell.

    I heard something on an awesome podcast called Unshaken Saints recently that I’d never realized. What the host of the podcast pointed out was that Christianity has it right. Christianity is just missing the beginning and the end.

    As I stated, Christianity believes in life on earth, then judgement, then heaven or hell.

    The truth is that life doesn’t start here on earth. This is the beginning that Christianity is missing. We lived long before we came to earth. There are many truths that stem from our understanding of our premortal existence. One of the most important truths that premortality provides us is an understanding of agency. We chose to come here. This life wasn’t thrust upon us. This is the missing beginning.

    The truth after death (the end) is that we are temporarily assigned to either “spirit prison” or “paradise,” but this isn’t our final resting place. After our temporary assignment to prison or paradise, we receive our final judgement that the scriptures speak of. This is when we come before God and Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ as our advocate to the Father and our judge before God. This is where we either accept Jesus Christ and the mercy He has given us and are reconciled to God, then assigned our glory by the mercy of God and His Son, Jesus Christ; or we reject Jesus Christ and are cast out to outer darkness. We must willfully reject God, Jesus Christ, and the mercy we are given to be cast off. This is the hell that Christianity understands.

    There will be glory assigned to all of God’s children. How can that be? It can be because He loves us that much, so much that He gave His only Begotten Son to save us.

    Christianity thinks the final judgement is immediately after we die. The beauty of the Plan of Salvation is the realization that everyone will have an opportunity to accept Jesus Christ. Everyone will be taught and be given a fair chance. Spirits in “prison” will learn what they missed on earth. No one will be left out. Children are alive in Christ (Moroni 8:12). No one will be lost.

    This is what Christianity misses. The beginning and the end. Premortality and the final judgement. If you cut off the beginning and the end of the Plan of Salvation, you have life on earth and spirit prison or paradise. That’s missing half the picture. We lived before we came here. We were loved by a loving Father in heaven before we came here. At the end, we will be judged for our actions, all we did on earth, our heart’s intent, our good deeds and bad, what we provided in this speck of time that will send us on an eternal trajectory. The beginning and the end. That’s what Christianity misses by rejecting further revelation by God’s prophets.

    What does this do to Christianity?

    Christianity believes we started here on earth. What does that do to our agency? We didn’t choose to come here. We didn’t know God before we came, who is He to us? This is what Joseph Smith spoke of when he talked about the First Vision. He said he learned that God and Jesus Christ knew him by name. For me, that knowledge is so engrained in my soul and being, it’s something I know, that God knows me. The Christianity Joseph Smith knew prior to the First Vision led him to be surprised that God could know him. I’m grateful for the truth God provided Joseph Smith when he appeared to him in a grove.

    Back to what Christianity believes – we come to this earth by no choice of our own, sent by a God we don’t know or understand. We come to this earth to suffer by the sweat of our brow, a fallen world, a cruel world, a challenge we don’t understand, a challenge we didn’t choose. Then God judges us and casts 90% of us off. Most are cast off because they never knew God or Jesus Christ, no fault of their own.

    This is what Christianity believes.

    The podcast provided another analogy that made me think about how this misunderstanding of the Plan of Salvation limits Christianity.

    There are two young men sitting outside of a Bishop’s office. One of the boys doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t understand why he’s there. All he knows about the Bishop is that he’s a wrathful, unkind, harsh man. This young man fears the Bishop.

    The other young man knows the Bishop. He knows him to be just and kind. He knows the Bishop loves him and only wants what’s best for the him.

    As the first boy waits, he feels like he is in prison. He is dreading the upcoming confrontation with this unkind bishop.

    What does the second young man experience? Is he not in a paradise? He knows he’s soon to meet a friend. That friend is going to give him a treat, congratulate him on how he’s been doing, give him a hug and tell him he loves him. This second young man welcomes the meeting with the Bishop.

    The lack of knowledge in Christianity represents the first young man. Christianity doesn’t know God. By removing the premortal existence, life with a loving Father before life on earth, a Plan to come to earth and progress, a chance to learn of Him after this life, and then to be judged after being given all the necessary information, Christianity only sees a confusing, wrathful God, who has unfairly judged them.

    The Plan of Salvation is a beautiful truth that Christianity is missing. Far from being completely ignorant, Christianity is really close. But this closeness, without the full truth, is extremely limiting.

    ALL of us on earth chose to come to earth. All of us already chose Jesus Christ.

    This is a powerful truth. I wish the rest of Christianity could see, understand, and accept the further light and knowledge that makes this life understandable and worth living.

  • Discussion Before I Came to Earth

    Discussion Before I Came to Earth

    “Now, you’re going to get a lot of attention. A LOT. You will be the center of their world for years. This will give you a huge advantage in life. That early love will carry you for your entire mortal experience.”

    My upcoming birth and place in life were being discussed.

    “But, there is a downside. Your parents are young, inexperienced. They can barely take care of themselves. Now they’ll have to take care of you. They will make mistakes. Every mistake they make will be made up for by the outpouring of love you receive, but there will still be mistakes. You will have to grow up as they learn to take care of a child.

    “Also, being the first-born will be a huge responsibility. If things go according to plan, and they always do, you will be the first of many children. Your younger siblings will be as much your responsibility in life as your parents. You will have to answer to how you treated them, how you watched over them, how you protected them, how you supported them. It will start at a young age, but it will be for your entire mortal life. You will have to watch over them.”

    I loved each of them so much already. Of course, I would do that.

    “Being the oldest will provide many unique opportunities. Sometimes you will be a bully. This will be to teach you something later in life and to teach your siblings. Over time your relationship with them will grow and develop. You all will mature mortally and spiritually.

    “It won’t be easy. But being the first-born child will set you up to achieve your highest potential. It’s what He has in store for you. It will help you become who you can become.”

    This is how I imagine the conversation in heaven was before I came here. It would continue,

    “You will have a bumpy path. You’ve always had to learn things through trial and error. You will taste much of the bitter to realize how sweet obedience is.

    “Eventually we believe you will come back. Of course, that will be up to you. But Father doesn’t misread these things. When you come back you will find a companion from the devoted women of the kingdom. You know her already.

    “When the time is right, we will send you His choicest spirit. She will enter in much the same position you entered this world. Your wife and you will have much to learn, and she will teach you. You will be sent a strong, powerful, spiritual, kind, gentle, intelligent spirit to be a cornerstone of your family. She will be followed by another choice spirit, one who even now can’t wait for her experience to start. She will bring a spark and a light to your family. Your family will be stronger for the two pillars sent to expand it. You will be greatly blessed by your daughters.”

      Doesn’t this bring so much meaning to life? The truth of premortal existence speaks to my soul. I know it to be a fact. It is too sweet for my spirit to deny. I know its truth. I knew where I was coming, I knew who I was joining, I knew my wife and daughters before I came here. I was guided and trained for my time here on earth. I was sent for a purpose. I believe I’m still learning that purpose. Every mortal experience I’ve had has led me to the purposes I’m finding in life.

      “Your purpose will be to come to Him. Because you will taste so much bitter, you will be able to help others find Him. This will be your purpose.”

      I’m grateful for this truth of premortality. I know it’s true. I feel it. I know there’s a reason I’m here. I’m grateful for that.

      https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/premortality?lang=eng